Current Day

The hint of vanilla mixed with maple syrup elicits a soft moan from Lacey.

“Oh, how I missed these.”

I laugh. I miss my friend. Too much time passes in between her visits, so when she’s here, I make her favorite breakfast. Bribery by pancakes, it’s real.

“I’m famished.” She feasts her eyes on the double stack I place in front of her. She fed her son, Tommy, while the kids ate, and I know that took great restraint. “How’s the job going?”

“Different subject, please.” I plop in the seat in front of her.

“That bad?”

Her surprised tone draws a pang of guilt. The people I work for are so nice and accommodating. I have no right to complain.

“The job itself isn’t bad. It’s great, actually, but this commute is killing me.”

“I’m sorry. I wish there were something else for you.” She stabs her fork and cuts into the pancakes. “You know, everyone loved the food at my party. Maybe you should think about catering.”

“I have, but between the license and permits, the insurance, hiring employees, the startup costs alone would sink me. I’m barely scraping by now.”

“If you ever do something like that, let me know. I’ll make some calls to the Times. We had catered events occasionally, and I’m sure my old boss wouldn’t mind helping you out.”

“I thought he retired.”

“That old fart. He keeps saying he is, but he hasn’t done it yet.” She shovels another bite of pancake into her mouth. “Mmm, so good.”

“I’ll think about it. I’d need a commercial kitchen and—” My eyes widen. “Oh, I need to make a list.”

A grin stretches across her face. “Of course, if you thought about moving to Philly, I could set you up with Citizens Bank Park.”

“Ha-ha, nice try. I’m not sure Carl would go for me moving. Although I wouldn’t mind leaving the city. The kids and I went—” I stop because I haven’t told her about Jax’s visit.

“Where’d you go?”

Before I answer, Tommy lets out a big yell, buying me some time. Thanks, kid.

“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I switch topics while Lacey refills Tommy’s sippy cup.

“We’re going to my parents’.”

“What? How did this happen?” Lacey’s family disowned her when they found out she was pregnant and planned on raising the child on her own.

“Last weekend. They called and want us to visit.”

“Out of the blue?”

“Pretty much. They were watching the World Series and saw us on the field afterward.” She shrugs. “It must’ve got them thinking.”

“Wow. That’s so great.”

“I guess, but Thanksgiving will be awkward as heck.”

“How did last weekend’s visit go?”

“For the most part, good. Grandpa was great. Zach and he got reacquainted, but my parents…they’re harder. I’m trying to move forward, but there’s an invisible wedge between us.” She goes back to eating. “At least for me.”

“It has to be tough.”

“They were great with the kids, but they’ve missed so much with Zoe. It’s hard to forget and let go, but I’m trying.”

“I’m glad they finally reached out to you. It’s long overdue.” I never understood how callous and cruel they were toward her. Still don’t today. I did my best to be supportive of her through that time, and I’ll never forget how much they hurt her.

“What are your Thanksgiving plans? Are you cooking? Making any extra pies that will need to find a home?”

“Sorry, no cooking here. This is Carl’s holiday to have the kids.” Not being able to spend the day with them still bums me out. My reprieve is spending the day with Jax, but I’ll miss them.

“You’re spending it alone?” She says the word alone as if it’s a crime.

I hesitate. Telling her about Jax would be the amicable thing to do, but I know her. She’ll press for more information, and I’m not sure what there is to tell, yet. But she is my best friend. “I—”

“Mommy, Mommy, look!” Trenna runs into the kitchen carrying her doll. “Look what we did. Isn’t she pretty.”

My jaw drops. What was a beautiful baby doll has now been transformed into something unrecognizable. Thick black lines circle each eye while blue marks shade the eyelids clear to the forehead. Red squiggly lines, which I assume represent lipstick, cover the mouth clear to the chin. The doll looks like it feasted at the blood bank.

“Wow, that’s uh…”

“Oh, my… Zoe, sweetheart? Did you do that?” Lacey’s as dumbfound as me.

“Yeah, we both did! She’s purty, isn’t she?”

Lacey turns her horror-stricken face to me and mouths, “Sorry.”

“Trenna, where did the markers come from?” There are no permanent markers in this house.

“Jax gave them to me. He found them at his house and said I could draw with them.”

Lacey’s eyebrows shoot to the top of her hairline. “Jax?”

Warmth spreads to my cheeks. “Um, watch Mel, while I retrieve the markers.” I rise and ignore the thousand questions dancing around her brain.

The smirk that greets me when I return isn’t surprising. I place the contraband in a drawer and take a deep breath before facing the arsenal of questions.

“Girl, you’ve been holding out on me.” Her eyes narrow as she tilts her head. “I thought there was something different about you. You’ve been smiling more and seem like your old self. Guess I know the reason now.”

“Stop. But yeah, I ran into him a few times.”

“Really? Just randomly ran into him on the streets of New York City?”

“I know it sounds weird, but he happened to be at two of the places I interviewed for.” I go on to explain how I ended up making his grandma’s birthday cake. Lacey listened, hanging on every detail. “So, he heard me tell his grandma how I’d like to take the kids out of the city, and he ended up taking us to his property upstate.”

“Really?” She leans back in her seat. “Zach told me he hardly ever goes there. He pays someone to look after it even.”

“I got the impression the place brings too many sad memories. But it’s so perfect. We crossed a rusty iron bridge to get there. The two-story home sits up on a hill. God, it reminds me so much of my grandmother’s place. The best part is the land. There is so much space. The kids loved playing there. The cold temperature never even bothered them.”

“Is it serious between you two?”

I hesitate. “I don’t know. We said we were going to give it a go, but how serious can it be?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s a baseball player, and I’m…a mom.”

“And?”

I laugh somewhat humorlessly. Of course, Lacey doesn’t see a problem with it; she was in the same situation as me. Well, with one substantial difference, Zach’s the father to her child. I’m sure Jax will want his own kids someday. A weight settles on my heart.

“I can’t help but think this is temporary.”

“Ah, but you don’t know that.”

“And he’s been with so many women.”

“You aren’t telling me anything new. And it’s not like Zach was the poster child for sainthood. Celibacy isn’t a term these guys are familiar with. You have to look beyond that. Focus on now. That’s what matters.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Did he say you two’d be exclusive?”

“No. We haven’t really discussed terms.”

“Get that established. That way, you don’t have any surprises. Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re together.”

“Neither can I.” But for how long is the question. I stare into the living room at the kids playing. For all our sakes, I hope I’m doing the right thing.