Chapter 19

Mandy

“We got you tons of stuff to keep you occupied until they spring you.”

Teddy beamed a smile as she and Jana unpacked the bags they set on the edge of my hospital bed.

I smiled as I watched them work in tandem, pulling out a stack of magazines, leave-in conditioner and a brush, moisturizer and a tablet.

“Wow,” was all I could say at their generosity, and even that hurt my ribs.

“The tablet is mine,” Jana said sheepishly, “but I know how hard it can be cooped up in here without anything to entertain you.” Her hand instinctively went to the scar along one side of her face. It wasn’t really noticeable until she drew attention to it, but we all had our quirks, so who was I to judge?

They were so cheerful, so upbeat that it made me suspicious. “What’s going on? Do you know something I don’t, like I’m dying or there’s a contract on my life?”

Teddy and Jana stared at each other with twin serious expressions and then promptly burst out laughing. “Sorry to break it to you Mandy but you’re going to live. This is called friendship. You need us, so we’re here. To help you forget just how much life sucks right now.”

That pulled a laugh from me.

“Understatement of the . . . well, fucking ever,” I managed to say before I had to count to ten to absorb the pain.

I shouldn’t be surprised about the shit show my life was now; it wasn’t like there had ever been a break when things were perfect. Hell, not even perfect. I’d have settled for uneventful. Boring, even. But that wasn’t the life lined up for me. “It does suck and I appreciate you bringing these things to me but I’m sure you both have better things to do than hang out here for the second day in a row.”

I had no clue when they would let me out and I hadn’t made a big deal about it yet because it didn’t matter to me where I was at the moment.

“See that’s where you’re wrong,” Teddy said with a sassy point of her finger. “We’re pregnant and hungry, and if one of these babies decided to come early, we’re right where we need to be.” She flashed that tough girl grin that was so far from the high fashion model she’d been that she was like a whole new person.

I appreciated her attempt to keep things light. “And I thought you were here just for me. I’m just a convenience,” I told her with a fake sniffle. “Thanks, seriously.”

“Don’t!” Jana held her hands up in my direction. “We’re here for you. You’re our friend and we want to be yours but if you keep that up you’ll have two pregnant women blubbering like babies in here.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” I told her, wincing as I tried to sit up.

“How are you feeling, really?” Teddy tilted her head to the side in that classic sign of pity that people thought was sympathy.

“Never better,” I told her flippantly. “Doesn’t matter, it’ll heal. Eventually.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Savior looked like he wanted to rip someone’s head off when we picked him up,” Teddy said. “He’s got it bad.”

I shook my head, refusing to listen. Maybe that’s how women talked when they were together but I didn’t want to hear it. “He’s got a bad case of guilt and obligation. That’s all it is.”

They both laughed like it was the funniest damn joke in the world. Teddy blurted out, “Oh Jana, she actually believes that.”

I glared at Teddy but it had no effect on the girl.

“It’s true, Teddy. He feels bad he didn’t look after me like he promised my brother. Thinks all of this is his fault.”

If there was one thing I hated, it was pity. And obligation. I was used to both and neither had ever done a damn thing to make me or my life any better.

“Don’t worry,” I told them as sleep slowly pulled me under. “I’m fine on my own.”

***

When I woke up some time later, the doctor was staring at me with a creepy but professional smile. “Good news Mandy. We’re letting you out today.”

“Great.” I could go home to my tiny apartment and do absolutely nothing with a broken arm and sore ribs.

Then came more good news. “Unfortunately, you will be in that cast for at least six to ten weeks. No work at all during that time, and we’ll discuss it more when you’re well enough to start therapy.” More good news as he spoke. No work. No cooking. No laughing or fucking. No living.

Nothing.

“Super.” I murmured.

He gave me a sympathetic smile that made me want to scream. “You’re young, Mandy. There’s no reason you won’t heal completely if you commit to it. I’ll get that paperwork started if you want to call someone to pick you up.”

“Do you have my phone?” I hadn’t thought about it before now because I didn’t need it, then the nurse who was checking my vitals pulled a large plastic bag from the closet.

“Here you go dear. If you need anything else, buzz me.”

“Thank you.” My voice was soft, broken in gratitude as I watched them both leave. Despite my complaining, they’d done so much for me. Yet, I was alone again and though it was the way I’d spent most of my life, it now felt stifling and uncomfortable. So loud and in my face about how alone I was.

But there was nothing to be done about it because despite what Jana and Teddy thought, Savior’s absence told me everything.

I picked up my phone, grateful to whoever had powered it off, and placed a reservation for a cab ride in two hours. It was how I’d always gotten around until I’d bought a car when I moved back to Vegas. I was used to it. Completely self-sufficient.

Because, well, I had to be.

And the more I thought about it, the more leaving Las Vegas sounded just about perfect. Relying on people, making connections was great, for other people. But I was worried that relying on people might make me forget who I was.

Strong.

Capable.

Alone.

***

“I know you’re in there, Pixie. Open up!” Savior’s voice came out loud enough to drown out the comedy special playing on TV but the pounding on the door shook the walls. “I’ve got all day.”

I let out a long sigh at the thought of getting up. The pain pills worked but not enough. I’d spent the past two days only moving when absolutely necessary. I’d put off going to the bathroom or the kitchen until I couldn’t stand it any longer, and I slept in the same spot I was now sitting in on my sofa. “Go away, Savior.”

“No. Don’t make me break this door down.”

That’s just what I needed, to get kicked out before I planned to move out anyway. I’d already given my landlord my thirty-day notice but I knew I’d need every one of those days to stay put with my injuries.

I sucked in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly as I stood and made my way to the door. I flipped the lock and twisted the knob before turning back to the sofa. My skin was already damp from the effort it took to breathe deeply and stand. Though my eye was no longer swollen shut, a good thing, the huge, ugly green and yellow bruise didn’t do me any favors.

“What do you want?” I called to him as I made my way back to my cocoon.

“I brought you a few things.”

I was busy getting myself settled on the couch again and didn’t look at him, at the smile I heard in his voice. I hadn’t seen him in a few days and hadn’t planned on seeing him again. “I have everything I need but thank you.”

When I finally looked up he froze and stared at me with a confused and hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately.”

I eased back into the couch, waiting for the pain to settle after all that movement. “Don’t be. I told you before, not your responsibility.” I didn’t want to be anyone’s responsibility or another item on their list of things they had to do. By now, I knew that’s how he would always see me.

“It’s not that, I —”

I cut him off. “It’s fine, Savior. You have a life and I don’t need an explanation, but I do appreciate the thought.”

“Goddamn, you are one frustrating woman,” he groaned and dropped the bags on the tiny two-legged table that passed off as a dining table. “I went to see Ammo.”

Of course he did, because his guilt had probably overwhelmed him and now he was determined to double down on the overprotective thing. “Good for you.”

“Did I do something to piss you off, Pixie?”

“Nope. I’m not pissed off. I’m in pain, Savior.”

“Do you need pills or water or something?”

I glanced at the case of bottled water under the coffee table and the pills on top of it, then back at him. “I’m good, thanks. Look, Savior, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Good, because I’m no one’s babysitter. Can’t I just do something nice because I want to?”

“Sure,” I told him but I didn’t believe him at all.

He was determined to prove me wrong by unpacking the bags and bringing me a plate piled with fried chicken, spaghetti and salad. Before I could complain about how I was going to eat and hold my plate with only one good arm, he raced into my kitchen and returned with my tray table. “See? It’s not so bad having me around.”

“I never said it was.”

“But you implied it.” He stared at me again, waiting for a reaction but I had no reaction to give. The pain was so unbearable that I pushed down everything else, all of my thoughts and emotions that had nothing to do with my immediate plans. I couldn’t handle anything else.

Not even Savior.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” I said and picked up the plastic fork he’d provided.

“No? Then what are you going to do about your friend and Roadkill MC?”

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“That’s not going to work, Pixie.” His gaze was hard and cold, deadly serious as he sat beside me with his own plate in his hands.

“Well it’s the best I can do, so you need to deal with it.” I dropped my fork on the plate in frustration. Eating left handed was difficult and leaning forward to do so only made the pain in my ribs worse. Fucking bikers.

“What about your job?”

I laughed bitterly. “What job?”

Landry had been only too happy to learn I wouldn’t be back but he wasn’t all laughs when he learned I’d been attacked in his parking lot. I could have told him I’d be long gone before I had a chance to sue but he didn’t deserve it. Let the fucker stew on it for a while.

“Shit, Mandy. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine with it.”

“What will you do for work?”

I shrugged, for some reason I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I would leave and find a job and a home in another city. I couldn’t tell him that I was starting over somewhere else and I didn’t know why. “Figure it out. It’s what I do.”

“And Roadkill? You can’t really think they’ll just let this go, even if you did something crazy like leave town they’d come and find you.”

I didn’t think that, but I couldn’t worry about it. “All they can do is kill me, Savior.”

“Don’t fucking say that!” He threw his half empty plate on the coffee table with a clatter as his voice echoed in the small room. “That’s not funny, Mandy. There’s no coming back from that.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“So this is what, some suicide mission?” He was angry and worried, but I didn’t need that from him. Not now.

“No, Savior. I have no desire to die but I can’t live my life worrying about them. I can’t control what they do, only what I do.”

“And what do you plan to do, Mandy?”

“Figure it out. I’ve got time.”

Twenty-eight days to be exact, but that was no one’s business but my own.