LINDSEY
My father was being released from the hospital later today, so it was the last morning I got to wake up next to Mark. I turned on my side, thinking he was still sleeping, but I found him fiddling with his phone instead.
“What are you up to, babe?” I asked, caressing his arm. Somehow, I was comparing it with Adam’s, which seemed thicker and more muscular.
“Morning, buttercup. I thought you were asleep,” Mark answered, locking the phone screen.
“I was. I just woke up.”
He grinned, a sign he wanted to have sex, and leaned to kiss me.
“Why didn’t you come at the hospital?” I asked before he could touch my lips.
“You know why, babe. I was busy with college. Then, I was tired, because I had an exam in the morning.”
“Yeah, but I needed you there.”
He sighed. “I know. I know, baby. I’m sorry. You were stuck with Adam for all that time.”
“Hey, don’t talk about him like that!”
“Sorry! I thought you hated the guy.”
“I... It’s different.”
Frustrated with myself, I turned on my back and closed my eyes. I thought I would have a minute to myself, but Mark started kissing my neck. I had to push him away.
“Sorry, baby. I’m just not in the mood. I’m sorry.”
He exhaled loudly, taking his usual time to choose his words carefully.
“It’s OK, babe. I get it, with everything about your father. I’m gonna take a shower. Want to join?”
“You go, I’ll make breakfast,” I said. It could’ve been the most romantic moment of the morning, taking a shower together, but I was just not feeling it.
Mark kissed me chastely on the cheek and went into the ensuite bathroom. I put my silk robe on and went downstairs.
As I made the scrambled eggs and bacon, I tried to think about anything but Adam. I wasn’t sure what my feelings meant; I was more confused than I liked to be, the underlying mood to everything being hopelessness. Why did I feel this way?
“Smells good, babe,” Mark interrupted my torturous thoughts. I showed my gratefulness with a long kiss and a full plate of food.
“Bon appetite,” I said to him before taking a bite of bacon.
Why did I get so defensive of Adam earlier?
As his face reappeared in my mind, my appetite dissipated. I couldn’t eat anymore.
“Are you eating that, babe?”
“No, you can have it.”
Mark pulled my plate close and transferred all the bacon onto his. I watched him eat fast, as was his habit, and tried to suppress the queasiness.
Something was up with me and I wasn’t sure what exactly.
After breakfast, Mark kissed me goodbye and left. I went to my room, got dressed, and drove to the hospital. The nurse we had hired was already there.
“Hey, Wyatt,” I said, shaking the lanky man’s hand.
“Hi, Miss. They’re preparing the paperwork now. Shouldn’t be long.”
I nodded. Wyatt wasn’t a man for small talk, then.
With that in mind, I paced the large waiting room, starting to think of Adam again. I didn’t like the way it made me feel, somewhere between queasy and blue, so I pushed the thoughts away.
The time was twelve past five. The hospital personnel seemed to take their time with those papers.
“Sorry, could you tell me the status on a patient, please? He was to be released today,” I asked the nurse at the reception desk.
“Sure, Miss.”
I gave her Dad’s information and waited another good fifteen minutes before she told me he was on his way out.
“Thank you.”
“Miss Lindsey!” Wyatt called. He had taken over Father’s wheelchair from the hospital nurse.
“Dad!”
“Hey, kiddo. How’s life alone in the house?”
“Very boring,” I said, bending down to hug him. “Let’s go home, daddy.”
“Damn right!”
“Language, Mr.!”
We shared a laugh on the way out, and I was starting to feel like I had worried for nothing. Dad was fine, my dispute with Adam had been resolved, and things with Mark couldn’t have gone better. Any ridiculous thoughts needed to be denied stay in my mind.
“Come on, we need to get you home so I can go see Mr. Iason,” I said, opening the car door for Dad.
“What are you seeing your boss for? It’s only Thursday, honey.”
“I’m handing in my resignation.”
“What for?”
“I will be home with you on weekends, Dad.”
“Honey...”
“This is not up for discussion. Didn’t you used to say I didn’t need to work anyway?”
“Using my own words like that... You love that job, baby.”
I smiled. Dad was such a weird man. Up until now he had hated me having a job as a lowly sales assistant, and now was all for it; not long ago he would’ve paid someone for changing a lightbulb, but three days ago he had been fiddling with the old balcony railing. “He’s getting old,” I thought and shook my head, amused.
“What?”
“Dad, less talk more work, please. I need to be with Mr. Iason in fifteen minutes.”
“I can drive Mr. Michael home, if you need to be somewhere,” Wyatt offered.
“No, Wyatt. Let her run late, maybe Iason won’t consider her resignation,” Dad said, closing the car door and making a face at me.
“Dad! Thank you, Wyatt. If you could that, I would be most grateful.”
I watched him get into the driving seat of Dad’s Bentley and driving off.
I had taken Dad’s car to the hospital, thinking the sight of his favorite possession would cheer him up. It turned out he didn’t need much cheering.
Unlike me; I was feeling sadder and sadder for some unknown reason. It was so uncharacteristic of me.
On the cab ride over to Mr. Iason’s jewelry shop I sat, lost in thought, almost on the brink of crying.
It was so unlike me, so foreign. And the fact that I had no idea what was happening made everything even worse.
I tried to explain it away with Dad’s incident, but it made little sense. He was happy, despite his injuries, so why would I be sad?
And couldn’t have been mourning over my conflict with Adam. It was so much nicer now, being friendly. I felt so much better whenever he came over to work on the railing.
I smiled instinctively, picturing him busy at work, having no idea I would be watching him from time to time.
I was blushing when I got out of the cab. The scolding I was giving myself for thinking like that distracted me from paying the driver, so I felt even more embarrassed when I had to turn around and pay him in front of all the onlookers.
“God, what am I thinking!”
“Distracted much?” Matilda intercepted me from the door.
“What? No, I’m fine. You work during the week?”
“Not usually, honey. What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to Mr. Iason.”
She pointed to his office door but stopped me when I passed by her.
“What’s happening? You look lovesick.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Is it the hunk from the park? I knew that pretty boy would break your heart, honey.”
“Who? Adam? There’s nothing between us.”
She nodded, thoughtfully. “I understand, girl. It must be hard to talk about him. After all this time together, I under...”
“What time together? I have a boyfriend; you know?”
“I know; we’re talking about him. Man, this guy must’ve broken your heart pretty bad if you can’t even think straight.”
“Adam’s not my boyfriend. You’re confused.”
With a supportive look in her eyes, she pulled me in a tight hug. “Shhh, babe. I know. All those evening walks, all those nice dinners, waking up next to each other. I know it must be hard to let go.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, pushing her away. I couldn’t say why, but her words made so much sense. I was on the brink of crying, despite her not making any sense.
“Look, you can deny it all you want. I saw you together coming out of Margherita’s. You looked so happy together. You know, I almost stopped you to say ‘I told you so’, but I didn’t want to ruin your evening.”
“I went at Margherita’s with my boyfriend, Mark.”
“I thought you said his name was Adam.”
“Adam’s not my boyfriend.”
“What are you talking about?” Weirdly enough, it was her turn to be puzzled.
“Adam and Mark are two different guys. You met Adam in the park, and you saw Mark with me at the restaurant.”
“No. That’s not possible. I mean, I only saw him for a few moments, but these are one and the same, girl. Don’t play with me.”
I raised my eyebrows. Was she off her medication?
“You must’ve confused them, Matilda. I can assure you they are two different people. Very different indeed.”
“Girl, stop playing. They look identical.”
Something in her voice stopped me from arguing the contrary. It felt like the chip had fallen and the fog was finally clearing up.
All of a sudden, I could see the similarities between the two; hair, built, height, face, even voice.
How could I have been so blind?
The shock of the discovery finally broke the dams and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t understand why, I couldn’t see how, but it felt so relieving to finally acknowledge that what was happening was real.