Chapter Six
Jacob woke up in stages. It was that gradual transition from the sleeping to waking world where consciousness started in one part of your body and slowly blossomed out all around you.
Once all of his extremities had been accounted for and the horrific images in his mind had settled, Jacob opened his eyes. He sat up in bed and cracked his neck as the memories of last night’s game came back to him, and with them, the memory of Dino’s battered face.
Jacob swore softly and reached for his phone, but then he heard a muffled voice filtering into from the living room. Jacob stood, relieved, took in a deep breath and padded out into the hall.
Dino was sitting on the couch with a blanket over his knees. His hair was perfectly styled, an indicator that he hadn’t been able to get any sleep last night. His phone was in his hand, but he was gripping it gingerly, as if it hurt to tighten his fingers.
“Ma, I told you already. I’m fine. I don’t have a concussion. Just some bruising and a couple of stitches,” he said.
He paused for a beat and then let out a sigh. “I know. It’s complicated. I promise I’m all right though. I’m cleared to play in the next game and everything.”
At this, Dino finally turned and caught sight of Jacob lingering in the doorway.
“Hey Ma,” Dino said. “I’m gonna have to call you back. Love you, bye.”
He hung up the phone and tossed it aside.
Jacob took a good long look at him, neither of them saying anything. Dino’s face was swollen and dotted with patches of nasty black and yellow ringed bruises. There were half a dozen butterfly stitches above his left brow.
Wordlessly, Jacob disappeared into the kitchen and returned with an icy gel pack wrapped in a towel.
Dino took the peace offering and held it against his chin.
“Did I keep my head down enough, Cap?” he asked finally.
Jacob shut his eyes against the sting of the words.
He didn’t quite know how to say he was sorry, but there was also nothing else he could really say to make things better.
Maybe there was something he could show him.
An idea started to form in Jacob’s head. A stupid, brave, impulsive idea that tied his stomach all tied up in knots.
“You should try and get some sleep,” Jacob said and then left the room to ruminate on it.
Hours later, once Jacob was clean and Dino had napped, Jacob asked Dino to take a ride with him. Dino had been skeptical, but his curiosity had eventually won out as per usual. Now the two of them were cruising down the highway on their way to Madison.
“How much longer?” Dino asked. He did not ask Jacob where they were going, which he was glad for. He had no idea how he would have answered.
“About forty-five minutes.”
Dino nodded and said, “We’re going to miss practice.”
He didn’t sound overly concerned about it. Truth be told, neither was Jacob. Rockaway was probably gonna spend the day going over tapes anyway. This excursion was more important. Jacob could just feed the coach some bullshit about team bonding or something. Technically, it wouldn’t even be a lie.
They didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride, but the silence wasn’t a hostile one. Jacob was nervous and contemplative in a way that he hadn’t been in a long time.
He relinquished control of the radio to Dino and kept the steering wheel clenched tightly in his hands.
Eventually, he pulled off of the highway onto a familiar stretch of road, and then the even more familiar parking lot of Saint Christopher’s Assisted Living Facility.
Jacob parked the car and followed the familiar path into the network of buildings. He made a quick stop up at the front desk to sign him and Dino in before continuing on down the hallway past the office and hospital wing to the apartments and suites belonging to full-time residents.
They stopped in front of a dark wooden door with the number 87 emblazoned on it in silver letters.
Jacob didn’t bother knocking, he just barged right in.
There, on the bed was a young man, no older than twenty-five with pale skin and shockingly dark hair. His face was sharp and angular, accentuated by a hint of five o'clock shadow. He did not move or speak as Jacob and Dino entered, but his green eyes followed them into the room.
“Hey Bill,” Jacob said warmly. “This is my friend Dino.”
Dino awkwardly raised a hand. Bill looked between the two of them, eyes skeptical, but he still did not say anything.
Jacob went to sit at the chair by Bill’s bedside and took the immobile man’s hand in his.
He lost himself in the familiar feeling of talking to Bill. He told him all about the huge turnout of the last home game and how the Dells might actually make it to playoffs. He told him about the book he was reading and how his mom, dad, and sister were doing. He talked about politics and the weather and the things he was planning on doing when the off season hit.
Dino hovered in the doorway, watching it all happen.
They stayed for nearly an hour. Jacob felt so much calmer with Bill in his presence. It left no room for his imagination. With Bill in the room Jacob found the strength to focus on the way things were instead of the way they had been.
Alas, it was starting to get dark outside and Dino was growing restless.
Jacob ran his fingers through Bill’s hair.
“I’ll come see you in a few weeks, okay?”
Bill blinked twice in quick succession and Jacob nodded. He stood and gestured for Dino to follow him out.
Dino gave Bill a thin smile. “It was nice to meet you.”
Bill’s right eyebrow twitched, which Dino took to mean likewise.
Back in the car, Jacob sat up straight, hands folded on his lap.
Dino got in, clicked on the overhead light and looked at the older man, waiting for an explanation.
“Why did you bring me here?” he asked when he did not get one.
Jacob took in a deep breath and told Dino the story that plagued his nightmares for over a decade:
Jacob and Bill were sixteen years old playing in their local junior hockey league. They were on opposing teams, but held no animosity for each other. In fact, they were good friends. Everyone was. Their league was small enough that the hockey nerds had to stick together.
On this particular day, Bill and Jacob’s teams were playing each other. They were tied with seven minutes left of the second period and Jacob was on fire. He had scored two of his teams three goals and was determined to pull off a hatty.
Bill was not having any of that though. He was an incredible defenseman with all the makings of a future pro and every time Jacob was able to clear the zone and move the puck up ice, Bill was there. He wasn’t just fending him off and checking him into the boards, he was also chirping Jacob every step of the way.
Bill knew how to push his buttons like nobody else.
Finally, Jacob managed a breakaway. He skated toward the goal as quickly as his long legs could carry him, but Bill was right on his tail and he was quickly running out of steam.
Jacob reacted without thinking. He drop-passed the puck to his left winger, Zach, and stopped short so that Bill came crashing into him. Jacob spun away from the collision at the last second and somehow managed to stay standing, but Bill wasn’t so lucky.
He went airborne just as Zach shot the puck. The goaltender dived for it, and in doing so, unknowingly brought his left skate into contact with the flesh at the back of Bill’s neck.
Bill had been mostly paralyzed ever since.
By the time he finished telling the story, Jacob was crying. He’d never told anyone this before. It was a secret that he carried with him day and night, through every game and every nightmare fueled sleep.
“It was an accident,” Dino whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”
The words only made Jacob sob harder.
Overwhelmed by this display of emotion from his usually so stoic captain, Dino hoisted his entire bruised body up over the console and held Jacob while he cried.
The two of them ultimately decided against driving back to Milwaukee that night, opting to stay in a hotel room instead. All that was available at such short notice was a room with a single queen bed, but they were both too tired to care.
They each took turns in the bathroom, showering and collecting their thoughts. It wasn’t until they were both clean and sitting side by side on the bed that Dino worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been on his mind since seeing the way Jacob acted around Bill.
“Were you and Bill together?”
Jacob stared at the wall for a few seconds, refusing to look at him.
“Yes,” he whispered finally.
Dino nodded and said okay. The two of them got under the covers with an unspoken agreement to never bring any of this up again.
The two of them fell asleep several feet apart, but grew tangled as the night progressed, each of them unknowingly craving the other’s comfort in their sleep.