Chapter 29
Riley had never felt so exhausted.
She hadn’t expected things to turn out the way they did, and nothing could have prepared her for the amount of hard work and daily struggles she and Gray dealt with. She’d been raised with wealth and plenty of it, and many times, his stubborn refusal to allow her to use her money crept deep below her skin and stuck there in a rage, till she was almost ready to scream. What was he trying to prove? That being poor and skint was better than using money she had? She didn’t care, why should he?
“Penny for your thoughts?”
She gave Gray a tired smile. The road curved hard to the right, and the apartment building loomed before them, its ugly gray sides and steep banks of windows making her feel even more beat. “I don’t think they’re worth a penny.”
His laughter was low and warm, but it was genuine, and she smiled in return. They’d had precious little to laugh about the past few months. “Oh, I doubt that,” he teased.
They walked across the parking lot, and his hand lifted to rest on the small of her back.
A glow of pleasure began, streaking down her body in long, slow bursts of heat. She wanted to tilt backward and press deeper into that caress. “I was just thinking that I’d love to go swimming.”
“Me too,” he said, darting his eyes to the ocean.
Riley noticed dark shadows springing up under his eyes, and a pang of worry assaulted her. Is going to a ski resort the best thing to do? She wanted a change of scenery, needed one desperately, but she knew Gray was born and bred for water and sand.
His hand stayed on her back as they headed up the steep stairs. Little tingles ran through Riley’s skin. They hadn’t been very close the last few weeks, as work and worry had worn them down. The decision to go had invigorated her for the moment, and it seemed, him as well.
She loved him. Gray needed to know that. He made sex appetizing, and knew how to make her a hot mess. She wanted that. Right now.
In the apartment, she wasted no time. She turned to him, and her lips found his in a hungry, searching kiss while her hands yanked his shirt upward. He broke the kiss long enough to get rid of his shirt, followed quickly by her own.
His breathing sounded quick, and hungry. He reached down, his hand sliding along the exposed skin of her thigh. “Drop your shorts,” he commanded. “I want to touch you.”
Her pulse raced violently as she did as she was told.
“More. Panties too.”
She realized her breath was sporadic as well and tried to focus on that as she watched him and dropped the garment to the floor.
“Incredible,” Gray whispered as he nodded and then licked his lips. His arms slipped around her and he lifted her, only to set her on the table a second later.
“Gray,” Riley whispered, her voice shaking. The coolness of the table felt good against her skin.
“Trust me.” He smiled wickedly at her. “Lean back. On your elbows.”
She reclined against the table and opener her thighs a little more, his fingers sliding along the softness of her inner thigh. Gray leaned toward her, his fingers brushing against the junction between her thighs. She let out a gasp of surprise, her heart almost stopping in her chest.
He did it again and her hips arched slightly, her body pressing against him with its need.
“Damn, you are so beautiful,” Gray whispered, watching her. “You need someone to love you deeply, every day.” He slipped his finger closer, touching her wetness. “I can almost taste you, Riley. May I?”
She nodded, no longer trusting her voice.
His finger found her need and sunk into her wetness. She groaned and dropped her head back, her eyes closing. She arched her hips again, wishing his tongue would join his finger. “Please, Gray. Now.”
His head pressed between her legs, his tongue licking hungrily at clit. Riley grew lost in the pleasure of his finger and mouth. Her body moving with his motion.
“Look at me. I want to see you when you come.” Gray lifted his head and waiting for her to lift her head up to see him. His motion stopped until she opened her eyes.
He continued his torment as she watching him, her eyes hooded as Gray’s tongue darted in and out. He slid two fingers inside of her, his pace quickening.
She gripped the end of the table, lost in the rhythm of his fingers, his tongue pressing hard against her sex. “Faster.” She didn’t recognize her own voice.
He picked up the pace, his thick fingers bringing her to the edge of the universe and throwing her off violently.
She screamed, her fingers digging into the table as she rolled her hips, her body exploding as stars lit up her vision.
“Fuck me,” he whispered, slowing his assault until she pressed her hand to his.
“Stop. No more,” she choked out, whimpering on the end of her words.
“I’m only getting started.” He pulled his hand from her slowly as she slumped back onto the table, her heartbeat pumping along her spine, in her neck, her stomach and deep inside her womb. She opened her eyes and looked over at him as he slipped his fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking at them as he watched her.
“More. I want that all over me.” He finished his visual assault and repositioned himself, stepping close to her and slipping inside of her before she had a chance to catch her breath.
His hungry movements set her body trembling again and their movements grew frantic within a few thrusts. It took no time before she was at the edge again, this time with Gray. They fell together, both sweating, and grasping each other.
Their breathing slowly regulated. His hands swept up and down her sides, brushed against her shoulders, then stroked her hair. She scattered little kisses along his neck and the underside of his jaw.
“You still wanna go swimming?” he asked.
She smiled. “Are you just trying to come up with an excuse to use the outdoor shower by the beach?”
Gray roared with laughter. “I don’t need an excuse. That thing has great water pressure, and our shower in here sucks.”
She smiled, knowing just how true it was. “Yeah, it sucks, hard, barely a trickle sometimes. I’ll be glad to be somewhere where I can wash my hair all at once instead of in sections.”
Immediately, his face twisted up with remorse, indicating that she’d struck a blow. Riley instantly regretted it, but she didn’t know how to fix it. Before she could think of a single word to soothe him, he said, “Let me just grab my suit.” He then headed toward the balcony, to retrieve the swimming trunks he’d left there to dry.
Riley grabbed a bathing suit, still damp from the swim she had taken the day before, and struggled into it. As she did, the resentment came back. At the home her parents owned in the Hamptons they had a spinner, a clever little machine that dried the bathing suits they wore out on the beach. It was such a stupid little thing, and she knew it, but she hated that her bikinis never dried all the way in that horribly hot place. She didn’t want to be materialistic, but she had taken so much for granted, and now all those luxuries were gone. Yeah, like the convenience of just picking up a phone and ordering whatever I want to eat, without having to count our change first to see if I can even afford it, she thought. She found a towel as Gray slid his swim trunks over his thighs.
Hand in hand and barefoot, they walked down the stairs. The steps were always covered with a fine drift of sand and dirt, and even that annoyed her. Still, she realized it was a low-rent apartment, not a five-star hotel, and the complex didn’t give a damn about providing any custodial services.
The beach was empty and littered with the trash left behind by the careless tenants of the complex and the few remaining tourists. It would be raked and fresh in the morning, but at night, it felt tired and forlorn. Really, no matter how pretty it was when it was clean, Riley would not miss the place. She knew it was a mistake to go there, a foolish and ridiculous notion. They had run away like two love-stricken teenagers, and all they had to show for it were a few dollars in their pocket and a growing resentment toward one another. As they swam out farther into the waters, Riley finally admitted to herself that the resentment and bitterness was the biggest reason she needed to leave. The place had sapped their energy and enthusiasm, and she felt them growing apart. That badly frightened her, and she was ready to cut and run before any further damage was done to their fragile and relatively new love.
The ocean was warm and very salty. Its cool depths slapped against her body like a lover’s caress, and she let herself relax and really enjoy it for a little while, as she had when they had first arrived, filled with naïve hope and laughter. She watched as Gray swam past her, his body cutting through the waves like a well-oiled machine.
The stars had come out, silvery and bright against the ebony dome of the heavens. She sighed and lazily kicked her feet to make her way back to shallower waters so she could stand and allow the waves to buffet against her body.
Gray joined her there and stood looking out at the sea for a long time, his feet and legs planted solidly in the surf. He sighed, a sound that cut her to the soul, making her once again second-guess her need to go.
He wants to stay, Riley battled within herself. There were moments she loved it here, like now, but there was so much she no longer enjoyed. She’d been so busy trying to make sure Gray had what he needed—saltwater, sand, surf, and sun—that she had shoved her own needs to the back burner. Lately, those desires had come roaring back into her mind. She done everything to please her parents, now she was doing everything to please Gray. She loved him, but there was more to living than just love.
She was tired of her mind having to translate Spanish all the time. Not only that, but the culture shock alone was enough to make her feel off balance and strange. That, coupled with their dire financial circumstances, was torturous, especially since those money troubles were wholly unnecessary. If he’d just stop being so ridiculous about the money! She had the money, but he wouldn’t budge on the issue.
Gray finally turned away and headed for the strip of dirty sand. Riley followed him, feeling the distance growing with each step. They’d been so close just a short while ago.
Gray stopped at the shower. “You wanna go first?”
“Heck no. It’s bound to be cold,” she said, looking around and realizing that they weren’t the only ones who preferred those showers. They were obviously well used, and that meant the hot water would not last long.
“You like cold, though, right?” he asked, with more ire and sarcasm in his voice than he probably intended.
“Not in the shower, Gray,” she said, not humored in the least.
He grinned sheepishly at her, realizing he’d stepped on thin ice, then reached in, turned the water on full blast, and ducked under. “It’s hot outside, the cool water feels perfect.”
“You’re probably right.” She didn’t want to fight. She was tired and knew being miserable wasn’t fair on him. She just sometimes couldn’t help herself lately.
They took turns both using the small bottle of body wash, and shampoo before wrapping their towels around their bodies. Silently they gathered their things and heading up the stairs.
In the room, they stripped out of their wet clothes, rinsed the sand off their feet, and slid into bed.
Riley looked over at Gray. “Are you really okay with us leaving here?”
His fingers played with a few strands of her hair, pulling the ends, then releasing and gripping it to run to the ends again. “Yes.”
She drew in a breath that made her lungs ache. “Thank you. I was thinking Aspen would be good for us. I know it isn’t your ideal destination.” She hesitated a moment, trying to found somewhere he might like. “How would you feel about Lake Tahoe?”
His brow wrinkled. “I don’t know. I’ve never been.”
“There’s water,” she said, and she instantly knew how lame it sounded, like some horribly scripted argument by the obvious underdog in a presidential debate. She cleared her throat and went on, “I inherited a cabin there. It’s pretty and a little out of the way. I figure we can regroup there, you know…just get our bearings and decide what we want to do next.” She took a deep breath, steeling herself. “You won’t have to see many people if you don’t want to.”
The relief on his face hurt her heart as she came to understand exactly what worried him the most: It was not lost on her that Gray was highly disturbed by her large bank accounts and his empty one. Still, as much as she hurt for him, she was exhausted by the endless menial work that didn’t help her flex her intellect and left her sore and beaten down. She missed having money, some of the lifestyle she was used to. It was that pure and simple, and now, it was time for Gray to let her do something about it.
She’d prove it to him. They could have happiness, with just a little more money. Not a ton, but just enough to take the pressure off of them.