Chapter 19

Shawn

I laugh boisterously as Tanner runs around, making goofy faces and laughing at himself. He’s a lively and energetic child. I haven’t known him for long, but God, do I love him.

I leave him to continue doing what he’s doing and walk into the house.

Where’s Evelyn?

I don’t see her when I walk into the house, but I hear noises of clinking dishes coming from the kitchen. She must be in there. I need a drink of water anyway.

When I clear the entrance to the kitchen, I pause. Evelyn is standing with her back to me. Her shoulders twitch as she moves her hands around the sink to clean the dirty dishes.

Even though all I can see is her back, the view is amazing. It’s not a sexy scene, but an ordinary one. An ordinary scene that makes me feel grounded, calm, and happy.

I walk towards her. My hands come up to rest on her hips.

“Hello, beautiful,” I whisper.

I press my lips to her shoulder and slowly kiss my way up her neck.

She shivers slightly, tilting her head back to rest against my shoulder.

“Shawn,” she moans.

Her moan causes me to harden.

Jesus, she’s sexy—and that moan was hot.

My hands start to roam all over her body. I rub them from her hips around to her stomach. One hand pushes her back into me, to press her ass into my erection, while the other hand slides upwards to cup her breast.

This time, I’m the one who groans. Her body, pressed against mine, feels amazing.

She wiggles her ass slightly against me and arches her back a tad to push her breast more firmly into my hand.

“Evelyn,” I moan.

Within the next moment, Evelyn goes from wriggling in my arms to going still and cold as a statue. I stop moving my hands and stop kissing her neck.

She turns around and presses herself against the sink in an attempt to put as much space between us. Taking the hint, I back up some to give her more space.

Her cheeks are flushed, and her breathing is rapid. Past that, her body is stiff, and her eyes look misty, as if she’s fighting not to cry.

What the hell?

I open my mouth to begin to apologize because I forgot myself and the current circumstances, but she speaks before I can get a word out.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I—I need to go do some laundry.”

She rushes out of the kitchen, giving me a view of her back once more.

“Evelyn!” I call after her.

She doesn’t look back, though. Nor does she stop walking away from me. I comb my hand through my hair. You made a mess there, Shawn. Good going.

I shouldn’t have touched her like that. I shouldn’t have caught her unaware. Shit, I definitely shouldn’t have done that after the debacle with James.

There’s no doubt that she’s probably emotional, confused, and upset. It wasn’t fair of me to do anything with her, as if there isn’t still the huge gap between us from my disappearance.

I’m such a fucking ass.

The high I was on from having Evelyn close to me and touching her body has completely disappeared. Now, I feel like a bucket of ice water has been tossed over my head and has seeped into me down to the bone.

I feel miserable. I have to find a time—and soon—to apologize to her. I’ll be damned if I let her feel upset over the whole ordeal.

Why the hell did she even apologize to me before leaving the kitchen?

I’m the one who interrupted her while she was doing the dishes and started fondling her like a horny teenage boy.

“Shawn, can you come here for a second please?” Evelyn suddenly calls out quietly to me.

I walk cautiously towards where her voice was coming from in the living room.

I see her sitting on the edge of the couch next to a sleeping Tanner. She’s brushing his hair back from his forehead while she gazes at him adoringly.

She glances up at me, not really making eye contact. “Can you carry him upstairs and put him into his bed, please?” she asks me. “I’d do it, but he’s too heavy for me to carry.”

“Yeah. No problem,” I tell her.

She moves away from the couch as I move towards it. I bend down to lift Tanner gently off the couch and cradle him in my arms.

Evelyn follows me up the stairs and towards Tanner’s room. She lifts the covers so I can slowly place Tanner on the bed. I take the cover and place it over him.

Before stepping away, I caress his head similar to the way Evelyn did to him when he was on the couch.

After a brief moment of staring at him, I step away to walk out of the room. Evelyn is standing in the hallway, this time without looking away from me in discomfort or embarrassment.

“You’re good with him,” she whispers.

All I do is give her an insecure smile. “Evelyn, I’m sorry about earlier. I was out of line.”

She glances down at the floor briefly, but then looks back up holding my gaze firmly. “You don’t have to apologize, Shawn.”

“Yes, I fucking do, Evelyn. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. Touched you like everything isn’t screwed up right now.”

“You know, you used to do that all the time,” she says. “You would come up behind me at random times to put your arms around me. Sometimes, it would be just to hold me. Other times it would be…like it was earlier.”

She’s blushing, but also smiling at the sweet memories flashing in her mind right now.

I wish I could recall the memories, too. But all I can do is cherish the one from a few minutes ago.

Without thinking, we move closer to each other. I caress her cheek and then let my hand fall away quickly.

I had just finished apologizing for being an ass. I’m not about to be one again. I do have some self-control around this woman. If only a little bit.

I step back.

“I’m going to go to my room and call it a night,” I tell her.

“Okay,” she replies.

“Good night, Evelyn.”

“Good night, Shawn.”

I turn and walk away from her.

Closeted in my room, I pace in front of the bed. I haven’t been with a woman in years—seven, to be fucking specific. Being this close to Evelyn is making me painfully aware of the pent-up sexual tension within me.

I start replaying the moment in the kitchen, where her ass was pressed against me and my hands were full of her lush curves.

God, I may have stepped away so I wouldn’t be an ass, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want her right now. I want her in my bed underneath me, wriggling against me like before—but naked this time.

I growl.

I lift my shirt up to take it off because I’m starting to feel hot. Just as the shirt is coming over my head, I hear the bedroom door open.

Evelyn is standing there in the doorway. What’s she doing here?

“You didn’t have to apologize for earlier,” she states. I’m about to interrupt when she says, “No, don’t argue with me, Shawn. You weren’t the only one in that kitchen. And you weren’t the only one who was enjoying it.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

She walks into the room, shutting the door behind her, and moves towards me.

Her arms go around my neck. Without a thought, I wrap mine around her waist and wait for her to speak or make a move. I don’t want to do or say anything that will remove her from my arms.

“I didn’t run out of the kitchen because I didn’t like what was happening,” she continues. “I ran because I was confused. But now? I’m not confused. I want you, Shawn. I want to be with you again.”

I look at her, trying to see if there is any doubt or uncertainty in her expression. All I see is clarity and desire. Whatever happens next, I know there won’t be any regrets for me or her.

In an instant, I yank her against me so there isn’t an inch of space between our bodies, and my lips are on hers. Her lips feel amazing, and I cradle her head in my hands as I deepen the kiss. I will never get enough of her lips on mine.

We both moan from the pleasure of being in each other’s arms and the freedom of letting go of everything except one another.