Chapter 6
Mason
I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I was so anxious I could hardly sit still. Lara was scheduled to come to the clinic to start her hormone therapy today. I didn’t technically need to be involved in the appointment, and I rarely attended these routine visits, but I wanted to today. I had to see her.
I was a nervous wreck, and I had a feeling it showed.
“Are you okay?” Junie asked as she passed by my office.
“Fine. Why?”
“You’re acting like a caged animal in here.”
I smiled. “Sorry. Had some stuff on my mind and needed to walk off the energy. I figured if I paced the waiting room or the halls, the patients might get nervous.”
She nodded her head, but I could tell she wasn’t buying my story. “I’m going to shut this and leave you to your privacy,” she said, grabbing my office door and gently closing it.
I was acting ridiculous. Lara was just a woman. I had no problem flirting with women, and I certainly never had to try all that hard to convince a woman to give me her number or come home with me.
I knew Lara would not be that easy. She didn’t like me. I could feel that, and really, I couldn’t blame her for hating me. I had been a real dick back then. I had taken her virginity and then disappeared. She had called numerous times, and I’d always ignored her. I had treated her like shit, and I had no reason to think she would want anything to do with me now.
If only things had been different. If only Brian had not been such a protective jerk and demanded I stayed away from his sister. Would we be together now? Would we be happily married? Sadly, we’d never know because Brian was a dick and I had been too much of a coward to fight back.
A knock on the door stopped my musings.
“Yes?”
Junie opened it a few inches and popped her head in. “Your ten o’clock is here. You said you wanted to be involved in the appointment.”
“Thanks. I’ll be right there,” I said, feeling that little stirring of excitement again.
I straightened my jacket and then headed out of the office and to the exam room Lara was waiting in.
“Hi,” I greeted her.
I was taken aback by her presence. She looked like a completely different woman. The somber, sad woman I had seen last week was gone. In her place was a woman who appeared confident and happy. It wasn’t only her clothing that was different. It was her entire presence. She was wearing a bright pink and blue top that looked like it was made of satin paired with a brilliant blue skirt of satin and a sheer material.
“You look great,” I said, regretting it the moment the words crossed my lips. It was inappropriate, but I hadn’t been able to hold back my opinion.
“Thank you,” she said with a brilliant smile.
I sat down on the rolling stool and pulled up her chart. Junie breezed in carrying a tray with the injection we would be administering today.
“How was the remainder of your shopping trip?” I asked her pleasantly.
“It was great. Very successful.” She grinned.
I nodded and smiled politely. “I hope you left some things for the other women of the city,” I teased.
She giggled and blushed. It reminded me of the girl I knew so long ago. I liked the woman sitting in front of me a lot more than the woman I had met last week. It was a complete transformation.
“It was a necessary shopping trip. Hopefully, this all works and I will be going shopping again soon for maternity clothes. And then baby clothes!”
Junie chuckled. “Now that’s what I call fun!”
“Okay, so, we’re going to be doing the hormone injection. We’ll check your levels in a couple weeks, and if all goes well, we’ll do the first insemination,” I said with more excitement than I felt.
“Sounds good. I’m ready.”
“First, let’s give you a quick checkup,” I said, rolling to her and putting my hands on her throat to feel her glands.
Junie handed me my tools, and I quickly checked her ears and noticed blue specks on her neck and ears. “What’s this?” I asked, moving closer to inspect the spots.
“What?”
“Blue spots?” I said, not sure if it was internal or external. I brushed my thumb over the area, and she shuddered.
“Paint.”
“What?” I asked, rubbing my thumb over the area again.
“Paint. I painted my condo. Blue, as you can see,” she said, putting her hand to her neck, touching my fingers in the process.
I chuckled and pushed away from her a bit. I needed to put some distance between us. Touching her and inhaling her scent was making me crazy.
“Well, it is a nice color,” I said, at a bit of a loss for words.
“I like it.”
It was apparent the woman was on a mission to color her life. As much as I wanted to help her get her wish to have a baby, I needed to make sure she was emotionally ready for the responsibility of a baby.
“Lara,” I asked, pushing farther away from her, “have you sought out any kind of counseling since your divorce and the miscarriage?”
She glared at me and then started laughing. Junie and I exchanged a look.
When she didn’t answer, I proceeded with my standard lecture. “Stress can impact your hormone levels and your ability to conceive. It’s advisable you seek out counseling from a grief counselor or a therapist. If you do conceive, you need to understand your hormones are going to be even more out of whack. This may not be the best time to get pregnant.”
Junie looked at Lara with sympathy and nodded her head, agreeing with my advice.
“I’m fine. I promise you I am not having mental issues or on the verge of a breakdown,” she said with a forced smile.
I nodded. It was a nod I had perfected over the years when I needed to deliver bad news.
She didn’t buy it. In fact, she looked like she wanted to rip my head off. I bit back the smile that threatened to spread across my face. This was the Lara I remembered, young and willful and a fighter. She wanted this, and she was going to fight for it. Good. I needed to see that in her.
“I’m not crazy. Look, I am completely sane. I am stable. I can handle a baby. I painted my condo. I bought new clothes. I didn’t shave my head or buy a horse. You would have to know me to understand why I did what I did. I don’t need counseling. If you are not comfortable moving forward with this process, tell me now and I will find another doctor,” she said in a slightly haughty tone.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or imply anything. It is something we ask all our patients. I am more than happy to move forward with this process.”
Junie put a hand on Lara’s shoulder. “I think it’s great. You look very pretty, dear, and I know what you’re going through—somewhat. I’ve been divorced. I know what it means to get rid of the old and usher in the new.”
I silently thanked Junie for her wisdom. I had really stepped in it.
“Okay then. Are we ready?” I asked.
“Definitely!” Lara said.
We went over what to expect and signs she needed to call us. I left the room, leaving Junie to administer the shot.
The rest of the day passed by in a blur. In between patients, my mind drifted to Lara. I had done some charity work at a women’s shelter in my early years. She reminded me a bit of the women I had treated for various injuries caused by domestic abuse. While she didn’t appear to be physically abused, I wondered if she had been abused in other ways.
“What has you so flustered?” Junie asked, walking into my office.
“I’m not flustered,” I shot back.
“Mason, I have been working with you for too long. I know you. Spill it. If I had to guess, I would say it was our first patient of the day. Am I right?”
I sighed, not sure how much I wanted to tell her, but I knew I had to give her a reason or she would keep prodding.
“I knew her brother when I was in high school. We were best friends.”
She nodded her head, encouraging me to go on.
“Lara and I, we had a thing. Nothing big. She still had two years left in school when I left for college. I haven’t seen her since. Her brother and I lost contact more than ten years ago,” I said.
“Aw, the one that got away,” she said in a voice filled with wisdom.
I laughed. “I don’t know that it was all that serious, but it was definitely a crush.”
She was grinning like a fool.
“Junie, do you think she was the victim of some kind of domestic abuse?” I blurted out.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. If you’re referring to her changing up her clothes and painting her house, that’s pretty normal I believe.”
I nodded, hoping she was right. “Good. I mean, I hate to think of any woman going through something so awful.”
“I think she is fine. She seems like she has it together. Maybe you can ask her? You said you were friends once. Ask her out for coffee and find out yourself.”
“Junie! I can’t do that! She’s a patient.”
“You can give her case to another doctor. It’s a routine case. She doesn’t need your expertise.”
She had a valid point.
“I can’t. It was only healthy curiosity, a walk down memory lane. I cared about her once, but that was a long time ago.”
Junie stared at me for several long seconds. “Keep telling yourself that. Did you need anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“I’m done for the day. There aren’t any more patients coming in. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good night, Junie.”
I plopped down in my chair and spun around a few times. It was weird that I knew just about every little detail about Lara but I didn’t actually know her. There was a giant twenty-year gap. I wanted to know everything. Who had been her husband? What did she do for a living? Did she go to college?
I was desperate for information. I couldn’t go about finding out the traditional way. Or could I? Junie had given me a perfectly reasonable way out of the doctor-patient thing. I should take it. It would probably be for the best. But what if Lara didn’t want anything to do with me on a personal level? What if I made a move to get to know her and she rebuffed me? That would be mortifying. I wasn’t sure I could handle her rejection. My ego was very healthy, but even I could admit there was a good chance she would tell me to get lost. I knew I had broken her heart all those years ago and hadn’t even been man enough to apologize.
“Dammit!” I stood up in frustration.
The woman was in my head, and I couldn’t get her out. I wasn’t used to being so preoccupied with a woman. It was an odd feeling. I wasn’t sure I liked it. It made me feel edgy, like I had an itch I couldn’t quite scratch. She was under my skin, and I needed to find a way to shake her.