CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
Happily, for Desiree the massive amount of marking she had to do meant that the weekend came around quickly. She hadn’t seen Jack in three days, it felt like she hadn’t clapped eyes on him for weeks.
She had caught herself wanting to ring him to share small things that happened during the day, things that no one else would care about, but that she knew he would appreciate the humor of. She daydreamed about him, and had almost been caught once by a colleague just staring at a picture of him on her computer – one she’d taken with her phone on one of their nights out.
With a happy laugh, she realised she had fallen for him. She examined the feeling with interest. It was different to her other boyfriends. She wanted to talk to Jack, to share her moments and feelings. She never had that before. Even in her childhood, she could never do that. No one ever had the time, or was interested in the thoughts of a eight-year-old girl. That had been where her protective shell had started. Jack had managed to not only pierce her shell, but explode it.
And she was reveling in the feelings.
She pulled Trudy into a car park and went to buy a parking ticket. They were having dinner at The Subiaco Hotel. Afterward they would probably stick around the hotel and have a few drinks. She loved the idea of a nice, relaxing night with Jack, and she loved the old-world ambiance of the Subi. She was looking forward to a great night.
And she was pretty sure she could persuade Jack to come back to her place.
Lost in pleasant daydreams as she walked into the hotel, she didn’t notice a guy look startled at seeing her, then follow her into the hotel. She was far too fixated on Jack, who was already there, looking amazing. He kissed her quickly and pulled her chair out for her. She sat with a smile, taking her napkin in her hand and flicking it out, making her bracelet jingle.
“Feels like forever since we’ve seen each other, doesn’t it?” She placed the napkin across her knees.
“I dunno. It’s only been a few days.” She looked up quickly, surprised by his dismissive tone. His cheeky smile gleamed at her from across the table.
She reached over and smacked his hand. “Jack. Don’t be mean.”
“Okay, okay. Yes, it feels like it’s been ages. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” She couldn’t shift the beam from her face. Where a second ago she had smacked him, now she took his hand in hers and just stared at him across the table, spellbound by his good looks and the emotions that swirled through her.
Just when she found her tongue, a shadow fell over the table. They both looked up, Desiree’s face changing from its smile to one of surprise.
“Aaron!” She jumped out of her chair, ignoring the napkin falling to the ground. She threw her arms around the tall, dark haired man who stood there grinning at her, and hugging her back.
Desiree realised in a moment that Jack had no idea who Aaron was. She turned back to him, to surprise a scowl on his face, which he replaced with a bland expression as soon as they turned back to him. Still, she laughed inwardly at his consternation.
“Jack, this is my brother, Aaron.” Jack’s expression cleared to a smile, and he jumped up to shake Aaron’s hand.
“Aaron, this is Jack, my… well, I’m not really sure what you are.” She turned to Jack, a question on her face. Jack didn’t look at her, but said to Aaron, “Her boyfriend.” She beamed at him.
“How have you been Desiree?” Aaron asked. His voice was deep, with a strong Australian twang. Desiree noticed that he had a few more tattoos than the last time she had seen him.
“Good, bro, good. What about you?”
“Yeah, alright I suppose. We thought you must of moved or something.”
“Why?”
“Cos of Mum.”
“Why would I move because of Mum?” Desiree was confused, not only because of the conversation, but also the accusing light she could see shining out of her brother’s eyes.
“Nah, because you haven’t come to visit.”
She sighed. “You know I don’t get along with her.” She flicked her eyes to Jack, who had taken his seat, and was watching the scene with brows drawn. Desiree realised that she had never gotten around to explaining her family situation to Jack.
And Aaron seemed to be peeved with her as well. “Seriously, Des? You don’t get along? Don’t you think you could put that aside for a bit? Considering the circumstances?”
“What circumstances? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“She’s dying, Des.”
Desiree’s throat constricted and she took a sharp breath in. Groping for her chair, she sat down shakily and, looking up at her brother, said, “Dying?”
“Yes. She has cancer. But you wouldn’t know that, cos you can’t even get up off your prissy arse and give her a call.” Aaron shook his head in disgust. “Nice daughter you are.” He went to walk away, but Desiree grabbed his arm. “Wait. Aaron, talk to me. How long does she have? How do they know it’s terminal?”
“Why don’t you call her, Des? Just call her. She’ll tell you.”
“No she won’t. She’ll do that thing where she says everything is fine, and then I get all pissed off because she doesn’t tell me anything.” In her periphery, she noticed one of Jack’s eyebrows raise.
Boy do I have some explaining to do.
“She’ll talk to you about this, Des.”
“She could have called me. She has my number.” It sounded petty to Desiree even as she said the words.
Aaron looked at her with a mixture of pity and disgust. “Do what you want then. You always did. Well, I better leave you and your boyfriend to it. Have a nice life.”
Desiree watched her brother disappear into the crowd, her eyes filling with tears.
Her mother was dying.
She couldn’t think of anything else. Not even what she was going to say to Jack to smooth things over.
Jack was saying something, but she couldn’t hear him, not over the roaring inside her head that threatened to engulf her.
She suddenly felt restricted in the hotel, claustrophobic and clammy. She murmured, “I have to go,” and before Jack could say anything else, she had jumped out of her chair and dashed outside.
The crush of people was less, but there were still too many of them. She looked around desperately, only to find her arm grabbed and herself enclosed in the familiar, warm embrace she was getting used to. Jack had followed her outside.
“Desiree, you can’t go off like this. You’ll kill yourself in that little sports car if you try to get in it.”
Desiree reflected that she had no intention of driving, she just needed to get out of there, to breathe. Now she was outside, she didn’t know what to do. To her mortification, she started crying, great gulping sobs. Jack held her close for a moment, his lips resting on her hair as she heaved out the stress of the moment.
People in the street looked at them as they passed, but the stream of life continued as Desiree’s sobs grew quieter, and she got herself back under control.
Jack sighed, and let her go. She immediately missed the warmth of his arms and tried to go back, but he stopped her.
“I’m sorry to hear about your Mom. That’s bad news for sure. But you and I have to talk as well.”
“I know.” Desiree was miserable. How could an evening that started off with such promise end up so shit?
“You told me your family life was all good.” The accusation in Jack’s voice bit at her, bringing her anger to the fore.
“No, actually, I never did. You just surmised. I didn’t say anything at all.”
“You led me to believe that you’d have no problem with a normal family life.”
“And I wouldn’t.” She threw a look of fury at him. Didn’t he realise now was not the time for this discussion?
“How would you know? From the looks of it, you don’t even speak to your own family.”
“Alright, fine. I don’t. Happy now? My Dad went through women like other people go through cartons of milk. He ran off when I was eight, and my Mum was always working, so I never really knew her properly. I’ve always been the black sheep. They’re all working class, like Aaron, and I needed something better than that. They think I’m a snob.”
“Why did you lie to me?” The words, sharply accusing, pierced Desiree’s already hurting heart, and her shoulders dropped. She was too tired to continue arguing.
“I didn’t.”
“You lied by omission.”
“I didn’t want to lose you.”
“Did you really think that’d be the best way to keep me? To keep me in the dark?”
“I meant to tell you.” Her voice was small, pleading for Jack to understand.
“Yeah, when? Our twentieth wedding anniversary?”
“I don’t know, it just never came up again.”
Jack’s face was a mask of anger. Desiree tried to lay a hand on his arm, but he shrugged her off. “I need some time, Desiree. I don’t know how I feel about this?”
“About my family, or about what I didn’t tell you?”
“Both. It changes things. In my mind. I need some time.”
“Okay.” Desiree’s one word sounded desolate. She blinked away more tears as Jack looked her over scornfully, then strode away, leaving Desiree standing alone, stared at as the people walked past her, crying in the street.