Chapter Six

I managed to get myself together and left the club as soon as I got my boots back on. I rode home and immediately took a long, hot shower, desperate to scrub away Marco’s paw prints. My tears were dry, but pieces of my past were shifting in front of me, like a kaleidoscope. When I got out of the shower, I wanted to call someone, to not be alone, but couldn’t think of who to call. No one would understand what I was going through, and if I told anyone what I was about to do, they would all beg for me to change my mind. I was already teetering close to the edge of backing out. I didn’t need anyone else voicing the same concerns that were rattling around my mind.

A glance at the clock told me I only had a couple hours left until I had to be back at the club to perform. I made a salad but couldn’t bring myself to eat any of it and ended up throwing it all down the disposal, which then led to a deep clean of the kitchen just to keep my mind off everything else. By the time my kitchen was sparkling, it was time to leave. I carefully selected what I wanted to wear, threw it into my black messenger bag and left.

I arrived at the club, just as dusk was falling over the city. There was already a group of shady-looking men standing outside, waiting to be let in. I pushed past them.

“Hey, mama! You gonna shake that ass for me tonight?” one of them called out as I opened the door. His buddies cheered, whooping and hollering along. I gripped the handle tightly and mentally counted down, resisting the urge to turn back and say something insulting to them. I looked back and winked before disappearing into the dark club, their catcalls silenced when the door swung shut behind me.

It was surprising how quickly the routine came back to me. I strode to the back of the club, rounded the corner, and entered the backstage area where all the dancers were milling around. There was a wall of lockers on one side of the room and a large mirror on the other side. In the very back of the room was a small bathroom for employees only. At first, no one even noticed me, and I looked over the girls gathered around getting dressed and realized that I didn’t recognize any of them anymore. As far as I could tell, all the girls who had worked here when I was a dancer were gone. I was happy for them, that they had all been able to move on, but there was also sadness as I had been hoping for at least one or two familiar faces to help me get more comfortable.

If that was even possible.

“Allie?”

I turned at the sound of my name and my face lit up, spotting Trudy coming up behind me.

“Trudy!” I stepped forward into her open arms. “Did Marco tell you I was coming tonight?”

“No, but I would recognize that ass and those tats anywhere, girl!”

I laughed. “It’s good to see you.”

She frowned at me. “I would say the same, but girl, what are you doing back here?”

“It’s temporary, I’m running a little short on cash,” I explained, trying my best to play off the severity of my current situation.

She looked like she was about to speak, but stopped short when Marco came around the corner, clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Good evenin’ ladies,” he said. Most of the girls barely glanced up at his arrival. “This here is Allie. She’s our new girl.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it away.

“As our new girl, I think we’ll have her go out there first, gets the crowd going. It’s gonna be a good night! Allie Cat, you’re up in five.”

With that, he was gone. My eyes flew to Trudy. “You better get ready. It’s half off tap beer tonight, so we are gonna be slammed. We’ll catch up later.”

I nodded as she patted my back before turning to go get herself ready. I walked along the row of lockers and was pleasantly surprised to see my old locker was still vacant. I got undressed, putting my clothes away in the locker as I stripped down. I was just about ready when the music started and I heard Marco out on stage shouting for me, getting the crowd fired up, the cheers of liquored-up men drowning out most of his introduction.

I took one long look in the mirror, letting the cheers and hollering soak in, hoping it would energize me and get me in a better head space, but all it managed to do was make me more nervous.

“Allie Cat! Get out here, girl. These gentlemen are waiting for ya!”

The yelling got louder.

I froze—my hands were shaking and my breathing was speeding up, keeping time with my racing heartbeat as I stood at the mirror, staring at my reflection.

Moments flashed by and the cheering turned to booing and I could hear the crowd turn, getting angry and nasty. I knew I had to move, I had to go perform, but I couldn’t. My legs were like cement, bonded to the cheap laminate flooring.

“Allie, honey, you don’t have to do this. Just tell Marco you’ve changed your mind.”

Trudy’s reflection appeared in the mirror next to mine. She placed a hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I whispered.

“What the fuck’s goin’ on back here?” Marco interrupted, storming into the dressing area. “Heather, get out there!”

A blonde girl nodded and bolted towards the stage.

“Allie! You want this gig or not?” he asked, turning back to me.

“For fuck’s sake, Marco, give us a minute!” Trudy hissed.

He puffed up and looked about to explode, but at the last second turned and left, muttering something about getting soft as he went. I was surprised she was able to be so bold with him, but she had been there the longest, and she made good money and kept the rest of the girls in line when their drama threatened to spill over and cause issues at the club.

“Honey, what’s really going on?” Trudy asked. “Come over here, let’s sit.”

I let her lead me to a folding chair in the corner, by the bathroom. She sat me down and then took the seat next to me. I leaned forward and buried my face in my hands.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here. I never thought it would come to this,” I said, my voice muffled by my fist. “Again.”

“What happened to the coffee shop?”

“I quit,” I said.

“All right. Well, let’s start there. What happened next?”

Her voice was so soothing and gentle that before I knew it, I was blubbering through the whole fucking disaster that had been my life over the last few months. I told her about Spotlight, Cooper, the pictures, getting fired, Cherry Bomb getting cut apart, everything. When I finished telling my story, I sagged over onto her shoulder, tears streaking black stains down my cheeks as my mascara and thick black eyeliner washed away.

She patted my hair. “Honey, you wanna know what I think?”

“Sure,” I said, starting to wipe away the mess all over my face, but it seemed to only make it worse with each swipe.

“You’re not meant for this life. You’re too smart and too beautiful to be stuck in a pit like this,” she started.

I started to tell her she was smart and beautiful, too, but she held up a hand and stopped me.

“Allie, honey, I knew when you started here that this was just a stepping stone for you, that you would find your way in this crazy world, so I didn’t push you too hard to leave. But this time, I’m gonna tell you that you need to go home and figure out a new plan.”

“Like what?” I asked. “If you have some money-making idea for me to pay my rent and get my ass out of debt, I’m all ears. But, as is, I’m about a week away from eviction and creditors sending out the wolves to hunt me down. I don’t have any other choice. Not right now.”

“It sounds to me like you do.” Her eyes were soft with compassion, but her tone was firm. “You just told me that this wealthy man wants to give you a job. Why on earth would you turn that down and come here, begging to Marco?”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, that. I’m not even sure he was serious when he offered it to me. And I don’t even want to see him again. He’s so…he’s so frustrating. I mean, really, you should see this guy, walking around like a fucking king or something. I can’t work for someone like that.”

Trudy laughed softly. “I’m just sayin’ it has to be a helluva lot better than this dive. If some rich dude wanted to swoop in and save my ass, I’d be all over that deal!” She laughed. “Come on, honey, isn’t it worth at least asking? You wouldn’t have to stay there forever, just until you get situated better.”

I shook my head. “No, being Cooper’s charity case would be more humiliating than this.”

She started to argue but I had already made up my mind. “I’m going to see if Marco will let me try again.”

Trudy’s face fell, but she stood and gave me a hug. “Whatever you think is best. I’m here if you need to talk.”

“Thanks, Trudy. That means a lot.”

And it did. She was probably right. I was meant for bigger and better things, but for right now, this was all I had and I was only going to get one more chance.