Chapter 14

Savior

“Am I the only one who’s on edge when we do these runs?”

That came from the back of the vehicle. Since many of our businesses were cash based, trips to the bank and the credit union were stressful as fuck.

“Hell, no,” Cross said from the seat beside me. “If you’re not on edge then you’ve got shit for brains,” he said a little louder than necessary to make sure the prospects up front understood. They still had that young man’s swagger, thought their shit didn’t stink and believed they were immortal. Because they’d made it back from that hell in the desert, they thought they could beat anything. Anyone.

“Don’t worry Prez, we’re so on edge our assholes are puckering!” Stitch, one of our newest prospects called from behind the wheel.

“Good. Keep ’em puckered. That’s how you know you’re alive,” Cross called out with a gleeful smile. He knew how to fuck with prospects like no one else.

The hummer came to a stop in front of the steps of the credit union and Cross and I jumped out first, carrying the metal boxes of cash straight to the door. Jag was at the doors with Max, holding them open so we wouldn’t have to stop. Alonzo, the manager, met us and we went straight back to a secure room.

“Damn that never gets any easier.”

“Can I interest you in a coffee while we count, gentlemen?” Alonzo was a well-dressed biracial man with the skinniest fucking moustache I’d ever seen. But he was always polite and professional when we came in, so he was good in my book.

“Coffee sounds good,” I told him.

“I’ll have tea if you have it,” Cross said, shocking the shit out of me.

“Right away,” he said, leaving us alone with the cash.

“Tea?”

He shrugged. “I’m trying something new. Gettin’ all Zen and shit.”

I laughed. “What’s her name?”

Cross didn’t fuck around like the rest of us, mostly because as Prez, he had the weight of the fucking world on his shoulders. We all helped, but ultimately it was on him to keep us profitable, out of prison and protecting club interests. But still, a man had needs.

“I fucking wish, man. I’m too old to be fucking around with the kind of girls who want to fuck a bad boy. And girls the right age —”

“Don’t like to be called girls,” I told him with a smirk.

“Smartass. Women the right age don’t want to do shit with a biker but fuck him.”

“Is it too soon to suggest a Reckless Bitch?”

Cross looked up at me, eyes dark and intense. Then he let out a loud, barking laugh. “You’re fucking nuts, Savior.”

“Definitely too soon.”

Alonzo returned with a coffee and tea, then left with the cash and a promise to return.

“What’s going on with you and Mandy?”

“Nothing, so you can save your lecture, all right?”

He raised his hands defensively. “No lecture. I saw you guys at the wedding and you looked cozy. Almost happy.”

“Not you, too? A guy spends one weekend with a hot chick and suddenly the whole fucking club thinks I’m about get hitched? What the fuck? Everyone’s in love.”

“I’d give anything to still be in love, Savior. I wish Lauren was still here, but she’s not. She never will be. If you have something, don’t piss it away on some macho bullshit.”

“Shit, man, I didn’t realize.” He never talked about his ex. Ever.

“No, it’s fine. But watching Max get married after everything he’s been through, it has me thinking. Lauren would hate for me to be like this, and fuck man, I’m getting old.”

“Hate to break it to you, Prez, but you’re already old.”

He laughed but his mood was thoughtful. “Don’t you ever, I don’t know, want. . .more?”

“We’re all set gentlemen,” Alonzo said as he breezed in carrying a few slips of paper. “I have your receipts and your associates have already taken the boxes. Will there be anything else?”

Cross stood and shook the manager’s hand. “Nah, we’re good. Thank you, Alonzo.”

“My pleasure Mr. Cross.” The manager held his polite smile, handed Cross the papers and escorted us back to where Jag and Max waited. “Have a good day, gentlemen.”

“You too, Alonzo.”

Outside the sun hit my skin, warmed it as the anxiety coiled tight in my gut finally started to unwind itself. “Fuck man, I’m too old for this shit.”

Cross laughed and fell in step beside me. “If you’re too old, what does that make me?”

I glanced at him with a smirk. “In charge.”

Max barked out a laugh behind us. “He’s got you there, Prez.”

Cross looked chagrined, rolling his eyes at us like the little shits we were. “That’s right, I am in charge, which means you all need to shut the fuck up.”

We all laughed and got back into the hummer. “Where to, Prez?”

“I’m hungry,” I told Stitch. “Stop someplace with big burgers, crispy bacon and milkshakes.”

“You eat like a ten-year-old,” Cross accused.

I smiled at him. “Cross isn’t hungry, Prospect Stitch. Make sure he gets his favorite, the kale and egg salad.”

“Asshole,” he grunted and I only laughed.

Even though the danger had passed, the tension remained. And I fucking hated tension. “Any word from Gunnar?” I asked, changing the subject.

Gunnar was the Reckless Bastards VP and he’d been MIA for months, checking in sporadically only with Cross.

Cross nodded. “He’s just about done settling his mother’s estate, but there’s some other issues that have cropped up. He should be back in another month or so. I hope.”

The stress was probably the reason our Prez was so quiet all the damn time. “Tired of picking up his slack?”

That caught me by surprise. I quickly reassured him, “Fuck no, just curious since you’re the only one he calls.”

“His head is all fucked up, you know that.”

I shook my head. “Our mothers weren’t exactly the same, so no, I have no fucking clue.”

He leveled me with a look. “Yeah, because little kids who watch their mothers overdose time and time again end up so fucking healthy.”

“Never said I was healthy, but thanks for bringing that up, man.” My life was no fucking secret but bringing it up like that to prove a fucking point, was a low blow. “Stop the truck,” I called out.

“We’re not there yet,” Stitch shot back.

“I said stop the fucking truck!”

The hummer slowed down and I jumped out.

“Catch you around,” I said, slamming the door and walking away. A walk would do me good.

Clear my head, since, according to my own Prez, it was all kinds of fucked up.

***

“Open up, Mandy!”

Even in my drunken haze, I realized I was loud and obnoxious, and banging on her door like I was an invading army. But like I said, I was drunk with a lot of shit on my mind, including the demons Cross kicked up earlier.

“Mandy!”

The sound of several locks disengaging practically vibrated the door and I stepped back just as Mandy’s blonde head appeared between a crack.

“What the hell, Savior?”

She didn’t look happy. Yeah, well neither was I. “We need to talk,” I yelled into the door.

Her lips were moving but I couldn’t hear her words because my gaze was on her swell of cleavage, all creamy and unbound. Tits loose behind the light t-shirt that barely hit mid-thigh.

“It’s one in the morning, what could we possibly have to talk about?”

I could tell she wasn’t happy to see me. “About why I’m such an asshole,” I told her and pushed my way inside. More like stumbling.

“I don’t need to know why,” she said, but she didn’t stop me.

“I owe you that much,” I told her because it was true. This wasn’t the first time I let Mandy down and my neglect was still impacting her life today, so yeah, I owed her the truth. I just let it rip.

“I have asshole blood in my genes. Dear old dad was long gone before I could even form a memory of his ass, though when Mom got drunk and high, which was all the time, she never passed up an opportunity to tell me just how much I reminded her of him. Then she’d shoot up or snort or smoke a little more until she passed out, sometimes she’d overdose right in front of me.”

It was more than sometimes but the truth is that very rarely is the whole truth necessary.

“Holy shit,” she sighed, because what else was there to say to something like that? “That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, believe me, I know. I barely survived that shit.” I let out a long sigh and kicked off my boots, feeling fuzzy and uncomfortable and drunk as fuck. “So now you know. That’s my dirty little secret.”

I could feel the weight of those green eyes on me and I looked up to see the concern and frustration etched on her face. She shook her head and disappeared into her tiny kitchen, returning with a glass of icy cold water.

“Drink this,” she commanded.

After shoving the glass in my hand, she dropped down on the sofa beside me and curled into the other side.

“Thank you for telling me, Savior, but really you don’t need to. You don’t owe me an explanation and certainly not your whole history.”

“I wanted you to know.”

“Why?”

That was the fucking question, wasn’t it?

Why?

Why did I leave the air-conditioned car with my club brothers, go get drunk at some pub on the main drag and take a cab to Mandy’s apartment? No fucking clue.

“Because Cross called me a coward.” I told her all about my conversation earlier with the club president. “Why did he have to bring that shit up?” It came out as more of a whine than I wanted it to.

She sat quietly, contemplating her words before she spoke. “Probably to kick your ass into action? Just because your friend Gunnar had a good mother, doesn’t make the loss the same. Moms are special, even the shitty moms leave a mark.”

“Yours wasn’t a shitty mom,” I insisted like a pouting child.

“No, not as far as I remember. But she’s been gone more of my life than she was around, so I don’t have much of an opinion when it comes to the subject.”

She didn’t sound like it but I didn’t want to push. As Cross proved earlier, mothers were a touchy subject. She asked gently, “Why are you all out of sorts over any of this, anyway?”

I shrugged. “Fuck if I know.” And that was the kicker. I really had no damn clue what had brought on this bad mood.

She threw her hands up and rolled her eyes. “Well I’m glad I woke up for this. Totally worth the lack of sleep,” she grumbled and stood, staring down at me with kind eyes that didn’t match the bite in her words.

“Stay here tonight, sleep off the booze. I can take you to your car in the morning but I have to be up and gone early, Savior. Early.”

I nodded and stood on shaky legs, bouncing off the walls as I made my way to her bedroom and dropped down onto the bed. “Fuck, I’m hammered.”

“Clearly. Delusional, too, if you think you’re sleeping in here,” she told me as she came inside and climbed on what was obviously her side of the bed based on the rumpled bedding and dented pillow.

“Come on, Pixie. We’ve already fucked each other inside out and tonight I really am just trying to sleep.”

I didn’t wait for her to respond. I couldn’t. I’d be knocked out in the next few minutes so I stripped down to my underwear and slid beneath the sheets beside her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m getting comfy,” I told her, curling my body around hers so her back was flush with my front. “You’re so warm and soft, a sexy little pillow I wish I wasn’t too drunk to fuck.”

Her husky laugh sounded, vibrating back and forth between our bodies. “Thank God for small favors, then.”

“Nothing small about it,” I mumbled before burying my face in her neck and drifting off to the best damn sleep of my life.