Chapter 5

Mandy

Another shift over and I felt pretty damn good. A few different tables had requested my presence to rave about my profiteroles with Irish cream and brandy infused chocolate. Landry hated it, called it elementary and derivative, which I admitted, it might be. But it was also a customer favorite and usually sold out before lunch was over. A well-known morning show duet who filmed live daily in Las Vegas raved about them on air last week and Landry had reluctantly agreed to let me make more. His sour mood couldn’t dampen mine, though, because it was nice to know someone out there appreciated the way I sweated my ass off in the Führer’s kitchen.

My smile dimmed as I pushed back into the kitchen, breezing by Landry’s extra round midsection and heavy breathing like I didn’t notice it.

“I hope you told them that your supposed genius was all under my instruction,” he barked.

I said nothing in reply as I removed my apron, hat and chef’s coat, grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of Dodge. If I stayed another minute I might say — or do — something that would get me fired. Nothing could dampen my mood, not today. I pushed the door open and felt the hot desert sun beat down on my face.

“That’s the shit,” I practically purred. You’d think I wouldn’t want to feel the sun after spending ten hours in a hot kitchen with nearly a dozen ovens going at once. But the fresh air and sunshine was just what I needed.

Apparently, Krissy hadn’t gotten the message to stay away.

“Get off my car,” I told her, my tone dark and threatening.

Eyes wide, she pushed off, and crossed her arms. Doing her best to look tough.

“Or what?”

“Krissy, don’t fuck with me today.” She didn’t move quick enough and I invaded her space, close enough that I could smell the cigarette stink with every breath.

“I’ll leave you alone, when you agree.”

I laughed. Between her and Savior, I was all full up on people from my past coming back to haunt me. It made me reconsider the intelligence of moving back to this damn city.

“I’ll never agree, Krissy. No matter what you and your thugs think you can do to scare me. I’ll just push back even harder.”

Her thin lips curled into a sneer. “It would be a shame if your new employer found out about your past, somehow.”

And now we’ve moved on to other threats. “Go right ahead and maybe I’ll talk to the casinos about your ruthless scams.” Her eyes grew wide because she knew they would ban her sorry ass before the sun set on the day.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” I stepped even closer so she had to lean back to gain some distance. “I’m not some scared, lonely teenager anymore, Krissy. Whatever you think you can do to me, just remember it goes both ways.”

I pointed a finger at the center of her head. “If you can’t take a hint,” I applied just enough pressure to let this bitch know I meant business before pulling back. “I’ll be happy to make it easier to understand. Got it?”

She nodded, her eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. I knew what it was about. Krissy was used to me like I used to be, scared, lonely and desperate for a connection. But she’d been the one to cure me of those useless emotions. In New York, I hardened my heart against the world, but it hadn’t been fully turned to stone until I got the visit at school from a man and a woman in Army dress uniforms telling me my last family member had been killed in action.

Action. They said it like it was a fucking football game or a white water rafting adventure, not fucking war. So yeah, I wasn’t afraid. Of anything. Not anymore.

“Just because I got it,” Krissy called as I backed away from her, “doesn’t mean they will.”

“You can all give it your best shot,” I told her, not taking my eyes off her until her back was to me. I was pretty sure the guys from the parking lot were part of some type of gang, but no one bullied me. Not anymore.

“Mandy!”

I turned and gave her a cool stare, waiting for her next words.

“If you don’t do this, I’m in deep shit.”

“Then maybe you should have tried to talk to me instead of threatening me or sending your goons after me. Because honestly, I don’t give a shit about you or your problems.”

I didn’t miss the tears shining in her eyes; they did nothing for me. I didn’t soften at the sight of tears, which were probably for show anyway. Her emotions, hell, most people’s emotions didn’t impact me at all these days, and that was just how I liked it.

***

After burying Ammo something in me had died and I knew it — felt it — but I didn’t want to do anything about it. I’d isolated myself from everyone, and after the funeral and Savior, my transformation was complete. For a few brief minutes in the afterglow of spectacular sex, I felt a tiny bubble of relief. But his reaction had not only ruined the moment, his regret reminded me why I’d spent the past few years keeping my distance from the world. Aside from too brief and too infrequent talks to Ammo and obligatory outings with my classmates and professors in culinary school, I kept to myself.

It was better that way. And I reminded myself of that fact as I took the short drive back to my apartment, staring at the bleak, square building where I lived. There was nothing wrong with it, aside from being old and ugly. It was affordable and that was what mattered. I was all about pinching pennies these days. The money from the sale of the house plus Ammo’s life insurance and death gratuity from the military was adding to my nice little nest egg that I would use to open my own restaurant one day. Or, based on the past few weeks, start a new life somewhere else.

Savior was waiting for me after I emptied out my car and reached my apartment, leaning against the railing expectantly, but I walked right past him like I didn’t see him. I was in no mood for another confrontation. Not today. I entered my apartment and locked the door behind me, scanning the small room to see if anything had been disturbed. The truth was, Krissy and her friends had me a little paranoid. And after the shit that had gone down with Teddy a few weeks ago, I wasn’t taking my safety for granted. Luckily nothing had been disturbed this time, so I relaxed.

Until a loud knock startled me out of my thoughts. I knew who it was and debated, for a least a moment, ignoring the knock. But Savior was a stubborn fucker and he wouldn’t go away, so I pulled the door open just enough to look at his handsome, arrogant face.

“What?”

He took a step forward but my grip tightened on the doorknob and I planted my foot firmly behind the door. If he wanted to, he could get in, but he’d have to use some force because I wouldn’t let him in. Not again.

“Let me in, Mandy.”

“No. Tell me what you want or go away. Those are your options.”

We stared at each other for several long, tense moments before he let out a long, frustrated breath.

“I just want to clear the air.”

Of course he did. For some reason he was determined to hang onto some misguided sense of loyalty to my brother where I was concerned.

“I don’t need any air cleared, Savior. You don’t owe me a damn thing.”

“I disagree. Your brother—”

“—is dead. He’s never coming back and you coming around here won’t change that fact. He was dead when you fucked me and regretted it, so again, don’t worry about me.”

He stared at me like he didn’t recognize me, and why should he? He’d never known me as anything more than an energetic little girl completely enamored with her big brother.

“I’m sorry,” he grunted out. “And if we could just talk —”

“Apparently you have a hearing problem,” I told him, my voice hard and cold before I slammed the door in his face and locked it, letting out a long, shuddery breath. I needed time to myself, to decompress after what had started off as a pretty decent day. Until it was just about over.

I washed off the day and whipped up a quick veggie sub for dinner, curled up on the sofa and watched TV until I fell asleep and the TV watched me.

I woke up the next day, ready to do it all over again.

***

I stepped from the hot shower, cursing my lack of foresight for not choosing an apartment with a big, deep tub that I could soak in after spending all day bent over a waist-high table. But comfort wasn’t really my aim when I signed the lease on this place, just its proximity to work and the dirt-cheap rent. It was just above a crack hotel in terms of price, cleanliness and safety, but a deadbolt from the hardware store took care of the last one and that was all I cared about. A shower wasn’t a hot soak, but my muscles felt looser and I no longer had the urge to kill anyone. In my book, that was a win.

I had just slipped into a thick pair of wool socks over my workout pants that hadn’t seen the inside of a gym ever, when a knock sounded at the door. It had to be Krissy or Savior and I put my money on the latter since the former didn’t have enough competence to find my address. If she did, I’m sure I would have received a visit by now. My day had already been long and shitty, and I was in no mood for visitors.

I felt steam coming off my body at the sight of Savior. “What do you want?”

“For starters, to come in.”

I didn’t feel like arguing so I stepped back and let him in, waiting for him to speak his peace.

“Well?”

His gaze tracked over my body, heating me up against my will.

“I uhm, wanted to …” he trailed off, but those blue eyes wandered over my legs, the swell of my breasts, my lips.

In that moment I knew what this was about. All these unexpected visits. The anger.

“Fine. That’s what you want, Savior? I’m in.”

I could use a good hard fuck after the day I’d had anyway. I kept my gaze trained on his, soaking up those sapphire eyes and the need I saw in them as I pulled the racerback tank over my head.

“Let’s do this.”

I knew he’d deny why he showed up and I didn’t feel like talking anymore, so I took a few steps forward and fisted his shirt in my hands, pulling him down until our lips clashed.

He resisted at first, like I knew he would. But seconds later his lips relaxed and his hands went to my ass and squeezed, pulling me closer. His lips were especially soft against the rough scruff of his beard, drawing memories to the forefront that I’d chosen to forget.

“Mandy,” he grunted when I pulled back.

“Savior,” I shot back with a smile as I shimmied out of the tight black pants, kicking them aside until I was completely naked. I stood there with my hands on my hips, daring him to come closer or walk away. I was prepared for either option, but he closed the gap between us and grabbed my breasts in his big hands.

“Fuck me, Mandy.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” I told him seriously. “Fuck,” I bit out when he leaned forward and slicked his tongue over my nipple before pulling it into his mouth. My head dropped back and my hands shot to his hair, fingers curling around the thick locks. “Savior,” I groaned again. His mouth was magic and fierce, lighting my fire from deep within and he kept it stoked for several long minutes as his tongue, his lips, traveled up and down my body.

“Mandy,” he growled and pressed me up against the nearest wall, I turned to give him my back, arching slowly.

“Like this.” I didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to peer up into those blue eyes that shifted colors with the changing of his desire, his passion. I just wanted him to fill me up, make me come and forget about everything else. A low growl sounded behind me, along with the swish of a zipper and the sound of a condom wrapper opening.

He entered in one hard thrust that sent shivers rocketing through my body, flames burned up my already overheated flesh. He was long and thick, and from this position he was all I could feel. Everywhere.

“Yes!”

Hands braced on the wall, I pushed back with every thrust, hungry to have every inch of him buried deep inside me. Pounding into me. “Fuck,” I grunted when he grabbed my hips and slammed deep. Harder and harder, fast and rough. “More!”

One hand gripped the back of my neck and I arched my back, sending him deeper.

“Fuck, Mandy. You’re so goddamn tight.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I didn’t want words, just action so I pushed back and he froze. Something changed deep inside Savior and he moved in closer so his body molded against the back of mine. One hand on my hip and the other moved to my breast, squeezing hard as he pounded his cock deep into me over and over again. Thick and hard, he filled me, so thick and delicious as his teeth sank into the crook of my neck.

“Yes!”

My orgasm was just out of reach but when Savior pinched my nipple, that was the magic switch that unleashed the floodgates.

“Oh fuck … yes!” My whole body trembled violently as the orgasm wound its way through my veins before exploding out of my pores. The tiny tremors gripped him hard and pumped his cock until his own orgasm exploded.

“Fuck! Shit!” he roared in my ear, pounding hard and deep, his body pressing me into the wall as the orgasm shot out of him. He stilled, and then swiped his tongue across the back of my neck until I shivered.

“Mandy.”

I bit back a moan as our bodies separated, turning to him with a smile.

“Thanks.” That was the perfect way to end such a shitty day.

But apparently Savior didn’t appreciate my gratitude. “What?”

“Thanks,” I told him and placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Savior. That was great but I’m not expecting anything, so you don’t need to make up an excuse about why you need to leave and you can spare me your guilt and regret.”

He stood there, looking delicious with his tattooed chest, six pack abs and still hard cock pointing in my direction. But he was angry. “Is this some type of fucking payback?”

I laughed but there was no humor in it. “Of course not. It was a really hot, hard fuck. It was … just what I needed.”

“Why me?”

I shrugged. “Why not? What other reason would you keep showing up at my job, my apartment?”

He grunted and yanked his jeans and underwear off the floor. “Like I said before, to clear the goddamn air!”

“And I told you that there was no air to clear! But of course, you know better what I need and how I feel than I do, right?”

Disgusted, I picked up my clothes and walked across the room before turning back to him. “You can clean up, but then you need to leave.” The glow of my orgasm faded quickly and now I just felt sore and pissed off as I kicked my bedroom door shut and put my clothes on. Dropping down on the bed, I closed my eyes and listened as Savior moved around my apartment. Water running in the bathroom, his heavy footsteps on the floor and then the sound of the door closing as he left.

When I was sure he was gone, I locked the door and crashed on the bed. Even something as simple as uncomplicated as casual pleasure found a way of turning fucked up and complicated.

Maybe I just needed to invest in a really good vibrator.