Gavin’s superior officers had showed up once again and because I was a part of Gavin’s life they took care of everything. I didn’t know how to feel about that.
I knew I was probably going to regret doing this, but I looked through my backpack and dug for my phone book. I already called mama and she didn’t answer. That alone said it was probably not so good.
I flipped the pages until I got to the fs.
John Forrester.
Sigh. This might not be smart, but all week, I got phone calls of just heavy breathing. Then hang ups. Colonel O’Keefe said they even put a tap on our phones (had no idea if that was legal or not, but whatev) but they said it was just a prepaid disposable cell phone so it was impossible to trace except that it was here in the nearby area. Ever since receiving that gift at the beginning of the week, Rhona stuck to me like glue and if we had to leave the house I always had my hand steady on the Ruger like it was my best friend.
I sent up a quick prayer that I wasn’t doing the wrong thing and I went over to the phone and dialed his number.
“Forrester.”
Shit. What was I going to say?
“Hello?”
When I took too long to answer, I heard the tell-tale signs of a click and I just stared at the phone as apprehension invaded my veins.
WAKE UP!
Stop freaking out, Evony.
I redialed, but this time he was curt and short, “Forrester.”
“John.”
“Who is this?”
“It’s uh—uh.”
“Evony?”
“Yes. Where’s Ethan, John?”
“He got fired, Evony. About a month after you left.”
“Did he act strange to you? Have you seen my mother?”
“No, we haven’t. And not any stranger than his normal dickish-self, why?”
“I think he killed my mother, John.”
“What do you mean? What’s going on? Where are you?”
“I’m in Kansas. With Gavin. I got a package earlier this week. It was my mother’s finger, John. I recognize the ring.”
“No one’s called about anything wrong. I can go check the trailer and see what’s up. Think Ethan’s there in Kansas?”
“I don’t know. Gavin has guys looking into it. I don’t want to freak anyone out because I know how my mother could be and the fact I left as I was arguing with her I knew I would’ve made her bitchy as hell.”
“It’s okay, Evony. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of everything. I miss you. You were really the only one who was ever nice to me.”
“Thank you, John. I don’t want you to get into any trouble or anything, but I would like to know if she’s alright or if she’s—you know. Not.”
“Yes, Evony. Anything for you.”
“Thanks, John. You know, you’ve always been so sweet to me. I can’t ever thank you enough for always thinking good of me even when I wasn’t.”
“You’re perfect, Evony.”
“Far from it, but thank you.”
“I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Okay, thank you.”
I hung up and started getting ready for the next few hours of work. I took a long hot bath hoping that would calm my nerves somewhat. I had about an hour and a half before I had to go and I sunk down lower in the tub.
The thrill of the phone rang loud, and I knew it wasn’t John. That was way too quick. And Gavin was technically supposed to be back tonight. I talked to him last night, and he and Rayden had said their mission was complete and they were able to get the earliest flight back here. Gavin made me promise to be careful and to watch myself. I knew to take his advice seriously. Which of course I did. This shit with Ethan was making me crazy. I wanted my life back. I thought I had left all that back in Dayton. Back in my past.
I wanted my future here. With a dance studio where I could teach and dance at one day. Then maybe I could start something with Gavin. Although my heart was starting to tell me that I could have both. I was learning to love myself and I mean—what if? What if a miracle happened and I could have a baby? It seemed like that’s all Rhona had been talking about. A future with Rayden. Could that happen with me? I mean, Dr. Cavanaugh had told me this weak that love was a powerful force. Now, I hadn’t known a love like that. When we were kids, I mean, it was probably more of a brotherly love. A protector type of love. But as a man loves a woman? That had never entered my mind.
Until Gavin came home. He totally wrecked my world and turned it upside down. A roller coaster of blazing emotions that wanted to come out. I knew what I was good at. What I’m becoming good at now.
Whenever Rhona and I went out, guys hit on us. Hinted at me specifically like they knew about my life before, but I didn’t want any part of what I was before. I was hoping for the future. A future I would love to see Gavin in.
But the longer Gavin had been away, Kayla, his ex had been giving me these looks like there was some big secret. She really hadn’t bothered me. Even with the rumors all over town about me that Gavin’s mother spread had really just faded into the background. No one really cared about me anymore and that was the biggest relief. I didn’t know how long I could live in a place where I was stoned all the time.
THUNK.
My head came out of the water and I could have sworn I heard a noise. Waiting a minute, after not hearing anything I went back down in the water.
I heard the phone ring again and wished I could hear the voice on the machine. O’well. I was safe here. Relaxing back into the tub, I closed my eyes and took my loofa to start cleaning up my feet.
THUNK.
Now that I heard. I raised my head and called out for Rhona. Maybe she came home for something.
“Rhona?” I strained my ears to try and hear her walking around the apartment, but nothing.
I stood up, stretched to grab a towel before I got out of the bathtub. I drained my hair of water before letting it loose behind my back. I had the towel around me, and I slowly opened the bathroom door.
“Rhona?”
It’s not like there was so much space in here. If she was here she would’ve heard me.
I knew I was dripping on the wood floor, but I didn’t care. Something just wasn’t right.
Then the phone rang, scaring the shit out of me.
“AH! DAMMIT! Shit.” I walked over to it in huff and pretty much ripped the phone from the wall. “HELLO!”
There was so much background noise, like air rushing through the phone.
“HELLO?”
“Ev–ny! Can…hear...e?”
“What?”
“It...ot…Ethan.”
“What! You’re breaking up! Are you in the air?”
“Yes. Baby. It’s Forres—John.”
“John? What about him?”
“Killed…mom. He did it!”
Something inside of me filled with dread. John? He killed my mom?
“No, Gavin. I just talked to John! He’s in Dayton.”
Then his voice was loud and clear, “No, baby. He’s there in Kansas! He killed your mom, Ethan is in critical condition. He might not even make it! Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I was in the bath.”
“I’m almost landing.”
“Landing? You’re here? How? I thought—
“Baby, Jake called me and told me what was going on!”
“He didn’t tell me! Either him or the other one. What am I supposed to do, Gavin?”
“You can hang up the phone, nice and slow.”
I whipped around to find John—a very worn out, pale John—standing near the open door. Holy hell.
“Evony, who was that?”
“Evony, honey. Hang up the phone, now.”
God, he was barely recognizable.
“John?”
“FUCK!” I heard Gavin yelling and then I barely heard anything. I heard more yelling in the background.
“I’M COMING, EVONY. I’M COMING. CROSS MY HEART, BABY.”
Then a shot rang out and I heard Gavin yell out my name before I didn’t hear anything at all. The bullet flew passed me and hit the phone, shattering it to pieces. It was completely useless.
“Where’s my mother?”
John, who always looked so well-dressed, nerdy, and sweet before, right now looked ragged, his clothes worn and a beard had begun growing on his face. But it wasn’t kept up. Just all crooked and uneven.
He ticked his head to the side and I looked over to the couch where I slept.
I turned and saw a pale veiny foot sticking out from the side arm. Oh my god. I rushed over and oh God. The smell.
I covered my mouth with my hands trying to ward off the smell of her body.
Dead. Very-oh-dear-God, Dead.
“I did it for you, Evony. She made you into such a bad girl.”
My heart was pounding and my blood was pumping hard through my veins as I felt the adrenaline start to make its way up to the fore. Stay calm. Play it out.
“But John—
“No. I've always watched you. So beautiful. That’s why I wanted to have you. I know you think you took pity on me but I’ve been in love with you for so long. Long before Gavin came back and you just never noticed. Why is that? He comes home and it's like the lifeless shell you were sparked to life. I wanted to do that for you. I mean I've been nice to you. Ethan was always bragging about how good you were in bed every time we went out. As if he ever had you. I had to do something. I knew you'd never let him touch you. I knew I was the only man to have you.”
Oh, God.
“No. Ethan never touched me. That was all in his head. I didn't take pity on you. You were the only guy who didn't treat me like the town whore. I just never felt that way for you though.”
I was getting super nauseous with my mother’s body in the room and then the shit John was spewing out. God, I wanted to gag.
“That's why I had to end Ethan too. It was all for you. Even that sick fuck, Coach. Told me how Gavin paid for you like you were a car in an auction lot. I wanted to end him right then. How dare he come back and steal you from me. You were mine. MINE!”
Oh, shit. His voice was raising dramatically and I backed up, looking around for cover or a weapon. But I did have one.
My Ruger. The one Gavin gave me. I spotted my purse on the table in front of my mother. Could I make it? Did I want to with my mother’s body right there? Was it worth the risk?
“What are you looking for, sweet Evony? You don't want to leave me do you? I know how that fucker Winters took you right from beneath my fingers. Then when I heard about the baby. Why didn't you tell me, Evony?”
How in the hell did he know about the baby I lost so long ago? No one knew about that except Gavin.
“I'm sorry, John. It was too early to know anything and then I was ashamed. I was so scared, John.”
Play him, Evony. Make him soft. Then when he least expects it—whack him.
“Oh, baby. Let me take you away from all this. Be mine. I can make you so happy. We could try for another baby.”
“I'm happy with my life here, John.”
“NO! You are mine. You do as I SAY!”
I started shuffling slowly towards the table, hoping he didn't see my intentions on my face.
“Why don't we go? Let me grab my purse and we can leave.”
“First, a kiss to seal the deal.”
“My purse is just—
“NOW!”
I flinched back. His voice screechy and evil. I slowly walked over to him and when I got close enough his hand shot out and grabbed my arm. Since I started personal training and instructor classes I had gained some muscle and I knew I was stronger than I've ever been before but he still outweighed me by at least forty pounds. And he wasn't a chubby cop. I knew he worked out and had a lean body.
He held the gun to my stomach as his lips crushed mine. His lips were chapped and he tried pushing his body up to mine. But the gun was between us.
“Put that gun away, John. Let me greet you properly. Please.”
I went for meek and pleasing. Was it going to work? Please God yes let it work.
“Of course! How silly of me.”
He tossed the gun to the little foyer table by the door. I was still aware of the faint smell of death in the room, but I led him closer to the couch. Where I knew I could get to my purse and the firepower within.
He was unbuckling his belt—didn’t know what kind of greeting he was hoping for—but we got closer to the table and I had him sit on the little recliner I knew Rhona would burn as soon as she could, but I had to get him to relax.
“I need to grab a condom, okay? Lemme just get my purse.”
John tilted his head to the side and a small smirk lifted his lips.
“Go ahead.”
I let out a soft, serene smile and walked to get my purse. I sifted through to find the heavy weight of the gun but it wasn't there. I always kept it in there.
A laugh so evil, so insidious echoed just behind me.
“Oh, Evony. You really are so stupid.”
Fuck. I was so screwed.
I turned to see him bending down and retrieving the gun Gavin gave me from his boot.
“Looking for this, sweetheart?” Gavin—where the hell are you? “Now. Get over here and blow me like the whore you are.”
“I am not that girl. And you don't ever get to call me that. Never. I am not stupid. I'm not a whore. I am Evony Summers. I am building a life here that has nothing to do with my past. And you know what? It was just a pity fuck. You couldn't handle this pussy no matter how hard you tried. You're nothing but a monster. You better just shoot me now because there's no way I'm ever going to get on my knees for a sick fuck like you.”
“Arrgh! Bitch.”
He flew out of the chair and I ducked, breaking the little glass table but what was a few scrapes and cuts?
He took hold of the towel and ripped it away, leaving me naked. I tried to get to the front door, not giving one fuck if anyone saw me in my birthday suit. But he was just too fast or I was just not strong enough. His hand had snagged on my hair, pulling me back, tripping me until I was flat on my stomach.
I heard a vicious battle cry from outside and my name was being yelled like an avenging warrior. As soon as I felt John’s erection on my ass I couldn't help but wiggle, trying to get free but his hold on me was firm at the base of my neck.
I am so cutting my hair after this.
I heard the front door fly open, cracking from the hinges and Gavin's voice as he charged.
But I couldn't warn him in time before John whipped the gun in Gavin's direction and all I heard was shot after shot rang out. And then a hard thunk.
No. No. No. No. No. Not Gavin! Not the one who had always believed in me. Not the man who told me he would always love me no matter what happens. The one who always had my heart. Instantly I was four years old, outside coloring when a moving truck parked next door. A boy with dark hair and dark eyes looked at me with his own pained filled gaze.
Then when he secretly gave me the locket I still had on my neck now…the picture of two kids who didn't know what would happen in their lives but would always be tethered together for an eternity.
When he rescued me in the dark after my mother and father argued. Saving me from my own miserable life. Day in and day out I never saw just how much he loved me. All those nights when he let me crawl through his window, so afraid of the things that could happen in the dark when I was scared. The way he always made sure I never went hungry. Brushing my hair like I was fine china and braiding it because I hated it in my face.
All those times he tried showing me love, but I never saw it. Never recognized it for what it was. I never knew what it could be like to have someone so selfless care for someone who was never worthy of such love.
Then when I was thirteen, bloodied, broken and at my worst, he took justice into his own hands because he knew my dad would have done much worse to me when I had returned. Gavin made sure he never laid a hand on me again. And although I don't agree with killing, I know he did it out of love for me. To protect me. Now I needed to protect him.
John leaned back into me and I took a deep breath, curved my head down and with everything I had, reared my head upward, hearing a crunching sound in its wake.
Score. Nose break! He screamed like a pansy and I was able to knock him off me. The gun had dislodged and scattered away. I scrambled, kicking him in the process and right as I had my hand gripped the handle, John screamed like a madman. I turned just in time to see him throwing his body over mine and I began shooting. I don’t know how many times I fired, I had my eyes closed (I know, like an idiot) but when I opened them he was on the floor, coughing up blood, his eyes found mine, and they looked sad and almost remorseful.
I’m sorry.
I saw his mouth move as his body just stopped moving.
Then I heard hard coughing over by the door.
“GAVIN!”
I threw the gun behind me and rushed over to where Gavin laid on his back, his eyes barely open. I couldn’t lose him.
I ran my fingers through his hair, cupping his cheeks. I knew tears were running down my face.
“I can’t lose you, Gavin. I am so sorry I made you wait for so long. I know everything you did for me was because you loved me. I hope you still love me because there isn’t any other man for me but you. I’ve loved you since I was four years old, Gavin. You can’t give up on me now, now that I finally see what I’ve been missing. I was such a stupid fool to ever think you’d be nothing more than a memory. Forgive me, Gavin. Forgive me. I can’t live this life without you, baby. I realize that now. Please don’t die. Please, God. Don’t let him die. Gavin. I love you. I love you. I love you. Cross my heart and hope to die, Gavin. I’ve always been yours.”
“Would…you…please…put some fucking clothes on, Evony?”
I jerked back, his eyes blazing daggers at me as they wandered over my naked body.
“You’re okay?”
Coughing, he scooted himself back and leaned against the wall by the door.
“Go put on a shirt for crissaskes! Rayden and the cops will be here any damn second and I would like them to not ever see the woman of my dreams showing them her goodies.”
“YOU’ RE OKAY?!”
One side of his lips tilted upward. “Was there ever any doubt?”
I smacked his face.
“Fuck, woman. Yes. I’m alright, I’m wearing Kevlar, now please put on a shirt.”
I got up and raced to the bathroom where my robe sat on the counter. I threw it on and raced back to see Gavin grunting as he stood up, cracking his neck.
“GAVIN!” I ran to him and he caught me, lifting me up so I can hold on tight. And then the sobs started. Uncontrollable. Heart wrenching sobs that just wouldn’t stop. The thought that he might be gone was just too much.
“Baby. It’s okay. I’m here, Evony.”
“I hate you. I hate this!”
“Hate what, love?”
“Crying.”
“It’s okay, baby.”
“NO, IT’S NOT! You could have died. And then where would I be? Where would I be if not for you?”
“You would have been just fine because you know I love you and I always will.”
“Gavin, I’m talking about when I was four years old. I would have probably ended up dead or killing myself if it hadn’t been for you moving in next door. I was so lost and alone. Then you came along. I love you, Gavin. I have for so long. I’m sorry I made you wait until I got my shit together.”
“Evony. Shh…listen to me. When I was a boy, I didn’t want friends. I didn’t want to get to know anyone after dad died. Then there you were. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you would always be a part of me. No matter what roads we ended up taking. And honey, you never had to say it for me to know that you loved me. I’ve known it all my life. I understood what you needed to do to get to this point. You are strong, baby. You are smart. You are so beautifully perfect in all your flaws, imperfections, insecurities. God made me for you and you alone. Just like He made you for me and me alone. Plus, come on. Winters and Summers? It was inevitable, baby.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Inevitable, huh?”
“Totally. There’s no me without you, Evony. All I ever want is you. If that means waiting for you for however long you need me to, then I’ll wait. You have always been worth the wait. You always will.”
“Uh, sorry to break up this romantic scene, but what the hell happened in here?”
We both looked up to Rayden, and the Colonel, along with the Lieutenant Colonel walking through the door. Along with cops. Crap.
“Am I going to be arrested?”
“No.”
“No.”
“Hell, nah!”
“Never, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
I looked into Gavin’s brown eyes full of understanding, tenderness and most of all, love. His love for me lasted a lifetime and I couldn’t wait to show him a lifetime of how much I would love him in return.
I wasn’t damaged anymore. With the help of my doctor, Rhona and most of all Gavin, I would never be broken and alone again. There was a life I had to live. And as long as I had Gavin, living it was going to be worthwhile.