Age 13
Whenever my parent’s arguments got too much, I’d sneak out and go to Gavin’s and knock on his window. Which he always let me in. It wasn’t often, but sometimes my parents could take it to the limit where I felt like all this weight was pulling me down. I did my best to hide it, but Gavin always saw right through me.
I finally learned my mother was a stripper. She took her clothes off for money. It sickens me that she’s done it for so long and that my father made sure she always brought home cash. She still had two jobs. He still didn’t have any. I learned though that he couldn’t work because of some work accident. He got some disability money, but it wasn’t a lot and he and mom argued about him trying to get some kind of job. Which made everything so much worse.
The names were the worst. He only hit when he got wasted drunk. Which most of the time I kept to my bedroom.
That night four years ago, didn’t stop him from going out. I wonder why mom stayed with him. He was such a dead beat. A whore, a dead beat and their mistake. A never ending cycle.
One particular evening just got too bad. I had come home late from staying at school for a project, not thinking anything of it. Mom’s Saturn wasn’t in the drive, so I figured she was working. Dad’s old, beat up, rusted truck was still in the drive and when I went inside, he was waiting for me by the door to catch me unawares.
I fell forward, falling to my hands and knees.
“What the fuck took you so long, stupid? I had to leave thirty minutes ago. It’s Friday, you know I have to leave right after your mother.”
By now, I just didn’t care. I was just so tired of this life.
“I had a school project. I had to stay after school with my partner.”
“Project huh? Hmm…likely story. You’ve never stayed late before.”
“That’s because I know what you’d do to me if I was late. You’d turn crazy.”
SMACK.
I tasted blood at the corner of my mouth where he back handed me.
“I’ll show you crazy, stupid little whore. Just like your mother. Bet your partner was a boy, wasn’t it? Did you let him touch you? You’re going to end up just like your mother.”
“You’re sick and disgusting. No wonder mom would stay away as long as she could. She’d do anything to get the hell away from a sicko like you.”
I raised my arm just in time for his fist to connect with the side of my face. And he didn’t stop. He had managed to get on top of me and punch my sides, because my arms were protecting my face.
“Worthless little cunt. Just like your loose, whore of a mother. Never be anything more than a know-nothing whore. I should’ve made your mother abort you like I did all the others.”
The others? My eyes widened and an ache speared my chest.
“Shocked? Yeah, well, your mother got pregnant five times after you and I was able to get her to kill every single one of them little shits before they grew any bigger. Stupid whore. Probably let the men she danced for knock her up. You’ll never be any better.”
Fight.
That thought rang out clear in my mind.
Fight him.
Praying for strength, I swung as hard as I could and punched him in the temple, knocking him thankfully off of me. I hurried up and before he could get up, I kicked him, in the junk. As hard as I could.
“I hope you fucking die, useless cripple.”
I let my mother’s words fly out of my mouth before I ran out of the house.
I saw Gavin’s little Chevy S10 pull up and he was getting out. Before I turned around the trailer, I heard my dad’s voice screaming out my name. I couldn’t do this anymore. I’d run away and never look back. I couldn’t live another day in that house.
“EVONY!”
Not even Gavin’s voice stopped me as I ran like I’ve never run before.
There was a forest behind our trailer park and not many trails to follow, but I honestly didn’t care. If I died out here, the better. Anything to never go back. I knew my dad. He would never follow me in here. He’d wait until I cooled down and went home. Then he’d hurt me. And this time, I don’t know how far he’ll take it.
But not this time.
I heard footsteps closing in on me.
“EVONY! DAMMIT, STOP RUNNING!”
Gavin! I turned my head just in time to see a glimpse of him before I tripped over something, making me fall down a small hill. It was like every broken branch was on the ground because I covered my face to protect it, but I felt every scrape and poke from the ground all over my body.
When I stopped, I just stayed like that.
Frozen. Curled up and screamed out the hurt. My eyes were already welling up with tears and they stung and hurt because I knew dad got in a few shots to my face.
“EVONY! Fuck! Fuck. I’m coming. Just stay there.”
No problem. It’s not like I was going to go anywhere. I couldn’t move. My whole body hurt something bad.
He fell next to me, trying to turn me, but when I cried out, he stopped. The braid I always kept my hair in was unwinding and he pushed my hair back and he gasped.
“No. No fucking way did he do this to you. Where else?”
“Everywhere! I’m not going back. Never. I’d rather die out here than go back. Just leave me here.”
“You’re never going to go back. And they will never hurt you again. I promise. I swear on everything I hold dear, honey. That’s mom and you. The only two girl’s I’ve ever loved. Wait here, I’ll be right back. Okay? You need help.”
“NO! I’m not going back, Gavin Winters! He was ready to kill me. If I’m going to die I’d rather let the earth do it than him.”
“You’re not going to die. You’re not going to leave me. I’ll be back okay?”
“Promise?”
“Pinkie swear, and cross my heart and hope to die. I’ll never let them hurt you again.”
Then he was gone. It was hours later that his mother and a man I’ve never seen before found me.
“Where’s Gavin? What time is it?”
“It’s almost one in the morning.”
“Where’s Gavin? He was supposed to come back and get me. Where is he?”
“I think you’ve done enough. I promised him I’d help you and then after this, you will never darken my doorstep again.”
It was like a sucker punch to the stomach.
“Mrs. Winters?”
“Do you understand me, young lady?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“No matter what. You never come to my home again. Now, we need to get you to a hospital.”
“Can you at least tell me where he is?”
“Gone. Far from here. And he’s never coming back.”
Life as I knew it changed. My heart cracked, but my eyes stopped crying. Never let them see you cry. Never let anyone see the hurt.
Gavin was gone. No one needed to know how much I’d rather just end it all right here.
But life wasn’t so easy. Gavin never did come back, and it wouldn’t be until twelve years later that he’d darken this little country town with his presence again. But by then, I just didn’t give a fuck anymore.