Cap warns me that my parents won’t want to hear about baby plans or anything heavy during their first visit. He assures me the conversations can be kept lighthearted to help Mom and Pop ease into the new situation. I listen to him make these proclamations and love him more with each one. That doesn’t mean I’m not worried I’ve fucked his sanity away because there is no way my parents will relax this weekend. Pop called me every day to ask if anyone needed killing. When I said no, he hung up. I’m a little hurt by his coldness, but more entertained by how angry he is by the move. Selfishly, I think I’d feel worse if he was perfectly okay with my being gone.

I’m relieved Tatum agrees to come to the house before my parents. She’ll act as the voice of reason, and her babies will distract everyone with their cuteness.

“I’ll want her back,” Tatum teases before handing Sierra to me.

“She looks so happy today.”

“Her tooth came in. The world no longer sucks.”

Chipper enters the house with Mesa on his back and Ridge hanging from his front. “I found these mooches outside. Anyone want to feed them while I take a shit?”

Walking to her son, Candy smiles warmly. “Break the toilet, and you buy us a new one.”

“I know the rule. Now, which kid do you want?”

“Both,” Candy says, turning so they can climb onto her. Falling dramatically to her knees, she pretends they weigh a ton. The kids laugh, crawling all over her as she collapses to the ground.

Holding Sierra, I’m psyched everyone is in such a great mood. Then Hayes goes and craps on my hopes and dreams.

“Don’t get too comfy with that smile, kid,” he says and takes Sierra from me. “Your father is a full-on raging asshole, and he’s got something to prove.”

“And what would that be?”

“I don’t know,” he says and nuzzles his nose against Sierra’s. “Does he have a small dick?”

“How would I know?”

“I assumed you’d caught a glimpse. How big is your fucking house?”

My temper demands I stand up for Pop and slap back at Hayes who very much enjoys poking me. The only problem is Sierra grabs his beard with both hands and starts laughing. How can I remain pissed when this adorable baby insists on making her peepaw look harmless?

“Did you want to say something?” Hayes asks, still stuck in his granddaughter’s death grip.

“No. I’ve never been happier.”

Hayes narrows his eyes while grinning at my refusal to complain. I’m starting to figure out the giant bastard. Nodding at my sly smile, he walks toward the kitchen. I watch him go and wish I could steal back Sierra.

“Will Cricket be here later?” I ask Candy who rests on her back with the kids using her as a pillow.

“She went to West Virginia for the week. They’re having an early Halloween party with Poet’s banjo family.”

“How do they work out the holiday situation?”

“Well, that reminds me. Some of Poet’s family will be here for Thanksgiving, but we’re having Christmas in Rawkfist this year. You don’t have to come, of course, but I wanted to let you know the plan for this year.”

“We’re driving to Wyoming for New Year’s,” Tatum says from the kitchen where she chops cucumbers. “It’ll be the first year Sierra can enjoy the snow.”

The baby cries out joyfully at the sound of her name, even though her wide-eyed gaze remains on Hayes’s giant fingers. He keeps snapping, and she claps as if he’s terrific. I remember pictures of when I was a kid sitting on Pop’s lap. He looked so casually cool with his tatted arms holding a baby.

I’m still thinking of his arms when Cap opens the front gate for Pop and Mom’s SUV. Rather than head to the front door to welcome them, he chooses to take Mesa and Ridge into the backyard to play. I frown as he waves from the outside of the sliding glass doors.

Once I’m wearing my jacket, I hurry outside to greet my parents. My smiling mother waves from the passenger seat. She looks happier than I expected. Pop, though, wears a foul expression reserved for those he truly despises.

My heart soars to see him so miserable. Knowing how much Pop loves and misses me, I barrel against him once he steps out of the SUV.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist.

Caressing the back of my head, he grumbles, “Why, are you ready to escape this shithole?”

I smile up at him. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Punk,” he mutters and messes up my hair. “Hug your mom, so she doesn’t get jealous.”

I walk around to where Mom stands. “Haven’t Lily and Rando been hugging you enough?”

“Rando pets me a lot, but I think she just wants a cat.”

“What about Lily?”

“She’s been hiding a lot. She and Colt are fighting, and threats were made about wiping shit in her hair.”

“Man, I so do not miss those freaks,” I say, taking her hand. “I missed you and Pop, though.”

I guide Mom to the front door while Pop shuffles along, fully embracing his pissed little-boy impression.

“Cap’s out back with his niece and nephew. He’s so good with kids.”

Pop snorts dismissively, but I only smile wider. Every time he acts like a brat, I know he misses me. Mom cries when upset, Pop pitches a fit like a tatted toddler.

Stepping into the house, I’m relieved Candy is off the floor since she was looking ready to nap down there. Now she stands in the kitchen next to Tatum. Hayes sits nearby, watching Sierra struggle to crawl.

“So this is where you live,” Pop says, entering the house. “I expected more of an underground bunker vibe with gun racks on the walls and stacks of MREs.”

Hayes immediately smirks. “Johansson, here’s a fucking tip. If you want an underground bunker, you build that shit underground.”

“Always a fucking charmer.”

Candy leans against the counter and lifts her cup. “If this is a fucking contest to see who can say fucking the most, throw my fucking name into the fucking ring.”

Everyone looks to Mom to see if she’ll join in the cussing extravaganza. Instead, she pretends not to notice.

“She doesn’t have a trash mouth like some low-class women,” Pop tells Hayes.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Can’t win them all, huh, buddy?”

Pop looks ready to throw down with Hayes, but the clapping baby puts a damper on the hostilities. Instead, he just growls, “What’s with the buddy shit?”

“I called a guy ‘buddy’ a few years back, and he pissed himself. It’s been a very special word for me ever since.”

“You live such a heartwarming life,” Pop says in his most sarcastic tone.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“My jeans remain dry,” Pop says, glaring hard at an unimpressed Hayes.

“Give it time.”

“Anyone want booze?” Tatum asks.

“Already drunk but thanks, pumpkin,” Candy replies and settles into her recliner. “We have some sweet-as-sin West Virginia moonshine in the fridge if anyone wants to join me in the blitzed-out fun.”

I know my pop wants a taste of that moonshine, but he refuses to chill and let his guard down. Despite her lack of interest in booze, Mom walks into the kitchen and asks for a cup. She probably hopes the moonshine is strong enough to move from her system into Pop’s based merely on their psychic love connection. If any two people can accomplish this plan, it’s my mom and pop.