Chapter Three
The rest of Liam's afternoon was spent alternating between staring at the empty coffee cup on his desk and attempting to concentrate on work. The shareholders were being particularly recalcitrant about the new direction he was attempting to pull their tiny firm, refusing to accept that producing online content would improve their profits, and he was running out of ways to convince them. As a result, he spent the majority of the day staring at that damn coffee cup.
Jason even had attractive handwriting.
Charlotte popped her head around the door a few times, but stopped trying to chat when she realized what a sullen mood he was in. She seemed disappointed that her coffee recommendation had failed to lift his spirits. Little did she know, Liam wasn't angry—he was just intensely confused.
Being attracted to Jason—which Liam was, he could no longer deny it—necessitated an overhaul of his personal identity. He would have to think about himself in a completely different way. Other people would think about him in a completely different way. And these were only the abstract concerns.
Was what he felt for Jason only lust? Was it friendship? Could it even be love? He didn't know, but he had a horrible feeling it could be the last one on the list. In fact, he had a horrible feeling he'd been in love with Jason for years. He thought about the way he'd felt when he saw Jason for the first time in the bistro, how he'd felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. He thought about how smug he'd felt when Jason clearly preferred his company over that of Marcus, the obnoxious young man behind the counter. And he thought about the dreams.
Over the years, he must have had hundreds of dreams about Jason. The sex dreams, he could have dismissed as an awkward quirk of his brain. But the problem was that for every dream of Jason dropping to his knees in front of Liam and looking up at him through those long eyelashes, there was one of them just cuddling on the couch, or walking their dog, or laughing and sharing ice cream. He used to think that those dreams were just because Jason had been the best friend he ever had, and his brain was just using Jason to show what kind of partner Liam wanted.
But maybe he didn't want a partner like Jason. Maybe he just wanted Jason.
And what was he supposed to do with that information? Jason could certainly do better than he. How could he even tell him and ruin their newly-rediscovered friendship? Would Jason even want to keep talking to him, now that he'd run out of his coffee shop instead of talking to him like he'd promised?
And how did he fit all of that into a text?
After almost a full day of agonizing over that question—and all the others that preceded it—Liam picked up his phone and decided to do what he’d always done with Jason. He decided to just say what he was thinking.
Hey, it's Liam. What was that weird cat that used to always hang about your house?
He’d been trying to remember that stupid cat’s name for years. Now seemed as good a time as any to ask.
He got a response almost immediately.
Snowball wasn't weird, he was beautiful.
What? Liam texted back. That monster tried to kill me!
Only because you refused to respect his personal space!
Liam huffed a laugh by himself at his desk. He could almost hear Jason’s affronted tone through his screen.
They texted back and forth for hours, until Jason apologetically texted that he had to start closing up the shop. With a jolt, Liam realized it was nearly seven o’clock in the evening, and he'd barely done any work. He couldn't bring himself to care. It was so easy to fall back into their old banter that he couldn't believe they’d spent so long apart. If he thought about it too hard his heart clenched a little in sadness, as he remembered they couldn't be anything more than friends. But if he didn't think about that, he felt…happy. Happier than he had in years.
He was whistling cheerfully while he emailed when Charlotte knocked gingerly on the door.
“Come on in,” he yelled as he sent an email with a flourish.
Charlotte looked at him quizzically. “You're in a good mood,” she ventured a little nervously.
Liam grinned at her. “I sure am,” he said.
“Oh,” said Charlotte. “That new coffee place did the trick then?”
“Yeah,” Liam chuckled. “Something like that.”