Chapter 5
Lara
So much color! I loved it! Everywhere I looked there was color. I couldn’t wait to get to the boutique and show Kali pictures. I had spent every waking moment painting my condo. If I wasn’t at work, I was home painting and infusing life into the place.
I bounced into the shop. I was smiling and felt as if I were an entirely different person than the woman I had been even a week ago. My life had fallen apart and I had tumbled into a pit of despair, but I was out. I had fought and clawed my way to the top of the pit, and now I was standing in the sunshine!
“Hey! You look happy,” Kali commented. “Did you get more painting done?”
I excitedly nodded my head. “I did!”
“Let me see!”
I pulled my iPad out of my bag and put it on the counter. I brought up the first picture of the living room.
“Oh my god! It’s beautiful!” she exclaimed.
“Thank you.”
“I have to admit, I was worried when you told me you were going with gold in the living room.”
I laughed. “You should have seen the guy at the paint store. He thought I had lost my mind. I love how warm it makes the room feel. Warm and sunny.”
She nodded. “It does. It’s a pretty pale gold.”
“Kitchen,” I said, swiping the screen. “I went with a dark coffee color to tone down all that stainless steel and the gray countertops.”
Kali was nodding her head. “It is stunning. It looks like a completely different home. I can’t believe the difference a coat of paint made.”
“Wait until you see my bathroom.”
When I swiped the screen, her mouth fell open. “Wow. Now that is bold.”
I laughed. “It is. I love it. The sapphire color matches the new bedding I bought. It kind of ties it all together. I’m going to leave the gray carpet. I haven’t quite decided if I’m going to leave my bedroom walls the pale gray or not. For now, I like it.”
Kali shook her head in awe. “I can’t believe you’ve done all of this in the past few days. That is a lot of work!”
“I needed it. It was cathartic. I have this whole new attitude. I feel good.”
She laughed. “Our relief should be here shortly, and then we are going to bring some of that color that’s in your condo into your wardrobe. I cannot wait to get some color on you!”
“Me too. When I look in my closet, it is all monochrome: black, white, gray. For excitement, there is beige. My god, if I ever wear beige again, shoot me.”
She hugged me. “We are going to get you all fixed up.”
I put the iPad away and looked at her. “Thank you. You are a great friend. I want to apologize for the other day after my appointment.”
“No. Don’t you dare. It was about time you showed me you were actually human. You’ve been marching on a like a good little soldier for too long. You deserved a breakdown,” she said softly.
“Thanks. I boxed up my clothes and had one of the ladies from the charity place pick them up this morning.”
“Whew! With the way you had them piled all over the place when I came over, I was concerned you were going to torch them.”
I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “I cannot believe I did that. I blame the paint fumes.”
She giggled. “There were definitely a lot of paint fumes in that place.”
“One minute I was looking for a shirt to throw on and the next I was ripping clothes off hangers and dumping out drawers. Everything looked so—I don’t know, dull! It was like a picture of the last twenty years of my life: black and white with very few splashes of color. My closet was my life. I want to forget any of it happened. I want my new closet to be filled with lots of color and excitement.”
“It will. But we don’t want to get too carried away. You need to make room for the maternity clothes you’ll be buying soon.” She winked.
“I want jeans and sweats and clothes that say, ‘I’m a new mom and I didn’t have time to shower.’”
She laughed. “Only you would actually want that look.”
“Do you know I have no sweats or pants with elastic waists? Mitchel forbade the casual look. It was either we were always dressed for the country club or naked. There were no in between, Sunday-afternoon lounge clothes allowed. I want worn jeans and T-shirts with casual shoes—although I am not about to clean out my shoes. Those stay.”
Kali hugged me again. “I know, dear. We will. We’ll hit the mall. Macy’s, Nordstrom, and hell, maybe even Sears. We’ll find you casual and comfortable.”
“Should I cut my hair? Dye it blond?” I asked, suddenly feeling like I needed a complete makeover.
“No. Absolutely not. You can later if you want, but let’s take this one step at a time. I understand the need to change things, and that’s great, but we don’t want to do too much too soon and have you regret it. A shorter hairstyle might work well after the baby, though. Don’t rush into anything,” she said in a serious tone. “This is all a big change.”
“You’re right. I like my hair the way it is.”
The door chimed and our relief cashiers came in.
“Hi, ladies,” I said to them. “Thank you for coming in today.”
Once we got everything settled, Kali and I headed out the door and up the street to do some shopping. I couldn’t wait to replace my ho-hum wardrobe with one that popped and showed how happy I was to be alive.
We stopped at the first store and started grabbing various tops and colorful, flowing skirts. With my arms loaded, I headed into the dressing room. Once I had on the first outfit, I took one look in the mirror and started laughing.
“Let me see!” Kali shouted.
I opened the door and walked out in the black skirt and bedazzled shirt she had picked out.
“Oh my.”
I burst out laughing again. “I think there is a rule about wearing sequins beyond the age of ten.”
She nodded her head. “Most definitely. That is a no. I do like the skirt, though.”
I tried on a variety of outfits and ended up walking out of the store with two large bags. We headed down the street to the next shop, and it was the same process all over again.
“Can I wear pink?” I asked, coming out of the dressing room wearing a loud pink top with swirls of blue. It looked very retro, but I knew it was all back in style.
“Yes!” Kali said, clapping her hands together. “I love that top. You look gorgeous. Pink definitely looks good on you. That top and a black pair of leggings with black boots would be great. Black is sexy, and when you wear it right, it looks fabulous on you. I love that you don’t look like an FBI agent anymore. I think our customers will be far more relaxed as well,” she teased.
Once out of the dressing room, I looked over the bags of clothing I had just purchased. “Now I need jeans,” I said. “I want jeans that make me look young and fun.”
“You are young and fun,” Kali reminded me.
“You’re right. I am now. I want to be that fun mom who can play on the toys at the playground. If I’m wearing high heels and slacks, that isn’t going to happen. Let’s go,” I said, carefully balancing the bags on my arms while fishing out my keys.
“I’ll be right out,” she called. “I can’t resist this top. I tried, but I have to get it.”
“Okay. I’ll be in the car,” I told her, managing to push open the door with my foot.
I knew where I had parked and was blindly headed that way while looking down at the bags I was shuffling around to try and get a better grip. I hit something hard, dropping one of the bags I had been barely holding onto. I could see feet pointing at me and knew I had just run into a man. I felt like an idiot.
I looked up to apologize, but the words became lost.
“You!” I blurted out at the same time he did.
I was staring into the face of Mason Chambers, again. I had gone twenty years without seeing him, and now it was like he was everywhere. Damn that bitch, Fate. She really had it out for me.
“I’m sorry,” we said at the same time.
I waited to see if he was going to say anything else before I opened my mouth to talk again. “I’m sorry. I was looking at my feet and not paying attention.”
“It’s okay. Here, let me help you with that,” he said, picking up the bag I had dropped in the collision.
“Thank you. I may have overestimated my ability to juggle,” I joked.
I peered up at those piercing green eyes framed by dark eyelashes. His brown hair was graying, giving him a mature, distinguished look. It wasn’t fair that men became more attractive as they aged. He was thin and lanky like I remembered. His jaw was a little more defined and his eyes had some wrinkles around the corners, but he was still handsome as hell.
“It’s fine. Where are you parked?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Here,” I said, aiming my key fob at my Mercedes.
The trunk popped open, and he put the bag inside before reaching and taking the other bags from my hands.
“Looks like you’ve been busy,” he said, eyeing the already full trunk.
I laughed. “Yes. A little retail therapy. Post-divorce shopping, I guess you could say.”
He smiled and nodded politely but didn’t appear to be in a joking mood.
“Thank you,” I repeated, “and I am really sorry I plowed into you like that.”
“It’s fine. Take care, Lara,” he said and walked away.
I stood there staring after him like an idiot. That was how Kali found me.
“Who was that?” she asked.
“My doctor. The ex who’s going to shoot a stranger’s sperm in my vagina,” I said dryly.
She laughed. “Well, he is more than welcome to get me pregnant anytime. I wouldn’t mind giving the old-fashioned way a try with him.”
I looked at her in horror. “He’s a doctor! You can’t talk about a doctor like that!”
“Doctors have sex, Lara. Judging by the looks of that doctor, I would say a lot of terrific sex. What’s he into?” she mused aloud.
“You’re terrible,” I muttered, slamming the trunk shut and getting into the driver’s seat.
Seeing him had rattled me. He had aged, but he was still the handsome boy who had taken my virginity all those years ago. My mind went to our last night together. His touch had been so gentle. I remembered how nervous he had been as we’d stripped naked. It had been his first time as well. It hadn’t been a fantastic sexual experience, but it had been sweet and special. After seeing him now, I knew all that nervousness would be gone. He looked like a pro. I imagined him fucking nurses in his office and having a slew of women visit his bed every night.
I shook off the image. I had been head over hills in love with him, and he had left me behind and never looked back. I had been so naive. I wouldn’t let those old feelings lead me to heartache again. Kali was right. It was evident by the way he carried himself that he was confident, arrogant, and probably had a string of women begging for his attention. I wouldn’t be one of them.