Eighteen
“Marriage?” she whispered to herself.
She was at the window, leaning out. She had heard commotion outside and rose from the bed to the window to see what it was. Then she heard the two warriors talking down below. It wasn’t a sin to eavesdrop, she told herself. Nay, she wasn’t eavesdropping anyways; she was just hanging out of the window for some fresh air.
It had been a couple of days since her abduction and return, and she nearly had all her strength back. Esther had said that her wound didn’t look too bad, but that she needed to rest.
“Aye. This castle is bustling with activity preparing for the wedding,” the other warrior said.
Who was getting married? Say the name, she silently urged.
The warrior on the left started laughing. “Aye. It is hard to imagine him married. He swore to never marry!”
The warrior on the right laughed as well.
Maddie’s heart sank. No! It couldn’t be. She was hearing wrong!
“The laird getting married,” the warrior on the right said, shaking his head. “‘Twas not a phrase that anyone thought they’d ever say or hear.”
“Aye. Lady Miriam and Sir Malcolm werena too surprised. They said that it had been a matter of time, I heard from Hugh. They were verra pleased. Everyone is pleased. ‘Tis a shame that Lady Madeleine has been ill. She surely would be helping in the preparations,” the other warrior said.
“Aye. She’s in for a fair surprise when she is up and about.” They laughed at this comment.
How vulgar they were! She stuck her tongue out at them and turned around into her room again. Maddie was completely devastated.
Married? Her Connor was marrying. Hadn’t he said he never wanted to marry?
It had been a matter of time? Had Connor known this woman long? But he’d kissed her! Twice! Passionately, too, she added angrily.
What did this woman have that she didn’t?
Maddie sunk down in the bed. Hot tears sprang out from her eyes and down her face. She was losing him.
You never had him, the voice in her head said cruelly.
Her head started pounding. What will I do?
They were a family and she couldn’t stay here anymore. Stop deluding yourself, Maddie. You need to leave, especially now that Connor was getting married.
She covered her ears with her hands in an effort to control the questions swarming in her head.
One stuck out from all the rest.
Where would she go? She didn’t want to go back to her father. He would probably send her to Henry.
The convent.
It was her only answer.
Maddie cried into the pillow. She had felt sad when she found out the truth about her father, but this, this was devastating her. She could barely breathe. Worse, no one had come in to tell her!
How little she mattered to everyone.
Maddie gave into her sinful self-pity. Damn the sin to hell! How foolish had she been to entertain the idea that Connor might one day change his ways and have a life with her.
Foolish, foolish girl!
She pounded her fists into the pillow.
Oh, how she had missed him! She hadn’t seen him since that day when he’d rescued her from Henry. Now, she knew why.
He was with her, whoever she was.
She wished she had a mother to talk to about this, and to offer guidance.
How alone she had been all her life! Alone. Sadly, she would continue to be alone.
Forever.
*****
“Tell us more about Wynton,” Connor asked.
He was sitting in a cottage facing the McLean spy. The old man had gray in his hair. He was tall and had some muscular build. The ex-spy had blue eyes that were now losing their brilliance with age. He spoke with an odd mixture of Scots and English accents. The man had an English cadence, but had a bit of a Scottish flare to his speech.
“Tell us, Arthur,” Iain asked. He had accompanied Connor to speak with the spy.
“Wynton was a jealous man. Still is, I’m thinking. His wife, Anne, was abducted by Laird Douglas Menzies’ men. Although Wynton was possessive and jealous, he took time to answer the ransom. He had his three sons by that time,” Arthur said pausing.
“He took his time answering the ransom?” Iain asked incredulously.
Arthur nodded.
“Aye. His sweet time. Sounds odd, but I suppose not if ye knew him better. He had his lovers. Anne was held for a long while, and well, it seemed that she fell in love with Laird Menzies. When Wynton finally answered the ransom, I went with other men to pick her up. It took one hell of a great effort to take her from Menzies. She didna seem like she wanted to go and Menzies didna want her to. He said that he had withdrawn the ransom. Canna say that I blame the lass. Wynton treated her poorly, and showed their sons to do the same. ”
“Withdrawn the ransom?” It was Connor who asked, with wide eyes.
“Aye,” Arthur said. “If we showed up without her, our heads would’ve been on sticks, so we forced her to leave. Started a battle we did, but we escaped with Anne. She didna say a word on the return ride to England. She changed when she returned. It was as if she was a different person. Eight months after her return, Lady Madeleine was born.”
“Maddie is Menzies’ daughter?” Connor asked shocked. “That’s why Athyn wanted to ransom her. That’s who he wanted to ransom her to. How would he have known?”
Arthur listened as Connor explained Athyn’s attempted abduction.
“Yes, she is his daughter. Wynton knew it, although Menzies never knew that Anne was expecting. I’m willing to wager that he still doesna know he has a daughter. It was a bad night when she was born. Anne was having difficulty with her delivery. When Lady Madeleine came, Anne spent a short while with her and passed. I heard from the midwife that Anne was elated to have a daughter, and a daughter, she admitted in front of the midwife, with a man she had finally found to love. The midwife found that comment funny, but I knew better.”
“Unbelievable. So then Wynton knew and made Maddie’s life hell,” Connor snapped.
“Aye, that he did. He resented her from the day she was born. He was glad to be rid of Anne. She had been bothersome to him, in his words, since she had returned. Not that he was a saint, of course. He knew the baby she carried wasna his and he tormented Anne with threats of what he would do to the baby once born.”
Arthur paused to take a drink of water. Connor and Iain both shook their heads. Poor Maddie.
“Lady Madeleine only grew to confirm Wynton’s suspicions. She had dark black hair and yellow eyes like her father. She looked nothing like Wynton but her face looked much like Anne’s. It made it worse that visitors kept pointing that out to Wynton. It grated on him like stone on stone. To get his vengeance on Anne, God rest her soul, he made the young girl suffer. I heard him say once that in death, Anne would still see what he was doing.”
Connor and Iain nodded for him to continue.
“When she learned how to speak, she was a gabber. She wouldna give anyone a moment of silence,” Arthur said laughing. Connor and Iain joined in.
“She hasna changed, Arthur,” Connor said smirking.
Connor noticed that Arthur’s eyes lit up when he spoke about Maddie.
“I can imagine she hasna, Laird. She was an active child, always running and doing something. When she was almost six years, Wynton told the child that she was a mistake and that her mother died because of her. He said that had it not been for her, Anne would be alive. He also told her that her mother was in a state of death suspended between Heaven and purgatory and that if she didna work hard, both she and her mother would go to purgatory for eternity.”
“That man is bastard,” Iain whispered. He looked over to Connor. Connor was quiet but his tense posture told Iain that he was thinking of a million ways to kill Wynton.
“Yes, he is. ‘Tis a wonder I stayed there for as long as I did. I wanted to step in many times and stop his abusive banter, but my hands were tied. Little Lady Madeleine was a fireball but once he told her that, she grew distant and quiet. She still had spurts when her old self would shine through, but for the most part, she kept herself busy. Wynton always wanted her cleaning and so she coupled saving herself and her mother with cleaning. It saved him expense, he’d said. Every time she would do something Wynton found annoying, he would tell her it was a sin.”
“So that explains her thinking, why she thinks everything is a sin,” Connor said.
“Yes, that’s where that came from.”
“What about Henry Binouix?”
“He is a vile and repulsive creature. The man has sick fantasies all involving young girls. He is twisted. Has a black heart and soul, he does. Binouix likes to deflower them and abuse them. It heightens his pleasure to torture the girls, you see. There are those kind of sick men. He would slap them around and in some cases use a stick or whip. Verra vile, indeed,” Arthur said, shaking his head and twisting his lips distastefully.
“What about the night Binouix came into her bed?” Connor asked.
“I remember that well. I heard the screams, poor soul. Wynton and his sons went over and left her there with him. He wanted her out of his hair and didna care how. If his good friend Binouix wanted her, then it would be better for Wynton.”
“Damn that ass!” Connor seethed.
Arthur nodded his head, “Aye, he was a horrible father to her.”
Connor and Iain explained what happened to Katie.
“We are uncertain whether it was a random incident or if he intended the harm. We also do not know which brother violated our Katie,” Iain said.
“It was intentional,” Arthur said without hesitation.
Connor and Iain both leaned forward.
“Explain,” Connor asked.
Arthur scratched his beard. “Wynton was always confused as to Douglas’ clan name, and always called him Ramsay instead of Menzies. I suppose because they rhyme a little. Wynton kept no secret from his sons. They knew about Anne’s affair and about their sister’s true father. Those boys were as bad as their father. Probably still are. Not an ounce of Anne was in them.”
“Ye are telling us that all of this happened due to a mistake of names?” Connor’s nose flared, and his eyes hardened.
Arthur nodded. “Aye, ‘twould nay surprise me. He always confused the names. Heard him meself. He felt it was beneath him to care about anything having to do with Scots. Learning clan names,” Arthur paused and snorted, “was nay something he thought important.”
Connor’s eyes lit with another thought.
“Wynton said that were I to have a bairn with Maddie, it would be a bastard child touched by the devil’s hands. He thinks that Maddie and I are half-siblings!” Connor said incredulously.
“Wouldna surprise me, Laird.”
Strengthened with new and helpful information, the brothers bid good-bye to Arthur, grateful for the explanations that shed light on so many questions.
“Wynton is worse than we thought,” Iain said.
“Aye, he is. That bastard. He’s tried so hard to break Maddie. ‘Tis a miracle that her spirit isna broken,” Connor said.
Iain looked over at his brother. “Are ye going to tell her?”
Connor shook his head, knowing what he was asking. Would he tell her the truth about her father? “I willna now, and I’m nay sure when, if, or ever. I need to think on it.”
They were silent for a moment before Iain spoke again. He gripped Connor’s shoulder and shook it.
“‘Tis not a time to think about this, Connor. In a few days, ye, my insufferable unattached brother who swore he’d never marry, will finally do so. Mother couldna be happier.”
Connor looked over to Iain. “Keep rubbing salt into my wounds, Iain. When the day comes that ye are shackled, I shall be equally as generous.”
*****
“Maddie, how are ye feeling today?” Miriam came in and asked.
It had been two days since she heard the guards speak. The only time she had stopped crying was when she was sleeping, and even then she was sure that she was crying because her dreams were riddled with images of Connor. She would plant a fake smile on her face or pretend sleep when anyone would enter her chamber. After they left, she would cry again.
Connor hadn’t even visited her once!
“I’m feeling better, Lady Miri-”
“Miriam, please.”
Maddie found her first smile in days.
“Miriam. Aye, I am feeling better but I’m sad,” Maddie said sighing.
Miriam just noticed how thick Maddie’s voice was and the redness in her eyes. Her eyes were puffy, too.
“What is wrong, Maddie? Ye’ve been crying, but why?”
Miriam looked into Maddie’s eyes. Such sadness was reflected there. What had this vibrant girl so miserable?
Maddie looked away and broke out into tears again. Miriam sat on the bed and hugged her.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Maddie. Certainly it canna be that bad.”
Maddie nodded her head and her voice was muffled when she said, “Yes, it is.”
Miriam pulled her back and wiped her tears away.
“What has ye crying like this?”
“Connor,” Maddie whispered.
Miriam grew suspicious.
“What about Connor?” Miriam hesitated.
“I know,” Maddie said in a whisper again.
“Know what, dear?”
Maddie looked up at Miriam. Her eyes were the clearest of yellows.
“That he’s getting married.”
Miriam didn’t try to deny the truth.
“How did ye find out?”
“I heard guards speaking below the window. I wasn’t eavesdropping, just merely getting some fresh air, I assure you. I heard commotion and when I went to see what it was, well I heard them talking,” Maddie said crying. “I’m sorry to be acting like this, Miriam. Truly, I am.”
Miriam ran her right hand through Maddie’s hair.
“Who is he marrying?”
Miriam shook her head and began to speak, but Maddie stopped her.
“No one I know, I presume. When is it?”
“Today.”
“Today! It can’t be! I thought he didn’t ever want to marry.”
Miriam looked down at Maddie and their eyes met.
“‘Twas that he never found the right woman, but he has now. It was all of a sudden, it seemed. Unusually fast, it was, but we are all verra pleased with his choice.”
That felt like a blow to Maddie. She found it difficult to breathe. She nodded her head sadly.
Maddie tried to smile. “I’m happy for him, Miriam.”
“What is it, Maddie?”
Maddie shook her head, blushing.
“Maddie, I want ye to think of me as a mother. I know that ye never knew yer mother, but I am here for ye nonetheless. I do love ye like a daughter.”
Maddie cried more.
“And I love you all so much, Miriam. All of you have shown me more love in these weeks, than my own family has my whole life. I feel so alone! And…and…”
“And what?”
Maddie looked straight into Miriam’s eyes.
“And I’m in love with Connor!” Maddie said and cried anew.
“I see,” Miriam said hiding her emotion under a veil. “Maddie, the woman Connor will be marry-”
Maddie shook her head. “Nay, I don’t want to know.”
“But Maddie, she-”
Maddie shook her head sadly. “It’s alright, Miriam. He doesn’t feel that way about me. ‘Tis obvious! He’s marrying another woman. He would have never been interested in me anyway.”
This caught Miriam’s curiosity.
“Why do ye say that?”
Maddie gave Miriam a frustrated look and sighed.
“Have you seen Maura? I’m not completely innocent to not know what goes on between Connor and Maura. She’s much prettier than I am and my opposite! Connor would have never been attracted to me. Besides, I annoy him.”
Miriam laughed.
“It’s not what goes on between them, Maddie, it’s what went on between them. And ye are beautiful.” Miriam gently tucked a lock of hair behind Maddie’s ear. “Ye are much more beautiful in every possible way than she is.”
Maddie gave her a sad smile. It faded when a thought struck her.
“He isn’t marrying Maura, is he?” Maddie asked aghast.
Miriam’s smile was gentle.
“Nay, he isna marrying her.”
Maddie relaxed some of her tension.
“Well, Maddie, I’ve come in here to ask that ye join the celebration. I had Mairi make ye a special dress days ago. It’s spectacular and I think ye’ll love it. D’ye think ye could join us?” Miriam asked patting Maddie’s hand.
Maddie slowly nodded her head and smiled tentatively.
“I’ll go, Miriam. I wouldn’t miss it for anything. Afterwards, I’ll go to the convent.”
“Convent?” Miriam asked confused.
Maddie nodded again. Her eyes were downcast. She looked up at Miriam after a minute.
“Aye, the convent. I cannot stay here. Nay, do not interrupt me, Miriam. You are all a family and I cannot intervene. I cannot go back home, either. My father would want to send me to that man, and I simply cannot abide by that. The convent is the only answer. Aye,” she said inhaling a quick breath, and smiling unconvincingly, “‘Tis the best decision. It would be the only place that would welcome me and that’s where I would belong.”
Miriam studied Maddie silently for a long minute and nodded her head.
“I understand, Maddie,” she paused before continuing. Her lips formed a thin line. “I’ll come in here later with Katie and we all shall prepare together.”
Maddie nodded and smiled.
“That sounds nice, Miriam. I’d enjoy that.”
At the door, Miriam turned around and spoke to Maddie. Maddie looked up from her hands.
“Just remember, Maddie. The Lord always has a bigger plan for us than what we see. His vision is far greater than our own.”
“That is a beautiful gown, but why make me such an ornate gown?” Maddie asked hours later when Miriam and Katie came in. They were both dressed already.
Miriam wore a beige-colored gown. The color of it brought out her eyes. Her hair was in a braid on the top of her head. Maddie thought she looked regal and told her so.
“Thank ye, Maddie,” Miriam said smiling.
Katie wore a deep blue velvet gown and her brown hair was also braided. Katie’s eyes gleamed with excitement.
“You look like a princess, Katie!” Maddie said in wonder. Katie smiled. “I still do not understand why I should be dressed so lavishly.”
“This is the tradition, Maddie,” Miriam said looking at Katie.
“Aye, ‘tis tradition! Everyone must dress the part and look beautiful for the laird’s wedding,” Katie answered.
Maddie held back the tears that stung in her eyes. She wouldn’t cry again. It had taken a long while to stop them and she wasn’t opening that gate again.
“It is absolutely the most beautiful gown I have ever seen. Mairi did a wonderful job!”
Miriam squeezed Maddie’s hand affectionately. Katie was giddy with excitement, and joined her hand with theirs. Maddie was sad that Connor was marrying but she would put her best foot forward. There was no other choice.
Maddie looked down again at her gown. It was the purest of white, like a cloud. Gold threads tangled to form embroideries, which decorated the edge of the scoop neck and the hem on the flared sleeves. The skirt puffed out some, making her waist look smaller. A golden, affixed rope separated the bodice from the skirt. The beautiful slippers were the same white with golden touches as the dress.
“‘Tis absolutely wonderful!”
“Mairi thought ye would like it. She wanted the golden touches to mirror yer beautiful eyes.”
Maddie smiled at Miriam.
“Maddie, what are those?” Katie pointed towards the door.
Maddie didn’t have to look to know what she was asking about. “A satchel with my clothes in it. I’ll be leaving after the ceremony.”
Miriam and Katie exchanged a look.
After doing Maddie’s hair, they stood back to marvel at the beauty before them. Maddie’s dark hair cascaded down the length of her back in soft, glossy curls. Thin white and gold ribbons ran down with the locks, some intertwining with her curls.
“Terrific! Ye look breathtaking, Maddie!” Miriam said, her clasped hands resting next to her cheek.
“I hope not too much so. ‘Tis improper for a guest to outshine the bride.” Maddie glanced down, a worried look coming across her face.
“Nay, Maddie. Nay worry there.” Miriam grinned. “Ye’ll be verra welcomed today.”
Maddie wondered if the bride would still feel the same way if she knew that Maddie was in love with her groom.
Or if she knew that Maddie wished the bride would take a spill.
Or both.