Chapter Fourteen
Rich
“Are you excited about this?” I gushed as Nathan glanced around the limo. This was normal for me. I was used to sitting in the back of these flashy cars, but in a weird way it was kinda nice to see it through the eyes of someone else. It reminded me of how excitable I used to be in the beginning when it was all new and magical. Seeing Nathan look around as if it was impressive showed me how jaded I’d become. “Tonight should be awesome, and I think we might actually win the award we’re nominated for.”
“What is it again?” Was I imagining things, or was Nathan’s voice actually trembling? I hadn’t ever seen him look so freaked out before, I didn’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t outgoing and confident, but this was on another level of shy.
“Best Band, or Best… Album. I can’t totally remember.” We’d earned so many awards in our career, it was hard to keep track. Not that I didn’t appreciate them all. I knew they kept us going. “I’ll ask Liam when we get there. He always knows this sort of thing.”
“Oh God, I’m so nervous to meet Liam and the others. What if they blame me for your crazed breakdown?” Now that enough time had passed, I really didn’t mind joking about it. It was an ugly period for me, but I’d gotten through it so I had to laugh now.
“They don’t. They know all about you and how you make me happy. They’re just as nervous to meet you as you are them.”
I snuck my hand into his and squeezed it reassuringly. There was a stillness in my chest now, a calmness that had never been there before. My friends were grateful that I could finally see things from their point of view. Public perception, partying, acting like a dickhead didn’t mean anything. This thing I had with Nathan made it all utterly worth it.
Thank God I’d finally gotten to that point!
“I don’t know about that.”
Nathan grabbed a bottle of water and sucked it back like he was dying in the desert. The disco lights flickered over his face, every so often making him look sickly and panic stricken.
“You will be fine, I promise you.”
As the car rumbled along the city, we both fell into a comfortable silence. At least, it was comfortable from my end, Nathan was undoubtedly getting himself increasingly tied up in knots. I wasn’t worried though. He would be fine once we arrived.
“Okay, here we are.”
The pristine red carpet lay along the ground, the vultures with their cameras, video recorders, and microphones were poised on each side. They might’ve looked like they were waiting patiently to ask sweet questions to everyone that passed, but we all knew the truth. They wanted a crotch shot, someone lying flat on their face, a drunken rage from some up-and-coming pop star with a squeaky-clean reputation. The bigger the gossip they got, the more they got paid for it.
We needed the media to climb up the career ladder, but it was a vicious cycle that came back around to bite us on the ass more than once.
“Are you all right?” I clutched onto Nathan’s hand a little tighter now, protectiveness driving me forwards. “Are you ready for this?”
“They won’t be interested in me, will they? I don’t even need to walk down the red carpet with you, do I? Isn’t there a back entrance that I can sneak in?”
I laughed loudly, the sound booming from my chest. Pre-red-carpet jitters were normal. I’d felt that way a little bit in the beginning too, but there was no way I would let Nathan out of this. I couldn’t wait to show him off to the rest of the world. Now that I was fully in this, I wanted to show him off.
“You’ll be okay,” I told him seriously. “I’ll be by your side the whole time. They will take a couple of pictures of us, I might need to answer a few questions, but that’ll be it. We’ll be inside in a heartbeat. Then there’s an open bar so we can get you a drink to steady your nerves.”
“Yeah, okay.” He nodded, a little too vigorously. “I can do this.”
“Nathan Riggs, you stood up last week in a room full of CEOs and business executives and nailed a really difficult pitch. You secured EMecap one of their biggest ever clients. If you can do that, then you can do this.”
“But that was easy,” he whined playfully. “That was just convincing people that I could do awesome stuff for them. This is attempting to let people know that I’m awesome.”
“But you are awesome, fool! Now stop worrying will you and let’s get out there.”
I had to force him out the car door, but once he was out there he looked okay. Well, sort of okay. Actually, he looked like he might vomit at any given moment, but there was no holding us back now.
“Rich, over here, Rich!”
“Who is that, Rich?”
“Did you write your latest song for him?”
I could tackle all of that, all the cheeky, invasive questions with the cheering of fans behind us. They always liked to attend events like this, even if they couldn’t get in, just to see us. I turned around to give them a confident wave, allowing their screams to drive me on.
I did it for them. For the love of music as well, but the cheers always made it so much more worth it.
“Come on.” I tugged on Nathan’s hand. “Let’s get this part over with.”
I dragged him behind me, and struck up the usual poses as my feet hit the carpet. Flashes almost blinded me, but I kept my eyes open throughout. It was even more important now that I looked good in all my images. We needed the press to grow bored of us as people and focus back on the music.
“Right, I just need to go and speak to a couple of people, answer a few questions. You can wait inside if you want.”
Nathan scurried off in a hurry, clearly this wasn’t for him but it was okay. I wouldn’t drag him along to all events. I just wanted everyone to know how happy and in love I was.
“Rich, can you come and speak to me a moment?” a sweet young girl who was clearly trying to break into the industry called out.
“Of course I will, sweetheart.” I smiled brightly and moved over to her. In just a few more moments I could be inside again.
***
“Have you seen Nathan?” I gasped to Liam as I finally managed to make it back inside over half an hour later. “I feel so bad. I promised him I would only be a moment but I got stuck talking. You know how it is.”
“Well I haven’t actually met him, so I’m not totally sure what he looks like considering you’ve decided to be overly private about him until now, but I did just see a guy racing to the toilets looking like he might throw up.”
“Oh no, that’s probably him,” I groaned miserably. “Do you think he hates it here?” Maybe I hadn’t thought this plan through as well as I assumed I had.
“It’s probably a bit intimidating, especially if he doesn’t love the spotlight. Do you remember how freaked out Nick was at first?” I really didn’t, I could only recall how I felt in the first place. I was a little afraid, but mostly I finally felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. “He had a mini panic attack, he threatened to quit the band, but now he isn’t too bad. Do you want me to come into the bathroom with you?”
“Yeah all right.” Maybe seeing two friendly faces would make this a little better. “Thanks, I know he’s scared to meet you anyway so this way might be easier.”
“Oh yeah, a bathroom ambush. Perfect.”
As Liam clapped me on the back I grinned brightly. It felt so good to have my friend back in my life. I was a lucky son of a bitch to have him back after all I’d put him and the other guys through. It wasn’t easy, there were some sticky periods in the studio and over the last few tour dates, but now things were almost back to normal.
I was even invited over to Liam and his girlfriend, Amy’s, house for a dinner party, with Nathan. Amy despised me, so this was a massive step in the right direction. Maybe one day she could even learn to like me as well…
As I swung the bathroom door open, I saw Nathan staring at his reflection in the mirror as if he was looking at a stranger. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, to tell him that it would be okay, but I couldn’t. Not right here.
“Hey, Nathan, is it?” Liam stepped forward and extended his welcoming hand. “I’m Liam. It’s nice to meet you.”
Nathan shot me a look and I nodded with a grin. “Oh hi, Liam. It’s uhm… good to meet you too.”
“I know this is a bit much, but it’ll be over before you know it. These ceremonies always are. Unless you’re going to the after party of course.”
“Or the after, after party. Which we aren’t,” I suddenly corrected myself. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just do this, okay.”
“I… I’m fine,” Nathan’s voice shook but he put on a brave face. “I can’t wait to see you guys getting your award. Let’s get out there and find our table. This is all so exciting. Plus, didn’t you say something about an open bar? A drink to steady my nerves sounds wonderful right about now.”
Liam gave me a look and shrugged. We both knew that Nathan was terrified, that this was all too much for him, but the only way we could overcome this was to plough on forwards.
It would be okay in the end…