Hiding outside with Mesa and Ridge, I can only guess at the drama unfolding inside the house. Farah is nervous. Cooper is rude. My father meets that rudeness with his own. My mother joins into the men’s crap. Only Tatum will remain calm because she’s been low-level exhausted since Sierra’s birth, and I don’t think much fazes her these days.

Finally, Audrey will try to play peacemaker despite her lack of experience at this skill. Sooner or later, she’ll become so annoyed by their bickering that she’ll retreat to the backyard to find her backup. That’s when I get to shine.

Until that moment, I collect leaves with my niece and nephew. I’m in charge of locating yellow ones from the yard. Mesa occasionally stops what she’s doing to make sure I’m not falling down on the job. The kid’s quite the taskmaster. Tatum calls Mesa her second-in-command because the child loves to supervise the shit out of people.

The only one allowed to slack off is Ridge. Like right now when he gets distracted by birds on the roof and forgets all about finding orange leaves.

“Are you getting married?” Mesa asks, exaggerating the last word.

“Yep.”

“To Audrey?”

“Who else?”

“I want you to marry Keanu.”

Glancing at where she piles her red leaves, I’d bet anything that she gets these ideas from her father. Chipper has long suggested I marry my best friend since no woman could ever put up with my shit. Usually, Mom and Cricket will pipe in and state any woman would be lucky to marry an honest-to-goodness angel. Their ribbing is fun shit, but no doubt goes over the head of a six-year-old like Mesa.

Audrey steps outside and shuts the heavy glass door behind her. I smile at her approach, knowing she’s irritated I ditched her.

“The children didn’t need to hear the fuck-a-thons,” I say before she can complain.

“As if they don’t hear it every day.”

“Fine, they didn’t need to listen to your father poop his grown-man panties.”

Audrey mock slaps my arm. “I’m hiding out here with you for a little while.”

“Cowardly behavior is something I approve of. Now help me find more yellow leaves before Mesa yells at me again.”

“She yelled at you?”

“Yeah, but in her defense, I was playing on my phone.”

“I used to be confident like her,” Audrey says, zipping up her jacket before studying the ground for more yellow leaves. “Then someone pointed out how I was only important because of my last name. I hope no one ever throws that shade on Mesa.”

“Wouldn’t matter if they did. She’d tell us, and we’d talk shit about that person.”

“I don’t know if that would have helped me because the bitch had a point.”

“Then I’d say it was a great thing for you to move to White Horse where no one gives a flying fuck about the name Johansson. You’re just a hot girl here.”

Audrey smirks. “Who happens to live with the most powerful family in town.”

“True, but people here are less in tune with our family’s power. I suspect that has something to do with the town's proximity to Nashville. Also, we don’t ride around in groups on loud Harleys while wearing matching outfits like some attention-desperate people.”

Grinning, Audrey shakes her head. “I saw a few of those Serrated Brotherhood fuckers while I was at lunch a few days ago. I couldn’t believe how out of place they seemed riding down Main Street.”

“Yeah, but head one town over to Hickory Creek Township, and the locals bow to their Harley-riding, vest-wearing overlords. It’s a different mentality. Somewhere between Ellsberg and White Horse. Uppity rich people and rowdy bikers. If you ever want to slum it but don’t feel like driving to Kentucky, that’s where we should head.”

“If I weren’t so in love with you, I’d be furious about your assessment of my hometown.”

“That was my plan all along,” I say, hugging her against me.

“Uncle Cap,” Ridge says and hands me a rock. “I found this over there.”

“Okay, thanks, man.”

Once the kid turns away, I toss the rock into the shrubs and smile at Audrey. “He’s always giving me shit to clean up. I seriously don’t think these kids have any idea who they’re treating like the help. I’m Cap Hayes, dammit. Give me some fucking respect.”

Audrey studies Ridge who arranges his five orange leaves. “Mom and Pop are drinking moonshine. I planned to wait outside until they were drunk enough to chill. Unfortunately, it’s so cold.”

“It’s only like forty out.”

“I’m not a fan of the cold.”

“I love snow,” Mesa announces from nearby. “Mommy loves snow too.”

Leaning down, I whisper in Audrey’s ear. “She’s really into her mom.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Think your parents will want to help us paint the rental house?”

“No.”

“What if we offer pizza and booze?”

“Colton would drive down for free booze, which is weird since he has the money to pay for it at home.”

“Booze is always better when it’s free.”

“Lily would help if I asked nicely. She’s a wuss that way, but she would take two hours to paint one area of a wall. She’s very particular about things.”

“And Rando?”

“She’d do it for sweets but not pizza or booze.”

“Sweets it is.”

“Why is it so important for Rando to help?” she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

“She did a great job on that sketch of you. I figure she has solid brush control so she can do the trim.”

“Smart,” she says, smiling brightly now. “Maybe when we have our baby, Rando will sketch it.”

“Think she’d do one of those creepy murals that weirdoes have in their nurseries?”

“I don’t want one of those.”

“It would freak out Cricket. I don’t know why, but she can’t handle that shit. Keanu used to have a dino mural in his room as a kid, and she’d never take her eyes off it as if she thought the damn thing might come alive and attack.”

“So you want to torment our child as a way to torment your adult sister?”

“Yes, and I resent your tone. Tormenting Cricket is one of my hobbies. I’d like you to respect my creative outlet.”

Rolling her eyes, Audrey walks over to where an orange leaf peeks out from under a pile of brown ones. “I’ll let that mural thing drop for now.”

“I’m considering that as a win.”

“Sure, but how long do you think it’ll take for my parents to get wasted enough to chill?”

“How would I know?”

Ridge walks over and hands me two pebbles he located. Thanking him, I toss them into the shrub once he walks away. Audrey returns to me with two orange leaves.

“It’s too cold to stand out here.”

“I could make out with you in the bushes if you think that’d help.”

Glancing at Mesa and Ridge, she whispers, “What about the children?”

“I think it’d be wildly inappropriate to ask them to join us.”

Audrey slugs me in the arm, and I feign terrible pain just to feed her little ego. She grins at my effort.

“I’m going inside.”

“Do I have to go with you?”

“No, I’m sure the children aren't finished playing.”

“I am,” Mesa announces and runs for the back door.

Ridge chases after his sister, nearly losing his knit hat in his rush. As they work together to yank open the door, I’m hit by the sound of old-man music coming from the house.

“Skynyrd,” Audrey says breathlessly as if in the midst of a religious moment.

Before I can ask what the fuck, I realize someone is playing guitar, and the singing isn’t from a recording. What fresh madness is this shit? Oh, and why do I hear Cricket when she’s in West Virginia?

Mesa and Ridge call out to their father as they disappear inside. Audrey follows them, and I finally arrive to discover the healing power of moonshine and a shared love for shitty music.

Chipper sits on a chair, playing “Free Bird” on his guitar. On a laptop screen, Cricket plays her guitar in West Virginia. Mom and Dad sing along while swaying their red cups of moonshine to the beat. Audrey, though, stares in awe at her parents.

Cooper sits in a chair with Farah cuddled in his lap. Clearly smashed from the moonshine, they sing loudly. Based on Cooper’s frisky hands, I might need to get out the hose soon and bring the party down to a PG-rating.

While Audrey sways to the music and stares gleefully at her parents, I retreat to the kitchen. Tatum glances at me and gives me that exasperated look people get when they’re the only sober person in a room.

“How the hell did this happen?” I whisper.

“Moonshine plus Chip’s arrival. He got Cricket online to join him. Only your sister could get this blitzed without drinking anything.”

“Keeping the milk nonalcoholic doesn’t mean she can’t fake stupid to fit in.”

Tatum grins. “Speaking of baby feeding, can you take this bottle to your dad?”

Leaving Tatum to finish dinner, I step over Mesa and Ridge who lie on the ground and watch their father play the guitar. I hand Dad a bottle, but Sierra reaches up and grabs it before he can. The kid struggles to pop the nipple into her mouth, so he aims it for her. Bam, Sierra’s a happy kid oblivious to the drunken hippies around her.

I think the party might be ending when the song does, but Farah yells out, “Do ‘Simple Man,’” as if she’s at a concert. Nodding, Cooper nuzzles her a little more on his lap. Yeah, I’m going to douse those two in cold water soon.

Standing with Audrey, I can’t pretend the music doesn’t suck. The company is perfection, though, and I really ought to send Peepaw Earlham a thank-you basket for his primo moonshine.