The sound of tires on the gravel comin’ down my driveway alerts me to her arrival. Every step I take toward the front door makes me nauseous, and I hate how my hands are shaking. Clenching my jaw and my fists, I roll my neck on my shoulders and mentally holler at myself to man the fuck up.
Forcing my face to adopt a bland expression, I open the door to see Violet coming up the front walkway, a large piece of rolling luggage trailing behind her. She’s as beautiful as ever, her long reddish brown hair shines in the sunlight and her jean shorts and crop top fit like a dream. Damn her, she’s even wearin’ what she knows is my favorite pair of her cowboy boots, and my dick is threatening to wake up in a big way.
When she looks up and I see her beautiful hazel eyes for the first time in three months, my heart stops beating and I struggle to catch my breath. It’s like a kick in the gut to see her, not ten feet from me, and know if our future had unfurled the way it was supposed to, I’d be looking at my wife. Damn her to hell, she destroyed me, destroyed us, by leaving.
Hardening my heart to her, I step out onto the wrap-around porch to greet her. Ignoring the sheen of tears in her eyes, either guilt or, worse, pity for me, I show no emotion at all.
Giving a stiff nod of my head I say, “Violet.”
I don’t elaborate or say more, that’s on her. Looking over her shoulder, I see Uncle Jonah and Violet’s sister, Daisy, watching us from the front seat of his car. Uncle Jonah stares at me for a few seconds, a look that seems to be meant to convey something, but what, I don’t know, and then he puts the car into gear and pulls away.
Turning back to Violet, I watch as she brushes a stray tear from her cheek. Every fiber of my being wants to comfort her, but I force myself not to act on it. Violet and I are over, and the sooner I find a way to be okay with it, the better off I will be. No matter if she marries me now or not, I know better than to let my guard down around her.
I startle when she takes a step toward me and raises her hand toward my face. Taking a step back I snap, “Don’t touch me.”
She lets out a choked sob as two more tears run down her cheeks. “Ry…please—don’t do this. I’m so sorry I…”
I’m not interested in her apology at all. If anything, the idea of her givin’ one to me makes me feel like I just drank a fifth of some cheap ass rot gut. “Really, Violet? Really? You’re sorry?”
Her tears are flowing steadily now, and she looks awful. The sight of her upset is actually physically painful for me, and I clench my fists and grit my teeth to keep from comforting her. Seeing her isn’t just causing me pain, it’s making me angry. My hurt, humiliation, despair and rage all come together and start to boil over as I stare at her.
“What, exactly, are you sorry for, Violet? Are you sorry you said yes when I asked you to marry me? Or are you sorry we actually set a date and were going to take vows? Are you sorry you left me a note like a fucking coward and then disappeared into thin fuckin’ air? What’s done is done, and I have no interest in your apology. I’ve got no choice but to marry you now, but I do have a choice about what I’m willing to listen to. Your time for apologies was three months ago.”
Storming past her, I grab her suitcase and drag it into the house. Without pausing, I storm up the stairs and take her case into the guest room. Hoisting it up, I drop it onto the bed. Turning around, I find her standing uncertainly in the doorway. Gesturing around the room I snap, “I’d say I hope the accommodations suit you, but I really don’t care. Feel free to do whatever you want to the room. It’s yours for the duration.”
Twisting her hands together anxiously, she stares at me with a shocked look on her face as she walks into the room. “Why did you agree to marry me if you don’t have any intention of us being a real couple?”
The question is so off-the-wall I laugh, harshly, in her face. “This is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, Violet. Why did you agree to marry me when you didn’t have any intention of following through?”
Hugging her arms around herself, she sobs brokenly, seemingly incapable of words. Realizing she can’t answer the question because she’s too upset, it hits me straight I can’t stand in the room for another second without comforting her. Since that shit cannot happen, I walk past her in order to leave. As I get to the door, so damn close to escape, she grabs my arm and stops me. Even just this simple touch on my arm makes my heart beat funny in my chest. I’d know this woman’s touch anywhere.
“Turn around and look at me, Ryder. Don’t walk away.”
Her words make me irrationally angry. Spinning on my heel, I glare at her. “Who are you to tell me not to walk away? Do you know people took to callin’ you Vanishing Violet? I’ve been the subject of town gossip for the last three months, Violet, because you walked away and disappeared into thin fuckin’ air. Did you really think for one minute I would welcome you back with open arms?”
She shakes her head emphatically, but can’t seem to find any words to say. The sight of her tears keeps hitting me like a kick in the nuts. Frustrated with her silence, I snap.
“What do you want, Vi? Absolution? If that’s what this is, you’re shit out of luck because I can’t give it to you. Do you want to know if you destroyed me? If havin’ you leave me behind without any explanation ripped my heart out of my fucking chest? Then you’ve got it. You were my life, Violet, and you took something I believed was beautiful and made it ugly. You didn’t even give me a warning, didn’t have the courtesy, the human fucking decency, to talk to me about it or clue me in that you didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want to be my wife. You should have fucking told me, to my face, your feelings had changed. It would have saved me a lot of fuckin’ humiliation.”
When she opens her mouth and reaches out for me again, I snap. Furious with myself because I’ve just admitted she destroyed me, I slam out of the bedroom and run out of the house to the stables. I’ll deal with Vi another day. Right now, I just need to get away from her because it’s all too much.