Chapter 62

Animal

She was with Merck and he looked pleased as hell. That was T. Silently making things better before people even knew stuff was amiss. Her watchfulness was superior. That I could love her more today than I did yesterday seemed impossible but true.

Nix was thrilled for me. Apparently, he and Becca had been rooting for T and me since he’d came back from the Feybis.

I was still dealing with some guilt for the lifestyle she’d watched me participate in. I knew she understood more than anyone. But still, I’d make it all up to her. For the rest of our lives. She’d know that she was never second best or always enough. With her, I was unafraid.

I’d set the wedding venue up in advance. It wasn’t an Elvis or craziness theme. It was a pretty chapel, and it’d be covered in lavender, T’s favorite flower.

It’d been amazing to watch her excitement. Beyond that, she was bashful about being the center of attention. I loved that part, too. Seeing her glow with the sudden awareness that we were all here for her. It was my wedding day, too, but it wasn’t really. This was T’s moment to shine.

We’d need to get our papers in order first, then the whole group would separate by gender until we met up later. We were getting dressed up. I had my suit and so did my boys. After T and I had our certificate, I kissed her deeply. Becca, Ember, and Wardon were going to a hotel to prepare. Wardon was the hired gun, so he was an honorary girl, and we razzed him about it. I had a few extra security measures in place, just so T could see them and take the damn day off in her head.

I wanted her drinking and laughing and dancing with me without the burden of trying to make sure we were safe. Just joy. That’s what today needed.

When we parted, I got Nix and Merck to huddle up with me. I’d done something I wasn’t sure about and wanted their opinion.

We all sat at a table. Getting food became a priority. Traveling had stirred the beast in all of us. I noticed how little attention was paid to Nix and his unusual tattoos. Vegas was ready for different, so it seemed. I liked it and wondered if Nix felt it.

When we’d ordered, I laid it on them. “I did something, and I’m not sure if it’s a great idea.”

Nix twirled a napkin in his fingers. “Shoot, brother.”

“So, you both know that T’s mom isn’t, well… She has issues that are unique.” I was second-guessing my impulses. I thought back to how I’d kept Merck’s identity from Ember and how poorly that had gone. “I set up a way to live feed the wedding to her mom.”

Merck’s face showed genuine surprise. “Oh.”

Nix nodded. “I see why you’re stressing. T hasn’t spent time with her mom in how long?”

“It’s been years. I’ve been working with a psychologist and a doctor. This isn’t a split-second decision. I mean, I wanted to work her mom into T’s life. There have been advances made. We have the means to keep her in comfort. I just hope. I mean, I don’t think I know better than T. And I can flip this. Only the doctors know. T’s mom has no idea. No one would be the wiser.” I tossed up my hands.

Merck offered his opinion, “It’s a beautiful impulse, and I see why you’re torn up about it. That might be a hell of a surprise. Maybe give her the choice.”

I waited while our food was delivered. I really wasn’t sure if I’d made the right decision. I mean, getting T’s mom more help and qualified, dedicated mental health specialists could be done without contact between T and Anastasia.

But I wanted T to have her mom. I wanted her to have all the people she loved able to see her when I made her my wife. Merck had a point. It was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but I didn’t want to have the concern to hang over this day.

A wedding gift of increased help for her mom could be enough. It didn’t have to be a video broadcast.

I lightened the mood once we were fed, and I texted T that I wanted to tell her about a few of my husband plans before we said our vows.

She agreed to meet me in the hallway in her hotel. I hightailed it over there while Nix and Merck made sure our suits looked decent.

I knocked gently on her hotel room door with my knuckle. T answered the door with rollers in her hair and a satin robe tied tightly around her.

“Wife.” I pulled her into the hallway and closed the door between us and her giggling friends. I ran a hand across her flat stomach. She swayed closer to me with a moan.

“Someday I’m filling this spot right here with little baby Animals and Ts,” I growled and nuzzled her cheek. She smelled like conditioner and a touch of perfume. I was hard thinking that her preparation was for me. Her eyes sparkled.

“Why are you breaking the rules? You should be getting into your fancy best.” T put her arms around me.

“I realized that I had to tell you something I’d planned for you. I hope it wasn’t a mistake, like it was when we sheltered Ember. I didn’t want to surprise you at the ceremony.” I tilted her chin up so I could look into her dark, coffee-colored eyes.

“You’re starting to scare me. What’s up? I’ve already had a glass of champagne, so don’t make me think too much.”

I could tell—now that she’d said it. She had a relaxed posture. Shit. My dream was her enjoying this.

“Tell me.” She made her eyes wide.

“I’ve been working with your mom’s doctors. Just making sure that she has the best and stuff.” I looked at her to gauge her response.

She smiled, albeit sadly. “That’s nice of you.”

“It’s not that you didn’t already have it set up, beautiful. I just wanted it to be over the top. She loves the house and the friends she has there, but…” I took a deep breath. “I wanted there to be a way for her to participate today, if you wanted it. So I have her therapist and her doctor in on a possible live feed, if you want your mom to see what’s going on.” I rushed in with the rest of the words, wanting her to know everything before I heard my fate.

T patted my cheek as she sighed. “You’re thoughtful. And sweet. And I know that you’ve been in touch with the doctors, because they told me. So your big secret is less so.”

“Okay.” I had to give her props for that.

“I didn’t know about the live feed, though.” Instead of pulling away, she hugged me closer. “I want her here so bad. Every day. She’d love it so much. To see me in a gown.”

And then I knew it wasn’t going to happen, but I listened anyway.

“When I was a kid, I would pretend to be a bride with a toilet paper veil and bouquet of fake flowers. And my mom? When she was happy? She would sing the wedding march and set up any stuffed animals I had as an audience.” I watched as T’s eyes filled with moisture. “She’s really loving, you know? If she could, she’d be the best mom ever.”

I kissed T’s nose and her chin and then her mouth. I gave her the start of the next sentence. “But…”

“But I can’t do it to her. She’s been even for years now. On her meds. She thinks I’m still in another country, so the temptation to reach out to me is far less. They distract her. She’s been painting and gardening. She’s happy.” So much pain in T’s voice.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to make you sad. I just…”

She covered my mouth with her hand.

“No. That you’ve been working on this? That you remembered her? That you hope for her and me? It means the world. And I know when I miss her, I can do it with you.”

She was so strong. Did she know? That she could forgo herself the comfort of a parent for her entire life so that her mom would be okay? Have a good day?

“Your selflessness astounds me. My God, I love you so much.” I hugged her hard.

She snuggled herself under my chin. “From the man that’s spent his life taking care of others.”

Becca opened the door after knocking on it from the inside. “Hey! Put a little space between you! You all can get biblical in a few hours. T has an appointment in here, and it doesn’t include you.” She wagged her finger at me.

T and I kissed one more time. On my way out of the hotel, I ran my hand over my mouth slowly.

She was one hell of a woman, and I was proud of myself for locking her down.