Chapter 16
Nicole
I woke up in the morning after the short call with Allen, feeling unsettled. I missed him after such a short time, and I shifted in the empty bed. Noelle was already up for the day. I listened to the sounds of the apartment for a few minutes. She’d been working hard at the new show and was probably there, so I rested back against the pillows.
I needed to talk to her, but there was always later. I thought back to Allen, and the time we spent together, which was great until I found out about the bust. I knew that a part of me was being stupid. It meant he wasn’t there looking for a girl and I did stand out in the crowd. And he wasn’t just another pervert.
It also meant I didn’t go home with any of those men.
I just couldn’t get past the fact that he lied to me about something so important. I felt betrayed by Allen, and I realized it had a lot to do with my trust issues, but it hurt. I couldn’t help but think about the day I met Ricky and how worthless he made me feel. He didn’t have to touch me to make me feel dirty, and I shivered as the feeling washed over me again. There was a lot of good to that club being shut down and the auction ending. I didn’t even know what happened to the girls that I’d been there with and worried about them. I hoped they’d be okay in this process and Bennett would end up getting out of it. She was a good-hearted person and was trying to get out of it just before this. I trusted everything she said, and I looked at my phone, wondering if I should text her.
Not today. I was meeting with Allen tomorrow and I would ask then. I needed to know so many things, which was part of the reason I was going at all. I also wanted to see him because I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
My mind drifted again to the night we slept together as I smiled. He was so careful and skillful at everything he did, and I didn’t let myself think too much about how he got to that point. All that mattered was he was with me in that moment, making love to me and wanting more. Desire flooded my body as I remembered the way he sucked on my clit, making me crazy with need. I arched my back and pressed my thighs together as my body screamed silently for a release.
I never touched myself before. It was too hard taking care of a sister and life, and by the time it was quiet enough, I was passing out from exhaustion. I knew that I was alone now so I slid my hand over my hard nipples, pausing as the friction led to a shot of electricity between my legs. I let out a squeal, listening for Noelle to respond but all was quiet. I pinched myself and tugged the way that Allen did, loving what it did to the rest of me. I left one hand there and slid the other between my legs and under the shorts I was wearing.
My pussy was soaked, and I touched myself slowly, marveling at the feeling. It wasn’t the same as Allen’s mouth or hand, not at all. It was still intimate, and I found my clit, needy and hard. I stroked it, breathing in deeply at the way everything tingled and spread my legs apart. I was wet and hot as I moved my finger uncertainly, finding the best parts to touch.
The pressure built and I knew I was close as I kept touching myself, eventually sliding a finger inside as I kept adding pressure to my clit. It was not the same as Allen making me come, not at all, but it was a release. It was a release that I desperately needed and would continue to need, and I moaned as I moved closer to the edge of my orgasm. I was full of anticipation, and as I came I dropped my head back and moaned Allen’s name as heat washed over my hand.
It took a few minutes to recover, but I had time since I was alone. I enjoyed the pulsing deep inside my body and the way I kept the orgasm going by slowly touching myself. I smiled as I thought about being with Allen again. Was I ready for that?
I stayed in bed for a little while longer and then got up to make coffee in the ancient coffee pot Noelle had purchased when we moved here. We used terrible coffee, but it was necessary for both of us, and I was embarrassed to think about how young Noelle was when she started to drink it. I was lounging around the living room watching television, feeling very lazy when Noelle walked in carrying some bags.
“You’re up! Brian sent me home with food from the deli around the corner, and I brought enough for both of us.” She joined me on the couch, and we dug into the food, making me smile as I realized that I didn’t need to make Top Ramen today.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“Allen called me again last night,” I told her as she raised an eyebrow at me. He’d been calling every so often, but she didn’t understand that I finally answered the call. “I talked to him.”
Her eyes widened as she bit into the Italian club and she chewed with a dreamy look in her eyes. Once she was done chewing, she swallowed and took a drink of the soda that she’d brought home. “How did that go? You’ve seemed pretty down since that happened, not that I blame you.”
“He kept asking me to dinner. I tried to find a way out of it but he finally talked me into going tomorrow.” Her face showed me that she didn’t believe that it took all that long, but I ignored her and reached for the drink. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Give him a chance. Listen.” She finished chewing another bite. “He probably wants to explain everything in the proper setting. It was too emotional before for both of you, and he deserves that chance. As weird as your meeting was, there might be something to it. Hear him out.”
“He lied to me,” I reminded her as she took a slow breath.
“He withheld the truth, Nicole. That is different, and he did it for valid reasons. He’s undercover. This isn’t like our family and how they lied to us.” She knew my insecurities because she had the same ones that I tried to prevent in her. I felt like I failed her, but she set her sandwich down and reached out for my hand. “We can’t push people away because of them. We need to find our tribe, and although it wasn’t a traditional way to meet him, he made an effort for you. Maybe we’re meant to have extraordinary adventures in life.” Noelle giggled as I finally smiled. “He’s also hot as hell. Let’s just think about that for a minute.”
We both laughed, and I finally reached for my turkey sandwich. I took a bite and let out a moan that had me remembering what I was doing earlier this morning.
“This is so good.” I knew we had the money I’d earned, but we tried not spend it too much. Noelle was making a little more money, and I was doing some freelance work to make ends meet since I didn’t know what was going to happen with Allen. I didn’t want to depend on him.
“There’s a plus to working with a real show.” She grinned and took another bite of her sandwich. “Does Allen have any friends?”
“He has a partner but I’ve never met him. Calm down, little sister.” I warned her as she burst out laughing. Being the younger one, Noelle was braver than I was when it came to dating. She wasn’t stupid about it, but she enjoyed life even through the hardest times.
“Cops can be hot. Think how safe we’d feel!” She bounced up and down in her seat. “What are you going to wear tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” I replied shaking my head.
“There’s that black dress that I got at the thrift store. It’s sexy but not slutty, and it will make him forget his name! Pair it with that purple sweater and you have the perfect outfit.”
“I am not going home with him, Noelle. We’re just talking tonight,” I said.
“Uh, huh. I wouldn’t hold out for that guy,” Noelle shook her head as I glared at her. “Hey, I am speaking hypothetically here.”
“You’d better be,” I warned her as we kept eating lunch.
She had the rest of the night off and had some movie tickets, so we decided to go check something out. We hadn’t gone out too much since moving here, and Noelle got excited as she finished eating. We agreed to use some of the money for popcorn and candy, and I went to pull the sheets from the bed to wash them as she finished some work on the computer. I didn’t want her to know what I did in here, still dealing with the new sexual activity in my life. I cleaned up the apartment, feeling renewed by the night out and the dinner date tomorrow. I felt some hope as I worked, knowing that we had a future ahead of us no matter what happened.
We dressed in jeans and cute shirts before borrowing the neighbor’s car to go out, excited to get on the town. The theater was near the casinos and we parked in a lot that only the locals knew about before walking over to buy the tickets.
I glanced around while we were in line, feeling eyes on me. I didn’t see anybody and turned back to Noelle as she slid the coupon to the cashier to get the tickets. I had to be imagining things or there was the fact that we lived in one of the most crowded cities in the united states.
Noelle wanted to see the latest romantic comedy, and I agreed if we could get a large popcorn. We hit the snack bar and got our treats, taking it to the theater and getting our seats as we chatted about her job. She was excited about it, and I smiled as I thought ahead to my date tomorrow.
The movie made me think of Allen as I watched, nibbling on bites of popcorn as we snuggled together. It was cheesy as movies were but it was cute. There was almost always a happy ending, and a part of me craved that as we neared the end, and Noelle teared up when they got engaged on the beach.
“That was perfect. I hope that someone proposes to me on the beach,” she declared as she walked out, tossing the empty wrappers but keeping the popcorn. We took it to the car, and she shyly suggested walking through some of the casinos together. I agreed, and we tucked our purses across our bodies and walked into the closest one. It was all lights and color as I glanced around with a smile, seeing why she wanted to move here.