Current day

I place my hand where it’s meant to be—on top of Jocelyn’s thigh. The drive to her parents’ house yesterday can only be described as torturous. That may be a slight exaggeration, but the combination of her perfectly tanned legs and the inability to touch her proved to be as hard as hitting for the cycle. But I stayed a good boy for the kids’ sakes. Not that I haven’t touched her in front of them before, but given our recent hiatus, the last thing I want is for the kids to become confused.

Her body relaxes under my palm, and the cutest little sigh escapes her mouth. If I had to sum up my feelings into one word, I would compare it to home—warm and satisfying. Speaking of home, Jocelyn is taking me to her favorite place in Bowling View. Luckily, her aunt took over the grandma’s estate, so the land remained in the family. The area she’s showing me now is a place of solitude for her, and I feel honored she’s sharing with me.

“Your parents are great. They went all out with the southern hospitality.” Her mom had one hell of a meal prepared for us. Southern fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy with some greens on the side. I see where Jocelyn gets her cooking talents from.

“We like to keep people fed around these parts. They seemed to like you, though.”

“They’ve been very welcoming, considering recent events.” With the television networks putting my personal life on full display, her parents’ first impression of me was the guy who cheated on their daughter and dissed his own child. As if.

“I talked to them after the story broke. They understand. Of course, they don’t know about Carl’s involvement.”

My fingers grip the steering wheel tighter. There’s still a part of me that wishes I decked him, but I need to let the issue lie. I seriously doubt we’ll have any more problems with him. Which leads me to face the question that has been bugging me since last night.

“When we first arrived, what did your mom mean by looking into the bakery?”

She lets out a groan. “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”

And the uneasiness deepens a little more. “Not a chance.”

“There’s a bakery here in town.”

“The one you loved growing up?”

“Yeah.” She cocks her head and eyes me. “I’m surprised you remember. I only mentioned it once.”

“I told you I remember everything about you.” That earns me another smile, but I hope it’s enough. I don’t like the direction this conversation is leading.

“The owners are finally retiring and putting it up for sale. Mom had the brilliant idea that I should move back and buy it.” She squints her eyes and nose. “I may have agreed that’s a good idea.”

“But you don’t like living here?” My reply comes quick and a little desperate sounding.

“It’s nothing I’ve decided on, yet.”

“But you’re thinking about it?” Having her live in New York City is bad enough. If she moves down here, I’ll never see her. The closest stadium will be in Atlanta, and that won’t work. I have plans on bringing the kids and her to Philly whenever they’re free. I have plenty of money to take care of the expenses.

“I was, but nothing concrete. I’m tired of the city, and thanks to my recent unemployment, it’s an option. You know, since I’m single and all.”

“I remedied the last part pretty quickly.” I wink at her and relish the pink tinting her cheeks. I love how she still blushes after all this time. “So, where’s this elusive bakery at?”

“We’re almost to it. Right on Main Street.”

“I think it’d be worth your time to check it out.”

Her eyes sweep to mine. “I’m not sure I really want to move now.”

I don’t want her to move, but I don’t want to be the only reason she passes up an opportunity. Fuck, Carl did that enough for her. “We’re stopping to look at it.”

“No, Jax, I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“Checking out real estate is very necessary. You want to make an informed decision, right?”

She smiles. “Yes.”

“And don’t you need someone who’s an expert at eating to taste the merchandise?”

“Yes.” She shakes her head. “And I suppose you happen to know someone who fits that bill?”

“I happen to be the best taste-tester on the team.” I pull up to the curb because their huge doughnut-shaped sign is hard to miss. I intertwine our hands when we head to the shop.

A guy plows through the door right as we step toward it and almost knocks Jocelyn over.

“Jocelyn,” the inconsiderate prick says.

“Hi…” Her vacant stare makes me chuckle. Memo to self, never let Jocelyn wager my money. Her poker face needs vast improvement.

“It’s me, Devin.”

“Of course. Sorry, I haven’t had enough caffeine this morning. Mom’s making Dad go decaf. How have you been?”

“You look good.” He gives her a once-over, and I move my arm to the small of her back. His eyes trail my hand, but he doesn’t look at me. He can’t keep his eyes off her.

“You…do too.” She lies. He looks like a balding, bloated toad. A case of too many six-pack nights. But I might be a little judgmental.

“Gotta get some doughnuts for my kids.” He holds up the sack.

“Sorry, Devin, this is my boyfriend, Jax.”

The prick finally takes his eyes off her and turns to me. His eyes widen as soon as recognition sets in. “Holy shit, Jax Carrigan. Man, I thought you should’ve won MVP. You got screwed.”

When his hand reaches for mine, I reluctantly remove mine from her back and shake it. “Nice to meet you, and thanks.”

“Damn, I can’t believe it’s you. You—”

“Well, we have a full day planned, so we need to get going. It was great running into you.” Jocelyn makes her way inside, and the prick dares to check out her ass. It’s a good ass, but it’s not for public display. I step behind her, blocking his view.

His “later” fades away as the door clicks shut, and my attention shifts to Jocelyn’s dreamy childhood bakery. I swallow, taking in the appearance. What a dump. Substantial-sized brown rings stain the ceiling tiles—some old, but some fresh. Brown and tan square asphalt tiles line the floor in an intricate pattern, but I bite back the swear word. Removal will be expensive due to the asbestos weaved in the backing. I can practically hear the cha-ching of the dollar signs adding up. The counter seems original to the building and has the potential to be nostalgically cool, but it needs a good sanding down and restoration.

I would hope their kitchen has updated appliances, but I wouldn’t count on it.

“Well, looky here,” a heavy-set, gray-haired woman says behind the counter that competes with her age. “Georgie, look, it’s little Jocelyn Kennedy.”

A tall, skinny man steps out from the back room, wearing all white with a white apron doused with flour. “Well, I’ll be.”

“Come, come. Tell us how you’ve been.” The woman waves us closer. After a few minutes of catching up, we exit with a couple of sticky pecan rolls and two caffeinated coffees.

“They seem rather nice.”

Jocelyn chuckles. “They are the best. Warm and friendly. That’s Bowling View. But everyone knows your business.”

“Was it weird running into your ex?”

“So fucking weird. He’s changed. Quite a bit.” She smiles back at me. “I thought he was going to bust something when he finally realized who I was with.”

“That the real reason you brought me here? To show off in front of your ex-boyfriend?”

“Hey, coming here was your idea.”

“Oh yeah.” My teasing tone draws a smile, and I place my hand on her warm thigh again as we take off. “What did you think of your future investment?”

She gives me directions before answering. “It’s almost as I remember. Minus the years of wear and tear.”

“It’s quaint.”

“It’s a dive.” She shakes her head as I laugh. “I really don’t want to say that about their life’s work, but to bring it up to today’s standards, my standards, the building needs a lot of work.”

Relief plows through me. “Here?” I point to the oncoming road.

“Yeah. I don’t think it’s in my best interest.”

“I’d support you in whatever you choose to do. You know that, right?”

“Thank you and yes. But that’s not my solution.”

When we arrive at the place she refers to as her sanctuary, I give her a moment to reflect. The meadow overlooks a rocky stream, and the area is as breathtaking as she described. We sit on a large boulder half-covered in moss. As she stares out into the distance, there’s a contentedness, but also a sad, sort of peacefulness to her stare. She’s absolutely mesmerizing. I wrap my arm around her waist and hold her until she turns to face me.

“Thanks for bringing me here. You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I’d give you anything you want.” I reach up and wipe away the lone tear escaping. She flutters her eyelids at me and smiles.

“I love you so much.”

My chest swells. “I love you too. More than you’ll ever possibly know.”

She grabs my hand and laces our fingers together. “It feels good being back here. I came here a lot before heading off to college. It’s was such a sad time in my life. I had lost my boyfriend and best friend. Then a month later, I lost Grammie. I almost didn’t go to Penn State.” She leans back and looks at me. “Did I ever tell you that?”

“No.” My response is low because hearing about her past pain is unsettling. I hate seeing her hurt.

“I was all set to go, but when everything went down, I was going to cop out and go to the local junior college. Then one day, I was sitting out here, and a large hawk flew by. Don’t ask me why I saw the significance in that one; I saw birds all the time. But it must’ve been the wingspan that jarred my grandma’s words. So, I went back home and told my parents I was going. Luckily, they never canceled and had paid my first semester’s tuition. All I missed was half of orientation week.”

When I think of all the near misses we had and what finally brought us together, I’m struck with appreciation. “God, I’m glad you changed your mind. My life would be so incomplete without you in it.”

She stands and tugs me off the rock. “Come on. We have a way before the brook widens.”

We follow the path along the brook, walking hand in hand. After a long stretch of silence, she looks into the far distance and sighs. “Do you ever think the universe is against us being together?”

“It seems that way, doesn’t it?”

“Sometimes.”

I stop walking and draw her near me. “I think our relationship is like this stream—rocky with twist and turns. But look beyond the bend.” Her gaze follows the direction the creek bed takes. “The riverbed opens to smoother waters. I wish I could solidify our future right here and now. Lord knows, I want to, and believe me, I have plans for us. But you still need to get used to this lifestyle. It’s not easy.”

“I’m finding out.” She leans her head on my chest. “The biggest reservation I had was that I couldn’t give you children. I think my fear of you leaving when you found out kept me from fully committing. Not so much for another woman, but for one who could give you what I couldn’t.”

“Dixie, even if I could have children, there isn’t anyone I’d rather be with. You’re it for me.”

“I can handle the time apart.” She looks up at me and grins. “I can even handle the cleat chasers. I mean, what can I expect. You are the hottest baseballer.”

“God, I love you.” I don’t give her time to respond as I pull her in for a kiss. When we break apart, I look down at her. Her flushed face and swollen lips are as beautiful as the setting. “You know I’m never letting you go, right?”

“Words I’ve heard before, Carrigan.”

“Seriously, that last month we spent apart was pure torture. It did make me realize something though.”

“What’s that?”

“Without you and the kids in my life, I’m nothing. You made me miss a life I never knew I wanted. Promise me one thing. If anything bothers you, you’ll ask me directly about it. I can’t lose you ever again.”

“I promise. It wasn’t exactly rainbows and unicorns for me either.”

I take her lips one more time because, damn, I love this woman. And she’s mine. I wasn’t kidding when I told her I have plans for us. I just have to bide my time until the season ends. But we’ll have a more solid foundation this go-around.

We head back to her parents’ house where we begin our life over again, but it will be the last start over. I guarantee it.

.