Chapter 35
Gray blinked and caught sight of the sunlight creeping across the floor. He’d fallen asleep without even realizing it, but he felt no more rested.
Riley cracked open an eye and smiled at him. “How about a nice, long hike?” she asked sleepily
Uh, how about no? he thought, staring at her, devoid of expression. His mood was rotten, and he knew it, but he couldn’t blame that on her. Somehow, he mustered a faux smile and a cheerful lilt to his voice as he answered, “Sounds great…and it looks like the coffee arrived already.” He tried to be happy about that, but he saw nothing normal about someone walking into their bedroom while they slept. Luxury my ass, he thought, scowling at the carafe with steam creeping out the top. Have any of these rich people ever heard of invasion of privacy? I bet that housekeeper got a good look at my morning wood…and liked it.
“What’s wrong?” Riley asked, taking note of his sour expression.
“Oh, nothing,” he thought, trying to interject a bit of humor into his tone. “I was just wishing that tray could walk itself over here.”
“Me too.” She stretched lazily, climbed out of bed, and padded over to the tray. She brought it back, settled it on the clever little stand that rested on little legs on the bed, and climbed back in the sheets next to him.
To accompany the coffee, there were cute, tiny Danishes and a few sweet rolls, two crystal goblets filled with fruit, and a small container of thick, creamy yogurt.
Apparently, they haven’t heard of real meals either. I could eat all of this myself and still be hungry.
“Oh, how perfect! Yum!” Riley squealed, like a kid on Christmas morning.
He sighed inwardly. It’s gonna be a long day. His mood was already foul, and it only worsened as they finished up the tiny breakfast meant for rabbits or gnomes.
As they headed out of the house for a hike, he sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. Really, the physical activity was the only thing keeping him sane. He tried to keep a handle on his misery, as he knew it was stopping Riley from truly relaxing, but he couldn’t seem to help it. So badly, he wanted to enjoy the place as she did, but every single moment, that vast, shining wealth of hers was slammed into his face in ways he just could not ignore.
He should be pumped about it, take it for what it was worth. But he couldn’t. It bothered him.
How can I compete with any of this? he thought, looking around. What can I possibly offer her when she literally has everything? She’ll never think I’m worth it…because I’m not.
He knew from the outset that she was rich, but it had not even occurred to him how rich she was. He also didn’t realize how much that money meant to her, not until they landed at that mansion she insisted on calling a cabin. I’ve held her back for too long already, he admonished himself, and that was the thought that sat the highest in his mind as they walked higher.
They didn’t really talk during their hike; they just tried to burn off some of the nervous energy that was torturing both of them. Gray was bored, but he was also anxious. He needed money and a job, she had a career to get back to, and there they were, on a hike that was going to get them nowhere.
It would only be a matter of time before they had to broach the subject that neither of them wanted to address. They were back in the States, back in the cradling arms of her money and all that luxury, her housekeepers and groundskeepers, people who brought her coffee and thawed her steaks without her even having to ask. She’d made it clear that she wanted to go back to New York, to get back to living the life she knew, with the friends she missed. Gray understood all that, but it didn’t sound at all like the life for him. As far as he was concerned, the Big Apple was rotten to the core and full of worms, not his scene at all.
But what am I supposed to do? he wondered as he stared at her. He didn’t want to give her up. He was sure he could find a job in New York, with his experience and education, but the idea of being penned in by towering buildings that blocked the sun sent shudders through his entire body, even worse than the shivers the Lake Tahoe climate heaped upon him. He hated the idea of city life. He had been there, and the place ranked low on his idea of a great place to visit, much less to live in. The last thing on Earth he wanted was to be there, but he was torn in two by the fact that the first place he wanted to be was with Riley.
So what, I’m just supposed to change my entire life to suit her? he suddenly thought, anger rising within him. Instantly, that selfish feeling was followed by a hard-hitting blast of guilt. She had gallivanted off to the Dominican Republic with him, and she’d done her best there, in spite of the real poverty they experienced. It was obvious that she was completely miserable, in spite of the sandy, sunny shores that surrounded them, and he could not ask her to keep living a life she was not cut out for at all. Sure, it had been fun at first, but when reality set in, so did the harsh reality of their vast differences, and he knew there was no way around those.
“Riley!”
Gray’s mood curdled even more when a strange guy with a sun-bright smile and bleach-blond hair came their way. He was dressed in one of those ridiculous, puffy coats that made him look like a tire company mascot, and he held a ski pole in each hand. His skis were tossed over one shoulder, and the look on his face said he was none too happy to see Gray, even if he was thrilled to see Riley.
“Brent!”
Brent? Of course. Brent, Trent… Just fucking get bent, Gray thought, his mood darkening as he thought of all the uppity young men who had stepped up to his bar at his father’s resort.
Oblivious to Gray’s torture, Riley pulled Brent into a hug. “What are you doing in Tahoe this time of year? The snow’s not set yet, so you can’t be skiing!”
“I was but only on a short slope, barely any powder.” Brent’s eyes slid to Gray. He lifted his chin in a careless, arrogant gesture. “And who’s this?” he asked Riley, as if Gray was some sort of lap dog who couldn’t possibly understand English or speak for himself.
“Grayson,” Gray said, giving the snobby skier a lethal smile.
Brent responded with an ice-cold glare and a grin that couldn’t have been more fake.
“Brent and I grew up together,” Riley explained. “His family owns the next cabin over, and he lives just down the hall at our home in New York.”
“How about you?” Brent asked Gray.
“Oh, I’m from Florida,” Gray said, adding a grim twist to his smile.
Brent missed nothing, and Gray knew it. Those eyes dismissed him as surely as if he was nothing more than a little dab of shit on one of Brent’s expensive ski boots. Gray wanted to punch him right in the face.
Brent seemed keenly aware of that fact, but his smile did not dim. Instead, his lip lifted off his teeth, giving him the look of a cute but feral little dog. “Florida’s nice enough for a visit, I guess, but I’d never live there. It’s just too…Florida, ya know? I mean, it’s—”
“Hey, what are you doing now, Brent?” Riley cut in, probably noticing the angry reddening of Gray’s cheeks. “Heading home?”
“I’m, uh…” He shoved a pair of designer sunglasses back off his head and over his eyes. “It’s been one long day. It just shocked me to see you, since it’s not really skiing season. I thought I had the whole place to myself, except for the help and the locals.”
The help? Tell me the asshole did not just say that, Gray struggled to keep from impaling the idiot with his own expensive ski pole
“Same here,” Riley said. “It’s good to see you though.”
“You too. We oughtta grab lunch or something in the city. I’m going to work at Dad’s firm for a few years, get in some experience before I’m ass-deep in real work. It sucks, but it’s how we live, right?”
We? Even behind the heavy glasses with the ridiculous mirrored lenses, Gray knew exactly what expression was on Brent’s face, an expression that said he was not one of them, not part of the we—Brent and Riley—belonged to. The borrowed boots and coat aside, he was not of their ilk, and anyone could see that, shades or not. He did not belong to them, to their world. He was not used to fancy houses and big money, and he didn’t have any of the things they had. Once again, as chilly as it was out in the open air, those little lances of resentment and anger burned through him. He wasn’t born poor, and he was not exactly a useless, gold-digging bastard either, but Brent’s unseen glare and the tone in his voice sure made him feel like one.
“Lunch sounds great,” Riley said. “We’re just gonna finish our hike and pack it in for the day, I think. That snow last night wasn’t very heavy, but I’m sure the plows haven’t come through yet.”
Brent snickered. “Yeah, you’d think they’d take care of us first, since we’re the only good thing about this place. I mean, without this place, all these people would be out of a job, right?”
You’re joking, right? It was the same kind of shitty entitlement he heard from tourists in Florida, and Gray still despised it. He was seriously millimeters close from punching this guy.
“Well, see you around,” Brent said, then flashed that ridiculous smile again and strolled away.
Gray and Riley watched him go before she asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean?’
“Well, you were kinda…rude,” she said. “You didn’t hardly say two words to him.”
And he oughtta be thankful I didn’t, Gray thought, because the only two I can think of are fuck off. He started walking away and threw a casual, “Sorry,” over his shoulder.
She hurried after him. “Gray, what the hell? Why’re you acting like you’re better than him?”
He paused in his step. She was completely oblivious to the way he’d talked about the people who worked here. He swallowed the words back and retorted, “I said I’m sorry.”
“You don’t sound sorry.”
He darted his eyes around, from left to right, and saw nothing but a foreign landscape he desperately wanted to run away from. Damn it! Where is that freaking trail? Finally, he spotted a thin line in the fresh, light snow and started walking toward it.
“Gray, talk to me. What’s wrong?” Riley pleaded. “I mean, you can’t be mad at Brent. You just met him.”
“Since you’re so insistent that I’m being rude, why don’t you tell me what I’ve done wrong?” he spat, utterly pissed off. He didn’t understand how she could be so blind, why she couldn’t see that the guy was a jerk and a spoiled, falsely entitled one at that.
Her hand caught his arm, and he turned to face her, so close he could see her nostrils flaring. “Brent’s an old friend,” she said. “I told you that.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
Her hand tightened around his arm. “Are you jealous of him, or something?”
“What?” He almost laughed. “Hell, no!”
“Then why were you so rude to him?”
“I don’t know, Riley. Maybe his spoiled, rich, asshole routine wore thin two seconds in.”
Her face went white. “Wow. That’s a fucked-up thing to say.”
“Did you not hear the same words I did?”
Her lips went flat. “No, I guess not.”
“Then you weren’t listening.” He kept climbing. He was certain he was going the wrong way but was too mad to care.
Riley trailed after him, stomping on the underbrush. “Oh, trust me when I tell you I was listening. What I heard was you being a jackass!”
He turned his head. “Me? What the hell, Riley? He said that shit about Florida and the people that work here, and how the roads should be plowed first for you guys… how can you defend that fucking trust fund jerk? Friend or not, he’s an asshole.”
“Wow. Tell me how you really feel,” she said, clearly offended.
The trail ended abruptly in a small pile of snow and a fallen rock. Gray swore loudly and tried to turn, but Riley was on the path, in his way, and still furious. “That’s exactly how I feel! And I wouldn’t have said so otherwise. Brent’s a jerk, a rich, spoiled Daddy’s boy. Not only that, but he was obviously hitting on you.”
“Hitting one me?” In that moment, her temper exploded. “Are you serious, Gray? Really! Are you fucking serious?”
“Hell yes.” His jaw clenched. “Damn right, I’m serious.” This was it. This was where it was all going to end. In the freakin’ snow. Maybe he’d get lucky and an avalanche would swallow him up.
“How can you even say that? You don’t even know him.”
“What I know is that he said all that shit about how the rich, jackass snobs should have their shit plowed before the others who need access to the roads, just because you give people—no, not people…the help—jobs or some such uppity-ass shit. And all that about grabbing lunch in the city. Wow, Riley. Making a date with the guy right in front of me!”
Her hands balled into fists and landed on her lean hips. “You’re so off.”
“Really? You need to open your eyes, Riley. Why should I be nice to someone who says things like that?”
“That was not what he said!” Her yell echoed across the closed-off trail and bounced around on the rocks hat flanked it.
“The hell it wasn’t. It was almost verbatim, but why you didn’t hear the asshole is beyond me. Oh, wait. Maybe it’s because you’re a trust fund kid, too, one of them, one of the so-called we he kept talking about.” Instantly, Gray realized he’d gone way too far, but it was too damn late to take it back, even if he wanted to. The thing was that he didn’t want to take it back, not one word of it. He was mad and tired of trying to squeeze so uncomfortably into a life that was not cut out for him, nor he for it. What was more, he knew he had asked her to do the very thing he could not do, and that made him even madder, at himself and at her.
“Fuck you, Gray! Yes, I’m a trust fund kid, but so what?” She glared at him, her chest rising and falling as she panted. “What do you want from me, anyway? I gave up everything to be with you! I’ve been trying to make it work, and I sure as heck tried in that hellhole of an apartment, but all we did was get madder and madder at each other because we were broke and tired and unhappy. You kept going on and on about how great it was, even when we were both miserable. How can you expect me to change my entire fucking life all the fucking time, when you won’t do a thing to change yours?” She turned and then spun back around pointing her finger at him. “Personally, I think that makes you the asshole and the jerk here, and that’s got nothing to do with Brent or trust funds!” She then backed off, breathing hard.
His hurt pride burned over the ache in his heart. He shouted back, “It obvious you can’t live without all the stupid things you need with your big money. I’ll never be able to give any of that to you, so why are we even together? Go have lunch with Brent, and while you’re at it, marry him. You should be with him, the world’s most eligible asshole. You’ll make a lovely freaking couple, and your mommies and daddies will be so proud of you.”
She glared at him. “Maybe I should be! Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like I constantly have to apologize to a whiny douchebag who hates his life just because he didn’t inherit anything from his family, a guy who is angry at me just because I was born into it. That’s your real issue, Gray! You can’t get over that, and your pride won’t let you.”
“Fuck you, Riley! I’ve never asked for anything in my life. I’ve worked for everything I’ve ever had, all of it.” He tried to hide it, but he was angry that Jon had cut him out of the family fortune after all the hard work he’d put in, and it only made him angrier that Riley knew him well enough to see right through that. “Go to hell!”
“I’ve already been there, in that stupid apartment with you!”
They stood there for the longest time, panting and glaring at each other. Finally, Riley shoved her hands in her coat pockets and kicked a small rock while Gray glowered at her. They had fought before, but never like that. He also had no idea what was going to happen next. He loved her, but everything both of them said was true. She really was a spoiled rich kid, and he had nothing to offer, nothing at all. He could wish all he wanted to, but in the end, all he had to give her was his love and a few good romps in bed, and it just wasn’t enough. He couldn’t believe he’d told her to fuck off. He’d never said that to a girl before, especially not one he loved and respected. He’d just thrown away the best thing in his life. Over jealousy and what?
He stepped backward, onto the solid ground beneath his heels. He didn’t realize it until too late that his next step would have him standing on nothing but thin air.