Chapter 25

Ashley

It was impossible to enjoy my meal with everyone staring at me. This had to be what animals in a zoo felt like when people gawked at them, pointing, laughing, and taking pictures of them doing what they normally did. I had a new understanding and compassion for the animals that hid in their dens. I wanted to hide as well.

I was thankful Jasper was oblivious to the stares and hushed voices around us. To me, it felt like we had been dropped in a bee hive and there was buzzing all around us. Some of these people were just as nasty as a horde of wasps. I wouldn’t put it past them to sting us if we got too close. Just like you were supposed to handle bees, I didn’t move. I didn’t pay attention to the horrible creatures threatening to sting me with their barbed words. I did my best and ignored them.

Brock and I both did our best to pretend everything was normal and kept up a running dialogue. I had a feeling an older kid would have seen through our ruse, but Jasper was too happy to be eating dinner with his dad to care. I was uncomfortable, but I faked it as best as I could. I had a feeling Brock knew. He knew me too well.

“You’re doing great,” he whispered.

Nodding, I blinked back my tears of frustration, hurt, and anger that the gossip mongers were causing. I appreciated his support and was glad it was him in this mess with me. He was being a true hero. Sitting here with the woman who had unceremoniously dumped him was a kind act. His simple choice to do so proved he was confident and sure of himself in a way he’d not been before. It made him more attractive to me. He didn’t care what anyone else thought.

“Thank you for sticking it out with me. I guess I forgot or didn’t realize the stir our eating dinner would cause. These people really need to get lives,” I said, shooting out a few glares to some of the worst oglers.

I looked to my left and saw one of my old school teachers watching us. Back when I was in school, she had been in her first year of teaching. I knew she was jealous. Brock was quite a catch and the teacher hated that he was with me. At least I assumed that was why she hated me so badly. She had never been fond of me anyway, and clearly she hadn’t changed her opinion judging by the way she was sneering. I raised an eyebrow, challenging her to say something, daring her to show people her true colors.

It was extremely frustrating and a little hurtful to be so openly judged by people who didn’t really know me or know what we had gone through. I felt a little guilty upon seeing people look at Brock with the same judgmental looks. I had made mistakes, no doubt, but not one of these people was perfect. I looked at Mrs. Johnson, a serial cheater. Everyone in town knew it, but she still pretended to be the perfect wife to her wealthy husband. If people wanted something to gossip about, all they needed to do was take a closer look at her life. How dare she look at me with such disdain? In my eyes, she was a much bigger sinner than me.

“How long you think?” Brock asked in a voice so low I could barely hear him.

“How long what?”

He looked at Jasper. “How long until someone comes right out and says it? You think anyone will ask us, or will they just gossip behind our backs?”

I laughed. I was glad he wasn’t taking this all too seriously. I knew the speculation over who Jasper was had to be running rampant. I didn’t do social media, but I had a feeling my son would be a star as people analyzed his features, trying to figure out who his daddy was.

“I’d say by the time we get home tonight, the phones will be blowing up all over town with people guessing about the situation. I think I’ll be staying at the farm for the next few days. I don’t think I have enough money set aside to spare any for bail,” I whispered in a conspiratorial voice.

Before Brock could respond, Jasper chimed in. “I like the farm. I want to stay there.”

Brock and I laughed.

“We are, hon, I promise,” I assured him.

I did my best to block out the prying eyes. This dinner was about Brock and Jasper getting to know one another. It had nothing to do with anyone else. The people around here had a bad habit of asking questions about things they had no business sticking their noses in. It was one of the many reasons I had run from this place all those years ago.

“Mom!” Jasper said nice and loud.

I could practically hear the gasps and the jaws hitting the floor. It was actually very satisfying, and I secretly enjoyed it.

“What do you need, Jasper?” I asked in a quiet voice.

“Did you bring my rocks?”

I reached for my purse and pulled out the small velvet pouch my dad had given him to store his favorite rocks. I handed it to him, and he greedily grabbed it before pulling it open.

“Look!” he said, pulling out rocks.

Brock smiled and leaned down with feigned enthusiasm to look at the rocks. Jasper filled Brock in on facts about the area. He had been pestering his poor grandpa for days. My dad humored him and had managed to get on the computer and use Google to search for answers. Jasper had committed it all to memory and was now doing the equivalent of a data dump on Brock. Even I was shocked by how much information he had retained. I had no idea if it was right, but he sure seemed to think so.

Brock was nodding and smiling, stunned at all the bits of information.

“You’re a really smart guy, Jasper,” Brock said. It was clear he meant every word.

The diner patrons had been intently watching the exchange between father and son. They couldn’t know for sure, but I had a feeling most of the people scrutinizing us had a pretty good idea about the connection between us.

“What’s your favorite food?” Brock asked Jasper.

The little boy thought about it for a second. “I like a lot of food, but right now grilled cheese is my favorite.”

Brock lit up. “That’s your mom’s favorite food, too.”

“Uh, no, it isn’t. I graduated from grilled cheese a long time ago.”

He looked a little disappointed. “Don’t tell me it’s sushi now,” he said with a grimace.

I laughed. “No, but I do like sushi from time to time. I think right now my favorite food is pizza, but not like Dominos or frozen pizza. I like the real deal, made in a brick fireplace with tons of chunky veggies on top.”

“Pizza is a good answer,” Brock said.

“Thanks. I was really worried you wouldn’t approve.”

We both laughed. It was nice hanging out with him and not fighting or arguing about custody or the farm.

“How about we walk down to the ice cream parlor and get some dessert?” Brock said, then obviously realized it may not have been the best choice. He looked at me. “Oops. Is that okay?”

“Yes. It’s fine. I’m not one of those moms. Jasper gets to have ice cream.”

“Whew,” he said, standing. “I’ll pay the check. Why don’t you two wait outside for me?”

I nodded, understanding he didn’t want to expose us to any more stares. I grabbed Jasper’s hand, threw my purse over my shoulder, and headed out with my head held high. Everyone seemed to be interested in their dinners as I passed by since I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

We waited outside by Brock’s truck, and when he came out, he was shaking his head.

“Did someone say something?”

“It doesn’t matter. Who wants ice cream?”

Jasper squealed with delight. He began to squirm, tugging his hand out of mine. I released it, assuming Brock and I could keep him reined in if needed.

We strolled down the street with Jasper bouncing along, talking a mile a minute.

“It’s nice out,” I commented.

“It is. It’s a perfect night for ice cream, too,” he said with a big grin.

Both of us were enjoying our time together. It was actually pleasant, and I wouldn’t mind doing it again. I hoped we could have many more nights like this. Jasper was in seventh heaven. The boy had been talking about Brock nonstop to anyone who would listen since the other day when I’d introduced him to his father.

We stopped and got ice cream cones, then headed out to eat them while strolling along Main Street. Brock pointed out the new businesses and we shared stories about the old ones. Jasper was eating it all up. He couldn’t believe we were once his age and in this same town, visiting the same places. In his eyes, we had been born sometime when the dinosaurs roamed the earth.

We made our way back down the street to where our trucks were parked outside the diner. It was after eight and Jasper was fading fast. The sugar rush from the ice cream had peaked and he was crashing.

“We should get going,” I said, a little bummed that the night was coming to an end. I hoped Brock would ask us to dinner again. I knew I had basically forced him into taking me along, but hopefully he liked my company and would want to do it again.

Jasper walked to the passenger side of the truck and crawled into the back seat of the extended cab. Brock deftly fastened the seatbelt around him, checked to make sure it was snapped in place, and then kissed Jasper on the top of his head.

Jasper grabbed Brock’s face with his hands and kissed him on the cheek. I looked away, not wanting either of them to see the tears welling in my eyes. I walked to the driver’s side and climbed in. I, too, was suddenly feeling quite tired. It had been a long past few days at the farm, and it was catching up with me.

Brock came to the driver’s side door.

I rolled the window down. “Thank you. I had a really good time. Jasper did, too.”

He leaned in and kissed my cheek. It was sweet and innocent and, sadly, a little platonic.

“I had a really nice time as well. Can we do it again sometime soon?”

“I’d like that.”

“I’ll call you?”

I nodded.

He stood back as we drove away. I watched in the rearview mirror and felt all warm and fuzzy. It had been a long time since I had felt that way about Brock. About any man, really. I had closed myself off from men in general after learning I was pregnant. I had dated a few, but never entered into any real relationships. Brock had always held a special place in my heart, and I’d never found a way to evict him.

Now I was actually glad about that. It was a strange feeling and one that I wanted to explore further. I had a feeling he felt the same way. Now we needed to figure out whether it was a good idea to go down this road again. We had to think about Jasper. It would be selfish to put him through a nasty breakup if things didn’t work out.

It was too much to try to decide at the moment, though. I would sleep on it and mull it over. Right now, my focus was on my dad and Jasper. They were my priorities and had to stay that way.