Chapter 33

Animal

Albany didn’t know about my rule. Girls didn’t get to wake up in my room. I reminded her.

Usually, I took pleasure from giving pleasure. I thought of it as a master’s class in their own sexuality. That I was setting the bar for how much they should reach for their own orgasms.

But this was different. It was more of a hate fuck. I didn’t feel good about it. It wouldn’t happen again.

Albany was holding her high heels and her new phone. I’d called her an Uber and her hair was a wreck.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw T pad into the kitchen in her pajamas, not turning on the lights.

Shit.

I didn’t want her to know about this. I knew we weren’t together, but I didn’t want to hurt her either.

I showed Albany the door. She tried to kiss me. I turned my head so that she got my cheek instead.

I didn’t kiss. Not when I was doing this. Not when it was a festival of sin in my room. When I closed the front door, I took off running because I knew T would bolt. I cut her off in the hallway, stretching my arms open so she couldn’t go past me.

T spun on her bare heels to avoid running into my chest. “Dammit.”

“Whatcha doin’ up, princess?”

She wasn’t the kind to back down, so she faced me and folded her arms in front of her chest. She had soft pj pants and a tank top on. Her hair was swung over one eye.

“Don’t call me that.” She pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose.

“I call you that all the time.” I dropped my arms, point made-- we were having this conversation.

“Not when you smell like her.” She didn’t look in my eyes, but leveled her stare at my mouth.

Not ten minutes earlier Albany had been sitting on it while she sucked my dick. I took a step backwards.

I probably did smell like sex.

I heard T professing her love for me in my mind all over again. “I’m sorry.”

The bravado was dropped. The chip was off my shoulder. My walls down. Young Animal was talking to young T all over again.

Her hard demeanor softened. “I know you are.”

I grasped at straws. “How about I set you up on a date? I know a couple of great guys.”

She blinked three times in a row, offended. “I don’t need dates. I turn them down all the time.”

My intentions were coming out all wrong. “I just want to see you happy.”

After massaging her temples, she addressed the elephant in the room. “This is as happy as I get.”

She laid it down between us. She loved once. And I was that once. So she only allowed herself to feel what I gave her. Which was friendship. God, more than friendship. Family.

My T.

“You’re better than what I do to the women up there. You’re 110% better than that.” I pointed in the direction of my bedroom.

After snorting, she rolled her eyes. “You’ll never get it. Your dick could fall off.”T advanced on me, pointing at my crotch. “I don’t feel the way I do because of this.” She flicked me on my bare chest, right above my heart. “It’s for this.” She looked up at me then. Young in the dim light thrown from the kitchen. “Can I go?”

“Of course.” I pressed against the wall and let her by. I watched her walk down the hall and then up the stairs, two at a time.

I was another person for her. She told me a long time ago that her mom wasn’t strong enough to be her mother, but that T was strong enough to be her daughter.

That’s how she saw me—I was betting. She was strong enough to love a man who tore her heart open on the regular because she knew none of these other women were staying. But she always would.

I looked at my feet.

I heard a low hiss.

“Bones. What are you doing up now?” My brother was shadowed in an alcove behind me.

“Getting my lady a drink ’cause I dehydrated her.” He stepped closer. “Wow, Albany’s got a calling card.” He waved his hand by his face.

“I didn’t realize the whole damn family would be down here cooking Thanksgiving dinner at four in the damn morning.” I followed Nix into the kitchen and sat at the island on a stool that creaked.

Nix filled up four glasses with ice and water from the fridge dispenser. He put two in front of me.

“One for you. One for her.” He motioned in the direction of T’s room with his chin.

I took mine and drank deeply, draining the whole thing.

“She doesn’t want me up there now. I hurt her. Deep.” I hadn’t told Nix about the feelings that T had caught.

“She’s something else.” He wasn’t interested in passing judgment. I knew he respected T as a professional. Trusted her. It wasn’t something he did lightly.

“She’s T.” Stating the obvious.

“Yeah. You got stuff you’re avoiding. You know it, and I know it. She’s not just an employee.” Nix drank.

“I never said that.” I ran a finger down the condensation on the empty glass.

We looked at each other and silence came over us. I knew what he was trying to broach. It wasn’t something I was interested in dealing with right now. I wasn’t horny for Albany anymore, and I was grateful for that. I’d had the fruit she’d dangled. It was an empty feeling now, and I liked to be alone. Even as much as I loved Nix, there was a bit of a process I needed to go through after I was done with the ladies.

“I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. It’s not something I do. But that girl?” Nix pointed with his skeleton tatted finger toward T’s room. “She’s a game changer.”

I watched hesitation cross his face. “Sweetness, say it. Tell me what you just thought. I can take it.”

Nix clenched and unclenched his fist before responding. It was distinctly a battle for him. I wasn’t sure if I was winning or losing with his next statement.

“If you aren’t going to bring her in, then you should let her go.”

I wasn’t expecting that. My man—he’d light the whole world on fire for me—Nix was telling me I was doing T wrong.

I looked at my feet and let it sink in.

“Hey, I’m not trying to bring you down. I’m just saying I know how to watch. I’ve done it before. With Becca I watched. But at least I had the distance and a screen protecting me. I didn’t have to be judged on the daily and found wanting. You know? T’s here all the time and has to see what you’re doing. She’s got deep feelings for you. She’s a stronger man than me.”

He tossed me the joke at the end. To try to wash the salt from the wound.

He was right. Goddamn it all if Nix wasn’t right. Keeping her here was selfish. Damn near torturous.

After pushing the water toward me, he advised, “Maybe wash your face and go take her this. Talk to her. You both deserve it.”

I twisted the glass in my hand. “Okay, I will.”

Nix touched Becca’s water glass to the one he’d poured for T and walked past me to go back to his lady.

I did as he recommended and spent some time at the kitchen sink cleaning up, then I took the glass to T’s room. The door appeared to be closed so I rapped on it. It swung open from the force. The window was open, but that wasn’t unusual. T was gone, though. I walked into her room and set the glass down on the side table. Her bathroom was neat and empty.

It was this way with us. She needed space to think. To breathe.

I missed her. I wasn’t sure what the hell I was going to do. If I could let her go again…