Chapter 7
Kilo
The house was quiet; India was fast asleep in her playpen in the living room.
The only sound was the rush of water pouring from the kitchen faucet and down the drain. Kilo stood there, staring but not really seeing. His thoughts were a tangled web that he was struggling to unravel.
His intention had been to start preparing the lasagna he’d planned to serve for dinner that night. He’d even gotten out a pot to boil the noodles in. Yet his every action was countered by a lingering uncertainty. Should he even bother?
It was clear that Jules wanted something that Kilo would never be able to give him. After watching him interacting with his nieces and nephew, Kilo couldn’t imagine sentencing the Omega to an existence without children of his own. He was a natural with them, and his dreams of being a soccer dad weren’t something that Kilo wanted to take away from him.
Kilo sighed and shook his head before digging out his cell phone. He really should just cancel dinner now. It would be painful, but maybe if he simply cut off all contact with Jules it would be better for both of them. Things were starting to get a little more serious, yes, but they hadn’t progressed so far that they couldn’t back out. It would be painful at first, but in the long run, maybe it would be better for them.
He looked down at the phone in his hands and rejected that idea almost as soon as it popped into his head. He couldn’t do that to Jules or himself. Despite the difficulties of their current situation, he couldn’t imagine turning his back on Jules like that. He wanted to at least discuss this entire situation like rational adults. Maybe there was a solution that he hadn’t thought of yet. At the very least, he owed Jules an explanation.
Shutting off the faucet, Kilo took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He glanced at the time on his phone and nodded slowly to himself. He still had a few hours to mentally prepare for Jules’s arrival. All he could do was hope that Jules would be understanding and willing to try and work things out together.
***
The doorbell rang at exactly seven o’clock. The house was filled with the delicious scent of freshly cooked food, and gentle music was playing in the background. The table was set, and everything was as perfect as Kilo could hope to make it.
“I hope I’m not late,” said Jules as the door opened. He smiled broadly, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes. “I kinda got lost and wound up a couple of blocks over. Somehow I guess I confused East Sixth Street with North Sixth Street.” He shook his head and held up a bottle of wine. “I...um...I wasn’t sure if I should bring something or not. Honestly, I’ve never actually been invited to a boyfriend’s house before, so this is all a little new to me.”
Kilo smiled softly and took the bottle when it was offered to him. “Jules, it’s just me. You don’t have anything to worry about,” he said softly as he swept his hand to the side, gesturing for Jules to enter.
He closed the door and quickly set the bottle of wine aside. All of his nervousness had evaporated now that he was in Jules’s presence again. That soft smile and the smell of vanilla and nutmeg and other cookie scents that wafted off of him like a perfume instantly put Kilo at ease. Serious conversations could wait for later. For now, he wanted to make Jules feel as comfortable as possible.
“Dinner’s just about ready,” said Kilo as he helped Jules out of his coat and hung it up on a peg by the door. “I know this might sound dumb, but if you could just kick your shoes off before stepping on the carpet, I’d really appreciate it. It’s really difficult to keep things clean around here. Now that India’s on the loose, I’d like to keep as much dirt out of the house as possible.”
“That’s not dumb at all,” said Jules, quickly kicking off his shoes. “I completely understand. I know we didn’t get a lot of time to talk at the park earlier. My sister’s kids can be kind of a handful sometimes. I love them to pieces, but they can test the nerves.”
“You looked like a natural out there,” said Kilo with a soft smile. “I’ve got a few more things to prep for dinner, but if you’d like to go say hi to India, she’s in her playpen in the living room.” He swallowed hard and inclined his head towards the arch leading to the other room. It felt like a natural suggestion, but at the same time, he was nervous. She had been lukewarm towards Jules when they were at the park, and there was always the possibility that she didn’t take to him at all. That alone would be disastrous for their fledgling relationship.
Jules nodded his head slowly. He was clearly aware of just how important this was to Kilo. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he said at last, meeting Kilo’s gaze and smiling a little. He withdrew from the entryway and disappeared into the living room.
Kilo hovered by the front door for a moment longer.
“Hello, Miss India. I’m Jules...” Jules’s voice drifted out of the living room. “I’m...um...I’m a friend of your daddy. Oh no, did you drop this little guy?”
“Moo-moo,” said India, with a hint of frustration in her voice.
Thankfully, she hadn’t reached the point where she was trying to climb free of her playpen, which was something Kilo was very much dreading. She had, however, gotten into the habit of throwing all her toys out of the playpen. Then she would stand there in her empty pen, growing more and more frustrated, until eventually she started crying. Apparently, Jules had interrupted her in the middle of her process.
“Well then, here’s Moo-moo back,” declared Jules. “Don’t worry, you can take him from me. I haven’t done anything to hurt it. There you go.” He sounded delighted as he spoke. Kilo could already picture the bright smile on his face.
“That one,” said India, who was likely pointing to something else in the room.
“This one? Is this another one of your little friends?” asked Jules. “Looks like a little moose.”
“Muss,” India replied.
Kilo couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for eavesdropping on their exchange. They were clearly getting along a lot better than he’d feared. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the wine bottle and returned to the kitchen.
True to his word, it only took a few more minutes for Kilo to finish getting everything ready. He’d already set out the dinner plates, gotten India’s high chair ready, and even had the wine ready to be served.
He looked over the table one last time before heading to the living room. He stopped just shy of the entrance when he heard Jules’s voice drifting out, listing off a familiar pattern of words. India had a collection of books that sat on a shelf of the living room bookcase. Kilo had always loved reading and it had been important to him that his daughter be introduced to the wonder of the written word as quickly as possible. As he peeked around the corner, he caught sight of Jules sitting on the floor beside India’s playpen, reading one of her favorite stories. She was sitting close to the mesh sides of the pen so she could stare at the brightly colored pages as he read her story.
“And they lived happily ever after,” declared Jules as he reached the final page of the book.
“Vee End,” said India with a squeal of delight. “Daddy!” She immediately climbed to her feet and clutched the top rail of her playpen. “Out, Daddy!”
“If you wanted to, you could have taken her out to read to her,” said Kilo, unable to help the grin on his face as he crossed the living room.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to or not,” said Jules as he set the book aside. “I didn’t want to assume anything.” He stood and met Kilo’s gaze as he drew near.
“Well, if you want, you can bring her into the dining room. I’ve got her high chair already set up,” Kilo suggested. “You don’t have to if it makes you uncomfortable,” he quickly added.
“No, no...I do.” Jules’s face lit up as he turned to India. “How about it, little miss? Would you like to go eat some dinner?” He held out his arms towards her.
India regarded him carefully for a minute before shifting her attention from Kilo to Jules.
“Up,” she demanded, stretching her hands towards him.
Jules gingerly bent down and lifted India up out of the playpen. She grabbed hold of him tightly and seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. As he straightened and turned to face Kilo, the Alpha’s heart skipped a beat.
The sight of India in Jules’s arms satisfied something deep inside him. The desire to find a caregiver, a partner, to help him raise his daughter the best that they could. Seeing the two of them together like that made him feel like a missing puzzle piece had finally snapped into place. All other thoughts fled his mind. In that moment, everything felt perfect.
“What are you smiling at?” asked Jules, blushing slightly as he shifted India to his hip and curled a protective arm around her. The way he held her seemed so natural, so perfect, that it took Kilo’s breath away.
“Just...the two of you,” he said softly, before kissing Jules’s forehead, then India’s. “Come on then,” said Kilo, regaining control of his emotions. “Dinner’s gonna get cold if we don’t dig in soon.”
He turned and led the way back into the dining room.
“So, Miss India, which chair is yours?” asked Jules as they approached the dining table.
“That one,” she said, pointing a small finger towards her high chair. “Mine.”
“Perfect. That’s a chair for a princess for sure,” said Jules, making his way unerringly across the room. He easily settled her into her seat and lowered the tray in place with a minimal amount of fussing. “Look here; I think this must be yours.” Jules smiled as he picked up the ladybug sippy cup sitting on the table in front of the high chair. “Would you like it?”
India nodded her head enthusiastically and reached for the cup.
“What do you say?” Kilo added helpfully, stepping around the high chair so that she could see him.
“Pweese!” India shouted with more volume than necessary.
At least she was getting the words down, Kilo thought. Tone would have to come later.
“Fank you.” She said in response.
“You’re very welcome,” said Jules, handing her the cup.
She grinned happily as she seized her sippy cup with both hands and began sucking down its contents with reckless abandon.
“Well then, I wasn’t really sure how to set this up,” admitted Kilo, rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably. The dining table was a large octagon, which was great when there were lots of guests, but as he’d come to realize, it made things a little awkward for romantic dinners. If Jules sat across from him, there would be an entire table in the way, same with sitting at a ninety-degree angle. It seemed presumptuous, however, to assume that Jules would want to sit as close to him as possible.
“Well, why don’t you just sit wherever you normally would, and I’ll figure it out?” suggested Jules. “I don’t want to interrupt the father-daughter dynamic here.” He smiled and shifted a little uncomfortably. It was clear that he was still trying to figure out where he fit in with all of this. Twenty-four hours ago, Jules hadn’t been aware that he was dating a widower with a daughter. All of this had probably taken him completely by surprise.
“Okay then. Well, I usually sit here,” said Kilo, grabbing the back of the chair closest to India.
“Then I’ll sit here,” said Jules, taking Kilo completely by surprise and pulling out the seat on the other side of India’s high chair. “After all, she’s the whole reason for this grand affair, isn’t she?” He smiled at Kilo as he took his place.
“I’ll...um...I’ll go get the food then.” Kilo could barely contain the flood of emotion filling his chest in that moment. He knew he was grinning from ear to ear, like an idiot, and he really didn’t care.
Dinner passed pleasantly. Their topics of conversation ranged across a series of mundane topics, mostly focusing on stuff like the neighborhood, Mr. Cairns, and what sort of career India was mostly likely to have when she grew up. Jules seemed convinced that she was a superstar in the making, while Kilo was a little more down to earth and thought she would probably be a doctor or a lawyer.
They both contributed to helping her eat her dinner. Jules was the first one on his feet in search of a towel when she managed to somehow unscrew the lid of her sippy cup and send milk flying everywhere. Thankfully, she’d been almost done with it so the mess wasn’t too terrible.
Seeing his reaction, and the fact that he was still smiling as he helped clean everything up, somehow made Kilo’s chest tighten in adoration. The Omega was really perfect for the role of parenthood. Denying him the chance to have kids of his own wasn’t fair in the slightest. Despite his reluctance, Kilo resolved to explain everything about his infertility after India was put to bed for the night.
“Someone is going to need a bath,” said Kilo with a sigh as he lifted India from her high chair. “You are such a messy eater.” She still hadn’t mastered the use of utensils, which only added to the mess. He’d hoped to get around it tonight by giving her foods that were a little more solid, no mashed potatoes or anything like that, but after the sippy cup incident, all bets were off.
“I can clean up while you do that,” suggested Jules, climbing to his feet with a smile.
“You’re my guest,” protested Kilo. “You don’t have to do that.”
“A guest that wants to spend time with you. You’re not going to be able to do that if you’re cleaning everything up by yourself,” countered Jules with a little laugh. “You’ve got a dishwasher, right? I saw some Tupperware containers sitting on the counter. I’m sure I can figure the rest out for myself.”
Kilo reluctantly agreed. “Fine, but just...you don’t have to clean everything. Just clear the table and load the dishwasher. Bath time doesn’t usually take very long so I can take care of the rest when I get back.”
“No promises,” teased Jules. “Now get going. You’re wasting time just standing there like that.”
Shaking his head, but clearly unable to win, Kilo carried India upstairs to the bathroom. She wasn’t particularly fond of baths. She didn’t hate them the way some kids did, but she wasn’t the sort to play around in the tub for very long either. Toys and bubbles didn’t do much to change her opinion either, and if things took too long, she would start to get fussy.
Thankfully, she seemed to be on her best behavior tonight. She even allowed Kilo to wash her hair, which was something she usually resisted at all costs. Her thick curls had been subjected to a mass of mashed up food and were in desperate need of attention.
Freshly washed and smelling like soap, India donned her favorite pajamas without fuss. It was close enough to her bedtime that she probably would’ve gone to sleep right away, but Kilo decided to take her downstairs to see Jules one last time first. They’d been bonding well, and he instinctively sensed that the Omega would probably be a little hurt if he didn’t get to say goodnight first.
So he scooped her up in his arms and carried her back downstairs.
The soft hum of the dishwasher drifted out of the kitchen. Apparently, Jules worked more quickly than Kilo had anticipated. As he passed through the dining room, he was instantly confronted by a completely different sight than the one he had left. The table had been cleared and wiped down and the floor had been swept. India’s high chair had been cleaned off and pushed back against the wall where it sat when not in use.
When they passed into the kitchen, the scene was similar. All the dishes had been washed. The dishwasher was running, the sink was clear, the counters had been wiped down, and Jules was storing the last of the leftovers in the refrigerator.
“You didn’t have to do all of this,” Kilo protested as soon as Jules caught sight of him.
“You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’ when someone does something nice for you, aren’t you?” asked Jules, cocking his head slightly to one side. He closed the refrigerator door and crossed his arms.
“Fank you,” said India happily as she rested her weary head on Kilo’s shoulder.
“See?” said Jules, gesturing to her with a smile. “You’re welcome, Miss India.” Jules approached and reached for her.
India leaned away from Kilo towards Jules and he gingerly passed her off to the Omega. The entire transition was so natural that neither Kilo nor Jules seemed to realize it was happening until it was over.
Jules blushed immediately and began to speak, but Kilo silenced him with a kiss to the forehead.
“Thank you,” said Kilo, stepping back and gently caressing Jules’s cheek. “Let’s put this little one to bed, shall we?”
Together, they carried India upstairs and settled her into her crib. Jules read her a story as lullabies played over a radio on her dresser. She was asleep before the story was even over.
“I’ve helped put my sister’s kids to bed before,” said Jules as they withdrew back downstairs. “It...it’s always been different though. I...this has been really nice.”
“Yeah, it has,” agreed Kilo. “I honestly wasn’t expecting her to take to you so quickly.”
“She’s really amazing.” Jules dropped onto the sofa as they reentered the living room.
Kilo took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the conversation he knew he needed to have with Jules.
“So...um, I don’t really know how to ask this,” began Jules, sitting up slightly. His discomfort immediately drew Kilo’s attention, giving him a temporary reprieve from his own uncomfortable task.
“What’s the matter?” asked Kilo, lowering himself to the sofa beside Jules.
“I just wanted to ask about the pictures,” he said, staring across the room at one of the framed pictures sitting on the end table near India’s playpen. “The man in them, I’ve seen him in a lot of pictures around your home. I’m...I’m assuming he’s India’s father?”
Kilo’s chest tightened slightly. He hadn’t actually anticipated this topic of conversation. He’d gotten so used to having Dez’s picture everywhere that he almost didn’t see them anymore.
“Yes, that’s Dez. He was my Omega. I didn’t want India to grow up wondering about where she came from,” he explained. “Dez died in childbirth. It was a difficult labor; a lot of things went wrong.” He felt the familiar stab of pain through his chest as he recalled the scene in the hospital room that day. “I...wanted her to always know who her other father was. I know he would have loved her.”
“And what about you?” asked Jules, looking away a little uncomfortably. “I just want to know that you see me for me and not just as a replacement for the Omega that you lost. I’ve loved getting to know your daughter tonight but...I need...” His voice trailed off. When he looked back at Kilo, his eyes were shining with the threat of tears. “I just need to know that you see me as more than just a surrogate father for your daughter.”
Understanding flooded through Kilo. He was feeling insecure. Seeing Dez’s face everywhere might have sent the wrong message and made it look like he still wasn’t over the love that he had lost.
“Dez and I...I love him very much. I think part of me always will love him,” said Kilo, “but...I let him go a long time ago. You and I, what we have...it’s never been about Dez or India. It’s been about you and I. The things I feel for you, the way I feel when I look at you right now, it rivals everything I’ve ever felt before.”
Jules dabbed at his eyes and forced a smile. “I know I probably sound stupid, being jealous of someone that’s no longer here.”
“It’s a valid concern,” Kilo reassured him. “I’m sure if our positions were reversed, I’d probably feel the same. I want you to understand that you’re important to me because you’re you. Now that I’ve seen you with my daughter, seen how good you are with her, I feel like I must be dating an angel. You’re so much more than I ever could’ve imagined when I first laid eyes on you.”
Jules laughed lightly. “You keep talking like that and you might get lucky tonight.” He leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Kilo’s lips. “Thank you, for taking my concerns seriously,” he said as they parted. “I’m not sure anyone else would’ve.”
“Then they would be idiots.” Kilo kissed his forehead.
“You know, I think you’re pretty great too,” continued Jules, closing the distance between them. “I was thinking...you know...you’ve got a really nice place here, but there’s one room I still haven’t gotten a chance to see yet.”
“Oh yeah? Which room is that?” Kilo smirked as the eager little Omega got on his knees and leaned towards him until his lips were inches from Kilo’s ear.
“I’d love to see your bedroom,” Jules whispered before gently nibbling at Kilo’s earlobe. “You know, I just realized,” he sat back on his heels with a grin. “we’ve never actually had sex in a real bed.”
“We should make an effort to rectify that as soon as possible,” agreed Kilo, climbing to his feet and grabbing Jules’s hand. As he led the Omega upstairs once more, he took a deep breath and resolved to tell Jules everything first thing in the morning.