Chapter 38

Animal

I told Ember to stay put and opened my driver’s side door. I met Merck with a big bear hug. He aged well. Just looked a smidge wrinkled, hair a little thinner—but he was a good-looking guy still. We greeted each other and caught up quickly. I walked around the Hummer with him so we were standing on the sidewalk. I glanced around and saw T. She was waiting until I beckoned for her, seamlessly slipping into the look out task, keeping watch over me.

I could make out Ember’s silhouette in the dark, tinted windows of the Hummer.

Merck seemed to be following my gaze. “You’re lucky you’ve got a cop on your side, because that tint is illegal, young man.”

He was joking with me, the laughter coming easy. I wondered if Merck knew Ember was living with me. How much did he keep track of the little girl he was pretty sure was his?

I stepped to the side to block his view. “What’ve you been up to? I haven’t seen you around?”

“Took Kinsey to see her family out west.” His eyes took on the dull glaze that they usually did when he spoke of his wife. I believed in loyalty, but Merck’s devotion to his loveless marriage was something I couldn’t understand.

He might not know that Ember had left Dorothy’s. Or maybe he assumed she was in college.

“Um. Hey, just a heads- up…”

The door behind me snapped ajar. I watched as Merck’s jaw fell open. Nix had mentioned that Ember looked so much like his mom it was eerie at times. I heard him whisper Elise’s name.

Ember slipped under my arm and kissed my cheek. “As much as I like being your prisoner, I have people to meet.”

I didn’t look at Ember but watched as Merck registered it all. That Ember was in my Hummer. That she was here. I saw confusion at the familiarity Ember and I had. I pulled her against my side when she went to move away.

It was time they met. “Ember, meet Merck. He’s family to me.”

I watched in my peripheral as Ember turned her face to his and put her attention on him. Pain and ache flashed in his eyes.

“Hey, Mr. Merck. Any friend of Animal’s is a friend of mine. It’s nice to meet you.” She held out her hand for a shake.

Merck looked from her face to mine, and then down at her hand like it was a snake. Ember looked from me to Merck as her hand hung there awkwardly.

I was just about to smooth the moment over with a joke, when Merck held out his hand and gently took hers in his.

I watched him swallow. He swayed a bit on his feet. T was behind him, just off to the side, as if she was waiting for a bus. But she knew what was going down. She’d put it all together.

He said nothing. Ember giggled, pumping his hand once. “Okay. Catch you around.”

She slid between Merck and me and turned her back to him while she gave me a what the hell stare.

T watched as I nodded in Ember’s direction. That was all I had to do. T would stay on Ember until I told her otherwise.

I stepped next to Merck and put my arm around his shoulder. “Hey, let’s get in my vehicle.”

He nodded at me, his face completely conflicted. I opened my passenger door and he got in.

After I was settled next to him, I let him process for a bit. We could see Ember at the table with her friends from where we were parked. She was animated and laughing.

Finally he spoke, “She looks just like her. Just like her.”

“That’s what Nix says, too.” I folded my hands on the steering wheel. I’d stay with him until he was ready to move.

We sat in silence for a while as Merck indulged in watching her. The tinted windows gave him that freedom.

“All this time, I mean, you must have seen her?”

Vivacious. Ember lit the whole shop up. People turned their bodies toward her, like flowers to the sun.

T sat at a table a few down from the crew, watchful. It gave me peace to know she was on it. I could focus on Merck.

“I had to stop. When she was a kid, it hurt so much. And I was having a real problem not fighting for her. Getting involved.” He rubbed his chin.

It wasn’t for me to judge. He had to get by in whatever way made sense to him.

“I mean, what if I got involved and she wasn’t mine? I just…shit, I’ve made mistakes. Maybe.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“That girl would love a father.”

I saw the future. This headstrong young lady getting to know the man next to me, who was harder on himself than he needed to be. He was a good man and put his neck on the line for me many times.

He looked at me like I’d said something shocking. “It’s too late. She’s grown.”

I shrugged. I wasn’t interested in telling him how to live his life. But this girl, Nix’s sister, she was getting under my skin. Despite her big personality and confidence, I knew that she felt a touch lost. It made sense. She lived with an aunt. One that didn’t seem to mother her up too much. She wasn’t allowed to know her brother. Had no idea who her father was. Or if it was Nix’s nightmare, deceased dad.

“It’s never too late to love someone.” I fiddled with my sunglasses.

We were quiet for another fifteen minutes before he spoke again, “How’s her brother?”

“Nix is good. In love. Happy. It’s nice.”

I saw a smile inch up on his face. “That’s nice. Kid deserves happy things. His mother wanted him to have good things.”

“You know, you have an in with me. Whenever you want. I know you’ve always wanted a kid.”

Merck’s eyebrows drew together. “I have you.”

I felt my heart kick-start. “Yeah, of course. But you could have her, too. She’d be lucky to know you. She’s dropped out of school. I’m trying to force her back into it. Just a little guidance, you know?”

“I’ve been scared for so long—to screw up, maybe I can’t imagine making it right.” Merck rubbed his hands on his dad jeans.

“Come on now. You’re a hero. You’ve protected this city for years and years. She’d be proud to know you. You want me to steal some hair from her brush? She’s living with Nix and me.” I kind of regretted offering that because that felt like a betrayal of Ember.

He shook his head. “I always believed she was mine. I wouldn’t need proof. I mean, if she wanted it, of course.”

He was starting to think about it. And that was good.

“You want to come to dinner? Tell her in a safe space?” I snuck a peek at him and watched his familiar face go through a kaleidoscope of emotions.

I knew he thought about Kinsey, who was still with us despite all of the health issues she faced.

“I could come to dinner?” He was testing the thought out. I didn’t want to seem too anxious.

I wanted Merck to have a win. And Ember was headstrong, but an open soul. I had suspicions that a reveal of information and identity would go well.

“Where’s her aunt?” Merck was picturing all the different outcomes now, like a cop would.

“She’s still at her house, pissed. She wants Ember to get married. She’s mad that Ember’s living with us.” I put my sunglasses in the cup holder.

I watched as he weighed Aunt Dorothy’s concerns while tilting his head back and forth.

I spared him from having to pass judgment. “We recognize it’s not ideal. I’ve got T on her as security.”

Merck snapped his head around. “T? The T? Your T?”

Then I was full-on grinning. “Yeah. She’s back. We’re cool. She’s…talented.” I tried to remember that Merck was the other side of the law.

I pointed her out to Merck.

“Well, I’ll be damned. That’s wonderful news. I always liked T. Glad she’s back.” Merck grabbed my shoulder and squeezed.

“Yeah, it’s great.” I didn’t bring up that I smashed her heart to smithereens on the regular like a fucking asshole. “How about Sunday? For dinner?”

“I think I can manage that. I’ll have Kinsey’s sister come sit with her.” He looked terrified.

“Send me a text how you want it to go down. Do you want Nix and me to tell her, and then you show up—you want to be the one to tell her? Think on it. Don’t decide now.”

Merck inhaled and exhaled slowly.

“You really think this is a good move?” The old man put his hand on the door latch.

“I think it’s going to be hard on you, because this is always hard on you, but I really believe it’s best for Ember.” And that was the truth. It was clear that Elise was the love of his life. The poorly timed love of his life.

“Okay, I’m there. For dinner, this Sunday.”

I could virtually hear his nerves revving up, but it was good. This was good.

“It’s a plan.” I nodded as Merck exited the Hummer.

I’d put this in motion before checking with Nix, but it was a gut instinct. Hopefully, it was the right one.

I met T’s gaze. Even through the tinted windows she found me. I watched as she banged out a text and then looked at me again.

T: You cool?

I nodded and waved. I had to manage three more meetings before I got home. One loan shark was coming in early, wanting his payments too soon. Another pawnshop had been selling off stolen stuff from a recent rash of burglaries in a retirement community, and the last was a pimp who was beating one of the girls.

By the time I got home, T and Ember were there already. The loan shark now had a brand new broken femur and a newly rejuvenated sense of loyalty to me. The pawnshop owner sent me selfies in front of all the different addresses that Nix had hacked from the police report, returning the property that he still had in the store or cash taped to the inside of the mailboxes of the stuff he didn’t have. And the pimp was currently trying his hand at being a mermaid. It wasn’t going well when I left.

My reputation was carefully maintained. I wanted people to trust me and fear me in equal measure. So far, I was doing pretty goddamn well.