Chapter 38

Cassie

When I woke up on Thursday morning, I lay there for a moment, staring out the window at the sun starting to come up. I felt a weight in the pit of my stomach and a fluttering in my chest. I crawled out of bed and hopped in the shower, trying to wash away the bad feeling inside me. When I was done, I got out and looked in the mirror, and I noticed that my belly was starting to grow. So far it looked like I’d had a big dinner, but I knew it was coming. I sighed and pulled on my clothes, hearing Scott up and moving around the house. I walked out into the bedroom and grabbed some socks and shoes.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, leaning down to kiss me, but I turned my head.

“Morning,” I said with a wisp of coldness in my tone.

“Do you want me to take you to work today? We have more than enough time,” he said.

“No,” I replied. “I’d rather grab an Uber. You shouldn’t really be near the site. I don’t want any trouble from my father if he happens to be there when I get there.”

“I don’t think there would be any trouble.” He smiled.

“Right.” I scoffed and stood up, buttoning my shirt collar.

He could tell I was being short with him, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood to play nice that morning. I hadn’t been asleep like he’d thought when he got home the night before. I had smelled the liquor on his breath and decided it was best that I stayed pretending. I didn’t want to get into an argument with a drunk guy or hear his excuses. They would have only made me feel even worse. I was tired anyway, having eaten a shit-ton of Chinese and worried myself into an almost full-on anxiety attack. I wasn’t used to living with him. Nor was I aware of any habits he might have that he wasn’t going to break for the baby and me. In reality, I had no idea where he had gone the night before or what he had done while he was there, but it made me upset.

My hormones were wreaking havoc on my brain, and the only thing I could think about was him doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing with a pregnant girlfriend waiting for him at home. I didn’t go through all of this to get stuck with a man who couldn’t let his single-guy tendencies go. And God help him if he was stupid enough to talk to any other women. The town was small, and I would know about it in a heartbeat. I tried to tell myself that he was not that kind of guy, that he had proven he wasn’t that kind of guy, but my chemical imbalance was playing tricks on my normally non-jealous mind.

I came into the relationship with the understanding that he and I had some of the same goals. We didn’t want to live how everyone else did. We didn’t want a generation of construction workers or a generation of spoiled rich children. We wanted to show our child that life could be different, that real love was out there, and that they could be anything he or she wanted to be. The last thing I needed was to have him out all night drinking all the time when the baby was born. If I wanted to do this myself, I wouldn’t have fought myself so hard to accept Scott back into my life.

I moved around the house, gathering my things and waiting for the coffee to be ready. I tried to stay out of Scott’s reach, as physical affection was not what I wanted that morning. He walked over and stood next to me, our hands almost touching. I looked down and moved my hand, turning and walking away. He watched me walk through the living room and sit down for a moment to tie my shoes.

“Cassie,” he said, “I’m taking the bait.”

“What?” I said, not even looking up at him.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked. “You are obviously upset. You are not even looking at me, and you are incredibly distant. What is going on?”

“Nothing,” I said, not wanting to fight with him. “I’m just tired.”

“Right,” he said, walking over and standing in front of me so that I couldn’t go anywhere. “I know we haven’t known each other for decades, but I know when there is something wrong with you. I know when that little brain is running overtime and you are holding back from me. We are in a relationship now, Cassie. That means we talk to each other when things are wrong. We will never survive a lifetime together if we can’t talk to each other about what is going through our heads.”

I stayed quiet, staring at his shirt. He reached forward and lifted my chin, looking deep into my eyes. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to sound like I was crazy.

“Come on,” he said. “Let it out.”

“I wasn’t asleep when you got home last night,” I said. “I could smell the liquor on your breath. You were out all night drinking, which I understand is a normal Wednesday thing for you and Landon, but you told me a few days ago that you weren’t going out this week because he was out of town. I don’t want a man who is going to be out all the time drinking at bars and coming home smelling like a bottle of whiskey. I can’t deal with that when the baby gets here. It wouldn’t be fair to our child or to me. So if that is something you can’t handle, then you need to tell me now. I won’t spend my life like that, and I thought that was how you felt about it too.”

He chuckled. “You are so adorable when you get on a tirade like this. Seriously, that fire is something I love most about you.”

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t going to stand there and be placated like a child. He let out a deep breath and smiled at me.

“You’re right. I was at the bar last night, but the reason for it was supposed to be a surprise,” he said.

“As you can see, I am not in the mood for surprises,” I said. “If you weren’t there with Landon, and you don’t really have any other friends, who were you there with?”

“Your father,” he said with a smirk. “I was at Ely’s with your father having shots of Jameson and beers.”

“Bullshit,” I said. “Do you think I am a complete idiot or a partial one?”

“I am dead serious,” he said. “I was at the bar with your father. He drank whiskey neat and stared up at the muted television the whole time.”

“Where did you say you were?” I asked.

“Ely’s,” he replied. “It’s a restaurant and bar on—”

“I know where it is,” I snapped. “My father and mother used to go there for their anniversary every year.”

“If you don’t believe me, then call your father.” I smiled. “He will tell you that I was there with him, then left and came straight home to you.”

“No. I’m not calling my father to settle some argument between us,” I said. “Besides, why in the world would my father meet you at a bar? He can barely stand to look at you in his own home. Now you two are best friends?”

“Just call him,” Scott said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. “I have to go, and your Uber is waiting out front. I’ll see you after work.”

I groaned, walked over and grabbed my bag and wallet, and headed out to the car. Scott was amused by the whole situation, which made me think maybe he was telling the truth. I pulled out my phone but shook my head and shoved it back in my bag. My father would be preparing for meetings, and I knew he wasn’t going to want to talk to me about this right before going into discussions with the board. So, I went to work and made it through the morning. On my lunch break, I pulled my phone out, ready to finally talk to him, but before I could dial the number, he pulled into the site. He got out of the truck and looked over at me, pulling a bag from the car. I stood up, my nerves twitching as he walked over to me.

“I brought you something,” he said, pulling a Tupperware container out. “It should still be hot. I made it this morning before leaving for work and warmed it up before coming over.”

“What is it?” I asked, taking the container from him.

“It’s chicken noodle soup, one of the few things I know how to make,” he said. “Your mother always liked to eat it when she was pregnant with you, at least in the beginning because it calmed her stomach and kept her warm. She was constantly cold when she had you in her belly.”

“Thank you,” I said, walking over to the picnic table and sitting down with him.

“Scott came to see me last night at the bar,” he said. “And he made a lot of sense about a lot of things that I didn’t want to admit. I have made quite a few mistakes, Cassie, and I’m sorry for that. Scott is right. You are an adult, and you are incredibly intelligent. You are capable of running your own life. I was just too afraid to let go. I feel like I lost your mother years ago, and I didn’t want to lose you too.”

“You’ll never lose me, Daddy,” I said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he said. “And I will be keeping an eye on Scott. I want to make sure he is a good father and a good partner to you.”

I laughed. “I would expect nothing less from you.”

“What I won’t do anymore, however, is attempt to keep you and Scott apart,” he said. “I can tell he loves you more than anything in this life, and I can tell you feel the same way. I don’t want to be the person who stands in the way of your happiness or your future family. I want to be a part of my grandchild’s life. That is extremely important to me.”

“Of course,” I said, tears pulling at my eyes. “Of course, Daddy. I can’t imagine a better person to be in my baby’s life. I never wanted to push you away or see you angry and hurt. I didn’t know how to get through to you anymore, to make you see that I was an adult and I was going to make my own choices. You have been an amazing parent to me my whole life, and I have never wanted or needed anything. Now, though, it’s my time to take the reins of my own life.”

“I get it,” he said and smiled. “But always know that you will never be too old to be my baby girl. I am always here for you, and if you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you,” I said, wrapping my arms around him.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he whispered. “You picked a good man.”

I smiled, knowing he was completely right about that.