CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE.
Desiree knew that Maureen was going to try to talk her into taking Jack back. And Desiree knew, with the same certainty, that she would not do so until she could be persuaded to trust him again.
However, Desiree, desperately wanted news of Jack, and of the kids, and whether Susan was back in Jack’s life, so when Maureen invited her out for a coffee, Desiree was quick to say yes, and to organise a time after school was done for the day.
She had returned to work. It had been a struggle at the start, seeing the faces of the kids who were traumatized just by having been in the same class as Nathan. They needed support and encouragement to move along, to accept that death is an intrinsic part of life, and that suicide was never ever going to be the best way to deal with their problems.
A memorial was held for Nathan, which seemed to settle many of the students, and life had just about returned to normal at the school.
As usual, Desiree had classes with Faith, and today’s would be the first one since she walked out of Jack’s house. As she collected her papers, books, pens and markers for the class, Desiree wondered how Faith would react to her. She had thought hard, and with a guilty conscience, about the effect of her actions on the kids. Their own mother had done exactly what Desiree did, and walked out while they weren’t there. She hoped that they hadn’t made the connection, and that they didn’t hate her as a result.
So it was a good surprise to get a sunny smile from Faith as the class settled down for the lesson.
Afterward, Faith approached Desiree, still smiling. “Hi Miss Jackson.”
“Hi Faith. How’s things?” She hoped Faith wouldn’t hear the desperation in her voice for information. The past days had been totally frustrating, not knowing what was going on over at Jack’s. But she didn’t want to press Faith for information either.
“Yeah, good.”
“Has your mum settled in?” Desiree didn’t look at Faith as she asked the question, instead collecting up her pens and placing them in her pencil case. But she looked up as Faith hesitated.
“It’s… it’s been a bit complicated, actually. Dad won’t let her stay at the house, so she’s stayin’ at grandma’s place.” Faith frowned, and Desiree figured she was trying to work out how much she should say. “She’s been over every night, but yesterday Dad told her that she couldn’t just barge into the house whenever she felt like it. I was in my room, but I could hear them fightin’. You know, I totally forgot about the arguments they used to have.” Faith’s attention strayed for a moment, and Desiree wondered if she was accessing memories that she had previously suppressed, trying hard to hold on to a picture of her mother in the best possible light. Faith’s gaze came back to Desiree, and she colored just a little. “So today, Mama is only allowed to be there from four ‘til five-thirty. It makes sense. The boys are getting all tired and fractious because their routines are out, and I haven’t been able to do any study at all.” She nodded decisively. “This is better.” But Desiree noticed the words were a little less than firm, and her nod slowed as her brows drew together.
“So, what’s the problem?” Desiree prodded gently.
Faith didn’t reply for a couple of moments, her worried gaze on Desiree. When Desiree smiled and dipped her head a little to encourage Faith to speak, she took a deep breath, and blurted out, “Mama said she’s going to try to get custody of us.”
Desiree’s eyebrows flew up. “Really?” She furiously thought about the custody cases she had seen during her time as a teacher. Time and again, the father was given the short shrift, when for some reason, the courts believed that a child was better off spending most of their time with one parent, and most of the time, that was the mother. She knew Jack would need all the support he could get to work through a custody battle, and her first instinct was to pick up her phone and call him.
But she didn’t. Instead, she said to Faith, “What do you think about that?”
“I… it sounds so mean, but I really don’t want to go and live with Mama.” Faith let out a shuddering breath, as if making the declaration had been a huge deal for her. “I mean, I love her and all that, but really, she was the one who left us behind, and it just doesn’t seem fair on Dad for her to do that.”
Desiree nodded. “Yes, but what about for you, Faith? What would be best for you?”
“I don’t know.” Faith shook her head, and then a small glint of a smile came to her face. “It was kind of nice when you were livin’ at our place.”
Desiree blinked suddenly, tongue tied by the unexpected turn in conversation.
“Daddy is really missin’ you, you know.”
“I figured he would be, but I didn’t want to hang around when your Mum was there. I thought she was moving in.” While it wasn’t strictly the truth, Desiree was comfortable with letting Faith think that was the reason she had left.
“Well, she’s not, so you should come back.” Faith smiled wryly. “It was really annoying to have to wait until I saw you here before I could talk to you.”
Desiree chuckled, but used the opportunity to address a concern she had about Faith. “So you don’t see me trying to take over your Mum’s place?”
“No. I reckon I’m pretty much resigned to Mama and Dad not gettin’ back together. And I want them both to be happy. And I figure, it’s you that makes Dad happy.”
Desiree swallowed back her sudden tears. “Thanks for that Faith. I really do appreciate it.”
“Yeah, well, come home soon, won’t you?” Faith hefted her schoolbag up on to her shoulder, a sure sign the conversation was coming to an end.
“I’ll do what I can.”
With a smile and a flick of her hair, Faith walked out of the room. Desiree watched her go, conscious of a little ache in her heart. She badly wanted to get back to her home at Jack’s place. But she had to let Jack make the move. She had to. It was just so important that he realised how much in the wrong he had been, and what he needed to do to fix it.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, and Desiree found herself seated at Greens with Maureen before she knew it. Cappuccino and cake were the order of the day, with both of them ordering a different type of cheesecake – Maureen’s was choc-orange, and Desiree’s blueberry.
“So,” started Maureen once they had settled in, “how have you been?”
“Not great,” admitted Desiree with a slightly pained smile. “But I’m dealing.”
“Honey, I am so sorry that you got caught up in the whole Jack and Susan thing.”
“Not half as sorry as I am.”
“And not half as sorry as Jack is. He’s in such a state.”
Desiree took a steadying sip of her cappuccino before replying. “I bet he is.”
“I don’t know how many times I told him to tell you.”
“Not enough, obviously.” Desiree heard the derision in her own voice and didn’t like it. She changed tone to something more conciliatory. After all, it wasn’t Maureen’s fault that Jack had acted like a dick. “You shouldn’t have to tell him, Maureen. He’s a grown man.”
Maureen sniffed. “I’m not sure they ever grow up. But I have to say, of all the boys I know, Jack is one of the best. And I’m not just sayin’ that because he’s my brother.”
Desiree put her cup down and looked Maureen squarely in the eye. “You don’t have to convince me about Jack, Maureen. But he has to acknowledge how much he hurt me.”
“I know, darlin’ and I think he’s gettin’ there. He’s just tryin’ to work out the words.”
“Well he’d better hurry the fuck up. I’m not going to hang around forever.”
“No?” Maureen chuckled suddenly, and Desiree looked at her sharply. What was so funny? Before she could ask, Maureen continued. “You two are hilarious, you know? With your hedgin’ around each other and worryin’ about what each other’s gonna do? You know what I think?” She leaned in toward Desiree as if she had a secret to tell. Desiree leaned in as well.
“What?”
“I think you probably would hang around forever. And I think he would do the same.”
As Maureen sat back, a satisfied look on her face, Desiree felt her throat burn, and she pushed back tears that sprang to her eyes. She didn’t know how to respond.
“He… I… “
“Don’t sweat it, sweetie. He’ll sort himself out, and real soon I think. Then he’ll come crawlin’ back to you, apologizin’ like there’s no tomorrow, and workin’ out ways to make it up to you that’ll have you wanting to crawl out of your skin. In a good way,” she finished with a wink.
Desiree colored and smiled. “Thanks, Maureen.” Impulsively, and completely against her carefully created character, Desiree leaned over to Maureen and kissed her on the cheek. Maureen’s eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Don’t know what that was for.”
“It’s because you’ve handed me a little hope. I’ve come so close to calling him, but I know if I do, it will only create a mess further down the track.”
“Don’t call him,” warned Maureen. “He’s had to fall a long way. Don’t make him cocky before he gets the chance to apologize.”
“I won’t. And you’ve just helped me to make up my mind to sit tight for a bit longer.”
Picking up her cup, Maureen smiled over the rim. “You’re welcome, honey. Now, we haven’t really had a chance to have a good gossip, have we? Let me tell you some things about Jackie. You won’t believe the little terror he used to be.”