*****
For the last five days and seven hours I had the same routine. Cry my eyes out every evening, wake up crying, then cry myself through breakfast. Immediately run to the bathroom and lose my breakfast, then attempt to hide the signs of my misery under tons of makeup.
At school, Debby had started to watch me more closely, making it difficult for me to avoid her after class.
Today, after a weekend of pain, suffering, gruesome nausea and violent cramps, I struggled to get ready for class. I didn't know how I survived the subway.
As usual, I greeted the restrooms first, then conveniently arrived late to class. Debby looked angry.
“We might be friends out of school, Miss Colt, but I will not stand you disturbing the class every day. Are we clear?”
“I'm sorry,” I mumbled, looking down to hide my tears.
At my canvas, I couldn't focus. Gradually, I felt weaker and weaker. For some reason, my feet were getting cold and the seat of my chair seemed wet. I checked to see if everything was alright and cried out.
“I'm bleeding!”
There was a commotion around me and I faintly remembered Debby shouting at me. Something about an ambulance, from what I could make out.
After that, there was a rain of color and darkness. When I came to, I was being hurried through the hallways of a hospital, the bright lights running above me, hurting my eyes.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard Debby arguing with the doctor, saying that she would be coming in with me no matter what. I felt too weak to argue, and fell asleep.
I didn't know what time it was when I finally woke up. All I knew was that I was feeling better and I needed water.
“Here you go,” Debby said, offering me a plastic cup.
Looking sheepish, I grabbed the cup and downed the water in one gulp. There was silence for a while, then Debby said:
“The baby’s fine. Your doctor said that the pregnancy is vulnerable and that you need to stay away from any stress.”
I nodded. “So you know.”
“Of course I know. What the hell were you thinking not telling me? And Peter? How could you keep something like this from him?”
“It's complicated, Deb. Wait, how do you know about Peter and me?”
She snorted. “I called him. Naturally, I thought that the father of the baby would be concerned for his child, right? And what do I find out? The poor bastard didn't even know his girlfriend was pregnant. Oh, wait, you're not his girlfriend anymore.”
“Oh, my God, you called him! This is what I wanted to avoid. He has a girlfriend! I don't want to cause any…”
“You're stupid and you're talking nonsense. Of course he has a girlfriend. You!”
“No, I'm serious. I heard someone say it to his face.”
I seemed to have misunderstood Debby, as she started laughing.
“You know nothing. That someone was his brother. Everyone in the family hates him, and he hates everyone. He just wanted to bust Pete's chops and you, the fool that you are, helped him. And the girlfriend he mentioned? It was his father's idea before Peter told him about you. But of course you wouldn't know anything about this. You've been ignoring the poor bastard’s calls ever since that night.”
I had nothing to say for myself. I couldn't even breathe from the sadness that enveloped me. Hot tears started running down my cheeks as various monitors started beeping and crying with me.
Debby jumped as the door opened and, instead of a doctor, Peter burst in.
“What did you do?” he barked at Debby, who slid along the wall, genuinely scared.
He turned his attention to me. I didn't want to look at him. I knew he hated me.
“Shh, baby dot. Everything will be alright,” he whispered, cradling my sobbing body into his strong arms. “Shh. It's OK.”
The attending nurses left him to hold me while they checked the monitors. As I was calming down, they too were getting quiet. Eventually, we were alone.
“Do you hate me?” I asked, unable to look into his eyes.
“No, baby dot. I hate my brother. I love you and your strong will, baby dot. Or should I call you ‘mamma dot’ now?”
I giggled with tears in my eyes, my lungs tightening again around the lump in my chest. This time, it was because I was happy.
“I love you, baby daddy.”
“I know you do, silly. I love you too. You're the light of my life, baby dot.”
*****
THE END