My father’s first successful restaurant—and his favorite to this day—is The Glenn. The family enjoys a large, loud meal here weekly at the back table. One of the mini-twins’ first words were “The Genn.” The kids grew up loving steak and potatoes just like their peepaw.

The Glenn is where we take Cooper and Audrey Johansson for dinner. Despite people waiting in line to get inside, our large table in the back is empty when we arrive. The staff hurries over to take our orders. Our guests choose steaks after Dad insists The Glenn’s are the best in the state.

Audrey looks mir-fucking-raculous in a simple gray shirt and blue jeans. Her thick hair is pulled back in one of those half-ponytail things. Having her face uncovered, allows her fantastic features to shine. Dark brows and lashes framing golden-brown eyes, and those damn pouty lips leave me wanting to crawl across the table to kiss her.

“This is good steak,” Cooper says after dinner arrives. “Don’t know about the best, though.”

Dad licks sauce from his lips and smirks. “No accounting for taste, Kentucky Cunt.”

“Reading between the fucking lines tells me you’re a jealous man wishing he came from a better fucking state.”

“Don’t start the state debate stuff, Pop,” Audrey mumbles. “They’ll never admit they come from a forsaken land of manure and puss. Why waste your breath on the subject?”

“Glutton for punishment, I guess.”

With the fathers pulling their bullshit and Audrey too far away for me to fondle, I decide to start shit. It’s my family’s way to make a tense situation worse.

“So tell me, sage elders, when did you two come up with the plan to play matchmakers?”

“Wait, what?” Audrey asks.

Cooper shakes his head. “The giant’s talking out of his ass.”

“I’m known to do that, but not this time. I can prove it too.”

“Then do it or fuck off,” Cooper growls.

“Let’s start with your private meeting yesterday when you arrived at the office. What would you two need to speak about without me involved?”

“Grownup talk,” Cooper mutters, flashing a frown at my father who never stops eating.

“Then there was the pool. That’s when I knew you hags were playing matchmaker. After all, what kind of man doesn’t show up to make threats when his baby girl is swimming half naked with a good-looking bastard like me?”

“I trust Audrey,” Cooper says while she rolls her eyes next to him.

“Dude, everyone knows you don’t trust the half-naked man. That’s why you make the threat. Unless I’m supposed to believe you’re unconcerned about the virginity of your princess.”

“Hey, don’t tell him about my virginity,” Audrey grumbles, stabbing her meat mercilessly.

I snort. “As if he doesn’t know.”

“How would he?”

Cooper gives his daughter a shocked frown. “I know everywhere you go and everything you do.”

“And apparently everyone you do too,” I say, taking a bite of steak.

“Shut up,” Cooper and Audrey growl in unison.

I grin at their matching anger. Audrey turns in her seat to glare at her father. “What do you mean you know everything?”

“People watch out for you.”

“But that doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“Fine, not everything,” Cooper says and shrugs. “Just nearly everything.”

“I feel violated.”

Cooper sizes up his daughter as if she’s nuts. “How could you not know?”

“You don’t have Rando watched.”

“Of course, I do. How else would I know she’s a virgin too? In fact, in her case, I’m why she’s still a virgin. A lot of Ellsberg assholes suffered blue balls because of my interference.”

“How dare you?” she cries, but Cooper just waves off her indignation.

“I do what any father would do.”

“No, I don’t know any other father who acts like that.”

“I do,” Dad says. “I once had a woman removed from town because I worried she’d stink up my other boy, Chipper. Men with power need to use that power for good.”

Audrey isn’t any more intimidated by my father than she is by hers. She glares at Dad and spits out, “Meddling is what you do.”

Dad shrugs with the same smug indifference as Cooper. “You’ll understand one day, kid.”

Audrey turns her irate gaze back to her father. “So you only brought me here to offer me as a tribute to your buddy?”

“Do you see what I mean about the drama?” Cooper asks Dad.

“The women in my world can’t survive without drama,” Dad replies. “I’ve seen them lose their shit over a lack of croutons in a salad. Your kid is mild in comparison.”

“I pity you.”

Dad stops eating long enough to unleash a hellish glare on Cooper. “My hot blonde wife makes it worth it.”

“My hot brunette wife makes your wife look like shit.”

Dad and Cooper scowl at each other, and I imagine them growling their way through many future holidays.

“How did you know Audrey and I would click?” I ask Dad.

“We didn’t. Johansson has three single daughters. We started with the best option. If she didn’t work, we planned to try with the other two.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Audrey cries. “You thought Cap might hook up with Rando or even Lily the Princess?”

“Your sister isn’t prissy like that,” Cooper says on cue, and I sense this is an argument they often have. “She just wants a good man to create a family with. You should be nicer to her.”

“Suck it, Pop. You lied to me.”

“Everyone lies to everyone.”

“Then can I lie to you?”

“I would assume you already do,” Cooper says without missing a beat.

Audrey realizes her father isn’t crumbling under the heat of her anger. Crossing her arms, she mumbles, “It’s still not right.”

“Is Mom in on the plan?” I ask Dad.

“Of course. It was her idea. One night during a commercial break, she mentioned how you needed to expand your dating options. That’s when we remembered how Johansson had a lot of single daughters. I figured one of them might not suck.”

Cooper glares at Dad who only smiles and chews on his steak. My gaze finds Audrey. Why’s she so outraged? She wants her parents’ attention, and they cared enough to manipulate her into meeting a hot guy like me.

“So what are your other daughters like?” I ask Cooper, and Dad nearly chokes on his steak.

Audrey’s raging glare leaves Cooper and locks onto me. Cooper might sense where I’m going or maybe he wants to fuck with Audrey. For whatever reason, he’s game for describing his daughters.

“Lily is a lot like her mom. Well behaved, hard-working.”

“Won’t fit in with our family,” Dad says instantly. “She sounds like a dud.”

Cooper frowns at the insult. “Lily is too good for your shit family.”

“And I’m not?” Audrey cries.

Cooper sighs, acts as if he might comfort her, and then shrugs. “You’re a handful.”

“What does that mean?”

“Look, baby, it’s not an insult to say you need a special kind of man to put up with your shit.”

“And Rando?”

“She’s unique.”

“If she can snark,” Dad says before I can speak up, “this Rando might be an option. Is she a hard worker? I already have a daughter-in-law like that, and I’d prefer not to have another. Tatum makes me feel guilty for sitting on my ass.”

“Rando works hard on particular things.”

“Stupid things,” Audrey mumbles, and I smile at her sullen mood.

“Unique things,” Cooper clarifies.

“This girl,” Dad says and leans forward to ask Cooper, “she’s an oddball weirdo, right?”

“Fuck off, Hayes.”

“Don’t be so sensitive, Johansson. Not everyone can have three solid kids like me. Most end up with a few duds like you did.”

Cooper and Dad glare at each other, although my father also manages to juggle a smirk during the scowl. I ignore them and focus on Audrey. She finally acknowledges my gaze on her.

“I’ll give you Rando’s number,” she mutters, glowering at me.

“I don’t like geese.”

Audrey blinks a few times before realizing I remember her story from last night. Smiling slightly, she loosens up. “You got lucky with me.”

“I don’t disagree with you there.”

Her smile grows, and all the tension in her little shoulders fades away. Digging into her steak, she keeps grinning because she knows what I do. Her pop’s meddling handed her a fucking romantic goldmine that her older sisters never could have won.