THE NEXT MORNING we woke up late. At my request, we showered together. I’d reverently washed every beautiful inch of her, and she’d returned the favor. When she finished with me, I sat her on the bench and dropped to my knees so I could make her come with my lips and my tongue while I jerked myself off. As I came, she bent over and rubbed the tip of my cock to gather cum. I had watched in awe as she lifted her fingers and sucked them into her mouth, my only response a tortured groan. Leaning forward, I dropped my head into her lap and tried to get myself under control as she gently scratched my back. She was ruining me for anyone but her, and she didn’t even realize it.
I could feel it as it happened, and I didn’t think I’d ever be the same. She was wrapping herself around my mind and heart, working her way into a spot in my soul I was coming to suspect was there just for her.
Tessa had been blissed out after the shower, but I was uptight. The clock was winding down on our time together, and it showed I needed to have her to the airport in three hours. I finally found an amazing girl and now three thousand miles were going to separate us. There was no fucking way I was staying away from her for four weeks, but we were going to miss a lot of time together no matter what I did.
Once we were both dressed, I took her to brunch at a local hole in the wall I ate at all the time. I’d considered taking her to my dad’s for lunch omelets, but I didn’t feel like sharing her, which was another first for me. Normally I didn’t give a shit who was around, and I generally liked people to distract the girls I was with so they wouldn’t cling. With Tessa, I wanted to be off the grid so I threw my cell phone in my glove compartment because I didn’t want anything to disturb us. We had a great meal together and as I was coming to expect, the conversation flowed perfectly.
All too quickly, brunch was over and it was time to take her back to the Mondrian to get the rest of her luggage. The drive to LAX passed by far too quickly, and the next thing I knew, I was dropping her at the curb. Gone were the days when you could take your friend to the gate and hang out until departure. Now, you drop and run. Suddenly, I deeply hated that shit. Why the fuck couldn’t I linger with her?
Throwing on my LA Kings hat and a pair of sunglasses, my handy ‘don’t notice me’ disguise, I got out of the car and took her luggage out.
After I tipped the skycap for getting her bags onto his cart, I pulled her into my arms for a kiss. Time stood still as we devoured each other, our kiss fierce and desperate. Clearly, neither of us wanted to separate from the other. I was so keyed up that I almost punched the skycap in the face when he discreetly coughed to break us apart.
“I’m sorry sir, but they are going to ticket you if you don’t move your car. This area is for drop off only. You can’t dilly-dally.”
Letting out an aggravated sigh, I stepped back. Keeping my eyes on hers, I smiled as I rubbed her lips with my thumb.
“Call me when you get home. I’m going to miss you like fucking crazy.”
Smiling shyly at me, she ran her fingers over my cheek. “I’ll miss you, too. I’ll call as soon as I get home.”
With one last quick kiss, she was gone. My heart hurt as I watched her walking away, a sight I didn’t enjoy in the least. I was brought out of my reverie when a cop pulled up behind my car and honked. With a shake of my head, I got into my car and left.
At the first red light, I checked my phone and saw I had four messages. The first one was from my manager, while the last three were from my dad. He didn’t sound like himself at all. Not upset, exactly, but completely shattered. All his messages said he needed to talk to me right away, and preferably in person. I panicked as I imagined the worst. What if he was sick, or if one of my grandparents was hurt? My palms started to sweat as I broke damn near every law of responsible driving to get to my dad’s house as quickly as humanly possible.
The sight of his Mercedes in the driveway calmed me down a bit, but I was still a nervous wreck.
I was out of my car the second I had it in park, running into the house at top speed.
“Dad? Dad! Where are you?”
My steps came to an abrupt halt when I found him in the living room. He was sitting on the couch with his elbows propped on his knees, his head held in his hands. I’d not seen my dad so undone since my mother died, and it scared the piss out of me. My heart was beating so loudly I was surprised the room wasn’t shaking with the vibration.
“Shit, dad, what’s wrong?”
He jerked his head up, surprised to see me standing over him. That scared me even more than how dejected he seemed, because I’d made a lot of noise coming into the house. Whatever he needed to tell me, it was serious. My mind was operating at warp speed as I tried to prepare myself for what was coming. I didn’t know what I’d do if he told me he was sick, or if something was wrong with my grandparents.
“Oh Flynn… I’m so goddamn sorry.”
“Dad, you’re literally scaring me to death. What the hell is going on?”
Shaking his head and wiping his eyes, my dad gestured to the spot on the couch next to him. “You need to sit down, son. I need to tell you something.”
I dropped onto the sofa like it was the electric chair. He was scaring the bejesus out of me.
“Dad, are you sick? Gram and Pop, are they okay?”
Grabbing my hand, he squeezed. “We’re all fine, everyone is healthy. I’m sorry—I should have said so in my message. That’s not what this is about.”
His words calmed me down, but not as much as they needed to. Serious health issues not withstanding, something was still upsetting my dad, and I needed to know what.
“I need you to listen to me son, and don’t ask questions until I’m finished. If you’re angry, you can yell at me then. Just let me get this out.”
I nodded my agreement, even as I wondered why my dad would think I could ever be angry with him.
“It was agony to watch the love of my life die, and I don’t think there was anything anyone else could have done or said to help me prepare for what it did to me inside. Every day for two years, I watched Rachel get weaker, watched the cancer eat away at her body. Do you remember the times we couldn’t share a bathroom with her or really touch her much because of the chemo?”
I’d been so young when she died. I’d long since forgotten some of the details surrounding the slow and painful end. His question triggered a memory of just how awful it had been. I nodded as I sighed. “Yeah.”
“It was a bitter pill to swallow. I lived to touch that woman, and then it was taken away. I saw the end coming for her and I knew nothing we did was going to make any difference. I lived with the guilt every day. I wondered if I’d have been able to appear stoic if she would have stopped letting them dose her with things that were killing her from the inside out. We left no stone unturned and no treatment avenue was unexplored. I would have thrown myself in front of a truck to save her, given up my own life in return for hers, but cancer didn’t care. It took her anyway, and it left me behind to live a life without the woman I loved. Part of my heart went down into that grave with her. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d have done something drastic so I could be with her again. You were a living reminder of our love, and it kept me alive. If I’d been a better man, it would have been enough. Instead, I went off the fucking rails.”
I had no idea where he was going with all of this, but he was really freaking me out. As a rule, my dad didn’t curse in front of me, especially not the F word. That alone meant he was really upset.
“I basically left you with Gram and Pop for a few months. I was drowning, Flynn, and I swear to God, I regret my failure as a father every day of my life. I let my wife down by being a shit parent to the only part of her I had left. I should have been thanking God for at least giving me a piece of her to look at forever, but instead I focused on what I didn’t have. I was crazy angry, bitter, and drunk. Luckily for all of us, Gram sat me down and gave me the business. Pop also gave it to me with both barrels. By the time they were finished with me, I had no delusions about what a pathetic waste I was becoming, or about how heartbroken your mother would be about how much I was letting you down. They scared me straight, and our lives benefited greatly. I’ve spent the years since trying my hardest to make up for the lapse in my sanity, and until today, I thought it wasn’t something we were ever going to need to discuss.”
Taking a deep breath, he plowed on. “John brought a woman here to talk to me this morning. She’s the sister of a woman I hooked up with after your mother died. What happened back then was nothing meaningful at all—just a sexual relationship. It went hand in hand with the drinking. I just was so fucking desperate to be touched again, to feel anything. Today I found out that my shit judgment led to that woman getting pregnant. She had twins, Flynn. I’ve got two daughters who are almost twenty-three. Or, I think I do. The woman, her name was Connie, was loose. She’s dead now, and so is the man they thought fathered the twins. The woman John brought here today, Sandra, has raised the girls for the last twelve years. Sandra requested a paternity test before we take this any further, but she also said the girls have my eyes. She’s pretty damn sure that they’re mine.”
I was stunned to know I could have sisters. I couldn’t tell if my dad was happy about it or not, but what I did know was I wasn’t upset about what happened after my mom died. My dad was human, and I would never fault him for it.
“Dad, I’m not mad at you, don’t be ridiculous. Right now I’m trying to figure out how John got involved, and how you’re feeling about all this? If they’re yours, do you want to meet them?”
He looked so upset, and I wondered what was bothering him about it. My dad loved being a father, and I couldn’t believe having two more children would be any kind of a burden to him.
Taking a deep breath he asked, “Would it be okay with you if I wanted to meet them?”
Christ on a crutch, he thought I would be pissed if he wanted to meet them! He couldn’t be more wrong. “Jesus! Dad, of course it would be okay. You’re acting like you just told me you were in jail for murder. You’re my father and I love you. I know better than most about using sex and alcohol as numbing agents. Personally, if they are yours, I’d like to meet them. The call is ultimately yours, but that’s how I feel.”
Before I even had the sentence finished, my dad had his arms around me tight. “I love you so much, son. I can’t tell you how relieved I am you’re okay with all of this. I was scared I was going to lose you, too.”
Realizing he had been scared of that gutted me. Hugging him hard, I told him how I felt. “Dad, you’re tops in my book, no matter what. You’re the best dad in the world and you’re never going to lose me, ever. I love you.”
The two of us spent the next hour hugging it out and getting our shit together. I’m not ashamed to say that a few tears were shed, but being the men that we were, we kept it to a dull roar.
When we finished our male bonding, dad explained the rest of the story to me. The aunt of the girls who were likely my father’s daughters was the VP of Hart International, the firm that had built my manager’s house, hence John bringing Sandra to my dad’s house. Apparently, the whole sordid tale about my dad and the woman—who had turned out to be married—had come out just a few days ago because someone was threatening to blackmail the Hart family with the information. My dad was most upset that the blackmailers were threatening to release a video of him having sex with the twins’ mother. He feared that it would hurt me, which was what the blackmailers were relying on. The truth was that I didn’t care about the tape as it related to my career; I only cared about my dad.
“I’m going to give my DNA tomorrow for the paternity test. Will you come with me?”
“Dad, of course I’ll come with you. In fact, let’s hang out tonight. I’ll spend the night and we can leave from here in the morning.”
The look of relief on his face showed me in no uncertain terms how much he needed me to step up and be his rock. He’d always been mine, and it was my turn to return the favor.