THERE IS NO man who has ever made me feel the way Gavin does. With every passing day the reasons why become more and more apparent. I can hardly wrap my mind around him caring so much about me missing being outdoors that he rented a house with a mammoth backyard for one night.
After we spent about an hour on the trampoline we set up camp on the lawn with a pile of blankets and pillows to watch the two episodes of Under the Dome I missed since coming on the tour. I didn’t want to watch them until I got him caught up on the series so we spent the last few days watching the first few episodes and this has been our first chance. Lying here wrapped in his arms with my head on his chest I realize I really and truly am the happiest I’ve ever been. And I do mean ever.
Even what some might consider his annoying habits, constantly drumming on things, answering the Jeopardy questions before the whole thing has been read aloud, are funny and just a part of what makes him who he is. Spending time in what I think of as our Gavin and Leah bubble has taught me so much about him. He loves classic rock, has to check in on CNN several times a day, emails his sister random ecards whenever he finds one particularly funny, and he’s a great friend to his band mates and management team.
Over the course of the last few weeks I’ve learned sad things about Gavin too. When he was younger his mother doted on him but after she had his sister, something changed. He says knowing what he knows now he suspects postpartum depression or something similar but at the time no one was talking about things like that so it was never diagnosed. He’s told me his mother hated having to deal with his sister and his father was so desperate to keep her happy they hired round-the-clock nannies.
Hearing him talk about what it was like to have his mother turn on him made me nauseous and when he told me what happened when she died and his father killed himself—I could barely contain my temper. Having him confide it all to me answered pretty much any question I ever had about why he was so angry with me the morning after I vomited all over him.
I wasn’t surprised to learn that Gavin took the role of big brother seriously and he’s been there for his sister every step of the way. He talks about Gabrielle in the most glowing of terms and it makes me think about how Dillon—and now my other brothers—likely talk about me when I’m not around.
Snuggling deeper into his arms I focus on watching the last few minutes of Under the Dome. As soon as it’s over he asks, “Babe are you up for swimming or do you want to go to bed? We’ve got the tent or a bedroom in the house, it’s up to you.”
It’s a hard decision. Because of the tour we’ve become night owls so we’ve been going to sleep around dawn each day. It’s well after three in the morning and although I love being outside, the idea of sleeping in a tent doesn’t really appeal, especially not when the sun will be coming up in a few hours.
“I hope you’re not disappointed but I really don’t want to sleep in the tent. I’d feel weird, like people could hear us because you know we’re going to end up… you know.”
You know is my way of saying fooling around. We’ve worked up to him being naked while he makes love to me with his tongue and hands every night and I’m now able to touch and stroke him, but I haven’t given him a blowjob yet. I’ve been working up to it and I had planned to try tonight, but I’m not doing it in a tent where security might hear.
He laughs as he rolls over on top of me, pinning my arms above my head and staring down at me as he continues to chuckle.
“Babe, do you really imagine for one second I would ever let anyone see, hear or be anywhere near you when you’re naked? I’m a pretty relaxed guy but make no mistake about it, you belong to me. Your moans, your sighs and the sound you make in your throat right before you come? All mine. No one else gets any part of that.
I’m stunned for a heartbeat or two, but then can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.
“Gavin Wilde, did you just go alpha on me?”
Rocking against me so I feel his hardness pressing against my cleft, he lets out a harsh laugh. “Where you’re concerned babe, yes, I am one hundred percent alpha.”
All of the romance books I read are about alpha males and while I’ve always enjoyed them, I never fully understood the draw of having a man claim you as his. My nipples have beaded up and my core is clenching to beat the band, so I’d say it’s a safe bet Gavin claiming me is a turn on.
I wonder if being an alpha has always been his way. For the first time since the tour started, my mind flashes back to the day on the plane when we were talking about Fifty Shades.
“You never answered my question that first day on the plane. Do you have a red room of pain at home?”
He laughs so hard it makes me start laughing too, just because seeing him let go makes me happy.
When he finally stops he says, “I forgot about that! No, there’s no room of pain at my house. I’ve played with toys and I’m open to do most things but it isn’t something I think about or desire to be on the menu often. You never have to worry I’ll make you do any of that shit, babe. I know trust is an issue for you.”
He’s correct. Trust is an issue for me, but not with him. It hits me even if he had told me he had bondage stuff at home, I wouldn’t really have blinked an eye. There are very few men in the world I know absolutely for certain care about me and will never hurt me or lay a hand on me in anger, the list consists of my brothers, Gavin and his band.
Pulling my hand out of his grasp I reach up and touch his cheek. “If you had said you were into it, I would have been okay. My trust issues don’t apply to you Gavin, because absolutely one hundred percent with no hesitation, I know that I’m safe with you.”
The way he’s looking at me right now is so intense it’s making me feel dizzy. I sense he wants to say something so I stay quiet and wait for him to speak.
“When Tally is caught, I don’t want you to go home,” he says in a rush. “I want you to stay. I know it’s a lot to ask, I know it would change your entire life, I know you miss your job, and I know touring isn’t ideal, but the idea of you going home makes me sick. No matter what we’re staying together and I’ll do the long-distance thing if you have to go, but I want you with me.”
I’m stunned he just laid that all out on the line, but more I am ecstatic that he feels the way I do. I’ve been dreading the idea of leaving him.
Bringing my other hand up, I lay my hands on either side of his face and look him in the eye. “Yes,” I say firmly. “I’ll stay. The idea of being separated doesn’t sit well with me either.”
He responds by leaning in and kissing me so deeply I can barely think. By the time he ends the kiss my breath is coming in gasps and it’s clear we’re both ready for bed. After standing up, he holds out his hand to me and I take it so he can pull me up.
I love how we don’t need to fill the silence with a lot of unnecessary words, and I enjoy the calm quiet as we make our way into the house and up the stairs in search of the master bedroom. It doesn’t take long to find it and when we walk in, my eyes almost bulge in my head.
The room is enormous, easily the size of my apartment, and the bed is the biggest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s an enormous, four-poster, wooden, canopy-style bed that’s at least the size of two king beds put together, and there are long curtains all around the bed. I have the urge to jump on it, probably because we just rocked the trampoline like a couple of crazy kids, but the wooden canopy top makes that impossible.
Turning to look at Gavin I find he’s watching me with a grin on his face. “Like what you see Little Reader?”
“Oh my God yes! It’s like a little city.”
“True,” he agrees, “but it seems kind of a waste when you consider when we’re sleeping we probably only take up the size of a twin bed.”
That makes me laugh because it’s true. We sleep cuddled together every night and it’s pretty awesome. It’s hard to believe until Gavin I thought I’d sleep alone for the rest of my life. Now I’m so used to sleeping with him I don’t know how I could ever sleep without him.
“Wanna see the bathroom? I saw pictures earlier and trust me, it’s as good as the bed.”
I nod my head as he tugs my hand and takes me down a hallway with walk in closets on either side. When we get to the bathroom and he flips on the light, I let out an ooh of amazement when I see a mammoth sunken wooden tub that takes up almost the entire rear wall of the room. There’s a shower off to the right with steps leading into the tub and there’s a massive silver rain shower running the length of the tub. I had been getting tired but now, seeing this…I want a bath immediately.
Turning to Gavin I squeeze his hand. “I loved being outside but if you had told me this was in here, I would have been in the tub the entire time. I could live in there! Can it be bath time?”
Poking me in the side with his free hand, he makes me giggle. “Yes babe, it can be bath time. Head on over to that huge ass basket on the counter, pick out some bath stuff and I’ll start the water.”
I’m like a kid in a candy store as I go through the gargantuan basket of bath gels and oils, opening and sniffing several as I try to make a decision. After careful consideration I go with Cinnamon Buns by Philosophy because it’s a bath gel, body wash and shampoo all in one. When I turn back around from the basket, I find that Gavin is in the tub waiting for me patiently.
We’ve showered together before, but this will be the first time that I’ve ever taken a bath with a man and something about it has me even more keyed up than usual.