Chapter 15

Animal

Waking up in a hospital was confusing as shit. The monitors. The smell. Knowing somehow that time had passed, but not how much. I was tethered to the bed by an IV and lots of wires and something below my waist that I didn’t want to think about.

Merck was sleeping in a chair near the bed. I cleared my throat and tried to cough. Everything felt like I’d been through a meat grinder.

Merck’s eyes popped open. He looked at me hard and I tried to wave at him. Only my fingers would move.

He stood and ran out of the room so fast I thought there had to be something dangerous going on.

The nurse who ran back into the room with Merck had a much better bedside manner than he had, giving me information and welcoming me back to consciousness.

“Hey, guy! Great to see you awake. Just lie still for me. I know it feels like you’re a science experiment right now. I’m going to just get your vitals and we can do a pain assessment. You hurting?” She checked the machines while talking to me and timing my pulse.

“Yeah.” Gruff, grumbly voice.

Merck was on the other side of me with just his fingertips on my forearm. He’d usually pat me on the shoulder or whatever, but it was on fire right now. And he must have known that.

I turned my head to him. “T?”

Merck tilted his head to the side. “She’s safe. I’ll tell you everything, but first—you.” He pointed at the nurse and watched her intently.

She made me answer some questions and poked and prodded me. A doctor arrived, and he was fine, but I got the sense that the nurse knew more than he did about what was going on with me.

The nurse gently recommended a different course of painkillers because I’d had some sort of adverse reaction to the ones the doctor tried on me first.

Merck rolled his eyes at the nurse when the doctor turned around. She gave him a half-smile.

True to her word, the nurse told me I had a severe concussion, a cracked rib, a sprained ankle, and a dislocated shoulder. That reminded me of T again.

When all of a sudden I started to feel lighter and lighter, I knew whatever painkillers they had settled on were kicking in. Grateful was my overwhelming sensation. When the nurse was gone, I forced myself to stay awake.

“T’s okay. She had kind of a reaction to seeing you getting hurt. She killed three of the guys beating you up. Smiley lived. He’s a few floors below us right now. And T’s here, too. She’s not hurt, though. But…” Merck scratched his chin and looked reluctant to tell me. “She’s in the psych ward. She’s been growling and fighting people, but she’s safe.”

I nodded. I knew I would be more concerned soon. But I started floating away. The pain was dulling, and I was incredibly tired. “Protect.” Was all I was able to utter.

“I’m watching her. Don’t worry, son. I love you. Go back to sleep. I got you. And her.”

And I listened to him.

Animal

Healing was a lot about resting, so it seemed. And it also seemed like the pain got worse before it got better. It turned out I freaking hated painkillers. The Percocet gave me headaches. The Vicodin made me nauseous. I was aching. The physical therapist was a monster. How she made things better, I wasn’t sure, but soon enough I could pee on my own. When I managed that, I came out of the bathroom and looked at Merck.

“I know. T. Let me go figure things out. There’s rules there and stuff.” He pointed at my hospital gown. “You might want to figure out what you’re going to do about that.”

While he was gone, I sweet-talked a pretty nurse into letting me have a wheelchair and a few blankets so I could be in the hallways and also considered decent.

Merck came back shaking his head. “You’re lucky that the nurse in charge up there has about four million parking tickets. Let’s roll.”

I wanted to give a fist pump, but moving anything pretty much hurt everything.

We had to motor through the hallways and the elevator to get to T’s floor. I felt underdressed despite my blanket. My bathroom didn’t have a mirror, and I couldn’t find a reflective surface to see if my face was going to scare her.

I tried to protect it during the beatdown. Because I’m pretty.

We had to be admitted through two sets of doors to get into the psychological center.

The nurse in charge told us that T was in the rec area. I was expecting screaming. Maybe some naked people streaking around. The reality was a quiet difference.

There were only about nine other patients in the rec room. A TV was playing a dramatic daytime show. I spotted T at the table. A puzzle in front of her. But her eyes were on me.

Her gaze was shiny and seemed unfocused. It made sense. I bet here she was on the meds she didn’t like again.

Merck said hello to T and pulled a chair away so I could be pushed in next to her. Then he left us and started talking to the nurse who was watching over the patients.

I looked at the puzzle. Some sort of hairy tiger was the picture, but not all of the pieces that were jammed together were supposed to be that way.

“You doing that so they don’t catch on to you?” I mumbled.

Then I touched one of the ill-fitting pieces.

I watched as a smile inched onto her lips. Just a hint. And then I knew my T was in here.

She had a soft T-shirt on and baggy sweatpants. Canvas sneakers without laces.

“I can’t wear a bra because they think I’ll hang myself with it.” T slipped her index finger under her hospital bracelet.

I glanced around. I knew her gig was selective mute. And she was talking. But I guess that was where the selective part came into play.

“You okay?” She stopped fiddling with her bracelet and ran her index finger over mine.

“I’m going to be fine. It just hurts. Thanks, though. For saving me. I was going out, I think.” I had to stop to clear my throat.

“Animal Winters.” She read my name from the bracelet. Her medical fog seemed to lift a bit. “I’d do it again in a minute. Twice a day every day to keep you safe.”

“I know.” And I did. I knew she would be true to me no matter what. It was the realest thing that had ever been spoken to me. I looked at her finger. The nail had black polish on it. Where were you headed that night?”

“To you.” She shrugged.

“That’s where I was headed, too.”

She clamped her lips together. A glance over my shoulder let me know we were being watched.

Merck and I were going to have a conversation about what kind of trouble T was in because of the shootings. She was a juvenile, so I was hoping that would keep her safe.

My wheelchair was pulled back and T’s finger slipped out from under my hospital band.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. Okay?”

She didn’t respond, but she lifted her gaze to mine.

Her chocolate eyes were desperate. She was locked in here, and hated it. I tried to tell her without saying it out loud that I’d get her out of here. As soon as I could carry my own weight, I was busting her out. I didn’t think she understood. That fog was creeping back in.

Merck took me back to my room, and after another exhausting piss, I collapsed in my bed. The conversation I wanted to have about the legal consequences T was facing was on pause until I could remain conscious enough to actually have it.

T

I took the drugs because they had ways of checking to see if I swallowed them. Being closed in was the worst part. No window or open door. He was okay—and that was the reason any of this was going to be fine.

At night I vibrated with the need to leave. Tears ran down my cheeks.

But I saved him.

And I would do it all again.

And I would stay here forever.

If I had to.

To save Animal.