Chapter 21

Animal

My boy Nix started on his tats long before it was legal. I understood what he did, even though every new bone etched onto his skin singled him out as different. And when he took it to his face, I watched as my boyhood friend slowly buried himself.

He’d rather look like a skeleton than resemble his father. And I couldn’t blame him.

It was extreme, but he was extreme. He’d started working for various crime bosses, getting somehow deeper and further away from reality every year. And richer. Blood money was what he called it. He used it for trappings like a house—but all he cared about was Basement Girl.

Basement Girl was my nickname for Rebecca, the little girl he’d watched all these years. She went by Becca now. Nix, through sheer stubbornness, found all different ways to stalk her. For her own good was what I understood, though I wasn’t sure anyone else would see it that way.

I got my business degree. Merck helped me figure out scholarships and grants, so I was able to give two monumental middle fingers to my biological parents who hadn’t thought I was worth the cost of a diaper.

I was worth far more. It turned out that I was good at theater as well. I got a minor in theater arts. It helped me magnify this personality that made me bigger than life—to those who didn’t know me anyway.

While Nix’s obsession grew, his sister did as well. He still had no relationship with her, believing everyone was better without him.

I started out looking for Nix’s father for him. I hated to see him waiting for what he felt was an inevitable return. Nix was scared for Becca, too, as his asshole father had a penchant for vendettas.

When I was out, I looked for T as well. I wanted to make sure she was okay. I wanted to find out why she returned to town and refused to see me.

Was she still doing it?

Maybe I was as obsessive as my friend. I just didn’t wear it on my skin. My family was small, just Nix, T, and Merck, but they mattered. I counted Ember as well, because although she didn’t know it, she was a sister to me.

I learned to make money like Nix. He was more high-tech and bloody; I was more personable and about cashing in favors. I went by the street name of Havoc, but it was no secret who I was. My name was semi-famous before I was even a major player in the scene. Merck used to say havoc followed me like a puppy, so it was my way of letting him name me like a father would. I was pretty sure that it was not a gesture he appreciated. He’d preferred that I took my education and ran the entire world. And I loved him for that. And although I believed he was right, I needed to protect Nix when he was vulnerable. I was the only family that would be able to watch his back. I even explained as much to Merck, and I saw an understanding there. A gratefulness.

I became a ladies’ man. Maybe I always was, but it was an act I could play with little to no effort. The game was easy. I learned to ask a few pointed questions, watch for cues, and when it was time to actually throw down? I knew my way around a clitoris.

When Becca’s bar had a Day of the Dead themed event, with full makeup encouraged, I pressured my boy to go in and meet her face-to-face.

I’d been to the bar she worked at with her sexy friend Henry—female, despite the decidedly male name—and I liked her. More than that, I could read Becca. She had a soft spot for the bar drunk. For the awkward guy or girl dragged out for a night with their more socially forward friends.

She picked up jackets off the floor so they wouldn’t get stomped on. Just the little shit. I had a hunch she was special enough for my man.

And I was right, which I liked because it was a good habit to be in.

Nix’s father decided to come to town and start creeping right as Nix took these first baby steps, so I had to help him. Nix was dealing with Bat Feybi, a shifty old bastard. We needed a hooker to pass a note to the boss and meet him in an alternate location.

After arriving on our bikes, I saw her.

She was coming out of the mist of my memories when I watched her step from behind two hookers.

T.

My T. From when I was a kid. From when I was just a pup.

Our last meeting was still something I thought about years later. She was acting like she didn’t know who I was. I had my motorcycle helmet on so I doubt she could see the hurt I knew was registered in my eyes.

Of all the people to leave me, I never thought it’d be her. We’d been family. She knew more about me than even my man on the bike next to me. He was covered in ink that made him into a monster, but it didn’t hide his good intentions like he thought it did.

The hookers were trying to get the job, clearly thinking it was about sex.

It wasn’t. T read the scene and treated Nix and me like this was fine. Like she didn’t know me. Maybe she didn’t. I was still tall, still very much who she should remember, but I’d filled out in a way that made me far more intimidating. Had she seen me from a distance and I’d missed her?

My soul would always know hers. Apparently, it was a one-way setup, if she could really act like she didn’t know me.

I told Nix that we were picking T. She refused to talk. I wondered about that. The selective mute thing I taught her so many years ago?

Maybe.

She slid on the back of my bike. I handed her the helmet and she put it on. I tapped the Bluetooth communicator between the helmets I had on my bike. I made sure Nix was on a different channel.

“Still a selective mute, I see.” I was angry. I was also shocked. Not my best opening line.

Her response was quiet, but luckily the receiver was loud enough for me to catch it. “When life requires it.”

She wasn’t hanging on to me. I glanced at my hip. Her hands were on her legs. That would change as we sped up.

“I’ve been looking for you for years.” I heard the grit in my voice that time. I took a turn hard and felt her touch lightly on my middle.

Silence.

“I heard you’ve been back in town. You could’ve left me a note or something. I thought we had each other, T.” It was wildly unsettling to have this meeting on my bike, but it was coming out of my mouth whether I wanted it to or not.

“So did I.” The hurt in her voice made me blink a few times. As far as I knew, she stayed away from me. I had no part in it.

“When was I ever not there for you? Honestly. Tell me.” I turned my head, but was not satisfied with a glimpse of her.

Silence again.

I shook my head with the lack of a reply so she knew I thought I deserved a response.

“Why’d you come back now? At least give me that?” I took one hand off of my handlebar to shake it out.

“I needed to see you.” She took her hands off my middle.

I wanted to tell her I needed to see her for the years in between when she left and now.

“Were you okay? All that time?” I followed Nix down another road.

“I lived.”

Nix stopped and I followed suit. T got off the back of my motorcycle, like being that close to me was a problem.

She listened to the directions one more time, handed me my helmet, and disappeared down the path. I was so shocked by her sudden return into my life I finally realized that we’d sent her marching into a possible ambush.

Nix was off and driving to the next spot. We’d hired T to be a messenger girl. I hesitated. She’d been alone all this time when she could have been with me. I always planned for her and me to live together as soon as we could. The two of us could have faced this angry world at eighteen together. I followed Nix.

That’s why I was mad, mostly. I think. The loss of her scared me. And I was shit at being scared. When she left, I never got to put down this wall I built. I had a persona to keep up. Unless I was with her. We’d been havens for each other.

I followed through on the plan and was a lookout for Nix. I alerted him when his meeting with Feybi went too long. Nix was intense about this guy. He was taking everything about this job personally.

All of a sudden we heard gunshots in the distance.

I knew it was T. Just like I knew it was her between the cars under the toll bridge when we were kids.

My stomach was a ball of nerves. I’d fucking let her go into those woods because I was pissed. Because I couldn’t process a change this big that quickly. I scanned the path we sent her down and she was already headed at me, head down, arms pumping. She was either great at hiding injuries or she was completely fine. I slowed my bike and held out my arm. She latched on and swung her leg over the seat. I gunned it once she was holding on tightly. Nix followed us, making sure there weren’t any tails.

T threw her gun over the bridge into the water and then put her helmet on.

I was going to take the long way to keep us safe from Feybi’s men who were most likely following us.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I got clean shots off.”

She had her arms wrapped around my waist hard. I was guessing her adrenaline was still coursing through her.

“You still good at shooting?” It was out of my mouth before I remembered we had all this tense shit between us.

Her responding laughter was a home I hadn’t visited in far too long.

Her happiness trickled through my ear and down my spine like medicine that healed me. I started laughing as well.

She hugged me harder. On purpose. As a welcome.

I put my hand over hers. We didn’t have skin-to-skin contact, but it was the best I could do to hug her back.

“I got way better at shooting than the night they tried to kill you. I missed you, Animal.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, I blinked them away.

To be missed.

It was all the Hallmark cards and Christmas songs talked about.

We were nearing the drop-off point where the hookers were. I knew my T wasn’t a hooker because of the things that happened to her so long ago. Before she could take off her helmet, I let her know.

“You’re still my family, T. I’ll be back in a few hours. I hope we can talk.” She got off the bike and nodded, then took off the helmet.

She turned from Nix and me and gave us the middle finger as she walked away.

My brother would never know that T and I were previously acquainted. I didn’t like keeping things from him, but T’s story was hers to tell. I wouldn’t out her unless she wanted me to.

Nix and I headed back to his house. His place where I had a room. I hoped that T would stay in town. I wanted to get her alone and find out what the hell had gone on. She seemed to still feel at least a little something for me.