Chapter 23

Scott

It was early Thursday evening and there was a bit of time before I went out Ubering for the night. I sat down and pulled up the old business plan I had started to create. I went through each line, scaling the company down by a massive amount. I couldn’t believe I had actually thought I would be able to accomplish something as big as I had originally set out to do. I’d had some serious goals before everything came tumbling down around me, but back then they really didn’t feel that big. Maybe it was because every plan I had was now scrubbed and I felt like things would never turn around for me.

When I was done altering the numbers, I sat down with the calculator and punched them in. I went through each line meticulously, making sure not to miss a thing. When I was done, I sat back and stared at the calculator screen. Not only was I short, but I was short by a whole lot, and that was only doing the minimum with the place. I threw my pen down on the table and leaned my head back, rubbing my eyes and groaning loudly. I was pissed. Even more than that, I was livid. My dreams were unreachable at this point. There was no way I could safely make it happen. It was straight back to the drawing board, and after I had spent years of my life trying to make my dreams happen.

I sighed and shook my head. I was going to have to postpone the store and go out and find another job. There wasn’t anything I could do about it, and being so bitter and angry wasn’t making anything better. My mother always did one thing very, very well. She let the bad stuff roll off her shoulders because it never did any good to harp on it when you could be spending that same energy changing it. I was going to have to wait. That was the reality of it, so I needed to put my head down and move on.

I got up from the table and went outside, where I grabbed the paper from the driveway. I waved at my neighbor, an older woman who liked to sit on her front porch every morning and enjoy a cup of coffee. Those were the things I missed, enjoying the little things without all the stress and nagging. When I got inside, I spread the help wanted section out across the table and grabbed a sharpie. I scanned the retail sections, but nothing caught my eye, and nothing paid enough to be able to continue saving. I moved over to the manual labor section where there was an ad for a construction worker. It was a smaller company than the one I worked for before, but I knew their name. It was worth a shot. There didn’t seem to be anything else in the paper that morning. I circled the ad and wrote the information down, realizing I was going to have to create a resume. It had been fourteen years since I had looked for a job, and I felt slightly lost.

All of this was my fault. Every last terrible, torturous second of it was my own doing. I could have stayed away from Cassie like I’d told everyone else to do. But no, I gave in to my primal instincts, and this was where it had gotten me. The truth was, though, after all of that, I still really missed her. I could smell her lavender shampoo on my pillow when I lay down at night, and it did nothing but make me even crazier about everything. For a brief moment, I had actually thought I was happy. I had actually thought there was someone out there who got me, who understood the way my mind worked. I had let that cloud my judgment and I’d let her into my life. It was something I had told myself I would never do. I would never let a woman take away everything I had worked so hard for. That flew right out the window the first time I looked into those beautiful green eyes, and it had been a disaster ever since.

I had called her a million times, and she never once picked up the phone, called me back, or even sent me a text. She let me go through everything on my own, and I didn’t understand it. If she didn’t want anything to do with me, if she really thought I wasn’t good enough for her, then why couldn’t she have just left me alone? Instead she came to my house and tried to apologize, but why? So I would know she was okay? She could have done that over the phone, and it would have saved us both a lot of heartbreak. It was baffling to me that she would drive all the way over and not tell me anything that I needed to hear. I guessed I would never know the true reason for her popping by unexpectedly, but what did it matter? She was gone, and I had made damn sure with my pride to not let her in at all.

I didn’t know what had come over me when she’d apologized, but I had torn into her. I’d lied to her face about why I had been with her. I wasn’t the kind of guy who would sleep with someone for such a stupid reason. Nor was I the guy who would risk everything for no reason whatsoever. I felt like a prick for telling her all of those lies. She had taken it really hard. I had seen it in her dewy eyes. It was better that way though. She needed a clean break from me, because after what happened with her father, there was no way the two of us could be together. She wasn’t going to leave that lifestyle or her family, and I would never fit in with them or be welcomed. It would have been a back-and-forth disaster until, finally, it ended in even more tears and heartbreak than it already had.

She needed to move on, and so did I. I had my life to clean up, and her father had been right. She had a bright future ahead of her and I would have slowed her down. I put the marker down on the table and let out a deep breath, feeling the anger subside and sadness take its place. I looked down at my phone and realized I was wasting valuable time sitting there. I needed to get on the road and grab some riders. I grabbed my bag of snacks and my keys, and I headed out for the evening.

The night shift was good, with more than the normal amount of people out and about looking for a ride. It was a really good night financially, and it helped me keep my mind off everything that had been going on in my life. When I was done, I decided to stop at the store and pick up a few things for the house. I was going to have to start eating at home more to save money, so I needed to peruse the shelves and figure out what food to buy. I parked in the nearly empty parking lot since it was so late and walked into the store, smiling at the greeter as I entered. I hated shopping with a passion, but there I was in the giant box store moving through the frozen food section, trying to decide which pizza I wanted.

As I moved around the aisle to the next, I looked up, hearing a group of guys talking loudly and laughing. I took a step back so they wouldn’t see me, as that asshole Carl was at the head of the gang as usual. He looked wasted, like he had just come from the bar, and there was no way I had the energy in me tonight to deal with his ass, especially if he was drunk. I skipped the beer aisle, not needing anything from there anyway, and moved on, finishing up my shopping as quickly as I could. I wanted to get out and go home, not fuck around with some assholes in the store.

The woman at the checkout line smiled sweetly at me as she packed up my bags and put them into the cart. I paid for them and left, pushing the cart out to my car. I opened the back and piled everything in, trying to make sure not to squish the bread. I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn’t hear anyone walking up behind me.

“Well, look who it is,” Carl said. “It’s Silent Scott, especially now that he doesn’t have a job.”

“Go home, Carl,” I said, closing the door to the car. “You’re fucking drunk.”

“You’re the Uber driver. Take me home,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m off,” I said, pushing the cart into the cart retriever and pulling my keys out of my pocket. “And I don’t give assholes rides in my car.”

“You sure do have a mouth on you now that you’re outside the site.” He chuckled. “What’s wrong? You miss your little whore?”

“Shut your mouth, Carl,” I said. “You’ve done enough damage to her and me.”

“All I know is that now that you are out of the way and aren’t there to be the big protector, I’m next in line for that sweet little pussy,” he said. “She needs to be with a real man.”

“Shut—the fuck—up,” I said, closing my hands into fists.

I was so frustrated with the whole situation. He wouldn’t shut his fucking mouth. He was the entire reason Cassie’s father had found out. He was the whole reason I got fired and that Cassie was so upset. He was the asshole who had taken information that was none of his business and made it public knowledge. Anger boiled up inside me faster and faster, and I wasn’t sure I could hold back this time. Between my dreams collapsing and my love life disappearing into the abyss, I was ready to blow.

“Little Scotty, you look so upset.” He laughed, stumbling forward. “You gonna hit me with those big fists? Maybe you should just imagine that pretty little Cassie sitting in my lap, taking my dick.”

I didn’t know what happened, but everything coming out of his mouth was muffled. I felt like the entire world had slowed down around me, and I could feel myself walking forward with no ability to stop myself. I walked straight up to him, watching his smug smirk get bigger as he laughed loudly. I pulled my fist back, knowing I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself anymore. Life had come to a huge turn in the road, and this asshole had been at the root of the whole thing. As soon as my fist moved forward, everything sped back up and I punched him square in the jaw. He looked at me for a moment in shock before falling to the ground.

I looked down at him in anger, shaking my bloodied fist. That was going to hurt later, but at that moment it felt really good. I shook my head and smirked as he looked up at me.

“I told you not to fuck with me,” I said. “If I even hear that you are whispering Cassie’s name, I’ll come after you. And you don’t want me to come after you.”