CHAPTER NINE.
“Desiree? It’s Jack.”
A tidal wave of conflicting emotions hit Desiree at force. She tried not to gasp out loud as guilt, shame, fear and stupid, giddy happiness washed over her in varying degrees. Her natural cynic took over quickly.
Get a grip, fucktard. He probably wants to talk about Faith.
“Jack. Hi.” She cleared her throat, hearing the nerves in her own voice. Hopefully they weren’t too obvious to Jack.
“So, how did you pull up after the other night? Helluva hangover next mornin’?” Damn him, he sounded cool as a cucumber. That had been in the fridge. At Antarctica.
“It takes a lot more alcohol than I had the other night to push me into a hangover. What about you? Did you have a good night with your lady friend?” This time, Desiree was sure the jealousy would be clear as a bell to Jack.
“Lisa? She’s a lovely lady, but we decided to just be friends.”
Desiree bit her lip to keep from asking whether the decision had come before or after they had sex. “That’s too bad. She seemed really nice.”
“No, it’s good. Everyone can use more friends.”
“True.”
There was a silence on the line, and all of the emotions that Desiree was trying to get under control ratcheted up tenfold. She waited for Jack to talk, wondering exactly what he wanted to say. Her feelings welled up inside her, more and more with each passing second that there was no conversation. She wanted to tell Jack about how she had changed, and for the better. She wanted to tell him that she thought about him all the time, that she hated every moment he was with someone else.
But she didn’t. Instead, she fiddled with her bracelet and waited.
“Listen, Desiree. I wanted to ask you somethin’.” Now Jack’s tone was hesitant. “It might come as a surprise to you, and it might be completely unwanted and forward of me, so you be sure to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable and I’ll stop, alright?”
“Okay.” Desiree kept her tone neutral, although a little thrill made its way up from her toes to hang suspended in the pit of her stomach.
“I was hopin’ that you and I might catch up for a drink sometime.”
Desiree closed her eyes and swallowed. Jack asked her out. The giddiness and happiness bubbled up, and broke out as a giant grin on her face.
Right before her brain switched back on, and arse-kicked her heart back into submission.
“Jack, I’d like that a lot, but I don’t think I can.” She tried to put her thoughts into some semblance of order, but before she could say another word, Jack butted in.
“I know you’re Faith’s teacher and all. I was just hoping that perhaps that wouldn’t be a problem. Since you only have her for one subject, and only ‘til the end of semester.” Desiree had to smile. He’d obviously thought about how he was going to present this.
“The problem isn’t that I’m Faith’s teacher. It’s that I’m her friend as well.”
“But that makes it even better.”
“Seriously? She’d hate us both.”
“No she wouldn’t.” Jack scoffed at Desiree’s words. “She’s got more brains on her than that.”
“Have you asked her?”
“I did talk to her about having you as a friend. She was okay with it.”
“Really?” In Desiree’s conversations with Faith the teenager had made it very clear that she would resist the imposition of a new woman into her life. She wondered if Jack and Faith had the same understanding of what he meant by friend.
Desiree didn’t know how to respond. She wanted this more than she could say. But she knew it was borderline unethical, to say nothing of how it would make Faith feel. Did she want to lose Faith’s confidence? But would she? And were the ethics really that bad?
Suddenly, Desiree needed to talk to her friends really badly. They would know what to do.
“Jack? I need to think this over, okay? I’m flattered, I really am, and if circumstances were different, I’d jump at the chance.”
And jump you while I was at it.
“This hasn’t come as a shock to you has it?”
“No.” No shock at all. There were sparks.
“And there isn’t anyone else? That Steve from the other night?” A tinge of jealousy entered his tone, and Desiree had to smile.
“No, Steve and I are just friends.” Not too much of a lie.
“And you think I’m… alright?” Jack’s voice deepened, his accent giving the words a very sexy undertone that didn’t escape Desiree’s ears.
“Yes, I think you’re… alright.” She sent it back to him with the same tone, then reverted to her own voice. “But I have to think it over.”
Jack sighed down the line. “Alright. You’ll let me know?” He sounded like a plaintive child.
“Yes, I’ll let you know. And I won’t keep you hanging on for very long, I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that, ma’am. Talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
As soon as she hung up, she dialled Penny, then Lydia.
They met, as always, at Greens, Penny and Lydia’s eyes wide as Desiree told them about Jack’s phone call.
“What should I do? This guy pushes all my fuck buttons. But I don’t know if the costs will outweigh the benefits.”
Penny snorted with laughter. “Fuck buttons?”
But Lydia frowned. “It’s not a business decision, Des. Cost benefit analysis isn’t going to help. What does your heart say, and then what does your head say, and then what does your gut say?” She pointed out each emotional centre in turn, then sat back with her arms crossed, waiting for Desiree to answer.
“Heart is easy. It’s saying go for it. My head is trying to come up with all kinds of excuses to get around the ethics question. But my gut tells me Faith won’t like it.”
“No, she probably won’t. But is that reason enough to say no?”
“I don’t know! That’s why I called you guys.” Desiree smiled at them, willing the tears that were forming in her eyes to fuck off. She didn’t cry. Not over anything. Especially not over a guy. She looked down into her lap, suddenly focused on working through all the charms on her bracelet. “I’ve never done this serious relationship thing, you know. I need my friends to tell me what to do.”
“I think you should go for it.” Penny finally joined the conversation. “Jack is Faith’s dad, which means he would have looked harder than you ever will at how the whole thing would affect his daughter. I say, if he is cool with it, you should be too.”
Lydia nodded slowly. “That’s logical, Des. If Jack is good with it, maybe you should follow his lead?”
Desiree produced a wry smile. “Did you ever think you’d hear me thinking about following a man’s lead?”
“This is true,” said Penny, turning to Lydia. “Usually she’d be all ‘I’m not following any man’s lead. He can follow my fucking lead. Fuck fuck fuckety fuck.”
“And fuck him if he fucking doesn’t like it fuck,” replied Lydia, her eyes twinkling.
“Stop it you guys. I don’t swear that much.” With a grin she added, “Fuck.”
After the merriment died down a little, Desiree put her fingers to her lips, as she often did when thinking. Was Jack’s assurance that Faith would be alright good enough for her? “What about the ethical question?”
“I’m not even sure an ethical question exists, to be honest,” replied Penny. “If you were her doctor or something I’d say there was an ethical question. But you’re her teacher. For probably only this semester, and only for a couple of hours a day.” She flopped back in the couch.
“No, there’s still an ethical question,” argued Lydia. “What if Faith confides in Desiree? Will she find it hard to keep it from Jack? And what if she specifically says she doesn’t want Jack to know about it?”
“Like what?” Desiree stared at Lydia, demanding an answer.
Lydia flushed. “I don’t know. Like she’s sleeping with a boyfriend, or had her first smoke or something.”
“Faith would never…”
“I know, Des, but for the sake of the argument, let’s say Faith came to you with that. What would you do?”
Desiree thought for a moment. “I’m sure I could keep Faith’s confidences. That wouldn’t be hard. I already do that.” Nodding, she concluded. “Yep, I’m pretty sure I could separate the two.”
“Well, in that case, what have you got to lose? Call him and have a drink.”
Penny and Lydia grinned in Desiree’s face. Penny held out her phone.
“What, right now?”
“No time like the present!”
Scowling, Desiree snatched the phone out of Penny’s hand. “You guys are the worst friends ever.”