It was cool and quiet outside. The only sounds were the dim buzzing of the carpark lights, and the crunch of their shoes against the asphalt as they walked. Approaching Penny’s car, she and Marc didn’t talk. They had reached that stage in their friendship where they could be silent together and there was no weirdness. Still, Penny wondered what Marc was thinking about. She didn’t need to wonder for long.
“That attack you had?”
She heard the hesitation in his voice, saw the way he thrust his hands into his jeans pockets and hunched his shoulders. He seemed unsure if he should talk about it. Penny could admit to herself that she preferred that he didn’t, but since he had started the conversation, she should let him have his say.
“Yeah?”
“I’m worried about you.”
Despite his words, Penny had to smile. “Aw. Thanks.” She nudged him gently with her elbow and in the yellowed light of the carpark she was pleased to see a slight smile cross his face as well. But he continued with his serious words.
“No, I mean it. You should see a doctor to make sure it’s not your heart or something.”
She sniffed. “I don’t have time to go to the doctors. Besides, it was nothing. Just… I don’t know, a blip.”
They reached Penny’s car and Marc turned to face her. “Seriously, Pen, that kind of stuff – palpitations and sweats and things – that screams heart attack to me.”
“But I’m fine now.” She pushed all the force she could into the words, even though she had spoken softly. With a smile, she put a hand up to cradle Marc’s cheek, and forced him to look into her eyes. She was conscious of the tenderness of the gesture, but she needed to reassure him she was okay, that he didn’t need to worry. “If it was a heart attack, I’d still be on the floor in the wings.”
“Pen.” Marc’s voice was a harsh whisper, and he turned his head, his lips resting in her palm. His eyes closed and his brows drew together. She saw his chest rise and fall quickly. Penny realised with rising alarm that her gesture had affected him more than she thought it would.
But his velvet lips and the scrape of a day’s beard growth against her palm kept her from saying anything, his uneven breath warming her fingers before dissolving in the night air too intoxicating to ask him to stop. Penny tumbled from one thought to another – should she tell him to stop? It felt so good letting him continue, letting his lips and his breath electrify every nerve ending in her body. There had always been a current between them – Penny could admit to that. But they had never acted on it. Perhaps they should have.
Marc must have felt her shiver through her fingers, or perhaps he heard the shuddering breath she released. He grasped her hand, taking it away from his face and holding it loosely between them. His eyes burned into Penny’s—in the half-light, they looked almost black, glinting with blue fire from within. Spellbound in his gaze, Penny was acutely aware of his lips descending toward hers and she tilted her head to receive the kiss.
“Pen, I…”
A burst of conversation and laughter followed a group of tipsy people out of the door of the tavern, breaking the spell. Penny dropped Marc’s hand and took a step away. Both of them were breathing shallowly, and Penny knew Marc’s hungry gaze was matched in her own expression.
But it wasn’t a good idea. Her and Marc. She didn’t do well in relationships. Not since… well, not ever, really. She just didn’t seem to be able to take that step, the one that cemented the relationship for the long term. And she didn’t want to start something with Marc that might end shortly and badly. Their friendship meant too much, and Penny loved working backstage with Marc – something that would be uncomfortable and awkward as hell in the small confines of backstage if they were broken up.
Her thoughts whirling, she gave Marc a tentative smile. “Goodnight Marc,” she said softly, knowing that she should say more, but not knowing how to articulate her thoughts.
As she turned to her car, Marc said, “Pen, wait,” stepping in and closing the car door even as she opened it. His arm stretched out beside her, lightly resting on the car, his bicep brushing against her arm.
“Don’t,” was all she needed to whisper, even though she longed to say more, wished she had the guts to say, “Kiss me,” or “Let’s make out in the backseat.” He let his arm drop away from the door, and Penny opened it, climbing quickly into the driver’s seat. She started the engine and drove away, not looking at Marc for fear that she might see something in his face to make her change her mind.
He didn’t deserve someone like her.
Coming early 2018.