CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
“Jack!”
A dozen emotions washed over Desiree as she registered who the caller was. The few days that had passed since their last date had been pure torture. She didn’t know if he was upset, or angry, or even if he still wanted to see her. But his continued silence had her almost at breaking point.
Still, she didn’t contact him. He needed to work through whatever emotions were eating at him and so, even though it killed her, she gave him time.
Now, with him on the phone, she couldn’t keep the happiness out of her voice.
“How are you?”
“I’m just fine. Sorry for not calling sooner.”
“No, that’s okay. I… I kind of figured you’d call when you were ready?”
She gave a halfhearted laugh and reflected that if her phone had a cord, now would be the time she would be twirling it. As it was, she made her way to the faded red couch in her living room and plopped down on it. The couch was her security blanket, the one thing that had stayed with her as she moved about in her twenties.
“Yeah. Well, it kinda ended awkward the other night, didn’t it? And my sister tells me it’s all my fault.”
Desiree grinned. “I think I’m gonna like you sister.” Jack’s answering laugh drew the tension out of Desiree’s shoulders.
Jack cleared his throat. “She reckoned you’d tell me whatever it is about Steve when you were ready. And that if you never did, it wasn’t anythin’ to be worried about anyhow. So I decided to just let it go.”
“Let it go altogether?”
“Yep. The way I see it, you’ll tell me if you think it’s necessary.”
She smiled, knowing it could be heard in her voice. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“So, can I make it up to you?”
“Sure. What were you thinking?”
“Dinner? You and me?”
She felt a squeeze of pleasure through her body as they made plans to meet up, and as soon as they had broken the connection, of course she had to call Penny.
Before Penny could even say hello, Desiree squealed, “He called me.”
Penny had been on the receiving end of regular calls from Desiree since the mess of the other night, so she knew exactly what Desiree was talking about. “Good news, babe. And it’s all sorted?”
“Yep. We’re out to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Did you tell him about Steve?”
“I didn’t have to. He decided to let it go. With a bit of encouragement from his sister.”
“Are you still going to tell him? I mean, you were all ready to.”
“Yeah, I think I still will. I think it’ll still be helpful. You know, to clear the air a bit.”
“Good idea.”
The date was set for the following night and Desiree wasn’t sure she could last. It was almost as bad as the day after her first date. There was only one moment that broke up the monotony of the day, and that happened when she had a class with Nathan.
She smiled widely at him as he entered the class, and while he gave her a small smile in return, he didn’t look up from under his hoodie for the whole class. Desiree puzzled over him. It was as if he had gone right back into the shell she thought he was just starting to climb out of.
“Nathan, do you mind waiting back for a minute when class is over?” She had to find out what was going on, that he was alright and that whatever gains she made in her friendship with him hadn’t been erased somehow. He glared at her from under his hoodie, but gave a sullen nod of acceptance.
At the end of the class, Nathan sauntered up to her desk. “What is it, Miss Jackson? I have another class to go to.”
“Nathan?” She felt a little hurt by his words. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“The other day, at the open mic night, you… we were friends and now…”
“Forget about the open mic night.” Nathan slashed a hand through the air, shocking Desiree into silence. “It’s over. My mum won’t let me sing.”
“What?” Desiree couldn’t believe her ears. “But your talent?”
“What about it?” Nathan’s jeering tone tore at Desiree’s heart. “I have to get permission because they found out I was underage. And my mum won’t give it. So I can’t go. And I can’t sing.”
“Surely there’s another way?”
“The guys already have a replacement.” Nathan seemed to sag. “It was everything I wanted, Miss Jackson. And now that bitch won’t let me sing.”
“Nathan.” Desiree put a hand on his arm, and he finally looked her in the face. She could see tears in his eyes, but she figured Nathan wouldn’t appreciate her mentioning them. “Maybe I can have a word to her?”
“What’s the point? You already said, no-one gets through to my mum.”
“But I can’t believe you’re giving up on this, when you’ve got such a good voice.”
“What else can I do?”
The question hung in the air. Desiree knew Nathan was right. At fifteen, there wasn’t much else he could do. Well, he could leave home, strike out on his own, but that wasn’t a solution Desiree would suggest for any kid. His mother had the perfect right to refuse permission for her teenage son to go into pubs to perform.
“Aren’t there other options? Like talent quests or something? For kids your age?”
Nathan sniffed derisively. “Hang out with a bunch of twelve year old girls who think they’re Ariana Grande? Yeah, not really my scene.”
“But there has to be something…”
“Look, Miss Jackson, Desiree.” Nathan looked her hard in the eye. “It’s done, alright. I’m done. There’s nothing more to say.” He stalked away, leaving Desiree with a hard lump in the pit of her stomach. She made a note in her diary to contact the year co-ordinators to let them know what was going on.
But even with her concern over Nathan, Desiree couldn’t help the butterflies that flittered around, making her smile when she realised that tonight she would see Jack again. Time dragged on, but finally, she dismissed her students from her last class of the day and Desiree got home, showered and changed and then sat to wait for Jack who was going to pick her up.
She felt like she looked good, which was always good for the confidence. She had invested in some not-black tops, so the one she wore today was a dark green print, which she paired with a silky scarf in lighter tones. It was still summer, but the scarf was light enough that it didn’t make her too hot. She wore black pants and open toed shoes. It was a different look for her – pretty much none of her tattoos were on show – she realised if it wasn’t for her piercings and black nails she would look like any other person out there. Frowning, she put on her usual black eye makeup and a dark red lipstick, which made her feel a little more like herself. Her bracelet chattered comfortingly around her wrist.
Once she was ready, she went to the kitchen and poured herself a bourbon. She sat curled up on her couch, nursing the spirit and wondering about this new version of Desiree that seemed to be emerging. This Desiree who wanted more colour and variety. This Desiree who waited, instead of steamrolling ahead. This Desiree who didn’t push straight into the physical side of the relationship.
She didn’t dislike the new Desiree, but she was curious about her. She could only trace the change back to when she met Jack, or it could have resulted from her bad experience with Steve. One or the other event had sparked something up in her that she didn’t even know was there. It was like her sleeping dragon, laying dormant for years and years until it was awoken.
She smiled, she liked the thought of that. An awakened dragon. She could see how she could incorporate that into her look and outlook. In fact, she thought, she already had an ear cuff in the shape of a dragon. She wondered if she could find it.
Getting up, she put her glass down and went back into the bedroom to look for the cuff. There it was, at the bottom of her jewelery box, long forgotten. It was a delicate silver dragon, that went through one of the piercings on the earlobe and then wrapped itself around the ear shell. She put it on, and smiled at her reflection.
The doorbell rang, and Desiree’s heartbeat increased. Quickly walking the distance from her room to the front door, she swung it open to find Jack there with a big bunch of flowers in his hand.
“Thank you Jack, they’re gorgeous.” She wondered just what she was going to put them in. She didn’t own any vases. “Come on in while I find somewhere to put these.” She walked to the kitchen, where she dug an old, orange plastic jug out from the depths of her cupboard and placed the flowers in, giving them some water. “Do we need to go straight away? Or could we have a drink before we go?” Desiree brought the flowers out to sit in the table in the lounge room, and Jack followed her in there.
“We could have a drink. That’d be nice.”
Desiree waved him down on to the couch while she went back to the kitchen. “Beer or bourbon?” she asked.
“A beer would be good, thanks.” When she came back in with the drinks, Jack was still seated on the edge of the couch, looking around uncomfortably.
“Here,” she said, handing him the stubby-holder enshrouded beer. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re just about ready to jump up from there and run away.”
He sent her a wry smile. “I’m not sure. I feel all skittish sudden like.” He took a pull on the beer, and made a visible effort to sit back on the couch. “Like this is a first date and I’m scared I’ll screw it up.”
“Well, it's not a first date, and if anyone should be scared of screwing it up, it should probably be me, so you have nothing to worry about.” Desiree still had the remainder of her bourbon from before and, although the ice was pretty much melted now, it was still cold so she gulped a mouthful.
Jack’s dimpled grin shone on her. “You’re right. I’m here with a beautiful woman, drinking ice cold beer, and we’re off to dinner for some good food and good conversation. Nothing to worry about.” He took another sip, his eyes raking over her. “You look great. What’s that in your ear?”
Desiree pushed her hair back behind her ear so Jack could see it better. “It’s a dragon cuff. See? He curls around and then his head pops back out at the top.” She followed the dragon’s body as it curled around her ear, coming to rest on the bumpy bit that represented its head.
“Cute.” Jack put down his drink then reached out to touch it, following the curve around Desiree’s ear. She shivered at his touch. He threaded his fingers into her hair, and his gaze turned to her face, intense and searching. “We’re all good, aren’t we?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He brought his other hand up to the other side of her face, and pulled her forward into a kiss. Enveloped in his comfortable presence, Desiree could feel the longing in his touch and in his kiss. She gave herself up to the moment, allowing Jack to pour everything that he needed into the kiss. She closed her eyes, and leaned back against the couch, her pulse quickening at the silent demand of his succulent lips and the rasp of day old growth against her cheek. The smooth and rough sensations together sent Desiree’s temperature soaring.
He pulled back slowly, and as Desiree opened her eyes, she could see Jack looking deeply into them, searching for her reaction. She smiled dreamily at him, and the slight concern on his face was replaced by a softer, warmer expression. But still, the intensity in his eyes remained.
“You give me all kinds of ideas, Miss Desiree,” he whispered, still cupping her face. “You make me think of things I haven’t thought of for a long time.”
“What things?” Desiree breathed the words, lost in his gaze.
“Happy things. Comfortable things. Sexy things.” This last was said with almost a growl, which set Desiree’s blood on fire. And the heat only increased as Jack dove back in to kiss her again, this time with a little more power and force.
Despite her tall, strong body and equally strong personality, Desiree did like it when the guy took the lead. She liked to feel nurtured, like she was precious and delicate, but also she liked it when the guy knew he could take her and strip her bare if he wanted. Jack was pushing all of Desiree’s buttons, like he knew what she craved, and particularly made those moves just to thrill her. She could feel her body tensing, awaiting the delicious sensations that would ultimately lead to its hot release. She moaned into Jack’s mouth, and pushed herself against him, trying to feel all of him at once. His scent was intoxicating, and he tasted amazing. She wanted more.
Jack pulled back a little to let his forehead rest on Desiree’s. “That kind of sexy thing.” His piercing eyes smoldered with restrained fire, his shortened breaths matching hers. She could feel the speedy tattoo of his heartbeat mingling with hers. His fingers pulled at her scarf, trying to reach the burning skin beneath. Desiree took it off, and Jack drew a line of kisses from her jaw down the side of her neck and to her throat. His hands left her face to roam down her shoulders and to rest on her breasts, his breath hitching as he massaged the sensitive, hard nipples through the fabric of her top.
“Jack.” Desiree could only gasp the one strangled word as heat from their bodies engulfed her, and she struggled to remove her top.
But even as she grabbed the hem of her garment and tried to lift it, Jack’s lips left her throat, and he leaned back, allowing cool air to circulate between them. A frustrated expression crossed his face, and he ran a hand through his hair. He sat back on the couch.
Desiree struggled to sit up, pulling her top back down into place, and straightening her hair. She had no idea what had just happened. One minute, they were going at it hammer and tongs, and the next, he had pulled right away. “What happened?” She tried to keep the confusion and annoyance out of her tone, but she didn’t think she succeeded.
Jack looked at her seriously, and she gave a tentative smile. He didn’t return it. She put a hand over his and said, “Is something wrong?” He didn’t respond, just kept looking at her like he wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking at.
And with that, old Desiree re-emerged and she jumped to her feet.
“What the fuck, Jack? You can’t start something like that and then stop without giving me a damn good reason.”
Jack reared back almost as if Desiree had slapped him. In other circumstances, his reaction would have made her laugh, but right now, she was furious. Jack had no right to her body if he was going to leave her frustrated and irritated. And he sure as hell didn’t get away with not saying anything at all. Silence be damned. He would say something.
“Talk to me Jack. What the actual fuck?”
“I can’t do it.” His eyes shifted away from her.
She frowned. “Can’t do what?”
He waved his hand around aimlessly. “This. I can’t do it. Not with the Steve thing still hangin’.”
“Steve thing? I thought you were letting it go.”
“But I can’t.” He snapped out the words, standing up and grabbed Desiree around the shoulders. “He said you’d disappear after we… get physical. That you do that all the time. Is that the truth?”
Desiree’s mouth fell open, but before she could respond, Jack continued.
“Because if it is, I don’t want it. I don’t want a quick screw. Not with anyone. If I’m going to do this thing, I want to know I’m not wastin’ my time.” He was almost desperately searching her eyes, and suddenly, all the heat went out of Desiree’s anger. She put one hand up to cup his face, reaching up to brush her lips against his.
“I need to tell you something.”
She sat back down on the couch, and indicated that Jack should do the same. Tentatively, he sat, his eyes on her the whole time.
She sighed, looking away and trying to work out where to start. Her fingers twisted around each other and she felt a sheen of perspiration break out over her whole body. She wasn’t good at talking about feelings. She didn’t do it. Ever. She was the one who hid who she was behind her caustic, sarcastic facade. Hardly anyone got through.
But Jack had gotten through.
She took a deep breath, and looked back at him. He was still watching her closely, seriously.
“Okay, just so you know, I never talk to anyone about feelings. I hate doing it. It makes me uncomfortable.” Jack nodded, but didn’t say anything, so she bumbled on. “Steve and I had a quick fling a few weeks ago.” Jack’s brows flew down.
“It was a one off and I regret it. Thing is, I thought Steve would be up for a one-night stand. I didn’t think he would think it was going to be more.”
Jack’s expression grew darker, and Desiree faltered. “I… Um, I probably do have a bit of a reputation for… up until now I’ve never really gotten close to anyone. But with you, Jack, I’m feeling… things I never did before, like, maybe we should see where this takes us.”
She had no idea if her words made any sense to Jack. His expression hadn’t changed.
Desiree gently smiled at him. “Are you going to say anything?”
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. “So, you are that kind of girl?”
“I was. I’m not now. Not with you.” She reached out to put a hand on his knee. He looked up.
“But you slept with Steve after we met?”
“Yes, but you and I weren’t together or anything.”
“Oh, well that makes it all better.” Jack’s sarcastic tone did not endear him to her. “When was it?”
“The day before I met you guys at the markets.”
“I thought you looked happier that day. Less pale and kind of softer. I guess a good bang will do that for you.” His voice turned harsh, and Desiree, infuriated by his tone, answered icily.
“No, I hated myself. I still do. Steve is a nice guy, and I used him.”
“Then why do it?”
Desiree’s control snapped. “I was trying to get over you, alright? Jesus, Jack, you burrowed into my brain and I couldn’t shift you. It was sleep with Steve or drive a fucking screwdriver into my eye.”
She saw Jack’s brows jump up in surprise just before she turned around to face away from him, stupid tears threatening to fall. She crossed her arms and scowled at the wall.
Stop it.
She clenched her teeth and forced the tears back, keeping her fine brows drawn and her anger high. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me Jack, but I hate it. I hate it. I’m someone different when I’m around you.” She felt him come to stand behind her and slip his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him. “And I don’t like to feel vulnerable and guilty…” He nuzzled her neck. “And I don’t let people under my shell Jack and you came along and…” She arched her neck as Jack’s searching lips drew a line of kisses along its planes. She spun around in his arms, and their lips sought and found each other. She felt wetness on her cheeks.
Fuck.
“I’m scared, Jack,” she whispered into his chest. “I have no idea what I’m doing here, and I’m scared.” For the first time in a long time, she let the tears fall.
“Hey.” Jack put a hand under her chin and lifted her face so she was looking at him, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “There’s nothing wrong with being scared, honey. A new relationship, well, that’s always a big deal.” She nodded silently and he dropped a kiss on her nose. “We’ll get through all this together, but we have to be honest with each other, okay?”
“Okay,” she replied, taking a deep breath and putting the tears back where they belonged.
“Now, you should go fix up your makeup.”
Desiree wrenched herself out of his arms and ran to the bathroom. Her black mascara was everywhere, dark rivulets cascading down her cheeks. She started to laugh, and could hear Jack join in, as he strolled to the bathroom as well.
While she quickly wiped the smudged mascara from her face, Jack came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. He nuzzled her neck and she closed her eyes in ecstacy. When she opened them again, Jack caught her glance in the mirror. “Panda eyes or not, you’re still the sexiest woman I’Ve ever laid eyes on.”
She turned in his arms, and he arched her upper body back a little as her kissed her. Their bodies touching from knee to lip, Desiree felt herself relax into Jack’s attentions, threading her hands into his hair and dragging his face as close to hers as it could get. She felt his hardness pushed against her core, and her body’s welcoming slickness as they took up where they had left off before.
Jack urgently helped Desiree remove the green top as she pulled herself up to sit on the bathroom counter, and spread her knees. He stood between them, alternating between kisses on her eager lips, and on her breasts, still encased in a white shelf bra. Desiree grasped at the buttons on his shirt, working them open and leaning forward to plant kisses on his chest as she bared it. She wriggled so her opening lay just off the edge of the counter, and Jack pushed in hard against her. Their lips smashed together, tongues twisting furiously in each others’ mouths.
“Bedroom?” Jack gasped and when Desiree pointed the direction, he lifted her up off the bench and walked with her wrapped around him to the bedroom, throwing her down on the bed and unzipping his trousers before he joined her.
Desiree flipped him on to his back and straddled him, reaching into his trousers to fondle his stiffening cock. He wriggled his trousers down, along with his underwear. Desiree licked her lips at the sight of his thick, hard member springing free, and she eagerly grasped it, gliding her hand up and down the length of it. She was rewarded with a glistening drop of pre-cum, which she rubbed gently around the head. She could smell Jack’s scent now, stronger down here, his own, particular musk, and it invaded her senses. She came back up to kiss him ferociously, dragging on his lip with her teeth and growling gently.
Then, with a wicked smile, Jack took charge. He flipped Desiree on to her back, pulling her breasts free of her bra and pawing at her trousers. She helped him to undo them, and lifted her buttocks as he swiftly slid them down her legs, panties too. Desiree undid her bra and flipped it away. She lay, completely naked, under the hottest man she could remember being with, and her heart pounded in anticipation of their coupling.
Jack leaned over her and kissed her cheek and neck, and slowly made his way down her body, swirling his tongue over the swollen, red nipples on her breasts, and continuing to knead the soft flesh as his kisses drifted even further south - over the curve of her stomach, and down to the neat curls at her apex. He blew a breath of air on them, and Desiree shivered. The air made the moisture between her legs cold, but that wasn’t why she shivered. Jack spread her pussy wings wide and dipped his head to flick his tongue over her clitoris. She drew in a tortured breath, and took hold of handfuls of sheet.
He settled himself between her legs and started to work her opening with his wicked tongue. First, swirling over her clitoris in slow, sensual circles, then flicking his tongue fast over it, making Desiree cry out. He seemed to know just when she was about to crash over the edge, because he would pull away and return to the lazy swirls every time her body tensed. She loved it, loved to let her experience draw right out, loved having this man’s tongue on her most private of places. He reached up to fondle her breasts, but it was quite obvious his main interest was her clitoris. And Desiree didn’t mind that one damn bit.
He blew cold air against her and she shivered again, and then giggled, for probably the first time in ten years. Desiree didn’t giggle. But she was giggling now.
He introduced a finger into her passage, creeping it in like a caterpillar inching its way forward, while continuing to lave her clit. He hit on a g-spot, and Desiree lurched. She thought she felt him smile against her apex, and then he put a second finger inside, to join the first at that spot.
With his tongue creating wicked sensations on her clitoris, and his two fingers working the erogenous zone inside her, Desiree felt the climax build in a matter of seconds before she came, screaming and bucking against the bed. She had found the fireworks, the electricity. Jack had given it to her right there - red and visceral and powerful. And his lips coming up to meet hers added the last spark. She kissed him eagerly, tasting herself and getting caught up in the eroticism of the act.
Jack’s cock stood proud. Desiree could see he was straining for release.
“Condom?” he asked.
She rolled over a little and pulled a plastic packet from her nightstand. Ripping it open, she rolled the rubber down his cock. His head fell back, and a moan escaped his lips.
“Come, Jack,” she murmured seductively, and his head snapped back so he could look her in the eye. “Come inside me.”
He didn’t need any more invitation. Desiree felt the pressure of his manhood breaching her most feminine parts, and she welcomed him in with a long groan as he slid smoothly inside.
“Desiree,” he moaned, as he pulled back and pushed inside again, this time with a little more force.
“Fuck me, Jack,” Desiree encouraged, her eyes bright and all her senses on overload. “I want to feel you hard inside me.”
Jack raised his eyebrows, and at Desiree’s silent encouragement, he thrust into her, both of them grunting as their bodies met violently. Desiree tried to keep looking at Jack’s eyes, but the force of his thrusts felt too good, and she lay her head back and arched her neck, closing her eyes. She pushed her hips up to meet each thrust, grinding herself against Jack, listening to his pants of pleasure, and scenting their mix of sexual perfumes. She didn’t want to come again until Jack was with her, so she held herself back, her face twisting into a grimace.
Jack’s eyes were unfocused now, his own pleasure taking over every muscle and every nerve in his body. He slapped against her, his fingers digging into her thighs. She started to gasp, “Jack… I can’t… I can’t…” when all of his muscles tensed for a long moment, and then he roared, pushing his pelvis forward and emptying himself into her.
Desiree came too, her twitching muscles milking Jack even more.
Then the two of them slumped down, Desiree against the bed, and Jack over the top of her. His head rested on her shoulder, and his breathing was shallow and fast, as was Desiree’s.
She smiled and ran a gentle hand over his arm and down his side, feeling suddenly languorous and sleepy.
This is how sex should end, she thought, satisfied and totally drained of energy.
“Am I squashing you?” she heard Jack’s muffled voice say, and she replied, “No, not at all.”
“Good. I’m going to have a quick rest here, and then we should probably go to dinner before they cancel our reservations.”
“Fuck dinner,” replied Desiree. “I’d much prefer to stay here with you.”
She could hear the amusement in Jack’s voice as he replied, “Whatever you want, darlin’.”