Chapter 29

Scott

I felt better. I didn’t know why, but after my talk with Landon, I felt like there was hope for a future with my child and possibly even Cassie. I went to work with a bit of a new lease on life, getting through my work, thinking about the future of my child, and the future that we could all have as a family. When lunchtime came, I couldn’t wait any longer. I picked up my phone and walked off the site to a more private area and called her. I expected to get her voice mail, but to my surprise, she picked up the phone.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hey,” I said, standing up straight. “I didn’t think you would answer.”

“I told you I would communicate with you for the baby, so I am answering,” she said. There was something lighter in her tone.

“How are you feeling?”

“Nauseous, tired, emotional,” she said. “All the things I’m supposed to be feeling, and I am miserable because of it. But all in all, I’m surviving, and that’s a good thing I suppose.”

“I’m sorry you are feeling bad,” I said. “Are you working?”

“I’m trying to get through the internship.” She sighed. “My father said he would sign off on it either way, but I feel obligated to do it. I don’t want to be handed something like that if I didn’t earn it.”

“That’s good, though I think I’d understand if you wanted to rest,” I said.

“Yeah, well, it is what it is.”

“I’m on my lunch break, but I was calling to see what time your appointment is on Friday,” I said. “I’d really like to be there if that is okay with you.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I meant it that you could be at any appointment you wanted.”

“Great,” I said.

“It’s at nine that morning,” she said. “I’ll text you the address so you can meet me there.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No. I’ll be okay,” she said. “Probably better that you don’t. I don’t know what my father’s schedule is. I’ll just meet you there.”

I really wanted to push it, but I knew I shouldn’t. If I was going to work my way back into her life, I would need to let her make the choices. I would always offer, but I needed to respect her answer and not pressure her. Having her be in the car alone with me would be perfect, but I figured there was plenty of time for that. I needed to gain her trust before making any other moves. We had a relationship that went from zero to sixty in five seconds flat, and that obviously didn’t work out too well for us. Maybe slowing things down would help the situation.

“I’ll put in for time off then when I get back to work,” I said. “They’re pretty liberal with that kind of stuff since there is always someone looking for hours, so it shouldn’t be any problem at all.”

“Cool,” she said. “How do you like it over there?”

“It’s been great so far. No drama, just me coming to work, working, and then going home,” I said. “There’s no bullshit with the crew over here, and most of them are pretty seasoned.”

“I wish I could say the same for over here. Still a bunch of idiots with big mouths.”

I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure they will always be like that. It’s ingrained in them from birth by their fathers.”

“I’d like to have a word with their fathers then,” she joked dryly. “Maybe they can teach them how to actually get a job done instead of fucking around all the time on the site. I can’t wait until this whole internship is over with.”

“I feel you,” I said.

There was a pause, a long one, and everything in me wanted to tell her how much I loved and missed her. I wanted her to know what was in my heart, but I knew it would make a decent conversation awkward and uncomfortable. Telling her those things over the phone was not right anyway. She needed to see my face when I said them. Even more than that, she had to know by my actions that I felt that way. Otherwise, the words would be empty. We had definitely had enough words that we regretted over the last couple weeks, and I didn’t want to give either of us the opportunity to make it even worse. It was hard, though, I had to admit, to love someone like that and not be able to tell them. It was almost like torture in a way. But it was for the best, and I needed to stay the course.

“So, I guess I will see you Friday then,” I said. “Maybe you can hook me up to that sonogram machine and see what my liver looks like.”

She laughed. “I don’t think it works that way.”

It was really good to hear her laugh.

“No? You think they’ll let me find out? I’ll let you use the paddles,” I said.

“Oh, lord,” she said. “I’m getting my child training early I see.”

“No.” I sighed. “I will behave.”

“You better.” She chuckled. “I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Okay,” I said. “See you then.”

I sat there with the phone pressed to my ear until I heard her hang up. I smiled and put the phone down, holding it tightly in my hand. I wasn’t sure whether to be pleased with the conversation or disappointed that she wanted to get off the phone. I needed to take the points where they were offered, even if I still felt terrible that I couldn’t take Cassie into my arms or tell her I loved her. As I went to put my phone back in my pocket and head back across the street to the site, it buzzed, and I picked it up quickly, thinking it was Cassie calling back.

“Hello?” I said excitedly.

“Hey, dude,” Landon said.

“Oh, hey,” I replied.

“You need to seriously sound more excited to hear from me.” He laughed. “Especially since I am calling you with news from my life.”

“Oh, boy,” I said. “Which girl punched you this time?”

“None. I actually only have two girls on the books right now, and they are the least of my concerns.”

“All right,” I said. “What’s up? What’s going down?”

“So, I just got into an argument with my boss,” he said. “And I quit my job right there on the spot. I told him to stick it up his ass.”

“Wow,” I said. “That’s intense.”

“I know, right?” He laughed. “It felt so damn good too. I’m going to be reliving that one for a while.”

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“Well, I was thinking I could go out and get another shitty accounting job, be miserable doing taxes and hate my life, or I could make a change,” he said.

“Change can be good,” I replied. “I never understood why you went into accounting anyway.”

“So I didn’t have to hammer nails into boards and work on a construction site.” He laughed. “But it turns out that job seems light years above those pocket-protector-wearing douchebags.”

“You’re on a roll today,” I said. “First you quit, insulting your boss, and then you insult the entire race of your people.”

“Hey, they aren’t my people anymore,” he said. “I am officially in the land of the unemployed.”

“It sucks.”

“Well, let’s change that,” he said. “You ready to make those dreams come true and open up that hardware store? I mean, if the answer is no, that’s cool, but I figure you aren’t set in your ways of building big houses for the rich.”

“Holy shit, man,” I said, stopping in my tracks. “Are you fucking with me? Because if you’re fucking with me, I am not ashamed to knock the fuck out of my best friend. And if I remember correctly, it wouldn’t be the first time I punched you.”

“That was a bitch move when we were thirteen,” he said. “You came up behind me.”

“Still counts,” I said.

“No, I’m not fucking around with you. I’m dead serious,” he said. “I have the money saved up. You have money saved up. Let’s do this thing. We can start small and grow from there, you know? And my credit is decent, so if we need it in the future, we can take a loan out and expand. Seriously, I’m sick and tired of working for someone else. I am ready to take the trek with my best friend and become a business owner.”

“Dude, that is fucking fantastic news,” I said. “Like the best news I’ve gotten all day.”

“Good,” he said. “When do you want to get together and talk about everything?”

“How about tomorrow on our normal Wednesday drink night?” I asked. “I’ll bring the laptop that has the business plan on it, and we can discuss all the dirty details over some brews.”

“That sounds perfect, dude,” he said. “I’m going to take the rest of the day and do absolutely fucking nothing for the first time in years.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to start writing your ideas down though. We can go over all of that tomorrow night.”

“Will do,” he said. “Man, I am stoked for this, for both of us. It’s your dream, but, man, I am ready to be on board and make it happen.”

“I’m excited too, man,” I said, smiling. “I have to get back to the site though and finish out my shift.”

“Just know you won’t have to do that forever,” he said.

“Sounds good, brother,” I said, hanging up the phone.

I smiled big as I turned off the phone and jogged back across the street. I grabbed a cup of coffee and my hard hat and went back to work. The entire time my emotions were all over the place, and I had to admit it was a little confusing. I wasn’t sure what I was allowed to feel and what I wasn’t allowed to feel. Everything had been so nuts lately that this was all overwhelming, to say the least. I didn’t expect Cassie to answer, or sound like she didn’t hate me, and I definitely didn’t expect to get a call from Landon like that. It was crazy how fast everything in my life was changing, especially after spending the last fourteen years in the same old grind day after day.

I was hurt by the whole situation with Cassie, knowing there was a chance I would never have the family I wanted with her. At the same time, I was excited for what my life might become now that I had a business partner to start the hardware store with. It was almost like I felt guilty for celebrating the possible future and reaching my goals. I knew if things were different between Cassie and me, she would be extremely excited for me. I wanted to call her, to share the excitement with her, but it wasn’t the time. I would wait and tell her when I felt like she would be receptive to hearing it. Maybe on Friday when we went to the doctor’s appointment together.

Either way, I needed to focus. Nothing was written in stone yet, but if Landon was for real, I could see my dreams coming to fruition possibly even before the baby was born. Who knew, maybe by the end of it all I would have everything I ever wanted, including Cassie in my arms. Only time would tell.