Ten
I stared in the mirror hating the reflection looking back at me. I hated looking into the eyes of the weak girl I saw. How had I come to this? I had to get out of this place I found myself in. I hadn’t seen Tyler since that day he found me after class. He’d texted a couple of times asking how I was feeling. I hadn’t answered back yet. I hadn’t decided if I would. I knew I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to, but part of me, the part I didn’t like, thought I should. Part of me was almost afraid not to.
I shook my head and focused back on the mirror and the task at hand, which was finishing my makeup so I could get to work. I’d gotten my sling off the day before and while my shoulder was still tender, I needed the money. Rachel insisted we’d be fine if I took a little while longer off, but I couldn’t do that to her. She’d already done so much for me in my life. I didn’t feel right mooching off her any longer.
I’d had class during the day and I was nearly caught up with my assignments. The motivation had been lacking, but I’d forced myself to do it and it showed in my grades. My professors had been sympathetic initially, but that didn’t extend to giving me good grades on sub-par work. I’d settle for my Cs though. At least it was finished.
Rachel was at work and the apartment was quiet. I had to admit, I didn’t like it when my sister was gone. I used to love being alone, but not so much anymore. At least I’d have the company of my customers tonight and with that, I looked in the mirror one last time, forcing a smile onto my face.
It was nearly dark when I made my way to the T. It was breezy and I pulled my sweater closer to me in the November chill. The dried leaves that only a short time ago had been a mix of blazing reds, yellows and oranges were now brown and crunchy as they rolled past me. The trees were almost bare now and it was hard to believe it was almost Thanksgiving. The last couple of weeks had been a blur and I hoped I could put it all behind me. God, I needed to.
I began walking and then the neon light flickering the O’Leary name came into view. I quickened my step and was inside the warm pub a few seconds later. I looked around and saw it was already busy. That didn’t surprise me. It was a Saturday night after all and the Bruins were playing. The usual crowd had found their places at the bar and their attention was focused on the TV above Rick, the night bartender’s, head. It was only a few minutes into the first period so I knew they’d be stuck to those seats for the next few hours.
“Long time no see, doll.” It was the loud booming voice of Seamus Callahan. He was an old man who seemed to always wear flannel, even in the dead of summer, with a thick white beard and hardly a hair on his head. He looked as if he should be on the docks in Gloucester and I wondered if once perhaps he had.
“Good to see you, Seamus,” I said, smiling at the old man.
“Where’ve you been?” he asked as he motioned to Rick to get him another beer.
“I…uh…I haven’t been feeling well,” I told him, hoping the answer would suffice.
“Everything okay, kid?” he asked and his rugged face was covered in concern.
“Yes. I’m fine,” I said, patting him on the shoulder and he looked relieved.
“It’s good to have you back,” Seamus’s buddy, Marv, added. “We’ve missed you.”
“It’s good to be back,” I told him, grateful to be back amongst these people who were so familiar to me. “Now, I’d better clock in or I’ll be out of a job,” I said, and then looked at Seamus and Marv with a warning smirk. “And neither of you dirty old men had better slap my ass tonight.”
Both men busted up laughing and nodded in promise as I grinned at them and headed towards the back room. After I’d put my stuff away, I washed my hands and then headed out to begin my night.
It didn’t take long for the place to get rowdy as the hockey game kicked into full gear and a couple of hours into my shift, the bar kept exploding and curses at the officials for calls against the Bruins rang throughout the pub. I was afraid old Seamus and Marv might have a heart attack, but I just laughed to myself and patted them each on the back to calm them before heading back to my section. I stopped in my tracks though when I saw who was sitting in one of the booths that had just been vacated.
The dark eyes of Officer Torres…Gabe, were looking back at me. I’d never seen him in anything other than his police uniform. He looked so different now. The authoritarian look I’d associated with him was now completely gone. His gray hoodie and jeans along with his faded Red Sox hat made him look as if he could’ve been the guy sitting next to me in class, not a cop. He wasn’t alone. There was another guy next to him and a girl beside him. They seemed engrossed in conversation, but Gabe was looking right at me.
I knew I looked like a fool just standing there. He smiled at me and I finally made my way over to the table.
“Hi,” I said, hoping I didn’t seem as sheepish as I felt. My words drew the other occupants of the table out of their conversation and they both looked over to me. The guy looked about the same age as Gabe and the girl couldn’t have been much older than me.
“Hi, Sam,” Gabe said and when he smiled, I saw a dimple in his right cheek I hadn’t noticed before.
“I…I’m surprised to see you here,” I said and my eyes drifted to the other two people at the table.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you either,” he said with a quiet laugh.
“I take it you two know each other.” The guy spoke up and his teeth were almost blindingly white against his dark skin when he smiled.
“Yeah, you could say that,” I said softly, not really wanting to explain why we knew each other.
“How do you know each other?” The girl chimed in this time. Her thick bouncy curls hung to her shoulder and her coffee colored skin was practically flawless.
“I nearly gave Sam here a parking ticket,” Gabe said and I looked at him gratefully for not divulging anything else.
“Almost?” the guy said, eyeing Gabe with a smirk.
“He took pity on me and let me off,” I said.
“You always were a sucker for a pretty face. No wonder you didn’t make your quota,” he said and Gabe looked embarrassed for a moment, but then he looked at me as casually as before.
“Sam, this is my roommate, Trey. Just ignore him. I always do,” Gabe said and Trey scoffed.
“It’s nice to meet you, Trey,” I said and he extended his hand across the table. I shook it and then my eyes drifted to the girl next to him, smiling at her.
“I’m Tia. This one’s girlfriend,” she said, gesturing to Trey with her thumb. He laughed and put his arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her on the temple. She started laughing, but then their eyes locked and it was as if time stood still for a moment. It was a sweet gesture and I could tell by the way they looked at each other, they loved each other. I knew it was the way a man should look at a woman…a way I’d never been looked at and I had to turn my eyes away.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said and then Trey and Tia pulled away. “Can I get you all something to drink?” I asked, trying to get back to the task at hand, which was being their waitress.
“Margarita for me,” Gina said and then I looked to Trey.
“Bud on tap, please,” he said and I nodded before turning to Gabe.
“Water, please,” he said and I was certain he saw the surprise on my face.
“That’s it?” I asked and he nodded.
“Someone’s gotta keep these two in line,” he said and he looked over to Trey and Tia with a smirk.
“He’s right. That’s why we let him tag along,” Trey said with a laugh.
“Anything else I can get for you while you look at the menu? An appetizer or anything?”
“Just some mozzarella sticks,” Tia said and I nodded, smiling at them.
“Sure thing. I’ll be right back with your drinks,” I said and I turned and headed to the bar, relieved to be gaining some distance from Gabe. I hadn’t expected to see him. It’d taken me by surprise and I didn’t know how to react. The man had been nothing but nice to me since the second I met him, but he knew things about me that no one else did. He knew who I really was and I hated that. I knew when he looked at me he didn’t see the anonymous waitress the rest of the people at O’Leary’s saw. He saw a pathetic girl and I would’ve given anything to gain my anonymity back, where I was still just the girl who received a free pass on a parking ticket.
I gathered the drinks at the bar and made my way back to the table. They were engaged in conversation, but stopped when I set their drinks down.
“Have you decided yet?” I asked, hoping to get their orders and go check on my other tables.
“How’s the bangers and mash?” Gabe asked.
“Best in town,” I told him, feeding him the line I gave every customer.
“The best in all of Boston? That’s quite a claim. Are you sure?” he asked, looking at me over the top of his menu. He was smiling in a charming way that made it impossible not to smile back.
“Truthfully,” I relented, “I actually don’t know. I’ve never tried them,” I admitted and he looked shocked.
“Never?”
“No, but I’ve been told they’re great.”
“Then I’ll try it and let you know what this Mexican boy thinks of ‘em,” he said with a playful grin, closing his menu and handing it to me before I looked at Tia.
“Fish and chips for me,” she said and I turned my attention to Trey.
“Plain ol’ burger for me, but extra pickles.”
“You got it,” I said, gathering the rest of the menus and walking to the kitchen to turn in the order. I continued to check on my other tables, but my eyes kept drifting to Gabe and his friends. They were laughing and joking and watching the game at times, but Gabe didn’t seem nearly as interested in me as I apparently was with him.
I heard the cook call that the order was up and when I returned to their table with the food, Gabe looked suspiciously at the plate I sat in front of him and picked up his fork. He took a bite and then looked at me.
“Well?” I asked. “What’s the verdict?”
“Not bad. I’ll let you know if it’s the best when I’m done,” he said and I met his eyes again, still as kind as the first time I saw them.
“I’ll be back to check on you in a few then,” I said and then turned to check on a table full of drunken frat boys. They reminded me of the night I first met Tyler. Too young and stupid to realize what asses they were making of themselves. I wished I could say these kinds of tables were a rarity, but they were almost a nightly occurrence and I’d learned to simply deal with them.
When I approached them again though, I could immediately tell their level of obnoxious was at a whole other level.
“Can I get you guys anything else?” I asked, hoping they’d say no so I could go.
“How ‘bout a trip back to my place?” one of them said, his words slow and slurred. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to the others. “I’m talkin’ to you, Samantha,” he said, looking at my nametag. “My place is just down the street and I’ve been watching you shake that ass all night. It’s the least you can do for me.”
“How ‘bout anyone else?” I said, ignoring the caveman.
“Hey,” he said, more gruffly this time, grabbing my arm. “You didn’t answer me.”
My eyes locked with his. They were cold and mean.
“Is there a problem?” The grasp loosened on my arm and I saw the guy’s gaze drift behind me. I turned to see Gabe standing there, glaring down at him.
“Just talkin’ to the lady here. Why don’t you mind your own damn business?”
“It looked to me like the lady didn’t want you talking to her in that manner,” Gabe said and I could feel myself start to tremble at the tension between the two men.
“Just go sit your ass back down,” the guy said.
“Just show the lady some respect is all I’m saying. She’s here to do her job, not be harassed.”
“Fuck off,” the guy scoffed. “Who the hell do you think you are anyway?”
I watched as Gabe reached into his pocket and then flashed his badge at the guy. Immediately, the arrogance disappeared on the guy’s face and he sat back in his chair.
“Are we all set then?” Gabe asked and the guy nodded.
“We’re good,” he said.
“I think you owe Sam an apology.”
Gabe was staring fiercely at the guy and my heart was pounding.
“I’m sorry,” he said, but I didn’t look at him. I just nodded and gathered the empty plates, walking past Gabe to take the dishes to the kitchen. My heart was still pounding from the confrontation and when I stepped back into the dining room, I saw Gabe waiting for me.
“Are you okay?” he asked and I couldn’t help but think how similar this was to when I’d met Tyler for the first time.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I sighed.
“I hope I didn’t overstep back there.”
“No,” I said, looking up into his eyes. “Thank you for stepping in. Hazards of the job, I guess.”
“Don’t downplay it, Sam,” Gabe said and I saw the way his eyebrows creased in seriousness. “It is never okay for a man to treat you like that.” I could feel a lump start to burn in my throat at his words. If only he knew how much worse I’d been treated than a simple drunk jackass grabbing my arm after some inappropriate remarks.
“I know,” was all I said softly and it grew quiet for a few seconds.
“When do you get off?” he finally asked.
“Half hour,” I answered.
“Want to grab some coffee or something when you’re done?” If he was nervous asking me, he didn’t show it. I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t know what to say.
“I…um…I don’t know…” I said, reaching up and pushing a loose piece of hair back nervously, but when I looked into his eyes again, I wasn’t nervous anymore. “Okay,” I finally said.
“Excellent,” he said. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”
I nodded and then he turned and headed back to his table.
~~~
The table of drunks was long gone when I clocked out. Trey and Tia were gone too and after I grabbed my purse, I found myself walking slowly towards the table Gabe was sitting at. He was looking at something on his phone, but he must’ve heard me coming because he put it away and looked up when I got to the edge of the table.
“All set to go?” he asked.
“Yeah. I just clocked out,” I told him as I looked around the pub that was starting to empty since the Bruins game was over.
He stood up then and we made our way outside. The temperature had dropped and I pulled on my heavy coat. Gabe had pulled his coat on too and we started walking.
“There’s a little coffee shop just up the block,” I said as we walked.
“Okay,” he said and we walked in silence until the sign for Café Java came into view. “Isn’t this near the spot we first met?” Gabe asked, looking around and I laughed, remembering the day I was running to the parking meter.
“This is actually the place I was working on my paper and then came out to see you writing me up,” I told him and we both laughed as he held the door open for me.
It wasn’t busy inside. There were a few people with laptops, probably college kids like myself, and a few tables filled with friends. There wasn’t a line and we went straight to the counter. I ordered a cappuccino while Gabe settled for a plain black coffee. I reached for my wallet to pay, but I felt his hand on my arm, gently pushing it away as he handed the barista his card.
“Thanks,” I said timidly and he looked over at me, a soft smile on his face.
“Sure,” he said as he took his coffee from the girl. My cappuccino was ready a few moments later and then we found a table in the back. I liked the seclusion it offered us. Not that it mattered anyway. Everyone else was engaged in their own conversations, not paying attention to Gabe and I.
“How’ve you been?” he asked after a few quiet moments. He took a sip of his drink and then set it back down, looking at me with those eyes as dark as the coffee in his mug.
“I’m okay,” I said and took a drink of my cappuccino.
“You look better than the last time I saw you.”
“I’m feeling better,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
“I’m glad,” he said, looking down at his coffee for a second before raising his eyes to meet mine again. “I’ve been worried about you.” His voice was quiet and I could see the concern in his eyes. “I know it’s not my place and I know it’s not my business, but I also can’t sit here with you and not say anything.” I looked up to meet his dark eyes and the way he was looking back at me made me uneasy. I knew he was uncomfortable with whatever was about to come out of his mouth and I could feel the knots in my stomach as I waited for him to say something. “I see it all the time in my work.”
“See what?” I asked quickly.
“A man should never hurt you,” he said softly and I looked away from his eyes and down at the table because I could no longer look at him, not with the shame I felt. “And I see it too much. Too much.” His voice was soft and he shook his head. “I saw the bruises on your arm that day at your apartment when I was there with Detective Blanchard.” I felt a lump forming in my throat. I’d known he’d seen them. He’d looked right at them, but to hear him say it was too much. To sit across from him, knowing he knew my secret, it wasn’t something I was prepared for.
“You’re right,” I said defensively because it was all I could think to do. “This isn’t your business. You don’t know my situation and you don’t know me.”
He waited a second to respond, but he never looked away from my eyes.
“I saw you that night though and I saw that you could’ve died.”
“I fell down the stairs. Detective Blanchard even said that. It was an accident. No one did that to me but myself.” I could tell by the way he was looking at me he didn’t believe that.
“I just want you to be safe and if you’re not…” he said, but I interrupted.
“I was stupid. I know that, but Tyler Reeves,” I said softly, “he’s not in my life anymore.”
“You are not stupid. You never were,” he said and I could feel my throat tightening. How could he sit across from me and actually tell me that? I was stupid. It was my fault for ever getting involved with him; for letting him do the things he’d done to me.
“It’s over, so you don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can stop wondering if the girl from the parking meter is okay because I am,” I said forcefully to him. “I can just be a story you tell from now on.”
“You’ll never be just a story,” he said adamantly. “No one is just a story and I care about what happens to you. I want you to know that.”
“Why?” I asked softly. “Why do you care so much? You don’t even know me.”
“I don’t have to know you,” he said, pausing before continuing. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened to you that night…the night I got the call and found you at the bottom of the stairs.”
“I can’t be the first person you’ve helped.”
“No, you’re not, but it was different this time.”
“Why?”
“I knew it was you the second I stepped into your building. That changed everything.”
“You only met me that one time though,” I said softly, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, feeling my anger from earlier subsiding.
“Sometimes that’s all it takes.” He smiled at me and I felt my cheeks grow warm as I looked down at the table top. “I’m sorry,” Gabe said, his voice low and sweet, drawing my eyes back to him. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t,” I lied. His comment had me uncomfortable. No one had ever said anything like that to me before and I didn’t know what to do with the information.
“Sometimes with this job…there are moments that stick with you more than the rest. Sometimes I just want to forget what I see…what I have seen and sometimes certain cases hit you harder than others…like yours.”
“Why though?” I asked quietly, nervously running my thumb over the handle of the mug.
“That day at the parking meter,” he began, “you…you uh…you made me remember you.” Gabe seemed nervous now and I was flattered, even though I couldn’t for the life of me understand how I’d accomplished that.
“How?” I prodded nervously. I was surprised by my persistence. I was having a hard time understanding Gabe though and why I had been anything more than a case to him.
“I don’t know,” he said, looking across the table at me. “Have you ever met someone that you instantly want to know more about?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m not sure I have,” I answered and I watched as he cocked his head to the side a little as if he was thinking.
“I felt sorry for you that day. The way you ran up that hill. I thought you were going to start screaming at me,” he said with a quiet laugh. “You didn’t though. You were the epitome of respect, which frankly, I don’t come across as much as I’d like to. I felt like a jerk writing that ticket.”
“You shouldn’t have. It was my fault,” I sighed, thinking back to that day. “I should’ve been keeping better track of the time. You should’ve just written me that ticket and let me pay my debt to society…not that I would’ve been able to afford it,” I said and we both laughed quietly.
“Then you would’ve hated me and I couldn’t have that.” I felt myself blush again.
“No, I wouldn’t have,” I told him and he smiled again.
“I couldn’t take the chance,” he said and I smiled back at him before it grew quiet again.
We each took a few more sips of our drinks and then he leaned forward across the table towards me. “I won’t pretend to know you, Sam, and I’m sorry if I upset you earlier, but I really just want to make sure you’re okay.”
I swallowed hard, thinking about what I should say. I didn’t know how to answer Gabe. I didn’t even know the guy and yet he’d shown more concern about me than anyone other than my sister. I knew I couldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t have believed me even if I had.
“I’m not,” I finally said as I bit back the tears. I could not shed a single pathetic tear in front of him. “I don’t think I’m okay.” My voice was soft and I knew it sounded weak, but I didn’t cry. I watched as Gabe’s face softened. He’d already known the answer, but hearing it from me solidified everything he’d said earlier.
“You will be,” he said and then I felt a weight on my hand. I looked down to see his hand resting on mine. The feeling of his skin took me back to that night as I lay at the bottom of the stairs, scared and confused, but finding comfort in the same soft voice I heard now and the hand that now guarded mine.
“Maybe I will be,” I answered and he held his hand over mine for a few more seconds before slowly sliding it off just as the ringing of my cell phone interrupted the silence that had settled in. I reached for it quickly and saw it was Rachel. “It’s my sister,” I told him and he nodded.
“I just wanted to check in. I just got home and thought you’d you be back by now,” she said the moment I picked up.
“I’m out with a friend getting some coffee,” I told her. “I’ll be home soon.”
“Okay. I just wanted to check in.”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’ll always worry,” she said and I sighed.
“I know you will.”
“I’ll see you soon then,” she said and hung up.
“I should probably get home,” I said, putting my phone away and looking across the table at Gabe. “Rachel has a tendency to freak out and she expected me home already.” I started gathering my things and then stood up. Gabe did the same and he followed me outside the coffee shop back into the cold air.
“I’m glad I ran into you tonight,” he said.
“Me too,” I told him and I meant it, even though he’d upset me earlier. Deep down I knew that the anger had been because hearing the truth hurt.
“Which way do you go?” he asked and I pointed down the street. “I’ll walk you home then.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Of course, I do. I’m not going to let you walk alone this late.”
“Thank you,” I said softly. He smiled again and he got in step beside me as we made our way to my apartment. We walked in silence for a while before he spoke.
“Do you walk home by yourself every night?” he asked a few minutes later.
“Whenever I have to work. It’s really not that far. It’s not worth bringing the car,” I told him and then I turned to see the apprehension on his face. “I take it you don’t approve.”
“I’m sure you’re very capable of taking care of yourself, but yes, it makes me a little uneasy.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said and I saw him recoil a little.
“You don’t know what I know.”
“Maybe it’s best I live in my naiveite then. Maybe I don’t want to know about the monsters lurking around every corner,” I told him.
“You’ve got a good point, but you can’t always be complacent,” he said and we kept walking.
“You see a lot of stuff then?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why do you do it then?” I asked him.
“Because sometimes I can do some good,” he said, his voice soft as he spoke.
“It can’t be easy though.”
“It’s not.”
“Do you think it’s worth it?” I asked.
“I know it is,” he said just as we approached my apartment building. We stopped at the door and it was quiet for a few moments.
“Thank you for walking me home,” I told him and he nodded.
“It was my pleasure,” he said and then I motioned towards the door.
“I should probably get inside before Rachel sends out the cops to look for me.”
“You can tell her they’re already here,” he said and I had to smile at his joke.
“True,” I said and it grew quiet again for a few moments.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped earlier,” he said and I could tell he was nervous.
“It’s okay. I…I appreciate your concern,” I stumbled. I did appreciate it, but I hated that he even knew about it in the first place.
“I hope this isn’t presumptuous, but,” he began and I could sense his nerves again, “it was nice talking to you tonight. Can I see you again?”
I didn’t know what to say. I’d liked talking to him too, despite everything earlier. I wanted to see him again and get to know this man better, but I didn’t know what any of this meant. He was a cop, the cop who’d found me at my most vulnerable, a cop who knew too much about me, and despite all of this, he still wanted to see me. I couldn’t understand why.
“Is this even okay?” I asked.
“What?”
“You and me, hanging out. Is it okay with everything that happened?”
“I was just the reporting officer. According to Blanchard, your case is closed. Now we’re just two people.”
“You know that’s not true. We’ll never be just two people, not after what you saw…not after what you know.”
I watched as his concern washed over his face.
“That’s not how I see you. I just want to know you.”
Our eyes locked again and the kindness I saw in them wasn’t something I was used to, but I knew I didn’t want to tell him no. I wanted to know him too.
“Okay,” I said quietly, trying to flash him a soft smile.
“I’ve got tickets to the Pats game on Sunday. Can you come?”
“Yeah, I think I can,” I told him and then reached into my purse for a pen. I clicked the top and then took his hand, writing my number onto his palm, feeling very much like a teenager again.
“I’ll text you the details,” he said, looking down at the blue numbers scrawled on his skin. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too,” I said, smiling at him once more before unlocking the door. He watched until I was safely inside before leaving. I turned to head up the stairs, but then I stopped, my eyes fixated on the spot where Gabe had found me that night. So much about that night was a blur, but one thing that wasn’t was the comfort I felt in his arms that night. It was as clear as day to me.
I took a deep breath and headed upstairs. I unlocked the door to find Rachel sitting on the couch in her sweats, reading a book. She looked up when she saw me and I smiled at my sister before closing the door.
“Hey,” I said, setting my keys and purse on the table. “How was work?”
“It was okay. What about you?”
“It was fine,” I said, heading down the hallway to the bathroom. I liked to shower after a night at O’Leary’s. I always felt like there was a fine layer of grease on my skin after a shift. I felt good after my shower and went to my room to change into my pajamas. There was a knock on my door as I ran a brush through my hair.
“Come in,” I said and Rachel peeked in a second later before walking in.
“So, you went for coffee after work?” she asked, settling herself on my bed.
“Yeah. It was nothing. Sorry to worry you.”
“I didn’t mean to call and nag. I was just surprised you weren’t home. I got a little worried. Did you have a good time?”
“I did,” I said, looking at her suspiciously. She was doing a terrible job of hiding her concern. “You think I was out with Tyler, don’t you?”
“No…no…I didn’t say that,” she stammered.
“You don’t have to say anything. I know exactly what you’re thinking,” I told her and it grew quiet for a few moments. “And just so you know, I wasn’t with Tyler so you can stop thinking that.”
“Who were you with then? I mean…no offense, Sam, but other than Tyler, you haven’t been out with anyone in a long time,” she said and I felt myself cringe at her words because they were true. Once I was with Tyler, he was my life.
“Actually,” I began hesitantly, “I was with Gabe.”
I watched Rachel’s face, realizing it wasn’t registering with her.
“Gabe? Who’s Gabe?”
“Officer Torres,” I said and my sister’s eyes grew wide and she seemed to jump back a little when she realized who I was talking about.
“Officer Torres? What? Why were you out with him?”
“He was at the pub tonight and we got to talking. He asked me to get some coffee with him.”
“Why?” she exclaimed.
“I don’t know,” I said softly, shrugging my shoulders. “I guess he wanted to check on me and see how I was doing.”
“That was it?” she asked.
“Yeah. We just talked,” I said quietly and then stared down at my bedspread.
“It seems a little strange though, don’t you think?” she asked skeptically. “I mean, he’s not just some guy. He’s a cop,” she said and then paused before continuing. “He’s the cop who was there when it happened.”
“I know that, Rache. I thought it was a little odd too, but…but it wasn’t. Not after we talked. He asked me to the Patriots game on Sunday.”
“Like on a date?”
“He just asked me to go. I wouldn’t call it a date.”
She didn’t say anything, but I watched as her eyebrow raised and she gave me that look I’d grown to know so well whenever she was unsure of something I was doing.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this? With everything that’s going on with Tyler?”
“Nothing’s going on with Tyler anymore.”
“We don’t know that,” she said and I could hear the frustration in her voice. “I know you don’t remember and I know what that dick of a detective said, but I won’t believe Tyler isn’t responsible for what happened to you until you remember and can tell me yourself.”
I sighed and buried my head in my hands for a moment to collect myself before looking into the eyes of my sister. I knew she cared. She loved me more than anyone on the planet, but all I wanted to do was move past my history with Tyler.
“I don’t know what happened and I wish I did. Believe me, I want to know what happened to me more than anything, but I don’t remember and I don’t know if I will. So all I want is to move on. I want to put Tyler as far behind me as I can and I can’t do that if you won’t let it go. So, please,” I said, reaching over and taking her hand, “let it go.”
She didn’t say anything right away as she looked at our hands, but she nodded and then looked back up at me.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I don’t mean to upset you.”
“I know you don’t,” I said, smiling at her to let her know I really did appreciate her concern.
“And you like the cop?”
“He’s a nice guy. It’s not even romantic. We just talked. That’s it.”
“But, you liked talking to him?”
“Yeah,” I said softly, thinking back to our conversation and smiling.
“Then Sunday should be fun,” she said, squeezing my hand and then leaned in, hugging me. “You know I love you, Sam. I just want you to be happy.”
“I love you too, Rache,” I said and then she pulled back, smiling at me again before walking out of my room.
I sat in silence for a few moments thinking about my conversation with my sister. She was skeptical. She was worried, but I knew when she said she wanted me to be happy, she meant it. I hoped that for myself too. I knew I hadn’t been happy in a very long time, even though I told myself I had been, and while Sunday was only a football game, for the first time in a long time, I had something to look forward to.