Current Day

My hands shake by my sides on the way to the bathroom. I increase my pace and try desperately to wipe the scowl off my face. The entire restaurant doesn’t need to know how pissed I am, but if I don’t reach the solitude of the restroom, everyone south of the Tennessee border will hear me scream. That man is unbelievable. Lord only knows what he feeds the kids’ minds when they visit. And him telling Tristan that coloring is for girls? What the hell? That kid loves to color. I can’t believe he put a label on that.

I push through the bathroom door and do a quick visual sweep under the stalls. I can’t have witnesses to my hissy fit. A mixture between a growl and scream escapes as I stalk to the far sink and brace myself against the counter. It’s going to take more than a few calming breaths to slow my racing heart. A beat later, the whoosh of the door breaks any chance at solitude. Really, is five minutes too much to ask?

Standing straighter, I pretend to wash my hands. In a true fuck-my-life-fashion, the tall blonde bypasses the five sinks between me and the door and stands right beside me. I force a smile at the lean woman who makes my five-foot-six frame seem short.

“You’re here with Jaxon?”

There are certain warning devices naturally built in women. The whole eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head thing is a very real phenomenon. So, I take notice when every internal warning device gets triggered by this woman’s question, and I naturally take guard.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern.”

“It is when you’re fucking my boyfriend.” She steps closer, and every muscle tenses as my back hits the wall.

“Jax doesn’t do relationships.” That declaration would be true, except if he had a social media account, under the status category, he would list “in a relationship.” But that’s current, not his past. He hasn’t ever had a committed relationship outside high school. I’m pretty sure.

“Is that what he said?” She shakes her head as if I’m the biggest idiot for believing such foolishness. “Our relationship is more of the on-again, off-again variety.”

My gaze strays to the door and then back to her. “What’s your name?”

“Katrina.”

“Well, Katrina, considering I’ve never heard of you, I’d say you’ve been off for a while.” I brush past her and move toward the door. It makes no difference if he has had relationships in the past—they’re in the past—but he’s always denied any.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be hearing it soon. And, Jocelyn, I’ll take good care of him while you’re in Brooklyn.”

My feet falter when she says my name, but I don’t respond. The door slams behind me, and I lean my hand against the wall, pausing while my stomach flips. She knows my name and where I live? Fuck. I forgot about the girls, the cleat chasers, who are relentless in their quest. Could she be lying, or did she really have a past with him? If anything, these past couple of months prove how dedicated he is to this relationship. The kids and I being on this trip is evidence enough, and he hasn’t once given me any doubt. But I’m not sure I can handle being cornered in a bathroom while at a restaurant with my children.

By the time I arrive back at the table, the food has been served. I slide into my chair and smile at the kids, but I can’t face Jax. He’ll see right through me.

“What’s wrong?” Lacey leans next to me, her voice discreet. Apparently, I can’t fool her either.

“I got cornered in the bathroom by a cleat chaser.”

“And, so, it begins. Number one guide to dating a baseball player, you have to develop thick skin.”

“You’re right. I just wasn’t prepared.”

“Some of them can be ruthless. You trust him, right? He hasn’t given you any reason to doubt him.”

My gaze flicks to Jax, who’s in the middle of a discussion with Zach. His chiseled jaw, peppered with enough stubble to give him the sexy, rugged look, dips down, those broad shoulders shaking with amusement. He’s handsome as hell, so I know what the draw is for these women.

I open my mouth to answer, but the answer gets trapped in my throat when the bathroom stalker walks by our table. Jax’s gaze naturally strays to the passerby. Any trace of laughter dies when they see each other. Even though his face remains hard set, I see the slight recognition he’s trying to hide, and a piece of me wants to die. His eyes sweep to mine, and our gazes hold for a few moments, his thoughts unreadable.

“No, he hasn’t.” Until now.

“Then don’t worry about them.” She pats my arm, oblivious to the apparent ex-lover that just breezed past our table. “The woman’s ballsy, I’ll give her that.”

“Yeah.” My reply may be weak, but when Jax and I are alone, he has some explaining to do.

Trying to reason with a five-year-old is impossible. “Trenna, everything’s going to be okay. It’s just a painting.”

“But I want to sleep in your bedroom. I don’t like it.” Her eyes are wide as they stare back at me.

“Would it help if I covered it?”

“No. I still know he’s under there.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “He stares at me.”

I press my lips together to hold back a laugh. Of all the hotels we could’ve chosen, we pick the one with a creepy pirate painting. Tristan thinks he’s awesome, but the battle-scarred pirate scares Trenna to death. It’s pointless to even try making her sleep in here. She barely comes in here to grab her clothes. I’m not sure why I thought tonight would be different. Wishful thinking, maybe.

My suggestion of switching rooms got nixed by Jax. He hated to see the kids piled together in one bed, so sleeping with a kid between us it is.

“Okay, kiddo. Let’s go.”

“Pirate?” Jax asks, sipping on a drink as we pass by.

I nod. “Sorry.” I know he was hoping for bigger plans for tonight. How he hasn’t run away by this point, I’ll never know.

Once I get her settled, I join Jax on the couch. I’m exhausted right along with the kids, but there’s no way I’m ready for the night to end. It’s going to be a long six weeks without seeing him.

“What’s bothering you?” He hands me a glass of wine as I nestle beside him.

“I’m not looking forward to the time apart.” That’s not a total lie. I will miss seeing him.

“Me either, but I think there’s more than that going on inside your head.” He drapes his arm around me and pulls me closer.

I take a sip and debate telling him the truth. Inside his arm is better than the impending argument. I don’t want to leave on a bad note, but I can’t leave without asking about that woman.

“Thanks for taking me parasailing today. That was fun.” Chickening out, I steer the conversation to a safer topic.

“It’s the one thing I regretted not being able to do on your list. It was the most challenging one.”

“My sacred lists.” I laugh, thinking about how silly my dreams were. “You’re the only one who ever made me do adventurous things. The only one who cared.”

“It’s because I like making you happy.” His face is serious. “From the moment your head plowed into my chin, I wanted more.”

“My clumsiness made you fall for me?”

“Hell, yeah. You’re awkward but strong. A walking contradiction. When you dropped your planner, I couldn’t help myself. Your lists intrigued me. I had to know more about you.”

“You do realize you invaded my privacy, right?”

“God, I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

Awkward silence falls, the unspoken issues filling the thick air.

“Tell me what’s bothering you. Because I think there’s more going on than us being apart.”

He’s not going to let this drop, which is probably a good thing. I shouldn’t leave with any doubt because it will only fester. I release a slow, steady stream of air. “Back at the restaurant, that girl, the one in the red dress, do you know her?”

His mouth draws downward. “Did she say something to you?”

“When I went to the bathroom.”

“When I dicked around with these girls, I never thought about the repercussions.” He tosses his head back and runs a hand through his hair.

My heart squeezes. The thought of him being with her makes me sick. Grief, how many different women have there been? I lower my voice. “So, she’s right. You did fu—make love to her?”

His head pops back up. “Let me make one thing clear; I never made love to anyone after we split. And honestly, I don’t remember her. She cornered me in a bar in Philly, acting as if we knew each other. For the life of me, I have no idea who she is. I’m sure I never slept with her. What did she say to you?”

“She said you have an on-again, off-again relationship, and once I leave, she’ll be here taking care of you.”

“What the fuck? I don’t even know her other than her approaching me at Arti’s.” He slams his drink down. Drops spill onto the table. “Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”

I want to believe him. And for the most part, I do. But she was so sure of herself and so damn beautiful. I can’t help but wonder if I’m out of my league. I’m divorced with three kids. I have so much baggage. His hand covers mine, stilling it against my knee. I hadn’t realized I was rubbing my skin raw.

“Look, I know you have every reason in the world to be suspicious. You haven’t had a great track record with guys, but I will never cheat on you.”

“I know.”

“Do you, because this will never work out between us if you don’t. We’ll be spending a lot of time apart, and you have to trust me for it to work.”

“You’ve never given me any doubt, Jax. It’s just a little overwhelming when these model-like women—”

“Stop. You don’t think you compare?”

“Realistically? No.”

“You have no idea how sexy you even are. Like right now. You’re fucking driving me crazy in this dress all white and innocent.” He runs his hand up my leg, across to my inner thigh. “All I want to do is rip it off you and shove my cock in, balls deep.”

I gulp, my desire flickering to life. Maybe we should discuss this more, but I don’t want to spend our last remaining minutes talking about another woman. I’d rather take care of this need in between my legs. I glance at our bed and then the kids’ room. “Bathroom?”

“Bathroom.” We race to the only place offering us privacy. When the door clicks behind us, Jax turns the lock and finds my mouth. We don’t have much time—my kids are light sleepers—so I quickly undo his pants while he assaults my mouth. He walks me backward until my ass touches the counter. In one swift move, he spins me around while lifting my dress. His fingers skim down the curves of my hips until my ass fits in both of his palms. When I catch his reflection—the way the heat overtakes him as he stares at my ass—I’m so overcome with desire I’m practically dizzy. Without warning, he rips away my underwear, the material falling to my ankles.

His gaze latches onto mine and refuses to let go. “I planned on this going way different. So, I apologize for the roughness.”

“Just fuck me, Jax.” Right this minute, I need it rough. I need his cock buried deep inside me to wipe away any residual worry, to fill my mind with nothing but him.

“God, I love you.”

I don’t have time to register his words or ponder if he really means them. In a swift movement, he bends me over the counter and drives his cock inside. It’s a little painful, but a whole lot fulfilling. The moment’s so freaking hot I completely surrender. I’ve been anticipating him fucking me all day; this roughness is exactly what I need. What I want.

He grabs a fistful of my hair and tugs it toward him. My ass pushes right into him while my back arches, my chest lifting off the counter enough for him to slip his free hand underneath. His mouth zeros in on my neck, nipping, sucking as he palms my breast. He continues to drive into me with carnal force, alternating between flicking and squeezing my nipple. My hands grip the slick marble surface but there’s nothing to hang on to. I press them flat against the counter while pressure builds deep in my core. I bite my tongue to keep the moan from slipping out.

“Open your eyes,” his deep voice commands. I obey. His eyes reflect the same heated look as mine. The slapping of our hips echoing in the room and his rock-hard body slamming into mine is so erotic that it sends me right over the edge. My walls clamp down and convulse around his cock as he slams a few hard thrusts into me. When his heat fills my insides, it’s only then I realize we hadn’t used a condom. There isn’t any worry on my end, as far as pregnancy goes, but he doesn’t actually know that, yet.

“You’re so Goddamn perfect,” he whispers in my ear.