CHAPTER
FOUR
____________________
Calder
My stomach growled as I took one more walk through The Indigo Room's kitchen just to be sure everything was under control. I'd already met with the promoter and taken care of all the crises and minor details I needed to so we would be ready to open later tonight, and now it was time for a very late lunch. The few staff members already here for food prep called out greetings as I passed through on my way back to my office.
"Everything looks good, guys," I called out. I was a firm believer in positive feedback with my employees. People that didn't feel appreciated tended not to bother to do their best. Mind you, if one of them didn't pull their weight and slacked off, I'd be the first one calling them out on it. I wasn't a boss to be fucked with. I demanded respect, and I tended to get it in return since I treated my employees the way I'd want to be treated. Nothing pissed me off more than disrespect.
I left the kitchen behind and walked across the massive main room of my club. It still amazed me how different and unassuming the place looked during the day without the pulsing club lighting. Set up for the night was in full swing, and several more employees called out greetings as I moved through the club. I acknowledged every one of them as I passed by.
I rolled my shoulders as I walked, tension tightening the muscles there uncomfortably. I desperately needed to work some stress off tonight, and I knew just what I needed. I pulled my phone out as I walked through the door that led into my business office. I scrolled through my contacts as I absently headed down the hallway past Gwen's empty desk at the reception window and the break room.
Movement caught my eye behind the frosted glass walls of the conference room where I knew Gwen was doing an interview, and I wished I could see inside. I ignored the sudden urge to walk in and take over. I didn't want to disrespect Gwen by undermining this opportunity I'd given her, so I hurried straight to my office door at the end of the hall. I walked in and closed the door behind me, then called the contact I'd brought up on my phone.
"What can I do for you, Mr. Rennen, sir?" a polite yet seductively riveting female voice spoke.
"Claudia," I purred out, knowing how my deep voice affected her and using it to my advantage. "I can think of so many many things you can do for me."
"Anything to please you, sir," came her immediate and sensual reply.
"It pleases me to hear that," I said in approval. "And it would please me very much to see you tonight, my lovely. Meet me at Désir at midnight, and wear red."
"Yes, sir," Claudia replied in a breathless voice that was thick with arousal. "I can't wait, sir."
"Good, girl," I said huskily. "I'll see you tonight." I ended the call, feeling calmer already.
Claudia wasn't my girlfriend, but something else entirely. She was my current sub, or submissive, and I was her Dominant, or Dom, in a BDSM relationship. We had a mutually agreed upon written contract that laid out the parameters and limits of our relationship. It was a purely sexual power exchange, and there would be no other involvement beyond that. I couldn't ever give a woman more than that. Believe me, I'd tried and finally given up on that happening a long time ago.
Claudia was well aware of that, and either of us could end our contract at any time if we chose. It was the only way to satisfy my physical needs for sex and control without the risk of the emotional ties I wasn't capable of reciprocating. I'd unintentionally hurt a lot of women who thought there was a chance we could have a real relationship before I figured that out, and the contracts kept that from happening.
Désir Dangereux wasn't just a nightclub like The Indigo Room either. It was something else as well. It was the BDSM club I owned and operated. I was meeting Claudia there tonight to control and dominate her body and her pleasure in my private playroom there. I never brought my subs into my home anymore. I'd learned that the hard way, when one of them got entirely too comfortable and was snooping around my house like it was hers. My privacy was very important to me, and understandably I ended her contract then and there, and threw her out. Now I only played at the club.
A lot of things in my life weren't what they seemed. Like the charismatic businessman I showed the world in my professional life, or even the calm and controlled man I was with the few people I spent a lot of time with on a daily basis. The only person who came the closest to knowing the real me was Scott. I didn't trust easily, and it had taken a long time for me to trust him completely. In truth, my mind was chaos most days, a maelstrom of leftover heroin cravings that had to be managed along with the constant fear of giving into them, the painful guilt that I ever used in the first place, and a deep-seated need for control most people couldn't fathom or even understand. Sometimes I didn't understand it myself, but it was the only thing that kept me from losing myself to the chaos in my head, and kept the abyss of addiction at bay.
My stomach growled again, reminding me that I needed to eat. Luckily, I had some leftovers in the break room refrigerator I brought in from home yesterday, and I was greatly relieved about that. I always preferred to eat food that I'd prepared myself. My control issues affected every part of my life, every damn part, including my body and what I put in it. It was why I exercised daily and was a vegan. I'd spent so many years abusing my body in and out that I felt the need to take care of it now. Going vegan was a penance to pay my body back for the harm that I'd caused it, and to a lesser extent for the harm I'd done to others when I was still using.
I slipped my suit jacket off, hung it over my chair, and headed out of my office toward the break room. I walked in and jolted to a halt as I set eyes on a young girl in shorts and a purple T-shirt sitting at the small table quietly playing with a tablet. She looked up and immediately gave me a welcoming smile. She had long flaxen blond hair pulled into a loose ponytail, big dark-green eyes, and a cute little nose. For some reason, she seemed somehow familiar to me, but I was sure I'd never seen her before.
"Hi, I'm Violet," she said without a trace of apprehension or nervousness. "I'm almost twelve."
I couldn't help but grin back at her. "I'm Calder," I told her politely. "And I'm not anywhere near twelve anymore," I added in amusement.
She frowned in consternation. "Calder? What kind of name is that?" Her question was abrupt and I would have normally found it obtrusive, but her curiosity was just so disarmingly genuine that I couldn't take any offense.
"It's Scottish," I answered as I stepped closer to her. "It was my grandmother's maiden name. It means rough waters."
"That's weird," Violet said thoughtfully as she furrowed her brows. "Why did your mom and dad name you that?"
My smile faltered at the mention of my parents. Talking about my mother was a sensitive subject full of pain, anger, and regret that I had no intention of discussing with this kid or anyone else for that matter. As for the subject of my father, I didn't want to talk about that because I had no idea who he was and felt no desire to find out either.
"I really have no idea, kid," I replied flatly as I moved toward the fridge to get my lunch. I could feel her watching me as I pulled my container of food out and set it on the nearby counter.
"Are you like a superhero or something?" Violet asked out of nowhere.
"What?" I asked incredulously as I turned to gape at her.
"Your arms and shoulders are so big," she said matter-of-factly. "You look like you've got super strength."
"No," I said with a laugh as I grinned at her again. This kid was something else. "It's from lifting weights."
"I bet you could bench press like a thousand pounds," she said in complete seriousness. Oh my God, this kid was killing me.
"Most people can't lift anything near that, kid. Me included," I replied. I put my food in the microwave and started it before turning back to face her. "Do you even know what a bench press is?" I asked her dubiously.
"Well, duh," she said, looking at me like I was dense. "It's when you lie on your back and lift that giant dumbbell looking thing." She leaned back in her chair and began miming a bench press in the air with both hands. "Like this." She frowned at me with a pointed and slightly offended expression.
"Sorry," I said as I lifted my hands in a placating gesture.
"Do you work here?" she asked next, abruptly changing the subject.
"Yes," I answered her with a nod, not sure where she was going with her questions now. This kid was all over the place.
"Is it nice?" She looked very serious now. "Are the people here jerks?"
"Well, I think it's nice," I responded with a smirk, "but I'm the boss so my opinion is biased. And if people act like jerks around here, I fire them."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "You're not a jerk, are you?"
"I try not to be."
"Good," she said in satisfaction, "because my mom wants to work here, and I don't want anyone being mean to her."
Ah, that explained why Violet was here. Her mother must be in the break room with Gwen right now. The kid was so sweet, questioning me to protect her mom. I hoped the girl's mother was worthy of her child's dedication. Mine certainly hadn't been worthy of it while I was growing up.
"I promise you, Violet. I take care of my employees, and if your mom gets the job, no one will be mean to her," I told her in a firm tone, giving her the reassurance she needed.
The microwave beeped before Violet could ask me something else. I grabbed a plate out of the cupboard and began dumping my food out onto it.
"What's that?" Violet suddenly asked from right beside me, making me startle a little. I didn't even hear her come up next to me. What was this kid, a Navy SEAL?
"You need a bell," I told her on impulse.
"What?"
"Nothing," I replied. "It's kung pao tempeh."
"Don't you mean kung pao chicken?" she asked in a perplexed voice.
"No, I don't eat meat because I'm a vegan," I explained to her. "Tempeh is a meat substitute made from soy."
"You don't eat meat?" Violet asked as she stared up at me like I'd grown a second head. "Not at all?"
"Nope," I replied with a smile. "No dairy or eggs either."
She frowned and jerked her head backwards, looking even more confused, and it was kind of funny. "But why?"
"A lot of reasons," I said, smirking in amusement at her. "Mostly because it's healthier, and nothing has to die or get hurt for me to eat."
"Oh," she said, looking intrigued as she stared at my plate. "Can I try it?"
"Sure." I pulled open a drawer and grabbed two forks, handing one to her. "It's pretty spicy though," I warned her.
"I like spicy," Violet said confidently. "Mexican is my favorite food." She stabbed her fork right into a piece of tempeh and fearlessly put it in her mouth. I watched her chew it thoughtfully for a moment, and waited for her to make a face or spit it out. Most kids weren't that adventurous with food. To my amazement, she smiled up at me and said, "That's really yummy."
"Thanks." I smiled back down at her. "I made it myself."
"You should have a restaurant and make that for people." She nodded to herself. "I bet you could make a lot of money."
I snorted out a laugh. I'd actually been toying with the idea of opening a vegan restaurant for a few years now. I just didn't have the time with all my other businesses occupying my attention.
"That's a great idea, kid." I smirked at her as I picked up my plate. "I'll keep that in mind."
She looked smug as she walked back over to the table. She sat down and started messing with her tablet again. "How do you spell that vegan word? I want to look it up."
I told her how to spell it, and watched her type it into her tablet. I really liked this kid, and I hoped Gwen gave her mom the job, but I was determined to stay out of it.
"It was nice talking to you, Violet," I said sincerely as I started walking out of the room to go eat in my office.
"You too," she replied without looking up, deeply engrossed in what she was doing on her tablet now.
I walked back toward my office shaking my head in amusement and thinking that I might have just managed to convert a meat-eater to veganism without even meaning to. I'm sure her mother was going to be thrilled.