Current Day

Organizational skills, a positive attitude, and a strong work ethic—attributes I excel in, yet they make no difference in holding down a job.

Fired.

From a bakery.

And the culprit behind said firing? That’s simple. Having a scandalous relationship with a teammate from a division rivalry. At least, this is what I tell Lacey during our phone conversation, while I wait for Jax.

“They fired you for that?” Lacey asked.

“Yep.” Once the news broke, Jax’s personal life become the national spotlight, being broadcast on all sports channels. Not only his life but mine too. In less than twenty-four hours, I became the scorned lover, tossed aside like some abandoned dog. Shouldn’t they be reporting, say…sports scores and stats? Then, to make matters worse, a few paparazzi show up at poor Mama Kessler’s and overwhelm my boss to the point where he lets me go.

“I can’t believe it. What are you going to do?”

“I’ve been catering a few birthday parties, so maybe word will spread, but it’s okay. With school ending, I’d be paying more in sitter fees anyway. I’ll figure something out. I’m just pissed that Carl ended up being right.”

“What do you mean? Jax didn’t actually cheat on you.”

“No, but the scandal is still there. Tristan came home from school complaining about a girl telling him I was dumb and my boyfriend was a cheater. Showed him the picture and everything. So that was fun explaining why a half-dressed woman was in bed with Jax.” I draw my legs up on the couch and squeeze the throw pillow. I hate how this affects the kids.

“Oh my God.”

“Right! I did some fancy footwork to tap dance around the topic, let me tell ya. Carl’s biggest worry was people talking crap about us, and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t right.”

“I’m sorry. That has to be rough. How’re the kids doing?”

“They’re confused but good otherwise. I have my suspicions who the girl’s mother is, but it doesn’t matter. I couldn’t care less what she thinks.” It makes things embarrassing for me and a bit violent. I keep picturing me walking over to the birthday party tent and smacking that smug little smirk off Marissa’s silicone-enhanced face. “I can handle nosy mothers. It’s Carl’s threats that are harder to stomach.”

“I don’t know why he has to be such an ass. You should have demanded higher alimony.”

“Yeah, but I was so angry at the time I just wanted to be divorced. I get a feeling him threatening custody is a ploy to get back together.”

“You wouldn’t take him back, would you?” As her question hangs in the air, I contemplate what to say. When too much time elapses, she snaps, “Jocelyn!”

“No, of course not. I’m just worried and need to look at things from all angles. I have to do what’s best for my kids.”

“Where does that leave Jax?”

I rub my palms on my knees and swallow the truth I don’t want to face. “I don’t know.”

“This really sucks. He makes you happy.”

“Yeah, I’m just soooo happy right now.” My sarcasm causes her to groan.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, but I think the universe is against me being happy.” The doorbell rings, awakening every nervous butterfly. “He’s here already.”

“You’ve got this.”

“Thanks. I’ll call you later.” I get ready to disconnect but stop when my name falls from her lips.

“Jocelyn, think of yourself and what you want for once.”

“I’ll try.”

I abandon the phone and run my fingers through my straight hair, smoothing any flyaways. I convince myself I’m ready and know what needs to be done. But when I open the door to a six-foot-two Herculean body dripping with yummy goodness, all that gets tossed to the wayside. Why does his cotton tee stretching across those broad shoulders and showcasing his trimmed waist have to be so delicious looking? He’s absolutely edible.

“You’re earlier than expected.” I step aside and swing the door wider to allow him to pass.

“I drove over last night.” He crosses the threshold but doesn’t go any farther than where I stand, and his scent—a mixture of sandalwood and cedar—consumes me. I can’t look anywhere but into those deep rich eyes. He places his hand on top of mine and gives the door a shove. So many questions swirl through my mind, but I don’t ask them, the pain and concern masking his face leaves me speechless.

He leans closer and hesitates momentarily before placing his lips on mine, soft and gentle. The kiss starts slow and tentative, as if he’s gauging my reaction. But I’ve missed this. The secureness his strong arms bring when he holds me. My body betrays me as I part my mouth and allow him access.

His hands shimmy along my sides and squeeze into my flesh as he deepens the kiss. Our tongues explore each other like this is our first time, or more like the last time, being together. The intensity grows more desperate, my body aching for him. If only our problems could be solved by a kiss. Then everything would be okay.

Tears spring to the surface as the realization crashes into me. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to let him go, but there isn’t much choice. I start shaking my head, slow at first, but he tries to hold me there. Tries to kiss our problems away, but it becomes too much. I break away with a slight gasp.

“Don’t do this.” He pulls me closer and wraps his arm around me, burrowing his nose in my hair. A sob escapes from deep inside my chest. I clutch his shirt as he tightens his hold. “Don’t leave me. Please, not this time.”

There’s something heart-wrenching when a strong, burly man who has enough confidence to fill ten stadiums cracks beneath you and practically begs you to stay. It’s enough to bring you to your knees. But if I cave, it only puts off the inevitable. The foreseeable future. I stay tucked in his arms, holding on to the last few moments until I garner control over my emotions again. “We need to talk.”

He glances toward the living room. “Where’s Mel?”

“I sent her to Ms. Neely’s. We’re alone.”

He nods and grabs hold of my hand as we make our way to the couch. There’s so much that needs to be said I don’t know where to begin. I go with being direct.

“Did you ever sleep with her?” The question needs to be asked. He denied sleeping with her when she took the pictures, but I need to look deep into those eyes while he answers.

“No.” The conviction in his voice and gaze is strong and believable. I breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Has she contacted you since claiming she’s pregnant?”

“No. Not once. She’s actually missing.”

“Missing?”

“Not in a picture-on-the-milk-carton type missing, but the reporters haven’t been able to contact her. I think she’s laying low somewhere.”

“You do realize the timeframe places conception during spring training.”

“I didn’t fuck her.”

I nod and drop my gaze to my lap.

“You have to believe me.” He places his hand under my chin, desperation heavy in his voice.

“I do believe you, but the damage is done. Do you realize my kids are being teased because of this?”

His jaw clamps shut, and he drops his hand beside him, fingers tightening into a fist. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Even though it’s not your fault, I don’t see how we can continue.”

“It will pass as soon as the next scandal surfaces.”

“That’s just it, what if the next scandal is us again?”

“It won’t be.”

“You can’t guarantee that. Remember when we started dating back in college? Women flaunted themselves in front of you—one, in particular, Marissa. Remember her?” I don’t give him time to answer, I plow forward. “She was at the birthday party when the news broke. The way she looked at me…I can handle the adults. But when it spills over to my children, I can’t.”

“This was a one-time occurrence.”

“That’s hurting my kids. Our relationship isn’t worth the risk of losing them.”

His face slackens as he shifts away from me. “I would never ask you to choose me over your kids, but for this to work, we both have to put in effort.”

“What do you mean, we? You’re the one with another woman in your bed.”

He lets out a frustrated breath. I know I’ve hurt him, but what does he expect? There was a selfie with a half-naked woman snuggled against him.

“I was asleep. AJ brought her home. Not me.”

“I know, but I can’t do this. I have kids to think about. Carl keeps threatening to take them away, I can’t lose them.”

“And you really think he’ll go through with it? He won’t even keep them the entire weekend. He’s waiting in your driveway before you get back from work.”

“Yeah, well, he wants to get back together.”

His face turns to stone, and I immediately regret leading him to believe this is what I want. I don’t. But if I don’t do something drastic, I’ll end up caving. And I can’t cave. This relationship needs to end before I sink deeper.

“You’d actually consider that? After everything we’ve been through? Everything he put you through?”

“I don’t know, okay? It’s not all about me. And what we have going on is hard, especially now with the claim she’s pregnant—”

“If that woman’s pregnant, the child isn’t mine.” He springs off the couch and starts pacing.

“How do you know, Jax?”

“Because I didn’t fuck her.”

“It doesn’t matter. I know you don’t understand, but I have to think of my kids. Getting back with their father would be the best thing for them.”

“You said yourself that you didn’t want them seeing a loveless marriage.”

“I think they need stability right now. They can’t get that with you. You said you wouldn’t prevent their happiness.”

He stops mid-step, his back toward me. I may not be able to see his expression, but I can tell by his stiffened posture that I struck a nerve. And it rips me apart. But this needs to end now.

After an excruciatingly long moment, he throws his hands up in the air and turns to face me. “You know what, forget it. Forget all of this. I’m tired of fighting with you. If you can’t let go of the past and live without the constant fear of your ex, it will never work between us.”

“You’re right. And it’s better this way.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s inevitable.”

“Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I know. One day you’ll want kids of your own, and you’ll see that I’m right. My kids will always come first.”

He opens his mouth but then clamps it shut. He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “No, that’s not it. But you know what, if you can’t trust me, or let this shit go, then this was all for nothing. You’re right. I would never ask you to choose me before the kids.”

My throat thickens with sobs as he storms out, the slamming door crumbling the last piece of reserve. This is for the best. It is. He’ll want his own kids someday. An heir to carry on his surname, and I certainly can’t give him that. I clutch the pillow to my chest and curl into a ball. Letting him go is the hardest thing I’ve done. But it’s for the best. For all of us in the long run.