Chapter 16
Jules
Despite the fact that the cookie shop had been closed for the last several days, orders were still coming in. Foot traffic to the shop may not have been very good, but phone orders were actually doing rather well.
Rather than sit around in his brother’s house and wallow in his misery, Jules threw himself into his work. Following his grandmother’s recipes and filling orders allowed him to stay busy. It gave him a sense of purpose that helped him get through each new day and slowly begin to distance himself from the pain in his heart.
Unfortunately, the baby growing inside him was beginning to make things difficult.
His stomach bubbled in revulsion as he opened a bottle of vanilla extract and began measuring it into a mixing bowl. The nausea washed over him in full force. Nothing smelled right to him anymore. The very thought of food made him want to vomit. He struggled forward. The batch of cookies he was making were a special order for a wedding and would need to be picked up by the end of the day. If he didn’t get everything done on time, it would tarnish his business’s reputation.
After adding the last of the ingredients to the bowl, he locked it in place beneath the electric mixer and turned the machine on. His stomach threatened to heave right there.
Gritting his teeth, Jules retreated to the front of the shop. The scent of fresh cookies and ingredients were still present even up here, but it wasn’t quite as oppressive as it was in the kitchen. He took a seat at one of the small tables in the corner and stared out the front windows.
Butterflies fluttered around the flowers that were in full bloom outside. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and it looked to be a nearly perfect day.
Jules sighed and slumped back in his chair. He gingerly rested a hand on his belly. He still found it hard to believe he was pregnant. Between the blood test and the follow-up exam with the obstetrician, there was no room left for doubt.
A car pulled into the parking lot outside, drawing Jules’s attention. It looked like a delivery van of some sort.
The driver climbed out and dug in the back for a moment before retrieving a massive bouquet of flowers. He carried them towards the door of the shop and Jules slowly rose to his feet.
“Are you Jules?” asked the driver as he stepped inside.
“Yeah, I am...” Jules was a little hesitant as the delivery driver approached him. He couldn’t imagine who would want to send him flowers.
“These are for you; enjoy.” The driver presented them to him. As soon as the bouquet was safely in Jules’s arms, the driver left without another word.
Jules blinked several times as he tried to process what had just happened. The bouquet contained a wide arrangement of flowers in a glorious range of colors and shapes. He couldn’t name half of them, though he suspected some of them were lilies and there were a few roses, and some of what he thought were fern fronds. The whole thing came with a vase of its own, though it was in need of water.
He checked it over a few times but couldn’t find a card.
Frowning, he carried the bouquet back into the kitchen and filled the vase with water. It must’ve come from Jasper or Jalie, or possibly his mother. They were the only ones he could think of that might do something like this for him. They all knew that he’d been having a rough time over the last few days, and it would be just like them to try and cheer him up with something like this.
He set the bouquet on the counter, far away from the cookie prep area, and stood back to admire it for a moment. It really was a beautiful bouquet, and receiving such an unexpected gift had lifted his spirits significantly.
The sound of the front door chime drew his attention.
“Hey, Jules, you in here?” Jasper called out.
“In the kitchen,” Jules replied as he turned to face the mixer with renewed determination. He was going to get through this day, nausea or no.
His resolve met with an immediate tightening of his gut as he switched the mixer off and peered down at the ball of cookie dough. For some reason, the mere thought of picking up the stretchy, doughy ball in his hands made his skin crawl.
“You look a little green there, Jules,” said Jasper as he entered the kitchen. He had a diaper bag slung over one shoulder and was carrying baby Jubilee’s car seat in one hand. “Why don’t you take Juju for me and I’ll work on that?”
“It’s a special order, for a wedding,” protested Jules, picking up the bowl and dumping the dough out onto the floured counter top. “I’ve got to get it finished.”
“And if you puke on it, you’re going to have to start from scratch,” countered Jasper as he set the car seat down by the door and dropped the diaper bag beside his daughter. “Look, I know what you’re going through. Don’t you remember how bad I was when I first got pregnant? And Jalie was incredibly sick through the first trimester of all three of her pregnancies.”
“Are you trying to tell me this runs in the family?” asked Jules with a frown as he stepped back from the counter.
“Yeah, I am,” said Jasper as he washed his hands and prepared to take over the baking process. “Is the oven pre-heated?”
“Yeah, it’s the first thing I did,” said Jules. He slowly slunk across the kitchen to where his niece was looking around with wide-eyed wonder at the world around her. “I’m kinda surprised to see you out and about already,” admitted Jules.
“Can’t stay cooped up in the house forever,” said Jasper with a grin as he set to work. “Besides, it’s good to get her out and expose her to new experiences. I also noticed the way you looked at breakfast this morning. You barely ate anything, and when Tony offered you eggs, you looked like you were gonna blow chunks right there.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” chuckled Jules.
“It was,” insisted Jasper. “I’ve got some seltzer water in the diaper bag for you. It should help settle your stomach.” He rolled up his sleeves and hefted a rolling pin. “Who sent the flowers?”
Jules looked back up at the vase and then over at his brother. “There’s no card so I thought it must’ve been you or Jalie.”
“It wasn’t me. They’re pretty though.”
“Yeah, they are.” Jules smiled softly as he opened up the diaper bag and recovered the bottle of seltzer water. He’d never really enjoyed the taste before, but today, the bubbly liquid brought sweet relief. His stomach was still a mess, and he was certain if he tried to get involved in the baking again, it would only make things worse, but he wasn’t half as miserable as he had been before.
“How’re you doing, little miss?” Jules asked as he turned his attention back to Jubilee. She looked up at him happily as she sucked on a brightly colored pacifier.
“Why don’t you take her out so she can look around?” suggested Jasper, continuing to work. “She’s already beginning to hold her head up on her own.”
“Would you like that?” Jules coaxed as he began unfastening the buckle for the car seat. He gingerly freed his niece from her restraints and lifted her up in his arms. He cradled her gently against his chest, propping her up so she could see her daddy.
“I really appreciate you coming by,” said Jules after a few minutes of playing with his niece. “You’re really saving me here.”
“It’s no big deal. We’re brothers, family. This is what we do.” Jasper grinned up at him as he started laying cookies out on the cookie sheet. “You just gotta say the word and we’ll be there for you.”
“Still, thanks.” Jules looked down at Jubilee and smiled softly as he fought back the wave of melancholy that settled over him.
Family. Support.
His baby would get both of those things from cousins, aunts and uncles. But he or she would never know Kilo’s side of the family. Little India would grow up without ever knowing that she had a sibling. That realization alone made Jules’s chest hurt.
He would do his best to give his baby a future full of love, surrounded by family, but part of him doubted he’d ever be able to fill the void left by Kilo’s meltdown.
Jules’s vision began to blur with the threat of tears. Damn that fool Alpha for being such a dick. He’d broken Jules’s heart more deeply than he’d first realized. He was almost certain he’d never fully recover from the pain of this particular breakup.
The sound of the front door chime pulled his attention and he dried his eyes on one sleeve.
“Do you need me to get that?” asked Jasper, dusting the flour off his hands.
“No, it’s fine. I’ve got it,” Jules assured him. “Little Juju can get her first taste of business. Who knows? Maybe she’ll grow up to become an entrepreneur because of this experience.” He laughed as he adjusted her in his arms and made his way out into the front of the shop.
He immediately froze in place as his heart came to a stop.
“Kilo...” he breathed.
The Alpha was standing near the front door. The expression on his face was unreadable, but he was every bit as handsome as Jules remembered. The mere sight of him sent shards of pain and pleasure arcing through his body. He was torn between either rushing into Kilo’s arms or grabbing the nearest blunt object and chucking it at his head.
“Kilo, what are you doing here?” asked Jules, trying his best to wrap his head around what was happening. His body was frozen by indecision. The only thing that kept him from sinking to his knees right there was the fact that he was holding his niece.
“I...I wanted to know if you got the flowers I sent,” Kilo said.
Jules’s jaw fell open, and it took him a moment to try and think of a response. His brain seemed to be struggling to engage, thanks to the sudden ambush.
The door to the kitchen burst open behind him and Jasper came storming out with a spatula in one hand and a rolling pin in the other.
“You’ve got some nerve showing your face around here,” growled Jasper. “What kind of bastard shows up out of the blue after doing what you did to my brother? Get your ass out that door and hit the road before I come over there and give you a piece of my mind!” The look of pure anger on his face was something that Jules had never witnessed before.
Jasper had always been the most laid-back and easygoing member of the family. To see him this riled up was surprising, and inspiring.
“I-it’s okay, Jasper,” said Jules, gently laying a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I want to hear what he has to say.”
Jasper relaxed his stance slightly, but still maintained his pissed off expression. “I don’t see why you’d give him the time of day, Jules. You’re being more generous than this prick deserves.”
“Maybe...but that’s for me to decide, okay?” said Jules, leveling a soft smile at his brother. “Why don’t you take Jubilee for me? I’ll let you know if I need your help, okay?”
“If you do anything to hurt Jules again, I’m going to end you,” Jasper spat at Kilo before setting his weapons aside on the counter and taking his daughter in his arms. “I’m right here if you need me,” he reminded Jules as he reluctantly withdrew into the kitchen.
“I appreciate you giving me a chance,” said Kilo as soon as Jasper disappeared.
Jules immediately circled the counter and jabbed a finger into Kilo’s chest as he glared up at him. “I have half a mind to kick you out right now,” he warned. “Just because I made Jasper back down doesn’t mean I’m not angry with you. It just means I wanted the chance to tell you to your face.”
“Jules, I—”
“No, you don’t get to talk,” Jules snapped, as he took a step back. “You went on your little tirade that day when you kicked me out of the house and I was so stunned that I just let you do it without fighting back. I’m not letting you do that again. What happened that day, the way you reacted, that wasn’t fair in the slightest. You didn’t even give me a chance to try and defend myself. You just went full judge-jury-executioner and handed down my sentence all by yourself.”
Jules clenched his hands into white-knuckled fists and ground his teeth. “I came there to give you some of the best news I’ve gotten all year. I’m pregnant. I thought it was impossible, but it happened. I thought, of all the people in the world, you would share my excitement. After all, it was a miracle. It was a miracle and I was so happy. But apparently there’s no room in your Neanderthal brain for miraculous pregnancies. Instead, you immediately accuse me of cheating on you.”
Kilo’s shoulders had slumped and he was avoiding Jules’s gaze.
“Cheating!” Jules repeated with more emphasis. “Have I ever given you any reason to doubt my fidelity? Have I ever been anything less than honest with you? I still cannot fathom how the hell you got everything so twisted up in your head that the only plausible explanation for my pregnancy was that I cheated on you. I thought we were doing better than that. I thought our relationship meant more than that.” His face was flushed, and he felt as if he was about to start crying from this sudden outburst of emotion.
“I’m sorry,” Kilo said as Jules took a moment to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry, Jules. You’re right. You’re right about everything. I...I messed it all up. The way I acted, the things I said...I should never have said those things to you. The thought should never have even entered my mind.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. “You should see this,” he said as he held it towards Jules.
Jules eyed the paper warily, but said nothing. He kept his hands motionless at his sides as well. Despite Kilo’s sudden apology and admission of guilt, Jules’s anger towards him hadn’t yet abated. He wasn’t about to give in just yet.
“Um...” Kilo withdrew the paper and took a deep breath. “These are the results of a semen analysis that was ordered by Doctor Spencer. Despite what we thought...I’m not completely infertile. I...I do have some active, healthy sperm.”
Jules felt his heart skip a beat.
“It’s still a million to one odds that I could get someone pregnant,” continued Kilo, “but it’s not impossible...and I can’t bring myself to believe that you cheated on me. Like you said, you never gave me any reason to doubt you.” His voice cracked as his eyes dropped to Jules’s belly. “You’re pregnant with my baby. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was possible. I treated you horribly because of my own insecurities.
“Jules, I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will fully express just how sorry I am for what I did and said to you. I acted like a complete idiot. I know I don’t deserve it, and I know that I hurt you deeply, but I’m...I’m begging you to please forgive me. I want to prove to you that I can be better than I was. I want to help you through your pregnancy. I wanna raise our baby together.”
Jules looked away. His chest was tight and his heart was overflowing with emotion. The look on Kilo’s face, the tone of his voice, he seemed sincere in his desire to atone for his actions. Still, the pain he’d caused was fresh in Jules’s memory. The lingering ache still remained inside him and he wasn’t quite willing to forgive him just yet.
“I dumped us both in a world of misery,” continued Kilo. “I’ve been struggling to think of a way to make everything up to you. To prove that I will never be such a...a...”
“Ugly, inconsiderate asshole?” supplied Jules.
Kilo’s cheeks flushed, but he nodded in agreement. “I wanna prove to you that I’m never going to act like that again. That I’m worthy of being your Alpha. If you’ll give me the chance.”
“You’ve shattered my trust,” said Jules softly. “I trusted you with my heart and I don’t know when or if you’re ever going to be able to repair the damage you’ve done.”
“Will you at least let me try?” pleaded Kilo.
Jules slowly nodded his head. “I will, but Kilo...I’m...I’m doing this for the baby, and for India. I want them to have the chance to grow up together. To have the sort of relationship I have with my siblings. Our relationship...it’s going to take time.”
“I understand,” said Kilo, who looked like he was about to cry. “I won’t waste this opportunity, Jules. I promise.”
Jules’s heart tugged him closer to the Alpha. The emotional snarl in his chest desired to be soothed. One thing only would bring him peace. He turned his face towards Kilo, tilting his head back slightly.
The Alpha looked momentarily surprised, but also grateful. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Jules’s lips.
The contact was like pouring peroxide on an open wound. It stung, but soothed at the same time, causing a flare-up of heat between them.
Jules could feel Kilo reaching towards him to pull him closer, and he broke away.
“Why don’t you take me out for dinner tomorrow?” suggested Jules as he backed away from the Alpha. “Pick me up from Jasper’s house, around eight?”
Kilo looked disappointed that the kiss hadn’t gone further, but hopefully he’d realize that they were essentially starting over from square one here.
Kilo nodded his head slowly and offered Jules a soft smile. “I’ll be there.”