CHAPTER ELEVEN
Blanche
I feel like I’ve been lifting heavy weights all day as I trudge up the stairs. In the nostalgia of remembering what being a physical therapist was like, I’d forgotten how physically demanding it could be. I hesitate as I reach our landing. Jagger has been unusually sullen and withdrawn. The letter from his mother threw him for a real loop. While I can’t blame him, I hate the distance creeping in between us. The man has a lot to learn about communication. I shake my head as I think about his mediation with Warp. Healthy communication that is.
I unlock the door and step inside, dragging my feet as I toss my purse onto the table.
“Hey.”
“You’re home,” I whisper, trying to gauge his mood.
“I got sent home early. I was covering shifts for Tinley this week because Cody had the flu. So she did me a solid and took me off the schedule for the next two days, giving me four days off, with the weekend.” He studies me and frowns. “You okay, B?”
“Yes. The only thing I want right now is to take a shower, put on my pajamas, and crack open the bottle of Tennessee Whiskey Jess sent to the house.”
“We can do that.”
I shake my head. “Not really, ’cause I need to tame this mane. Which is fine, except I can barely lift my arms over my head right now. It takes so much more upper body strength than I’m used to. Before I worked with clients, who had a variety of injuries. The center focuses on spinal cord injuries, which means I need to beef up the muscles.” I flex my arms.
“Don’t worry about doing your hair; I can do that for you.”
“Babe, my hair is totally different from yours,” I say gently.
“I know, Curly Q, but I can follow directions.”
“You’d do that for me?” I whisper. His willingness is worth more than any diamond bracelet my husband ever gave me.
“Yeah. I know I’ve been a dick lately. I’m working my way through the bomb my mom dropped on me. I think I want to see her. At least once, you know? Do you think you could go with me?”
“You don’t even have to ask. Let me know dates when you’re ready. I’ll work it out with the center.”
He relaxes. “All right. Go get showered and bring me the hair stuff.”
“If you’re sure,” I say with a frown. I’ve never had a man willing to cater to me like this one. Maybe that’s why I follow his directions. If anyone else ever treated me the way he did, I’d be turned off. It’s different with Jagger. I know my happiness and well-being are always at the forefront of his mind in everything he does. I crave the ability to live unencumbered by too many choices. I can turn my busy head off and follow his lead.
“Now, woman. And use the good stuff I bought you by the crate at the mall.”
“Yes, sir.” I salute him, and he smacks my ass as I walk by.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m dressed in a pair of black, white, and pink plaid boxers and a pink tank top, and seated between his legs with a comb and twist cream.
“Show me what you want me to do, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Okay, the first thing you’re going to do is part my hair in sections.” I pull the comb down my hair and section off a chunk, pinning the rest back with a clip. “Then break into a smaller section.” I part a smaller piece, dip my hand in the vanilla cupcake scented, all-natural white hair cream, and work it into my hair with smooth, downward strokes. “Once it’s all saturated, you’ll part the hair into two strands like this.” I make a twist. “And then I like to add a Bantu knot.”
“A Bantu what?”
“A Bantu knot, watch.” I twist my hair and wind it into a circle, forming a small knot.
“And that’s it?”
“Yeah … All over my head.”
“Lean back, and relax.” I hand him the comb, and he gently parts the next section and follows my process. By the fourth Bantu knot, I’m relaxed against the couch, sipping on my tumbler of whiskey and falling deeper in love with the man who does more than make love to my body. He romances my soul.
“How was your day, other than being exhausting?”
“It was great. I’m working with this teenage girl named Bethany who’s amazing. She has a lumbar injury that landed her in a back brace for about six months. The doctor gave the green light, and we’re starting physical therapy.”
“What happened to her?”
“She took a fall while horseback riding. She’s competed since she was nine, but when the accident occurred, she was riding for fun.”
“Jesus.”
“I know. She works so hard for me. Her goal is to get back on a horse within the year and reclaim her old life. I have no doubt she’ll do just that.”
“You sound proud of her.”
“I am. I’m always inspired by work. These people are facing all kinds of challenges and most attack it with courage and optimism. It takes some longer to get there than others, but I’ve seen it time and time again. The will to survive is strong, and hope is a living, breathing thing. I missed the daily reminders of that.”
“So you like your job?”
“I love it, J. When I’m there, I know I’m exactly where I should be, doing what I was put on this Earth to do.”
“I like seeing you happy. You’ve been glowing since you started there.”
I wrap my hand around his leg and rub up and down his muscular calf. “Thank you for pushing me to go for it. I needed someone in my corner, and you and Jess were there every step of the way.”
“I didn’t do anything but speak the truth. I knew you could do it if you wanted it bad enough. Who else did you work with?”
“I worked with Mr. Anderson. He’s a regular we see three to four times a week. He’s got a spinal injury at C-7. It’s between the cervical and thoracic where the nerve roots exit, so he’s unable to use his legs for the most part, though he does have sensation in them.”
“Whoa. What happened?”
“Car accident.”
“And it’ll never get better?”
“No, but he’s an ideal patient. He was healthy before the accident, and jumped right back into the eating and exercising he could do during his recovery. There are so many things they can still do, just in a different way. He is playing on a basketball league, drives an adaptable car, and mentors others who’ve been recently diagnosed with his support group. He lives more than most people with full use of their faculties.”
J whistles. “It sounds like. I can’t imagine what it would be like, not having the use of your lower body. Does he have help?”
“Yes, he has an assistant during the day, and we work closely with him to make sure he has everything he needs to help make his life easier. I love that our center does consultations on equipment. It makes us a full stop. I think that’s part of the healing, getting the complete picture and remaining with the people you trust.”
“You ever get sad?”
“Only when we have those people who come in and don’t really want help. Those are hard. Sometimes they turn around, and other times they don’t.” Closing my eyes, I lean back against the couch.
“Is that why you quit before?”
“Yes, I had two really tough cases back to back, and I was stretched thin between my job, all of the functions I had to attend with Brooks, and all of Whitney’s activities. I could have hired help, but I wasn’t going to let someone else raise her. I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I felt like I was missing out on too much. It was the right choice. I think we were all happier for the reprieve.”
“And you didn’t mind it?”
“No, I was happy to take a step back from being Super Woman for a while.”
“If you loved being a mom so much, why didn’t you have more children?”
“I think part of me knew things weren’t that great between Brooks and I. Sure, we had money, but I was virtually a single parent in so many ways. It wasn’t what I signed up for.” The present me surfaces.
“Tell me what you wanted.”
“To raise a family together. I’m a simple girl. I wanted family dinners, outings, birthdays where I make the cake, and cheesy weekend trips, and vacations. I always thought I’d have a mid-sized family in a life full of love and laughter. I couldn’t care less about how wealthy Brooks was. I liked that he made me laugh, accepted me, quirks and all, and I believed at the time, wanted the same things I did.”
“And now you don’t?”
“I think he tricked me into getting what he needed. A nice, naïve, proper Southern wife who could hold down the fort, make him look good, and raise his child. He was always going to do what he wanted.”
“That’s fucked up, B.”
“So are a lot of other things in the world.”
“That’s not you talking, B.”
“When it comes to this it is. I wasted so many years on this man. I refuse to let him have a moment more of my life. It sickens me to think of how long I lived in darkness, and then denial. I always made excuses for him. Work kept him away. He was too preoccupied with his patients to remember our anniversary. But, hey, at least his secretary thought to send flowers and pick out a gift. I got some dope pieces of jewelry from her.”
“Jesus, baby.”
“I wanted him to be someone he wasn’t, and in doing that, I made a prison for myself.”
“What changed?”
“Realizing Whitney was watching my every move. Thinking about what I was teaching her, and how I’d feel if a man ever tried to treat her the way her father did me. I knew then I had to be stronger. That’s why I confronted him that night. I wanted him to know I wasn’t that stupid girl he married. I knew what he was doing, and I was done turning a blind eye.”
J covers my shoulders with his hands and massages the tension from them.
“You know what happened then?”
“I do,” he replies.
I nod my head. “Then I don’t need to go into details.”
“If he ever comes near you or Whitney again, I’m putting him in the ground where no one will find him.”
“You don’t know the kind of money his parents have.”
“B, I don’t give a fuck if his father is the President of the United States. He comes near you, and they won’t have to worry about trying to find him again, ’cause he will permanently disappear off the face of this planet. I don’t make threats. I keep promises.”
It should sicken me, but it doesn’t. Knowing this man who just gently twisted my hair would kill to protect me and my daughter only makes me more certain with him is exactly where I need to be. Leaning my head back, I meet his gaze.
“If you ever see or even get the slightest inclining he’s around, you call me, or the clubhouse. Then you come to my work or the club.”
“You’ve seen how jumpy I can be.”
“What did I say, B? The slightest hint and you get to safety.” His eyes flash with anger I know isn’t directed toward me.
I nod my head.
“Good. I’ve seen this shit go sideways too many times. You can never underestimate crazy, especially the crafty ones. They have a way of waiting in the wings until you let your guard down.”
I don’t have to ask him to know he’s speaking from experience. The M.C. life isn’t always easy. There was a time when it might have scared me away. It doesn’t because I know, better than most, trouble follows you wherever you go. I should’ve been safe in my million-dollar home located in a gated community, married to my perfect husband. Instead, I still wake from nightmares feeling his hands around my throat. That’s the ultimate irony, the doctor who was meant to heal, tried to steal away my life.
“Hair’s done. Now let’s order in, feed you, and go to bed early.”
I smile up at him. “You don’t have to call it a night just because I’m tired.”
“Who said anything about going to sleep right away?” he asks as he reaches for the menus in the end table drawer.
I never would’ve imagined this as my life. A sexy, younger man, with a troubled past, unconventional lifestyle, and the ability to make me happy in a way I’d forgotten was possible. I’m not naïve. I know he’s done bad things. There’s blood on his hands, and the club is much more than a group of motorcycle enthusiast who own businesses around town. We have a need to know policy. It keeps us both safe and sane. He says it’s the club policy with Old Ladies. Whatever happens in the future, I know with one-hundred percent certainty, this is where I’m supposed to be.
***
The women of K.O.C. are getting together with their families at Ruth’s. I’ve met her a few times at family days, but I’m nervous. The only one I really know is Dixie Rose. Blue has been absent because of her impending pregnancy. She had Camellia a few weeks ago, and I think she’ll be here along with Nevada, who’s married to another Enforcer, Wizard, and their little boy, Vegas.
I knock on the door and shove my hands in the pockets of my khaki shorts. The redhead answers the door and smiles.
“I’m so glad you came, Blanche.”
“Thank you for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome.” She steps back, and I smile as I realize she has a dark-haired little girl attached to her leg.
“Well, hi,” I say waving.
“This is Skye.”
“Hi, Skye.”
She smiles up at me, then takes off like a light.
“Come on. We’re all hanging out in the backyard. We try to get together like this a couple times a month. It’s pretty low key. It helps us battle the testosterone overload we’re all faced with because of the Kings’ Sausagefest.”
I laugh. “That is such an accurate description.” I admire her house. It’s got an authentic vintage feel. “I love your house.”
“Thank you. It belonged to Skull’s grandparents. We’ve made upgrades here and there, but I couldn’t stand to do an overhaul. It’s too beautiful as it is.”
I nod my head in agreeance as we step through the sliding door. There’s a swing set, sandbox, and baby slide. The ladies and lunch are set up at patio tables.
I wave as we approach, and take a seat next to Dixie Rose, who’s holding Blue’s baby.
“Hey, ladies,” I say.
“Blue, this is Blanche. Blanche, this is Blue and my goddaughter, Delphine.”
“She’s beautiful,” I say, taking in the tiny bundle in a pink dress with mermaids, tiny pink sandals, and a head full of dark curls.
I hold out my hand. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” I say as reach out to shake Blue’s hand.
“Likewise. I have to admit, I’ve been dying to meet you since Shadow told me Freeze had a woman.”
“He told me his reputation would proceed him, but that didn’t prepare me for the response when we walked in together.”
Blue laughed. “I would have paid money to see that.”
“It still happens. Your daughter is beautiful.”
“Thank you. I still can’t believe she’s here.”
“It’s an adjustment once you have them.”
“Do you have children?” Blue asked.
“One girl, Whitney. She just started her freshman year in Virginia this year.”
“You do not look old enough to have a baby in college,” Ruth says.
I laugh. “Thank you for that.”
“So when are you and Echo going to add to your family?” Ruth asks Dixie Rose.
“Maybe in another year or so. I just got the new job, and we’re enjoying each other and the house. We had so much keeping us apart for so long.” She sighs.
I don’t know their story, but it seems like it was full of pain.
“But that’s all over now,” Blue says.
“I’m glad some good came of it at least,” Dixie Rose replies.
“I’m lost.”
“The old Bylaws were …” Ruth trails off
“Racist,” Dixie supplies.
My mouth forms an O.
“They only allowed white and Hispanic members into the club, and some members, Echo’s father, in particular, took that mentality too far,” Dixie Rose explains.
“Wow. I’m sorry. I’m from the Deep South, so I get it.”
“Stone squashed it. They voted to change the laws and took out the garbage. It’s a better environment now. So I don’t want you worrying about anything,” Blue says.
There’s a moment of silence and sadness that falls over the table. I’m missing something. I don’t know them well enough to pry, so I make a mental note to ask Jagger later.
“Where’s Tinley?” I ask as I watch the children interact. All the little ones running around make me miss that stage in life. They’re so sweet and curious at that age. They almost make me want another one with their baby hands, chubby faces, and sweet smells.
“She had to work today,” Ruth replies.
“She’s such a good mom. I feel bad that her douche bag back home is being a dick and denying Cody,” Dixie Rose says.
“She’s not going after him for a Paternity test?” I ask, surprised she’d let it slide.
“Not that I know of.”
I wonder why.
“Maybe he’s more trouble than the money he’d send would be worth,” Ruth suggests.
“She works hard, but she also makes good money. She doesn’t need anything from him, and maybe that’s for the best,” Nevada remarks.
“Not everyone is built to be a parent, that’s for sure,” I agree.
The topic shifts and I grab one of the deli sandwiches on the display in the center of the table.
“There are drinks in the cooler, too.” Ruth gestures toward the white and blue square beside us.
“Thanks.” I snag a bottled of water and listen, soaking up all the information they’re providing like a sponge.
“So, Calla gets out of jail next year,” Blue says quietly.
“Shit,” Ruth, Dixie Rose, and Nevada say at the same time.
“I’m sorry, who?” I glance around the table at the sympathetic expressions.
“My sister, Bolton’s biological mother.”
“Satan’s spawn,” Ruth mumbles.
“My sister has problems. She’s an addict who never put Bolton first. Always acting out, getting into trouble, and running to my father, God rest his soul, to bail her out. Our sibling rivalry is somewhat of a legend around the club. I never wanted anything more than to be friends, but she wasn’t interested in that.”
“That’s the nice version. She’s a raging cunt who’s always been spiteful, jealous, and hateful. Somewhere along the line, she took a wrong turn and never got on track. She took all her failures, disappointments, and mistakes out on Blue with the help of her enabling mom.”
“They had their reasons,” Blue says quietly.
“Yeah, really shitty ones,” Dixie Rose mutters.
“I’m sorry, it couldn’t have been an easy thing to go through,” I whisper.
“It wasn’t, but that’s all over, and I refuse to go back. Hearing she’ll be coming home was a shock to the system. I’d put it on the backburner, you know. Then I get this letter in the mail from her.”
“Oh, I have to hear this,” Ruth says.
“It wasn’t what you’d think actually. She wants to come back and build a relationship with Bolton—”
“Oh, come on. He has no interest in her after everything she put him through,” Ruth exclaims.
“I know. It’s his choice, though, and I refuse to pressure him one way or another. As much as I love him like my own, she’s his mother.”
“Yeah, but you’re his mom. There’s a wealth of difference in those two things,” Nevada says.
Blue smiles. “You think so?”
“We know so. What does Shadow say?” Ruth asks.
“Yeah, about that …” Blue whispers quietly, looking guilty.
Dixie clucks her tongue. “Girl, you didn’t tell him yet?”
“I want to let him enjoy Delphine a little more before I let a storm cloud roll in. He and Bolty. They deserve some family bonding, and I have plenty of time before she shows up.” She shrugs, and Dixie Rose relinquishes her hold on Delphine.
As Blue cuddles the newborn to her chest, I see the fear flash in her dark eyes. Calla must be hell on wheels to shake everyone so much.
“Whatever you need we’re here for you, but you better come clean before he finds out from someone else,” Ruth says.
“I will. I’m going to do it tonight.” She kisses the top of Delphine’s head. “For her sake, I hope she’s ready to make good on everything she wrote me because I’m not letting anything hurt my family or me. She’s had a lifetime worth of second chances. This is her final one as far as I’m concerned.”
“I wouldn’t even give her that. You’re better than me,” Ruth mumbles.
“You know we’re friends when we start airing our dirty laundry in front of you,” Nevada says.
“I think I top you on skeletons in the closet. My ex-husband tried to drown me in our swimming pool. When I escaped, he went on the run, and he hasn’t been seen since.”
Nevada’s eyes widen. “Are you for real? That’s something straight off the ID Channel.”
“Yeah. I know.” I cringe.
“Hey, judgment-free zone here,” Ruth says.
I sigh, glad to have it off my chest. They don’t look at me differently as we move on to the next topic seamlessly. I’m finding my place in all areas of my life as I put myself back together, and the mosaic I’m making is more beautiful than I could imagine. It’s incredible, the breathtaking creations you can construct from broken slivers of glass and souls.