Chapter 30
Nicole
This was one of the worst weekends of my life. I was likely dealing with some post-traumatic stress after the kidnapping and Noelle was urging me to see a therapist about that. I told her I just needed time to work through everything and I’d be fine.
The other part of me that hurt was the remaining pieces of my broken heart. I missed Allen a lot but I ignored his texts that started just over twenty-four hours after he broke up with me. It was too soon, at least for me. I didn’t want to be that girl who let him right back into my life because he was having second thoughts. We went through too much together and I wanted to hold on to what dignity I had left.
I went as far as to delete my account on the dating website, which I’d just left alone prior to now. I didn’t want to meet someone that way again and I would just leave it to chance. The only problem was the one person I was learning to trust and love walked away from me, ruining it for anybody else in the near future. I was broken and might end up alone in life, but at least I had Brandon and Noelle to watch. They got cuter every day and as bitter as I was, I found it in myself to be happy for her. I started to feel bad that I was making her spend so much time with me, cutting into her own life.
She was at work along with Brandon the Monday after what I started referring to as the weekend from hell. I’d assured both that I was fine and just staying home. I could lock the doors like a big girl and I had the Tazer that Brandon provided both of us with. I would be fine, but I was lonely after the place was empty.
I turned on a movie and made some popcorn as I sat on the couch to watch it. I’d put some projects on hold with my writing after my rescue to heal, so I had a couple of weeks to relax. I wasn’t just healing physically but mentally as well. I felt drained and exhausted and I gingerly stretched my legs forward onto the table with a sigh.
It was hard to believe that everything had been so different just days ago. I was entering a new relationship and moving past the way we met. I was falling in love with him.
Now I was here alone, watching my baby sister do the same thing. I even told her to go out with Brandon tonight and stay at his place. I needed to learn how to function on my own. I just didn’t want to.
I sighed and looked at my phone. It was obvious that all it would take is one phone call to get Allen over here to grovel but I still felt so uncertain about whether or not I could trust it. He already walked away at what might be the worst part of my life, so why would I take him back? Noelle wasn’t happy with his choice but she kept reassuring me we were both affected by the kidnapping. I needed to think this through and not make such a harsh judgment toward Allen.
I jumped as my phone rang, looking down at the screen to see his picture flashing on it. Allen had taken a goofy picture one night when we were out and declared it his contact photo. It made me smile to see it as sadness flooded me thinking about how good things were that night. I let it ring twice and sighed as I reached for the phone. I pressed the screen to answer it, sitting there for a moment as I waited to hear his sexy, whiskey voice. “Nicole? Are you there?”
“Yeah, I am.” I could barely speak as butterflies filled my stomach, betraying my heart.
“How are you?” he asked gently.
“How do you think?” I asked him bitterly as I rolled my eyes and I sank back on the couch. “It’s been a bad weekend.”
“I know, Nicole. I’m so sorry I walked out on you Friday night. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking for the last couple of days and I want to talk.” I frowned at his words as I weighed them in my mind. “Can we meet up?”
I thought about what my sister told me about Allen and how she was convinced we had something worth saving. I teased her that she was biased dating Brandon but Noelle only stared at me and shook her head. She saw something with us and hoped we could work it out down the line once we both had some time to think.
“Where?” I was terrified to see him but the word slipped out of my mouth.
“Dinner tonight. My place?” I knew what might happen if we were alone together as the last time played through my mind.
I hesitated. “I think I can make it.”
“I’ll see you at five.” Allen told me with a question in his voice as I felt my heart jump into my throat.
We ended the call that seemed far too short considering everything that had happened and I placed the phone beside me on the couch as I stared at the floor. I told him yes without a fight. I didn’t even want to argue with him. Was this how it was to be in a relationship and make up after a fight? Did it feel this natural no matter the level of the argument?
I leaned back and closed my eyes for a moment, needing a nap before dinner tonight. I had a few hours and Noelle would wake me up when she got home to change for her date.
I heard the door open and opened my eyes slowly, wondering what time it was. There were two voices and Noelle and Brandon appeared as she shot me a curious glance. “How do you feel?”
“Okay. Tired. I’m having dinner with Allen tonight,” I murmured.
“What?” Her voice was happy. .
“He told me he was going to keep trying. How long did it take?” Brandon cracked a smile as he looked at me.
I narrowed my weary eyes at him as Noelle shot him a stern look.
“Not long enough,” I muttered as I sat up slowly. “Can you help me get ready, Noelle?”
“Of course. Our reservation isn’t until seven. What about yours?” Her eyes twinkled as she looked at me.
“I told him that I’d be at his house at five. Is that enough time?” I asked, remembering that he told me five. So far, Allen was running this show and I felt like I needed a little control. I just didn’t know how to gain that with the little experience I had.
“How about I pick you up at four thirty and drop Nicole off before we go out?” Brandon asked
“Perfect.” Noelle patted him on the chest. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and left. Noelle turned to watch me for a moment. “So, when did he call you?”
“I finally answered this afternoon after all the texts and messages. I don’t know why but it just happened. Then I said yes to dinner without a fight. What’s wrong with me?” I asked as she sat down and slipped her arm around my shoulder.
“You miss him.” She laughed as I sighed and leaned my head against her. “You should listen to what he has to say because I’d say he went through hell just like you did. Let him talk.”
“That’s the plan. I just don’t know what to expect when I get there. I haven’t done this before.” I felt so helpless and I tried to smile. “I’m scared.”
“I have always liked the chance to talk things out. You taught me that growing up and I’ve used it in my daily life. I like knowing where I stand and letting someone else know the same. It’s healthy.”
I looked at her, remembering all the times that we talked about everything as tears filled my eyes.
“You can do the same thing, with Allen or anyone else that you want it to work with.” she continued. “You did a great job with me.”
I showered with difficulty and Noelle helped me dry off. She got me into a robe and dried my hair straight for a change. I sat there, enjoying the time with my sister as she decided on an outfit for me before picking my makeup.
I got into a dark green dress and some ballet flats since it was difficult to walk in heels right now. I looked in the mirror to see my eyes lined with a dark shadow that made them look bright and awake. Noelle had put some nude lipstick on me and I thought I looked beautiful.
Noelle was wearing a bright pink dress and the heels that I decided against. Her hair was spiky and her makeup bright but she looked amazing. Brandon was a lucky man.
We finished and she dragged me out to the couch to talk about tonight. Noelle had packed a bag for me in case I stayed the night but I assured her that I wasn’t ready for that. Noelle asked me how I felt about him and I frowned as I looked at the floor for a moment.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to stay the night but I think I love him. I just don’t want to have him dump me again tomorrow.”
“You love him?” Noelle asked as she stared at me.
“I think so. This is my first time with all of this but it’s pretty amazing. Right?” I asked as I looked at her. Noelle smiled tenderly and nodded. She got me some coffee since we had a little time before dinner and we watched another movie. “Do you love Brandon yet?”
“I think he’s pretty great but we’re just dating right now. We’ll see what happens. I kind of like the idea of us with cops that work together. We can stay together on the days and nights they’re working just chatting, watching the kids together, and cooking dinner.” I gasped at her words as she giggled. “I just see our life going on into a different chapter, but always together. Always together. That seems a little perfect to me.”
“I didn’t say that I was going to forgive him,” I reminded her.
“I’m pretty sure that you’ll hear him out and decide to try it again a different way.” She nodded her head. “I think you should.”
“I am going to go to dinner and talk to him.”
We kept chatting as we waited for Brandon, laughing, and talking about growing up as something seemed to lift from my shoulders. Maybe everything would be okay with Allen and if not, I was on the way to healing. I was on the way to being better.
Brandon showed up dressed in black slacks and a button down white shirt, looking like he was in awe of Noelle as he kissed her cheek. He laughed and assured me he advised Allen on the best takeout in Vegas as I grinned. We grabbed our purses and walked towards the door as Noelle grabbed both of our bags with a wink in my direction. I blushed and walked out to Brandon’s car, slipping into the back seat as Noelle took the front.
The drive was brief but I felt nervous as I stared out of the window. I remembered how much Allen hurt me right after saving me and the pain was still there, but I was ready to move forward with it. I was ready to give my future a chance.