Chapter 17
Lara
I was an idiot. He had fucked me senseless. That could be the only explanation. My brain was scrambled in the best way. I didn’t know it was possible to get your mind rattled during a rather exuberant sex session, but I was living proof that it could happen. I didn’t regret the sex, but I regretted my inability to speak like a normal human.
I had told the man—who had just gone down on me—I wanted a baby. Not only wanted, but was spending money to get one. It was going to be baby and me, and there would be no three.
I wasn’t personally familiar with the dating scene, but I was pretty sure that was still a sure-fire way to scare a man off. It wasn’t like he didn’t know, but I think hearing me say I wanted to get pregnant while in a relationship with him, but not pregnant by him, was a turn-off. He hadn’t seemed all that pleased by my revelation.
It was a very odd situation indeed.
“I’m sorry. This is a bizarre conversation to have after fabulous sex,” I said, feeling foolish.
He shrugged. “Not so weird considering how we met. I have heard a similar version of this conversation, but usually I’m wearing my white coat and looking very doctorly.”
“I want a baby. I know that sounds totally crazy, but I want a baby more than I want a man. Does that make sense?”
“It does, but I don’t think you should take the man option completely off the table. I’m a good man,” he said with a big smile. “Want me to show you how good?” he teased.
“You’re bad.” I leaned up and kissed him before resting my face on his bare chest. I couldn’t believe I was lying naked on the floor in my dining room with Mason Chambers.
I started giggling.
He groaned. “Not again.”
“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every time we have sex, I end up feeling all giggly.”
“Giddy, you mean. I think I like that. It’s different, but I’m okay with different,” he said, trailing his fingers up my arm.
“Did you ever think we would be here—like this?”
“No. Never. I wanted it, but I didn’t think I would ever get the chance to be with you. I thought I had burned that bridge, blown it to bits and then bulldozed the pieces.”
I giggled again. “That’s extreme. I’m glad it happened.”
“Glad enough to see me again?”
“Yes, but I don’t want your baby.”
“Ouch. That’s kind of rough and maybe a little early to call, don’t you think?” he asked in what I hoped was a teasing manner.
I sighed. “You know what I mean. I don’t want your sperm. I don’t want to have your baby unless that was my only option. Then I would be cool with your baby. I think you would make very cute babies,” I said, realizing I was only making the situation far worse. “I should stop talking.”
He chuckled. “I get it. It would be very odd for me to take you out once and ask you to have my baby.”
I moved to stand up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me against his chest. He cradled me against him. His arms protectively held me, making me feel secure and cared for. It was an odd sensation that I was unfamiliar with.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled against his bare chest. “I’m crazy. I have issues, and I don’t want to bring all this baggage to you. You are a good guy, Mason. I truly believe that, but I feel like I’m damaged goods. What if you get with me and realize the girl you loved back then is gone and in her place is this crazy woman with a severe case of baby fever and a biological clock that is screaming for attention?”
“You’re not crazy. We all have some baggage. Baggage is what makes us unique. It adds character. Oh, and I love babies. Hell, I made it my mission in life to bring more babies into this world. I love my job, and I love seeing the healthy babies that are born to loving parents because I was able to help them.”
He was a good guy. I knew that. I loved that he helped women like me who would otherwise never get to have a child of their own.
“You’re a good egg, Mason. Really, you are, and you seem to have your shit together. I can’t say the same. I would hate to bring you down. You are a successful doctor. How are you not married?” I blurted out.
He started laughing. His voice vibrated through his chest and moved my head up and down as he did.
“You couldn’t bring me down,” he said, squeezing me again. “And I’m not married because I never found the right woman for me. I always assumed I would know when I met her. I haven’t met her. I don’t think,” he added in a quiet voice.
I moved my hand to his chin, leaned up on my elbow, and gently kissed him. “You’ll know. I hope. I would like to say I knew when I married Mitchel, but honestly, I didn’t. I had hoped I would eventually feel that way, but I never did, and, well, you know how it ended.”
“What happened?” he asked. I debated how much to tell him, but he was a friend as well as a lover. I didn’t mind talking about my failed marriage if he was willing to listen.
“Honestly, I think it was wrong from the very beginning, but over the past couple of years, things got worse. I wanted a baby. He always said it wasn’t the right time in our lives. Then he started to tell me I was crazy for wanting a baby when our lives were so good as they were.”
“It isn’t out of the ordinary to want children. I’ll help you get a baby, Lara, by any means necessary. We can do the artificial insemination or IVF, or, you know, there are other more natural ways to get pregnant,” he said, jerking his hips upward.
This time I pushed away from him and managed to get to my feet before he could stop me. I stood up and stared down at him, not feeling the least bit self-conscious about my nudity. “Have you lost your damn mind?”
He blinked. “What?”
I watched as he stood up, shaking my head the whole time and backing away from him. He grinned at me. It was that same goofy grin I remembered from our younger years. He could always make me laugh, even when I was mad at him. All he had to do was flash that silly grin. I knew he knew exactly what he was doing. Girls in school would practically fall at his feet when he blessed them with one of those megawatt smiles.
He snaked his arm out and pulled me into his chest again. “I was only offering a suggestion. I could save you a lot of money and countless doctor visits.”
I slapped his bare chest and headed for my bathroom. I grabbed my pajamas and slipped them on. I didn’t see him in the dining room when I came out and assumed he was in the guest bathroom. I decided I needed a drink after that. It wasn’t like I was pregnant yet and one drink wasn’t going to hurt my fertility.
I poured two glasses of wine and headed back into the living room. I had promised him a drink after all. When I returned, he was dressed.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, again. It seems to be a habit of mine.”
I handed him the glass of wine. “It’s okay, but you can’t joke around about stuff like that. Me getting pregnant is very serious business.”
“I know that, which is why I offered my services, in a very non-clinical manner.”
“Mason,” I warned.
“Lara, it isn’t like we don’t know each other. People who know less about each other than us have babies all the time. At least we have a pretty good idea of what the other likes and dislikes. We have history.”
“Which is exactly why we can’t have a baby together. It would be together. I don’t want to share my baby. I want it to be mine. I don’t want the baby to be a burden or something that ties anyone down,” I explained.
He shook his head. “You’re imposing someone else’s issues on me. I’m not like that.”
I groaned in frustration. “Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you are. Have you ever gotten anyone pregnant before?”
“No!”
“Then you can’t know how you will respond. I don’t want to put that kind of responsibility on anyone. We don’t even know if we are compatible. I certainly don’t want to try to co-parent with someone who doesn’t share my values and beliefs.”
“It isn’t like we couldn’t talk about this stuff. Lara, you have to know there are some risks of you having multiples with the hormone therapy and the insemination process. Are you ready for two, three, or even more babies at once?”
I tried not to flinch, but hearing him say it was a little alarming. “I know the risks.”
“Do you? I think you are so desperate for a child, you are overlooking some of the facts about the choice you have made. I’m not saying not to do it, but I am saying you need to be sure.”
“I don’t want a baby with you, Mason. I want to keep this part of my life separate from the other,” I explained.
He looked at me as if I had slammed my head into a wall. “Really? You don’t think this part of your life has anything to do with the other part of your life?” He gestured between our two lower bodies.
“You know what I mean!”
He gave me that same irresistible grin. “I don’t think I do, because this part of my body,” he said, cupping his dick through his jeans, “could make this part of you pregnant.” He reached out and placed his hands between my legs. “I wouldn’t mind a bit helping you. I could be excellent help.”
The man was persuasive, but I had thought long and hard about this and knew what I wanted. “I can’t,” I whispered. “I like this”—I reached out and grabbed his dick, causing him to moan low in his throat—“but I don’t want to ruin it by having something go wrong between us.”
He stared at me, those eyes reaching into my very soul. “Fine. The offer still stands if you change your mind, Lara.”
“Thank you.”
He walked to the door. I took his still full glass of wine and gave him a quick kiss before he left. “Good night,” he said and walked away.
I locked the door behind him, took the full glasses to the kitchen, and poured the wine down drain. Later in bed, I lay wide awake, wondering how in the world my life had gotten so strange.
I’d had sex with an extremely attractive man who asked to impregnate me. I’d told him no because I preferred a random stranger to get me pregnant instead so I never had to know the father of my child. Totally normal.