Chapter 19

Ashley

I knew it was wrong, but I got a great deal of satisfaction from telling him we were staying. I could see the shock and horror on his face. He wanted to ask but was too afraid. How could he ask about the farm when I had just gifted him with a son? That had been my plan. I’d wanted to throw him off, and I had. He’d been so smooth and calculating. He’d thought he had already won, but he hadn’t.

“Uh, so, are you going to be living at the farm?” he choked out.

I smiled again. “I am.”

He nodded. “Oh.”

I had to laugh. The whole situation was too good not to laugh. I had practically done cartwheels last night when I’d discovered I could save the farm. I had planned to go into the bank on Monday and take care of it without telling Brock a thing, but then the idea of telling him to his face popped into my head. That was too good to pass up.

“We’re going to be neighbors,” I said, poking him a bit more.

“You’re keeping the farm?”

He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the idea. “Yes.”

“How? How did you pull that off?” he asked, clearly not believing I had the means to do it.

I grinned. “I liquidated everything: my business, most of my stocks, and I am selling my loft. The bank has agreed to stop the foreclosure proceedings upon receiving the large chunk of money I’ll be paying Monday and the promise to pay off the remaining past-due amount once my loft sells, which will be soon.”

He was shaking his head. “Wow.”

“Yep.” I winked. “You’re stuck with me.”

His shock and joy turned into anger. I had expected it.

“It won’t last. You’ll get tired of living in a small town and pick up and run away again. You’re only doing this to get at me. Once your dad is back on his feet, you’re out of here. You know that. I certainly know that, and I’m sure your family knows that, too.”

I shrugged. His words didn’t bother me. There was nothing that could destroy my elation. I finally felt as if I were settled. This was my home. The farm was where I wanted to raise my son. It had taken some time, but I now knew I could be successful. Living here didn’t mean I could never take vacations or travel. This place would be my center.

“I’m sorry to tell you that isn’t the case at all. I’m staying, Brock. I’ve learned my lesson. I hurt a lot of people when I took off. I’m very sorry for that, but now I’m here to stay. Running away seemed like the right thing back then, but I’ve grown up a lot.”

He smirked. “We’ll see.”

“Brock, we need to be able to get along for Jasper’s sake. You don’t have to believe me—I don’t care if you do—but don’t be a dick. I want Jasper to know he has two loving parents who can make nice with each other. I’m not going to be fighting and arguing with you every step of the way. I hope you can be a grown-up and think of your son instead of holding on to the past,” I told him, trying to be nice, but he was starting to piss me off.

“Well, history is the best predictor of the future, right? I’ll feel better once we get a custody agreement in place. That way, when you decide to pick up and run, again, I will have a say in where you try to take Jasper.”

I bit back my anger, but I wouldn’t let him get me riled up.

“Fine. There’s something else I need to say.”

He rolled his eyes. “This should be good.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Knock it off.” I leaned in close and lowered my voice. “We can’t hook up anymore. We need to be able to have a relationship that isn’t dirtied up by sex.”

“Dirtied up? That’s a new way of putting it.”

“You know what I mean. Sex complicates things. We have to be civil, and I don’t want a sexual relationship giving either one of us the wrong idea about our relationship,” I said.

There was anger in his eyes. “Trust me, Ashley, I certainly don’t have the wrong idea. It was just sex. You really need to get over yourself.”

“Don’t be mad, Brock. You know we aren’t good for each other. Yes, we are still physically attracted to each other, but that could be a dangerous thing for us. I don’t want to fall into a relationship with you based on sex alone.”

“Got it. Any other bit of news you need to tell me? Any more rules about my life I should know about?” he asked, clearly pissed.

“Brock, please don’t be so angry. I want this to work. I am not trying to make your life difficult. I want to be able to talk to you without you thinking about sex or wringing my neck, which I can tell is exactly what’s on your mind right now,” I joked.

He didn’t find my humor funny. “Nope. What you are seeing here is complete disgust. I hate that you think you can dictate everything. You have this idea that you’re the center of whole damn universe.”

“Oh joy, you and Anna have bonded. Did she tell you what an evil sister I am?” I said in a whiny voice, meant to mimic the whining Anna had been doing since the moment I’d gotten home.

He shook his head. “Again, it’s all about you. I have to go. I have other things to do that, believe it or not, don’t involve you.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll sic your lawyer on me. I’ll be waiting. I do have a lawyer of my own if you want to do it that way. Personally, I think that will make matters worse and end up costing us a lot of money, but that’s up to you.”

He smirked. “Money going to be a problem?”

“Nope, because I am an excellent photographer and I can find work anywhere.”

He stood up from the table, still holding his coffee. “I have to go,” he repeated.

Instead of getting in his truck and leaving, he made his way to the small playground area. “Hey, Jasper, I’m leaving now, but I promise I’ll be seeing you real soon.”

Jasper climbed off the toy he had been on and gave Brock a big hug. Brock dropped to his knees and hugged him back. The sight warmed my heart. I prayed Brock’s anger would lessen and we could have a good relationship for the sake of our son. I wanted Jasper to feel loved by both of us and not like he had to tiptoe around us. Brock and I would be spending a lot of time in the same places, and starting off like this was not good. We needed to be friends, or at least tolerate each other.

It was hard to imagine we had once been so crazy in love and now he couldn’t stand to talk to me. I knew I had brought it on myself, but it still stung. Deep down, I felt a little something for the man who had fathered my child, but I couldn’t go down that road again. That had blown up in my face the first time. I wouldn’t do that to myself, to Brock, or to Jasper. It was best if we kept our distance.

Brock stalked by me without saying another word.

Jasper came over and crawled onto my lap. “I’m glad he’s my dad. He seems like a nice man. He promised to take me fishing one day soon.”

I smiled. “He did, did he? Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. I bet you Grandpa has a fishing pole you can use.”

Jasper pushed his glasses up his nose. “Maybe Grandpa can go with me and my dad.”

I bit back a laugh and my very adult retort. “Maybe, but not until Grandpa gets to feeling better,” I said instead, not wanting to burst his little bubble.

Another twinge of guilt hit me as I realized how badly I had destroyed family connections for Jasper. My dad and Brock were not on good terms because of what I had done. Before I’d taken off, the two had had a good relationship. They had been a lot like father and son. Jasper wouldn’t get the chance to have family get-togethers with all his family in one place. It was a little sad, but I knew it was more the norm these days than the odd case.

“You ready to go home?” I asked.

Jasper climbed off my lap, “Yep. We need to go help Grandpa move the circles.”

“Move the what?” I asked.

“The circles. The big sprinkler things out in the cornfield. Grandpa told me all about them and how we have to move them to make sure all the corn gets water,” he said with a great deal of authority.

I laughed. “Oh, okay. I think I better help then. That sounds like a big job.”

He nodded. “Yep. That’s why Grandpa asked if I could help him.”

“We have a lot of work to do, Jasper. I hope you’re going to help me get the farm and the house all fixed up,” I told him, thinking about how much work there was to be done.

It was a daunting task, but I was looking forward to the challenge. I decided to document the progress with pictures. The sheds needed fresh paint, as did the house. The porch could use some sprucing up, and I needed to make one of the rooms into a great room for Jasper.

“What color should we paint your room?” I asked.

He thought about it for a second. “Brown.”

I cringed, but it was his room after all. Maybe I could do a light brown with some blue. I smiled, thinking about our future on the farm. Jasper would finally have room to run and dig to his heart’s content. It was a great, safe place to raise a child. I wouldn’t have to be looking over my shoulder constantly, making sure he wasn’t talking to strangers or in danger of getting hit by someone on a speeding bike. I felt at peace with my decision. My dad had protested a great deal, but I’d assured him it was what I wanted. He had finally agreed and admitted he was happy to hear it.

Now I had to tell the rest of the family. I knew Leslie would be thrilled, but Anna and Hank would not be quite so excited. It was really none of their business. They could pitch fits if they wanted. I didn’t care. They didn’t have to worry about Dad or the farm any longer. I was back, and I would make sure everything was taken care of, me and Jasper.

I pulled into the driveway and looked over the farm with a fresh set of eyes. It was mine. I had a place to call home. I couldn’t wait to get started on the improvements. First I needed to pack up the loft. That was not a chore I was looking forward to, but the sooner I got it done, the sooner I could get back here and start settling in.

“Look! There’s Grandpa!” Jasper shouted from the back seat.

“I see him. What’s he holding?” I asked, squinting my eyes.

“It’s a sign, Mom.”

When we got close enough to read it, I had to fight back tears. My dad had made a sign that read “Welcome Home.”

I knew he was happy. I hoped this was what he needed to get him through this illness and back on his feet.